EL 𝜗𝜚

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twenty one, she/they, arsenal + lionesses .✦

➷ masterlists

leah williamson

⤷ bubba universe | superstar universe

alessia russo

katie mccabe

⤷ little monster universe

lucy bronze

hello hello long time no see (yet again, no shock)

things have been super crazy but i am officially now a graduate 🔥so am back!

yes i am still writing for this universe!! struggling a tad with ideas so if anyone has any please send them my way :D

alessia russo x reader | masterlist

⤷ just pure fluff based on this ask

୨୧

you barely have time to react, or even move an inch from your spot sprawled across the sofa - before the front door practically flies off its hinges, and your apartment is filled with the absolute whirlwind that is your girlfriend.

“i’m back!” she beams as you sit up, coming into her line of sight - and in quite literally the blink of an eye she was dropping her bags and launching herself practically flat on top of you, and straight into a full- blown ramble, barely giving herself a moment to breathe (or for you to even say hello)

despite alessia’s usual reserved nature, you had completely expected and predicted this - as it occurred every single time she came home to you after being around tooney, her best friend’s sheer amount of energy being beyond infectious.

“oh my god you will not believe the few weeks i’ve had, it was insane! it was so intense, like the training and stuff, but it was so fun! my legs are still sore by the way i will be requesting a massage later. i’ve been annoying the girls all week about it apparently - i think they’re overreacting but whatever. oh! and i wish i could’ve recorded the way keira absolutely destroyed georgia in this one drill - she went face first onto the grass! we were laughing about it for ages, even sarina! and the games! babe, the games were - wait, you watched them right? oh yes of course you did i remember you saying on facetime, but i’ll tell you anyway-”

you smile at her fondly, your eyes never leaving her as she sits up a bit, her hands flying around animatedly as she recalled literally every waking moment since she’d been away to you.

her presence is almost electric, lighting up the entire room in a way that made you realise just how much you missed her - even when she’s like this, overflowing with stories, not letting you get a word in, details tumbling out of her mouth as if she was afraid that she’d forget them if she didn’t say them quick enough.

“and millie - oh god, you know what she’s like, right? she dared tooney to-”

you suddenly decide to lean forward and cup her face, cutting her off mid sentence by pressing your lips to hers gently.

and for a moment, she freezes. you feel her entire body stiffen, mimicking a statue, before you feel the heat radiating off her cheeks beneath your fingertips. her hands, which had been gesturing madly mere seconds ago - hover awkwardly mid air for a second, before they spring into action, like you’d just pressed play on her remote - and they wrap around your waist, kissing you back, and instinctively deepening it.

when you finally pull away, she blinks at you, dazed - buffering, almost.

“w-what…um. what was i saying?” she stammers, volume suddenly much quieter than before, her face burning red.

“something about millie and a dare?” you grin, knowing there was zero chance she’d remember it now, thumb stroking her face as she practically crumbled beneath your touch.

she opens and shuts her mouth almost robotically, no words leaving her lips. instead, they let out the smallest, breathiest laugh as she shakes her head, still visibly flustered.

“you can finish telling me later.” you tease lightly, pressing a soft kiss to her cheek, and another to the corner of her mouth. “just really missed you.”

alessia all but melted at that, arms drawing you into her hold as she buried her face into your neck, peppering kisses onto the exposed skin that peeked out from underneath your her shirt.

“i missed you more baby.” she mumbles, voice muffled as her hand moves to tenderly rub your back, drawing little shapes there like she know you loved.

you chuckle, holding her close - bathing in the newfound silence that settled across the room, the only exception being the light patter of the blonde’s heartbeat, steady and warm against you.

-

me and who me and who me and who

thank you anon for this request i hope i did it justice! literally wrote it in an hour and city just drew to west ham so my evening is going FANTASTICALLY! let me know your thoughtssss

Alessia rambling on about something. The girls half listening. Reader at some points cuts her off with a kiss on the lips. Alessia totally forgetting what she was talking about; instantly her attention now is in her girlfriend?

leah williamson x teen!reader | masterlist

⤷ as much as you try to deny it, you’re having some issues sleeping, and it just so happens that your annoyingly observant captain is your roommate.

part of the superstar universe! loosely linked to this

୨୧

your nerves still hadn’t quite settled after your ‘chat’ with leah. they had however, definitely eased a little bit, and things were starting to run a bit smoother for you, from you happily (forcibly at first) joining the rest of the girls for a meal for the first time, to you actually starting to speak to them - creating a bond which then translated onto the pitch and grew your confidence there massively. despite this, there had been a few moments were your anxiousness was at an all time high - especially as you followed the blonde down the hallway to your shared room.

whilst it had definitely been a shock to the system when you’d originally found out that you were being called up to the lionesses - the captain herself insisting on rooming with you might have just out-done it.

