another sufferer of jiang cheng brain disease

Refreshed my memory on some stuff on the wiki–

Rulan, after JW Waterhouse’s Cleopatra.

I decided that this would be titled “Rulan” rather than “Jin Ling”, with the thought that the setting of the painting, somewhere in Koi Tower, is one where people are more likely to call him Jin Rulan. I also considered titling it “(New) Sect Leader Jin” but I thought that would be confusing, and “Rulan” better parallels the original painting title.

Initial sketch is here!

Someone clips it and it goes viral.

Over the next few days, Shane and Ilya's mentions start to get flooded with pictures. Mostly it's screenshots from various games they played against each other, meticulously picked through by dedicated fans to find every moment Shane and Ilya looked at each other on the ice.

Some screenshots get shared by hundreds of different people because they stand out so obviously: Shane and Ilya meeting each other's eyes during a face off; Ilya looking at Shane while his back is turned, naked longing visible on his face; Shane chasing after Ilya with a small but delighted grin.

There are also pictures from press events, award ceremonies, behind the scenes at All Stars. Seemingly any time Shane and Ilya got captured in the same frame gets dug up and shared.

Finally, a couple of weeks later, the director of Shane and Ilya's CCM commercial posts outtakes from their shoot. It's captioned 'Took a bit of digging but I knew I still had these somewhere! I had to make my contribution to the #HollanovArchives even though this must have been a while before they got together. These kids had crazy chemistry, right from the start!'

Shane hasn't responded to the onslaught yet, too overwhelmed by the (slightly terrifying) dedication of their fans as well as the fact that he now has dozens of pictures clearly displaying his and Ilya's love for each other during a time in their lives when it was so desperately hidden.

He does respond now, sharing the director's post with a sincere (and publicist-approved) caption thanking him and the fans.

So that's the tragedy of Ilya Rozanov. The tragedy of Shane Hollander is that he will give completely up and then just keep going. Failure is not an option and he needs to keep performing at the highest level possible for as long as possible but everything else will be gone. Any sort of light or warmth extinguished. Deprivation will become its own reward. He will become so scared of his own wants that he starts actively avoiding things that bring him even some modicum of pleasure--and yes, this would be self harm. He starts to associate the pain of longing with success. Family is his only reprieve, and even then he rations it out. He holds all of his ache and his longing and his need in a fist in his chest and sometimes when his mom hugs him too tight or his dad rubs his shoulders it starts to dislodge and that's dangerous. He can't let himself have that.

Arthur Pike, sitting in Hayden's lap at the next microphone, shouting: HELLO SHANE HOLLANDER

Shane: Ha, um--tonight's game was tough but we're hungry for it--

Arthur Pike, struggling out of his father's grasp: SHANE! SHANE! SHANE!

Shane, whispering: Okay, okay.

if you give a man the power to feed you you give a man the power to starve you.

so you’re on all the bank accounts. do you have an account of just your own that he can’t access? because he has one. do you have a way to get money into that account uncontested? because he does. do you have a credit card in only your name? he has one. do you alone qualify for a mortgage or car loan? he does. do you have employment history? he does.

have you considered that if he hurts you and you file a report or get medical attention, that will damage his career as a public figure, and his career is your only income? have you considered that unless you are 100% certain you want to divorce, it’s in your best interest to keep everything as quiet as you possibly can? have you considered that your husband plays a sport with high rates of CTE and drug and alcohol abuse which all correlate to rage and loss of impulse control? have you considered that at any time he can get traded and you’ll be off to utah in 24 hours? have you considered that your support system is a group of women in the same place as you who consider this all normal and even enviable? are you a good wife? are you a caring mother? are you a hot girlfriend? have you learned to find value in your commodification? if you broke up with your boyfriend and cut your hair and changed your name would your friends still be your friends? would your community still be your community? it all seems exciting and romantic and like a perfect story when you are 21 and he proposes on the beach. it seems like the way you want your life to go. now you’re 31 with 5 kids and no work history in a place you didn’t grow up surrounded only by women in your same situation.

and maybe nothing bad happens! maybe he loves you and treats you well. maybe he is kind and caring and a good partner and a good father and a good husband. maybe you are respected and valued.

SVSSS x Witch Hat Atelier (pt 3)

Meet Master Shen's loyal and trustworthy Watchful Eye!!! Reliable as always, Liu-shidi 🙏

I had sm fun figuring out a design for Witch!LQG and went with something sort of prince/knight inspired, since he's always given me that vibe in canon. Also an excuse for me to indulge in liushen crumbs!!!

Him and his sister are from a very established witch family and lived in the Great Hall for some time, until he got sick of it and left to go adventuring. He signed up to be SQQ's watchful eye after learning that he suddenly wants to move his atelier outside of the great hall, thinking he's up to no good (LQG still believes SQQ is SJ at this point). Little does he know that the SQQ he now lives with acts so different from the one in his childhood and unexpectedly becomes fond of him (as all watchful eyes do with the masters they protect, anyways)

I missed drawing img please feast your eyes on buff drunk LWJ who just wants to show off the love of her life!!!

Im so gay

- Shoulders. Back. Arms. 🫪 (Yeah this is the horny balloon emoji again for those who can't see.)

- Fixing the hair? Soooo casual. So nonchalant. Doesn't care at all.

- Imagine answering the door shirtless in October and that just being a casual choice you're making with no alterior motive at all. Happened to my best good friend Ilya Rozanov

- The Rick Owens haunt the narrative

- Moles.

- Literally he is serving and for what. Shane walks in the door like "Wattup you know who built this place" and has to be redirected like a distracted dog.

- He is trying to be so cool and casual and nonchalant. He's so chill and cool and nonchalant in fact that he breaks a personal fucking record for how long it takes him to get Shane's legs around him. (42 seconds. I counted.)

- Starting to think that Shane has Doritos at the Cottage because he's being fully sublimated into it by Ilya's shoulder to waist ratio. Like it is that serious.