Who will save your soul?

He nodded.  Even though he hated Teddy, and all that he had done to Rayna and the girls, right now he wasn’t in the mind frame to help the girls.  They needed to be away from him right now.  As much as he hated it.  “Probably in the safe.”  He honestly didn’t know what her will would say.  He had never asked either.  He didn’t like to think about it either.  Though he had one too.

“It’s the way this world works.  Happy is taken in a heartbeat.  In less than the time it takes to breathe, everything is gone.”  He was there, when she took her last breath.  And it was not something he would ever forget.  “Do you ever wonder what you have done in the past, to deserve heartache?”

“I never had much happy for anyone to take from me.” Aside from her brother , Deacon was the first piece of happiness that she’d even gotten in her life. “It was that way when our brother died. He was there one moment and then just gone the next. Everything changed in an instant. You think you can rewind like a video tape. If you can just go back to thirty seconds before then you can stop it.”

“They’re with Teddy.  Which I hate.  But I didn’t know what else to do at this moment.”  He let out a breath, watching her.  Hearing her words, he nodded, tears falling slightly from his eyes.  “I think they would appreciate that.  I know I would.”  

He held his breath at her words, leaning over to kiss her lightly.  He really was grateful that she was there.  He would shatter completely without her there to hold him together.  She was his rock.  And he needed to let her know that, from here on out.  Life was too damn short.

“I didn’t mean to blurt that out.  I just had to tell you.”  He let out a breath, looking over at her.  “Probably not the best time in the world to say it, but it’s also the best.  And I do love you, Aria.”

He honestly didn’t have the words that any of them would need, to find comfort.  All he knew was that she was gone, and now they had to prepare for the funeral.  But he couldn’t do that.  He wasn’t sure that any of them could.  But he couldn’t leave it in the hands of someone else either.  

A breath in, and he simply nods at her.  Having her there, is the only thing that matters to him.  “I love you.”  He had meant to tell her for a while, and it just slipped out.  Not that he didn’t think it.  He just didn’t think that this was going to be the time he told her.  Arms slid around her, and he pulled her closer to him, laying back on the bed.  His head on her arm, he let out a deep breath.  “The girls are so broken.”  

He did love her.  And it was killing him.  To know that he had lost her again.  And this time, it wasn’t his fault.  Closing his eyes against the tears, he knew he couldn’t fight them anymore.  “I am glad you got to know her.  She thought the world of you, you know.”

She’s surprised at the confession. She hadn’t expected to hear him say that anytime soon or perhaps ever given what had just happened. She laid back on the bed and thought to herself for a few quite moments as he spoke about the girls. She could only imagine how broken those precious angels were currently. 

“I imagine that they are.” She finally spoke, her eyes finding his for a long moment. “I want to do something for them. Perhaps, I can paint a portrait of Rayna for them. We surely have enough photographs of her for reference material.” She offered.

He had heard the ‘I’m sorrys’ and the ‘if there is anything I can dos’ since the hospital.  And while he was gracious and thanked them all, what he really wanted, was for people to just leave him and the girls alone.  They needed to process all of this.  They needed to grieve.  And having people always around, no matter who they were, was only going to make things worse.  It should just be the ones closest to him and Rayna right now.  That’s it.  The press, and the fans, and everyone else, could just go and jump off a bridge for all he cared.

He had to remember how to breathe, as he finally pulled back from her.  “Hi.”  His voice was raspy from the crying, and he was tired.  So tired.  The hiding his emotions, and the heartache, had worn him down.  He could only imagine what it would have been like if they were together still.  “I’m sorry I didn’t call you.”  

He should have, but he had run out of time.  Between being at the hospital, and that damn alarm sounding every few minutes, and trying to keep the girls calm, it was enough to drive him to drink.  But he couldn’t do that either.  It wasn’t where he needed to go.  “How did you…”  He was going to finish that question, but he figured it had to do with her brother.  He would have to thank him later. 

He reached up to brush his fingers against her cheek, his eyes closing against the tears that threatened again.  “I’m glad you’re here.”  He needed her right now.  More than he had ever needed anyone before.  “I don’t know how to do this..”

“Hello.” She replied, softly. He was suffering so much and he still felt he had to apologize for having not called. “Shh, it’s fine.” Deep down, she knew that he would have called her sooner or later, and she would have rushed back same as she had already. “No apologies necessary, love.”

She heard the questions beginning and released a breath. “Alaric called me. He saw a piece about it on the news.” Not that Ric was generally known for viewing country music stations or keeping up with the worlds events. But, the latest girl that he’d been seeing was apparently very into knowing everything about everyone.  “He called me and I caught the first flight back.” It hadn’t been the best flight in the entire world. But, it was irrelevant.

Breathe in.  Breathe out.  He wasn’t sure that he remembered how to do that.  His heart felt like it was shattered into a million pieces.  Every time he tried to remember how to function, he broke again.  He wasn’t even sure that he could stay strong for the girls right now, when they needed him the most.

It had been so simple.  An accident.  And now.. Rayna, was gone.  In a split second, he lost her.  The girls, lost their mother.  He wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do now, with the hole left behind.  He just knew, that he had to remember how to breathe.

Breathe in.  Breathe out.

He should have called Aria.  He should have called to let her know what had happened.  She had a gallery showing, and he didn’t want to disturb her.  She knew about Hockney, and his stalking of Rayna, but the last couple of days, she didn’t know.  She didn’t know about the accident, and Rayna and..  he should have called her.  

Aria, meant the world to him.  And after their incredible night at the awards show, he knew that he could easily fall in love with her.  A thought he hadn’t had in a very long time.  But she was a part of his life, and he treasured her so much.  He should have called her.

Breathe in.  

His heart broke, as he sat in the room he had once shared with Rayna.  The time they spent here, just talking and writing music.  All of it, just a memory now.  He had grabbed a favorite picture of them, when he left the house.  He couldn’t be there anymore, and he knew that Teddy, had the girls right now.  He needed time alone, to process all of this.  

Breathe out.

As he lay in his own bed, curled up on his side, he wasn’t even fighting the emotions anymore.  He was tired of not crying.  Of hiding all of this, behind a semi-brave face.  But it was hearing Aria’s voice, that finally broke him.  And as she wrapped her arms around him, he couldn’t hold anything back anymore.  Burying his head against his shoulder, he said nothing, as he cried.

She released a breath as he buried his head against her shoulder. She held him as tightly as she could and allowed him to cry against her. She could only imagine the pain that he was in. She pressed a few kisses to the top of his head as one hand moved to rub circles along his back. There was nothing that she could do that would make things perfect for him, again.

She couldn’t resurrect Rayna nor take them all to a happier time and she desperately wanted to because she loved the man. It was irrational of her to love someone who was still so obviously in love with another woman and now a ghost at that. But, she hadn’t been able to stop herself from falling for his charms, the smiles that he reserved for her, and the way her name fell from his lips in that casual sort of way.

He hadn’t even been the one to call her. Alaric had seen reports of what had happened on the television and phoned her immediately. She had been out of town to show her art to a gallery and she knew he likely hadn’t wanted to disturb her. But, she wanted to be disturbed, and she had nearly dropped the phone and herself to the ground at the sound of the news. It seemed so wrong to her as she had flown back on the red-eye and been greeted by her brother at the airport. Aria had just seen her and she had been radiant and lively. She’d been lovely even with all things considered. Alaric had dropped her at home and it was then that she froze for a moment. Did she really know what to do in this situation? Did anyone?