“just wanna keep an eye on you, kid.” she said softly with her signature easy smile - ruffling your hair like you were a small child. “make sure you settle in alright, you don’t need to look quite so frightened, i won’t bite your head off”

-

that had been a couple of days ago. and so far - you would say that you’d been doing a pretty good job with pretending that everything was alright. like the weight of wearing the england badge wasn’t pressing down on your chest, almost limiting your breathing, and like you weren’t tossing and turning every night without fail, staring at the ceiling whilst your thoughts ran wild - whilst you begged for rest that you knew wouldn’t find you.

however, as in denial as you were about everything, leah had noticed. of course she had. she noticed everything - something you should’ve realised by now.

-

“y/n” she said into the dark casually on one particular evening after lights out, making you jump out of your skin - having assumed that she was long asleep, like she usually was (or so you thought) by this time of night. “you’re not sleeping well - are you?”

your stomach twisted, dropping at her words. you couldn’t believe that your struggles had been so obvious not just once but twice now - and your cheeks flushed with an almost shame. you were nineteen years old. technically an adult - yet stuck feeling like such a baby. “i-”

“and don’t lie to me - you don’t have to, you know. not at all. and besides, i can hear you shuffling around when you think i’m asleep.”

you chewed on your lip, staring at the blanket that you’d been holding tightly around your legs, thanking the universe that you were having this conversation with the lights off - so you didn’t have to face her, face that caring look in her eyes that no doubt matched the softness in her voice, that had never and would never fail to make you completely crumble. you felt completely and utterly ridiculous. “i-i just….i struggle with it i guess. sleep.”

upon hearing your rather mumbled response, and almost sensing your previous thoughts, leah flicked her bedside lamp on, allowing a warm light to flood the room, and giving her the chance to study you properly from across the room, propping herself up on her elbow, eyebrows furrowed. “struggle how, exactly?”

you hesitate, your throat suddenly dry as you stare at the ceiling, and your shoulders curling in slightly as you attempted to string together an answer. “i don’t know, i’ve um- always been like it i guess. my brain sorta doesn’t switch off, and when or if it does, i have these….nightmares, or whatever, and then i can’t get back to sleep. so it just feels a bit- it’s silly.”

tears pricked at your eyes as you processed what you just said - closing them for a second, as if waiting for the incoming laughter from the older girl. it certainly felt like it deserved it - it felt mortifying, and like you should be better, more mature than this.

but the laughter never came. nor did the teasing. leah just hummed and nodded, like it made perfect sense, like you’d just told her the day of the week it was.

“why didn’t you tell me earlier?” she asked, causing you to shrug gently.

“i didn’t want to be a problem.” you whisper, so quietly that if she wasn’t so focused on you she would’ve missed it.

she sighed, shaking her head. “look at me, sweetheart. you’re not a problem, there’s zero judgement here i promise. i mean- i used to have to room with gee and she slept with jungle noises on at a stupidly loud volume.” she grumbled the end of her sentence, remembering those nights all too well - before sitting up properly in her bed, and running a hand loosely through her hair.

“look, and you can tell me if it’s overstepping, but if it helps you can sleep in my bed with me. sometimes it’s easier when someone’s there - at least i find.”

your face burned as you looked at her, making eye contact for the first time in this whole ordeal, something you were awkward with at the best of times, never mind in situations like this. “no, i c-couldn’t do that. that’s s-silly. childish.” you answered almost robotically, and in a way that made her heart break, like you’d been told those words so many times that you believed them. which you had.

she didn’t take your answer personally. in fact, it checked out - she had already checked in with your u23s teammates after your panic attack, and asked for their advice about how to make you comfortable, and therefore knew that this was something that helps you but you would probably be too embarrassed to ask for. meaning she could’ve pushed and got you to cave, but she wanted the decision to come from you.

