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if i look back, i am lost
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YOU ARE THE REASON
Xuebing Du
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

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@leehansalien
𐔌՞ ܸ.ˬ.ܸ՞𐦯 she/her ⭐️ main blog ⋆.˚ nsfw blog 🍨 masterlist

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“and you can keep me inside this little locket. right by your heart.” he holds his palm against your chest, locket underneath, to emphasize.
the action is meant to console you, but the warmth of his hand is only a reminder of what’s coming. sanghyeok’s leaving for tour. sure, he’ll still be here for two more days, but not with you. not at home. the warmth of his palm is the last feeling of his warmth you’ll feel for a while. a year at least.
and it brings tears to your eyes. that all too familiar feeling of your nose stinging. you feel the pads of his thumbs wipe beneath your eyes. his hands still hold on to your face. he leans in to kiss the tip of your nose.
“it’s only for a while, my love. i’ll be back before you know it.” and finally a kiss to your lips. “wait for me to come home.”
͙͘͡★ MASTERLIST
⭑ sungho
sunbathing ⋆ sweet boyfie brushing your hair
⭑ riwoo
shy bf ⋆ photograph
⭑ jaehyun
#missinghislonghair ⋆ you’re my everything
⭑ taesan
admiring ⋆ dad!taesan ⋆ i’ve got my eye on you
⭑ leehan
unreal ⋆ cutie beautiful bf ⋆ biceps ⋆ wedding singer!leehan
⭑ woonhak
glue song ⋆ and let me kiss you
˗ˏˋAND LET ME KISS YOU.ᐟ.ᐟˎˊ˗
inspired by this prompt list.
you like to let woonhak believe you don’t know what’s going on, but the truth is, you’re aware of it all. like how he’s slowly moved closer and closer to you on the couch thinking you don’t see him from your peripheral. or how his arm has now been placed at the back creeping its way towards your shoulder. the typical move. you’re surprised he didn’t go all the way with the fake yawn and stretch.
“so,” his fingers finally rest at your shoulder and you do the whole pretend to jump thing as soon as they do. “i heard you’re a good kisser.” and he’s got a look of relief on his face at finally getting somewhere. cute, but you want him to be just a smidge more straightforward.
“oh yeah? and who told you that?” you take the chance to catch him off guard and close the tiny gap in between your bodies. now you’re thigh to thigh and face to face.
-`♡´- I’VE GOT MY EYE ON YOU
things he does for you based off this prompt list.
ㆍdoing the household chores they hate
dongmin wasn’t a fan of laundry day at all. he’d rather do any other chore than this. he’s not fond of spending basically the whole day putting load after load into the washer and then putting said load into the dryer to later take out and fold. he hated folding. so why is he doing laundry you may be wondering? well, his beloved has come down with the cold and is currently in front of him, bed ridden. against your own will by the way.
“i told you i could do it. you hate it. look at you.” you laugh as best you could with a sore throat.
“i’m fine. i’m pulling through for you.” but you can see the way he huffs when he comes across a bedsheet. those were always difficult to fold even for you. he eventually throws it to the side focusing on a pair of jeans instead.

