We Just Leave the Camera Running

The Unknown Dog https://www.instagram.com/p/Cd3qMKervfx/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

A few weeks https://www.instagram.com/p/Cc8poFcPSRf/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

9 pm tonight and tomorrow 9 pm. Link in bio (at Jimmy Beans Coffee) https://www.instagram.com/p/Cc8jtpQJ4zU/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

@cafeneckbeard To Go. April 2022 (at Cafe Neckbeard) https://www.instagram.com/p/CangveVvmx8/?utm_medium=tumblr

@cafeneckbeard where one glass is always not broken (at Cafe Neckbeard) https://www.instagram.com/p/CaVozyvB6wk/?utm_medium=tumblr

Santa (at Berwyn, Illinios) https://www.instagram.com/p/CaOexxogoxQ/?utm_medium=tumblr

Icy Sea (at Washington Island, Door County, Wisconsin) https://www.instagram.com/p/CaJHsOULztQ/?utm_medium=tumblr

We Just Left the Camera Running FAST VERSION

Washington Island to Rock Island and back

I have to be honest, have no choice but to be, really, you know. I didn't really follow the story as much as hear about it, but it was, I hear, a tragedy, and when life is lost, Jesus, it is tough, but what really hurts us, you know, is when we turn on each other, and don't stand together, even though we don't always agree, and we can argue all day about who started the fire, may it be virtual or literal, and in this case, very literal, but while some people blame the woman, a mother, and others blame the animal, a cow, others blame what easily could have been the dirty faced children scampering in the shadows, but instead of ripping each other apart, we should really just be blaming who is almost always at fault, and that's the Irish, because if they didn't leave their damn clutter everywhere...I digress. What's important is that we stay together on this and in time, we will all think it is fun to be Irish, and we will blame our fires on the whisky God made us drink.

Letter I wrote David Bowie in 1992.

"Small things have been known to be quite destructive, in history," said Harold Olowek, the spokesperson for TDMIUS (Tiny Dicks Matter If Used Strategically) a previously secret organization founded by American author, Norman Mailer in 1951.  Olowek also added, "Look at history, look at David and Goliath, look at how that toddler killed Omar at the end of The Wire.  If you know one thing about history, know that it repeats itself. And if you want to know one thing about tiny dicks, know that they can fuck you up, and to clarify, I am not talking about rape, I am talking about the systematic destruction of a larger body, I mean, let me re-clarify, I am talking about how Donald Trump has a tiny dick, and he going to ruin this country because you don't believe in it, or maybe you do? I am bad at being a spokesperson for this organization, mainly because I have a huge penis; it's so big, I can barely walk and if people like me (greedy pro-Cruz righteous types) believed in disabilities and social rights and government hand-outs, I'd be the first in line to get myself one of those racer chairs, like those drive with a straw people have."  Harold Olowek then dropped to his knees, wept, and said, "My last name used to be Ołówek, which means pencil in Polish, and even the females in my bloodline have tiny dicks. I am so ashamed" but then looked up, wiped his eyes and said, "but powerful."

Tears Flow as Olive Garden Waitress Surprises a Favorite, Regular Customer With a Fourth Dipping Sauce For Bread Sticks by Combining the Marinara Dipping Sauce, the Alfredo Dipping Sauce and the Five Cheese Marinara Dipping Sauce and Creating a New Dipping Sauce Called 'Alfredo Marinara's 5 Cheese Dipping Sauce' and also the Waitress Found a Man Named Alfredo Marinara To Call The Regular Customer and Say, "My Name is Alfredo Marinara and I hope you enjoyed my new dipping sauce. It's the ingredients of my name plus 5 types of cheese, which is why we call it that."

When I was a little boy, maybe 5 or 6, I was watching 60 Minutes from my crib and I looked up at my father and asked, "I won't be like Andy Rooney when I am old, will I?" and my father said, "That's the same question Andy Rooney asked from his crib, when he was a little boy." And then I said, "But that wasn't really an answer, was it Father?" My father then said, "Son, I will instead use a little known proverb since the Socratic method has failed. A boy who stays in his crib too long will forever be a little boy, and little boys always think they are right, even when they are really old." Then I looked at my father, with my eyes wide and bright and said, "I often fall asleep right here in this crib" and then I made an exasperated face that then morphed into a self-satisfied face. I bring this up because I just watched the moving men take my boyhood crib out to the alley and I am watching this from my car, writing this from my car and I feel like I am a character in Affliction and also a little sleepy and grumpy and have a lot to complain about, and I am doing body math in my head while watching the crib slowly fill up with snow.