“it’s not silly,” she said firmly. “but it’s completely your call - just know that the offer’s always there.”

you nodded profusely, very grateful but far too stubborn to accept, feeling like you had something to prove to yourself now. you could handle this. you needed to.

-

(spoiler alert - you couldn’t handle it.)

tonight had been worse than usual. much worse. the nightmare itself had been unsettlingly vivid, a slap in the face reminder of all of your worries - with flashes of failure, letting everyone around you down and you inevitably ending up alone. you all but jolted awake just as dream-leah told you that you were nothing but a burden to her, perhaps your worst fear of all, tears streaming down your cheeks.

you sniffed, pressing your face into the pillow and curling into yourself as you took in the overwhelming, almost suffocating silence of the room, desperately trying to cling onto the remains of your resolve and breathe through it.

but of course, it didn’t work - it never did.

which meant, against every voice in your head screaming at you to just suck it up and deal with it, you slipped out of bed, and before you could stop yourself you found yourself stood next to leah’s, trembling.

she was fast asleep, the only noise in the room being her soft breaths, which made you second guess your decision, looking back over your shoulder at your duvet which had clearly been discarded to the floor during the course of your thrashing.

“lee?” you whispered - voice cracking almost painfully through your silent cries.

for someone who prided herself on being such a heavy sleeper - and someone who loved her sleep, taking every moment she could to nap - surprisingly, the blonde stirred immediately, blinking up at you in what started as confusion, before it immediately morphed into concern. “what…hey, hey, what’s wrong?”

you swallowed harshly, the lump in your throat feeling as big as ever, suddenly finding it impossible to utter a word - now beyond embarrassed as well as upset. but leah didn’t push, and whether it be out of understanding or sheer tiredness, she said nothing, just simply shifted over, lifting up her blanket. “c’mere bub.”

you glanced back at your own bed for a split second before climbing in beside her, the tension in your body melting away the moment she wrapped her arms around you, drawing you into her warmth protectively.

“there we go.” she murmured, her voice thick with sleep. “you’re alright, i’ve got you.”

you tucked your face into her shoulder, matching your rushed breaths to the steadiness of hers, instantly feeling yourself calm down.

it was stupid. and you’d probably regret disturbing her in the morning and panic yourself into a hole over it, and the fact that you should be grown up enough to handle this on your own. but leah didn’t make you feel silly - she never did. she just continued to hold you, drawing slow circles into your back until your breathing eventually evened out.

—

the next morning you woke up in a way that you rarely did, slowly blinking awake, feeling more rested than you definitely ever had at a camp - and arguably even ever. the blonde was already sat up awake beside you, scrolling on her phone and grinning when she noticed you beginning to stir.

“best sleep of your life, wasn’t it?”

you rolled your eyes, unable to fight the small smile creeping its way onto your lips. “maybe..”

“told you it wasn’t silly.” she chuckled, ruffling your bed hair teasingly.

“shut up.”

-

from then on, it just became a thing. every camp, every trip - you didn’t even bother with separate beds, and leah never complained. if anything, she seemed to like it just as much as you did, very much feeling like a big sister looking over her little sister - like she had her own ‘giant teddy bear’ (her words).

and no matter what, no matter how nervous or uncertain you felt, she was always there, like some kind of safe haven.

-

they say write what you know right? (typing this at 2am. i went to bed at 10pm.)

hope you’re all enjoying this lil series so far! more to come i promise <3 send any ideas you’ve got my way & thank you to my beloved anons who already have - i see you

take this as my official ‘i am back taking requests’ post! working on a couple of things for the little monster universe as we speak to feed you all!

leah williamson x teen!reader | masterlist

⤷ you finally get called up to the senior squad - only to feel completely out of your depth when you get there

୨୧

you hadn’t spoken an awful lot since arriving at camp. in fact - apart from the expected, friendly hello’s and the odd word uttered in the heat of a drill, you hadn’t said anything. certainly not because you didn’t want to - everybody had been exactly as you had expected, incredibly welcoming and kind - but more so because you didn’t know how.

this was the lionesses. the team you’d dreamt of playing for ever since you were a little girl, and the only girl on your school team. even back then, when you were combining football boots and princess dresses- this had always been your goal, one that you had pushed yourself to your absolute limits to reach, and you’d finally made it - against all odds.

except - you had spent so long trying to make it that you never considered what what happen if, when you did. and even now that you were here, you weren’t entirely sure that you belonged, or deserved it.

everywhere you looked, no matter where you were, in every training session, every team meeting, even in the physio’s office - there were world class players, who worked and gelled together perfectly, whilst laughing and joking like a family. they belonged here, they had history here.

and whilst you were expecting to feel like an outsider when you weren’t in the team - nothing could’ve prepared you for feeling it whilst you were in the team. a moment that you had worked your entire life for, that should be like a dream come true - instead feeling like you had been catapulted into the deep end with no armbands as everyone watched you drown from the sidelines.