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જ⁀➴ ♡ YOU’RE MY EVERYTHING
soft romantic actions based off this prompt list.
ㆍpulling their chair a little closer to yours
the conversation is in full swing. all your friends laughing and just talking about anything. you insert yourself into the conversation when needed, but you’re mostly just listening and nodding along. jaehyun was beside you having a separate conversation with your friends on the other end of the table. you’d look over at times and see him talking animatedly.
eventually the atmosphere calms and it switches to more hushed conversations. the sound of music softly playing in the background. you feel a shift beside you and look over to see jaehyun’s moved closer.
at first it was just a one time thing. fresh out of the shower after a long day and you didn’t feel like brushing your hair. you walk into the bedroom where he’s laying against the headboard and hold your brush out in front of him. “comb my hair, please? i would do it but i’m really tired and just wanna go to sleep.” sungho nods and sits up gesturing for you to sit in between his legs. and he’s really gentle with it. afraid to tug too hard on the knots so he holds the piece of your hair in his hand and gently brushes it out. then it turns into a daily thing. you don’t even need to ask anymore he already expects you as soon as you’re done showering.
based off this thought i had
he catches up to you after the reception and he lets out a silent sigh of relief when he still sees you there out front. you in your beautiful flowy gown that sways with the wind you’re absolutely glowing. beautiful under the moonlight. he forces himself to snap out of it before you leave for good. he needs to at least exchange pleasantries to deem himself satisfied.
“hi.” you turn at the sound of a voice not expecting someone to be speaking to you since you’ve already said your goodbyes inside the venue. you jump when you realize it was the guy with the beautiful voice singing earlier. the one you made direct eye contact with. you don’t think you could ever forget a face like his. a voice like his.
“oh, hi!” you give him a polite smile. “i would’ve thought you left earlier.”
“i was, but,” his hands are in his pockets and he looks down at the ground with a shy smile. “i hope it doesn’t sound creepy when i say i was waiting for you?” he looks up to gauge your reaction. he hopes he wasn’t coming off as a weird stalker guy.
you are absolutely flustered. him waiting for you? you didn’t have many drinks tonight, but you hope this wasn’t just your brain in a fog and you’re imagining this whole interaction. “me?” you point at yourself.
“yes, you.” he laughs. okay, so, he didn’t come off as a weirdo that’s great. maybe he has a chance now. “i hope you don’t mind, but if you’re okay with it, i’d like to take you home.” he sees the way your eyes widen and he’s quick to clarify. “i- i mean give you a ride home! not-not in that way.” wow his cheeks feel hot. “my name’s donghyun by the way. i’m sorry for not mentioning it earlier.”
“oh! oh okay! yes, yes that’s fine. i’m sorry for thinking in a different way.” you nervously laugh. “and no worries! i’m ___.”
“no, no you’re fine it’s my fault for wording it. like that. um, should we go then?”
“ah yes!” you’re just a flustered mess tonight. but who wouldn’t be in front of someone like him?
once in his car he notices the way you’re shivering and offers his suit jacket. well, he doesn’t exactly offer he just takes it upon himself to drape the jacket ober your shoulders. and it’s warm. and it smells really really good.
“i don’t want to come off too strong, but you really caught my eye tonight and it’d really be a loss if i didn’t take the chance to ask you out. so,” he takes a deep breath and looks at you. “will you go out on a date with me?”
“i’d love to.” you smile.
he considers that night his lucky night.
“look at my boyfriends arms guys.” you squeeze down on donghyun’s bicep, phone up and recording. “i should totally bite them. what do we think?” your mouth hovers as if to bite.
“who are you talking to?” he laughs.
“my fans.”
“there’s no one there. you aren’t live.”
“no, but when i upload it there will be.” you bring your mouth back over to his arm.
“so then wouldn’t they be my fans?” and he’s got that smirk on his face. you know the one.
“they’re my fans too. i’m the one providing the content. they love me. now hush and let me bite.” you finally sink your teeth into his arm and he has the nerve to hiss.
“ah i think i’m bleeding.” he moans playfully falling back onto the couch and clutching onto his arm where you bit.
“anyway, thank you for watching. that was my video of the day.” you wave goodbye ending the recording.
“your boyfriend is in pain and your main concern is saying goodbye to your fans?”
“baby, you gotta understand the business.” you throw your phone onto the couch and kneel beside him. “okay, now show me the boo boo.”
“you’re just so cute and beautiful i don’t know what to do.” you’ve got his face in your hands, cheeks squished in between and lips a tad bit puffed out with the biggest just as beautiful eyes looking up at you. you feel a bit apologetic with the way you handled him just now accidentally startling him.
“and your nose.” you’re about to burst with the amount of fondness you have for him. donghyun was like a gift given to you by the universe herself. you lean in to leave kisses on the bridge to the tip of his nose. “you have the prettiest features i’ve ever seen in my life.”
and then he finally gives you a smile. that smile. enough to make you weak in the knees.
“you’re buttering me up a little too much.”
“i’m just being honest. if i could lend my eyes you’d see that you’ve got this glow surrounding you right now.”
“you’re silly.” he shakes his head with a laugh.
“and angel wings.”
“okay.” whether he’s agreeing to shut you up or going along with the joke you don’t know, but it doesn’t stop you.
“did it hurt when you fell from heaven?”
“alright.” he laughs and pulls you in trapping you in his arms. “that’s enough.”

