miss knife, i was listening to vampire empire of big thief fame and the line âi wanted to be your woman / i wanted to be your manâ came on and the feminizing beam in my mind was aimed directly at shane hollander. would love to know ur thoughts if u have time or care.
this question is actually such a can of worms. do i think itâs sexy? yeah. would i love to see it? yeah. does it also mean something super specific for shane as a character that requires some extra thought? yeah. this will be really long, sorry.
first of all i think shaneâs relationship with his masculinity is complex and difficult and at times very painful for him. he spends ALL of his developmental years, and subsequently his entire young adulthood, in an extremely toxic environment. sure the other hockey players are probably nice guys, chill to hang with, whatever. but the entire sport is so famously misogynistic, homophobic, and violent, that all of those men are performing the most extreme versions of themselves at all times. shane feels as though he wears & wields his masculinity differently from the other men, and given the context of his employment, this is an especially volatile position to be in. he has an extremely rigid idea of what a man âshouldâ be. he does everything he can to uphold that ideal. hudson has actually addressed this a couple of times, which i love. there is one interview where he says that shane saying âbyebyeâ in the hospital scene was a way of toying with his masculinity. he loves ilya, heâs been alone and in pain and confused and heâs so happy to see ilya, and he can tell that ilya is upset, so he wants to play with him. the idea of âplayâ in the world they occupy is very limited in scope. when we see ilya âplayâ it is roughhousingâhe pretends to body slam svetlana when she makes a joke, he throws popcorn all over the floor while joking about losing the cup. shane immediately dropping his voice and saying âsee you next season đ«Ąâ was him re-adopting the mask of manliness in an exaggerated fashion, because heâs not able to self censor as well as he usually is, although he remembers how essential it is for him to do so, immediately, because someone else is watching him and he canât be silly or playful or flirty. because in his mind, men do not do that. bearing in mind shaneâs extremely black and white manner of thinking about all things, it makes sense he would not easily be able to imagine, or present, a version of himself that can engage in such behavior. hudson also was asked something like âif you could tell your character one thing what would it beâ and his answer was something like âi would tell shane that all of his ideas about his own masculinity and what a man should be are wrong, and he would be a lot happier if he would let himself be freeâ which i think is a crazy read.
there are a few ways in which shane occupies the âgirlâ role of their relationshipâhe is more emotional, he bottoms, he is sexually submissive. he is also a caring, nurturing, sensitive personâhe carries ilyaâs suitcase because he knows heâs working off an injury, he did grocery shopping specifically for stuff ilya likes, he does the cooking while theyâre at the cottage. obviously we know in the big year of 2025 that cooking and shopping and acts of service donât make either gay man âthe girlâ but i think itâs pretty huge to see shane lean fully into that and to show ilya that he cares about him, that he wants to make a home with him, and he will be more than happy to fill a specific role in their shared life. i think he also casts himself as the woman in their relationship due to ilyaâs bisexuality. heâs saved in ilyaâs phone under a girlâs name, shane is the only man ilya has sex with over the course of their affair (at least in the show canon), ilya suggests that getting a wife would solve all of his problems and shane immediately says let me help you with that instead. i also think it is a little self deprecating the way he does imagine himself as the girl, because obviously he is not as good at being a man as ilya is, as any other men are, so he must default to the other option. again, his rigid thought patterns are incorrect and damaging. so he struggles a lot with that.
these are all things that i think are built into shane in the tv show. i think they are awesome. he IS masculine: he is big and strong and plays a rough contact sport. he is basically a sex symbol, as evidenced in all of the hypersexual ad campaigns we see him appear in throughout the show. i believe in the books heâs also voted the sexiest man in hockey but i could be misremembering that. so shane IS effectively performing maleness in a way that appeals to the masses. it is the granular aspects of his identity that he worries about. constantly being around locker room talk absolutely plays a significant factor in his lack of self esteem. we know those guys use slurs like crazy. we know those guys talk about their sexual exploits like crazy. shane canât/wonât do either of those things. heâs not going to participate in homophobic ribbing, and he has no sexual experience with women to brag about. this further isolates him from his male peers. he is struggling to hold onto a place in a world where he does not necessarily âbelongâ. i think a lot of this ties into the way he becomes more flirty and silly with ilya in later episodes. he tells rose that hockey âstopped being funâ; his mom reminds him that he is a role model to a lot of people and therefore canât really relax or slip up. ilya allows him to explore the idea of âfunâ in a safe environment. ilya is a person shane can be himself with. sure heâs got quirks but ilya thinks theyâre cute and charming, and he teases shane right back. hudson specifically used the word âeffeminateâ when talking about shane letting his guard down to be more playful with ilya. hudson ALSO commented very notably on how we donât really see shane âplayâ until the cottage, when heâs joking with ilya about the sleeping arrangements. this continues with the swimming, the soccer, the video games. we never see him ever do those things until that episode, when he has quite literally opened the doors for ilya and let him in.
