a stone in wild seas

Constantine // August 11, 2016

And now I know why

The hardest battles go to the strongest soldiers

Its for those can stand up in the midst of battle

And continue to fight

Despite having pieces of themselves on the floor

_____________________________________

Icarus // August 11, 2016

The pain we feel

May not be blamed onto others

When we choose to point fingers,

We forget to look in the mirror

The pain you feel

And continuously deny

BUNK // October 27, 2017

We will one day look at a different skyline,

in a different city,

as different people

Years from now music will play

And we will be stick in out thoughts once more,

Remembering the teenagers with big dreams and big fears

I found myself in Australia.

I honestly didn’t think I’d get much out of joining a two-week study tour in Australia. We were briefed about attending a few classes and going on several hospital tours. Never did I think that I’d completely throw the career pathway that I dreamed about for years out the window. 

Walking in the silent streets of Box Hill, to taking trains to Flinders Street, to running around Luna Park. It was a taste of freedom and the life I could live. The weather and throngs of people brought me back to my childhood in California. This was the first time that I was truly away from home and there was a certain thrill to waking up every morning. It was a brand new experience that opened my eyes to how different first and third world countries are. Mind you I took review classes for the national medical admission test days prior to my flight and within days of being abroad I was ready to pursue nursing over medicine.

Coming from a “developing country”, I was confined to the idea that being a doctor would be my saving grace. It was a promise of money, of status, of having a chance to refine a very much flawed healthcare system. The Philippines is a country that draws very defined lines between social classes. Seeing overpopulated slums and malls where a wallet cost more than the monthly wages of the working class was a norm here. It was my norm. I haven’t been to a first world country in eight years since I left California to finish studying. Being in Australia made me remember what it was like. Most importantly, it let me see how life in a first world country would be better than studying almost twenty years to become a full-pledged medical doctor. With my bachelor’s degree I could clearly see the promise of a comfortable life, I could see myself owning my dream cat and a range rover.