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jaehyun’s laying with his head on your chest and you’re combing your fingers through his hair. you’re down to his nape when you remember his hair no longer stops there. you sigh twirling a strand around your finger. “i forget you cut your hair every single time. how could you do this to me?”
you feel the way he lets out a breathy laugh against your skin. he tightens his hold on you a little more nuzzling further into your neck. “still not over it?”
“i don’t think i ever will be.” you scratch your nails up and down his back. “i needed more time.”
“promise i’ll grow it out again just for you.” he untangles an arm from your waist to hold his pinky up. you interlock pinkies and leave a kiss on them.
he hopes you don’t feel his eyes on you from where you’re looking out the window next to him. the train continues to move and his playlist continues to play. one earbud in his ear the other in yours. it’s a continuous back and forth. he looks at you, looks away, looks at you again. he’s sure he’ll continue this until you arrive at your destination. this isn’t just any of his other many curated playlists, no. this is the playlist. this playlist being inspired by you. every song is about you. every song is for you.
and he’s the only one who knows.
at least that’s what he thinks.
but you knew. how many songs dedicated to a specific someone do you have to listen to before finally getting the message? and you hope he’s paying more attention to your side profile than the reflection of your expression in the window. a hand hiding the smile on your face.
don’t forget to kiss me or else you’ll have to miss me
a kiss on the cheek was enough to have him a mess. you’ve never seen woonhak blush before. the sight was both surprising and humorous.
“oh? what’s this?”
“it’s nothing.” he turns away asking for the breeze to please soothe his reddening cheeks.
“isn’t that what the song said to do though?” you tease. “let’s just get home before it gets dark.” he grabs onto your hand and pulls you to walk with him. you swing your hands as you walk your smile never leaving your face. “i like you too.”
+ thank you my lovely lia @ihanzzn for recommending glue song <3
you could feel his eyes on you. they were practically screaming out to you. you didn’t want to continue on his torture, but you couldn’t help but find his shyness endearing. never in a mean way. you love to encourage him to express what he wants. always so patient with him. but you also won’t say you don’t love the look in his eye that he gets. that pleading look.
he’s itching for your affection, but he can’t bring himself to reach for you first. he’s sitting right next to you and his fingers twitch to reach for your hand not even a far distance away sat on your lap. god, why is he so shy? he admires your patience. not that it could ever be bothersome, but he can’t help but think if you doubt his love for you. a silly thought. but he still thinks it anyway. you’re always the first to initiate affection and it hurts his heart a little that he still hasn’t been able to reach that stage yet.
“sanghyeok.” he looks away from his fingers to see you’re holding your hand, palm up, out to him. he lets your fingers intertwine together. his heart feels fuzzy at the warmth and feeling of your hand in his. your intertwined hands now resting on your lap. you gently give it a reassuring squeeze.
he’ll get there one day.
your cheek is pressed against his thigh the material of his jeans sure to leave a mark when you get up. his guitar rests on the leg of the couch after he played a couple of songs for you. you lay with your eyes closed, basking in the sunlight. it’s golden hour and the sun’s coating your living room in gold, the sun catcher hung by the window casting rainbows.
“you’re like a cat sunbathing.” sungho speaks after minutes of sitting in silence. his finger is tracing up and down your spine. it tickles making your back arch away when he reaches the bottom. you turn to face him your arms under your head. he pokes your cheek where his jeans did, in fact, leave a mark.
you reach up to poke his nose. “you look like a cat everyday.”
“what?” he laughs.
“you do.”
“okay.”
you sigh and stretch your arms up above your head, stretching your legs out too. he thinks you really resemble a cat now. “play another song for me.” you open your eyes again to look at him. his finger traces along your jaw and he nods.
“it’s okay now, baby. daddy’s here.” dongmin crouches down to bring your baby girl into his arms lifting her off her play mat. he wipes the little tear that slides down her face with his finger. she buries her little face into his chest one tiny fist clutching his shirt.
he walks back and forth in the living room bouncing her in his arms and gently patting her back. “toys can get exhausting, huh?” he turns his head to find she’s finally settled in his arms and fell asleep. she lets out a little sigh as she sleeps, safe in her father’s arms.

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opening your eyes, you squint trying to get used to the sunlight coming in through the window across the room. you rub the sleep away from your eyes stretching your arms above you. you’re wrapped in the warmth of the blankets and arms around you. turning your head to your left is when you see him, dongmin, peacefully asleep beside you. you smile debating whether to touch him or not. you’d hate to disturb his sleep.
you carefully reach a finger out mid air to trace over his cheekbone not yet actually touching the skin. you turn on your side now intrigued by his sleeping figure. one hand’s holding your head up but your finger’s still hovering above his face. you jump at the feeling of a hand wrapping around your wrist. you look over to see he has one eye open, peeking at you.
“why not just actually touch me?” he closes his eye again and brings your hand down so it’s resting on his cheek. you caress with your thumb. “didn’t wanna wake you.”
“‘m awake anyway.” he inhales turning on his back, stretching. he lets out a groan, limbs cracking as he stretches and brings his arms back down and turns his head to look at you fully awake now.
“you’re pretty when you sleep.” you lay back down and lift his arm to cuddle back into him. he drags his hand down your back and slides it back up to rest on your shoulder. “weirdo.” he teases.
the feeling of his skin under your fingertips almost feels unreal. the warmth, the texture, the softness. you trace his lips with your thumb, tugging on his puffy bottom lip. maybe this was all a dream. no. he bites down on your thumb, mischievous smile on his face. you gasp at the feeling and look up at him.
“you’re staring at me like i’m an unreal creature.”
“because you are. i think i’m dreaming.”
“i’m very much real.” donghyun grabs onto your wrists gently laying you back on the plush pillows, hovering over you. “and you, you’re so beautiful.” he whispers hand caressing the side of your face and finally cupping your jaw. “like an angel.” his eyes trace over each and every one of your features. but his eyes linger a bit longer on your lips. full and glossed, begging to be kissed.
and when he finally kisses you is when you realize he isn’t just a figment of your imagination.