the other thing to keep in mind regarding shane and his relationship with sex, his body, and his masculinity, is that in the book he is somewhat racially fetishized. no offense if you like the books or whatever but this is plainly a fact. itâs emphasized that he is smaller than ilya, and that he grows very little body hair. he is cast as âthe girlâ in their relationship by the author, because he suffers at the hands of her biases and her preferences. i think it is easier to divorce him from this if you are only discussing show!shane. there is rachel reidâs shane hollander, and then there is hudson williamsâ shane hollander. and iâm going to stand by that because i believe there IS a distinction. iâve already made some long posts about shaneâs race + sex, so i wonât rehash again, but it IS something to be kept in mind when thinking about feminization specifically.
shane is characterized by his sexual shame in both branches of canon. in the books he hates getting fingered because he thinks itâs âtoo gayâ and he âcanât relaxâ. the show doesnât bother with this cus itâs not actually useful. in the book shane is constantly calling attention to all the âweirdâ and âembarrassingâ things that turn him on. he likes being on his knees, he likes taking orders, he likes letting ilya call all the shots and do whatever he wants with his body. the show doesnât bother with this, either. shane retains a lot of his agency (ânot hereâ being repeated many times places the power in his hands, because every time, ilya respects it, and is rewarded for it later) while still being allowed to fully commit to the fact he prefers to be submissive. heâs definitely still got a lot of internalized homophobia, but over the course of 10 years, he learns to let himself like what he likes. heâs more easy-going and assertive in the sex scenes in later episodes. he hasnât totally flipped their power dynamic, but he knows what he wants and how he wants it, and by god is ilya going to give it to him.
what does all of this have to do with shane wearing panties and being a good girl? fantastic question. i actually forgot you had asked it. i personally think that shane would be into degradation. i personally think that if ilya were to forcefem him it would drive him crazy. i personally think that if shane were to allow himself to like what he likes, and to stop imagining himself as canadaâs poster boy for the alpha male, that he would be into certain things. i think he likes roleplay. i think he would probably be into it if ilya said âgood girlâ and i think he would be into it if he said shane gets wet when heâs kissed or fingered. i think he would be into it. some of this is baked into him, and into the way ilya talks to him. âyou look prettyâ being the first way ilya starts to tease him in a new context is soooo specific and so telling. shane is immediately defensive: âyouâre wearing makeup tooâ, reminding ilya that weâre both men here, being held against our will and forced to wear mascara. and ilya shrugs it off because heâs secure in his masculinity. âyeah but i donât look prettyâ is great. and like⊠hudson williams IS pretty. and shaneâs wearing his face. so he IS pretty. i think the way shane responds to that like an accusation, rather than a compliment, especially because it comes from someone heâs interested in sexually, is super interesting and it tells us a lot. i think shane likes to be embarrassed. i think humiliation and degradation would be big for him. he calls attention to his own embarrassment and self consciousness all the time. i think it gets his rocks off to debase himself for someone bigger and stronger and more manly and more in charge. i think he would be so so ashamed and also so so hard if ilya made him wear panties. i think it would scratch an itch in his neurotic little brain. i think certain forms of roleplay would be so cathartic and so exciting for him. personally i would love to see it. personally i also think ilya would love to see it.
anyway i donât know if i answered your question but i hope you found this interesting? enlightening? i donât know. i think shaneâs got a complicated relationship with his body (we didnât even have time to get into the eating disorder) and i think that contributes to his relationship with his masculinity. and he is always most aware of his maleness and his body when ilya is fucking him. itâs like the perfect recipe. okay thatâs all for real. thanks for playing Characters with me
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