-

as well as you thought you had hidden your inner turmoil, people noticed. in fact, most of the girls did - being naturally all very overprotective of the younger ones (even the ones who struggled to make eye contact with any of them and barely uttered a hello. especially those ones)

leah had been the first by miles to pick up on your quietness. as the captain, she was almost annoyingly observant, and over the span of a few days had realised that it may be a little bit more going on with you than just the expected shyness - something that sitting next to you at breakfast, or passing to you a tad more in training could resolve. she picked up on all of your behaviours, even the ones you hadn’t realised yourself. when you hung back from the group as they walked in from the field, when you bit your lip and hesitated before speaking, your voice cracking softly when you did so, every time you forced a smile, whilst peeling the skin off your fingers and looking like you were on the verge of tears.

she saw it all - every time.

so when you silently disappeared from training, it wasn’t at all shocking that leah was the first to notice.

“anyone seen y/n?” she frowned as she frantically scanned the pitch, it deepening as you were nowhere to be seen.

“she was in the gym inside last time i saw her, maybe she’s still there?” mary replied, mirroring her captain’s expression, as she took a swig of her drink.

the blonde nodded and turned on her heel after promising mary she’d keep her updated on your whereabouts. completely unbeknownst to you - you were a common conversation point within the more senior members of the team, all of them wanting to help you feel like you were welcome and at ease there.

as she made her way towards the gym - worries swirled around her head. something didn’t sit quite right with her about your absence. you were always visibly nervous, you had been since you arrived, but above that you were diligent, never one to miss drills or slip away like this unnoticed. and you had been extra tense all morning - something she had intended to pull you aside to check in about, having not said a word the entire day, only giving out a few tight lipped smiles and nods.

her concerns only deepened as she entered the near silent gym - and realised it was empty. usually, she would be celebrating an empty gym, making the most of it before the chaos that was the rest of the team arrived - but this was a different kind of feeling. one that made her stomach tighten.

she saw an awful lot of herself in you, and that paired with the little bits of information sarina had been allowed to tell her about your background, made her feel the need to be overly protective over you - in an almost older sisterly way.

leah continued to make her way across the room, leaning to check the gaps in between machines and past the stretching mats - just in case.

just as she was about to leave and call for whoever you call when your nineteen year old teammate vanishes into thin air - she heard it. short, uneven, almost gasped breaths, and muffled sniffles, getting louder the further she went.

she found you curled up, practically in a ball against the furthest wall - hidden away, your knees to your chest, and your hands trembling, gripping the cuffs of your sleeves in a somewhat attempt at grounding yourself.

and she could physically feel the way her heart clenched.

“hey, hey” she said softly, practically a whisper, crouching down a comfortable distance away from you, wanting nothing more than to pull you into her arms - but not wanting to startle or upset you even further. “it’s okay, you’re okay.”

your head snapped up at her words, like a deer in headlights - your teary eyes widening, filled with panic. “oh god i-i’m so sorry, i just-”

“you don’t have to apologise, not at all.” she interrupted your ramble - voice gentle. “can i sit?”

you hesitated, before giving a small nod, so small in fact that if her eyes weren’t currently piercing through you, she probably would’ve missed it. she shifted so she was sat cross legged in front of you - a little bit closer but still giving you space.

and for a brief moment, the only sound was your shaky breathing.

“do you wanna tell me what’s going on? i’m here to listen.” she asked, breaking the silence - no pressure behind her words, just simply opening the door for you.

“i- i just….don’t think i fit here, at all” you admitted through choked sobs, sniffling softly - your voice barely audible. “everyone here is incredible - and i’m not good enough, i- i thought i could do it but i can’t. and w-what if i mess up, and everyone realises it too?”

leah exhaled softly - her heart breaking at your words. “oh mate. i get it, trust me. i really do.” she murmured, her expression warm as she made eye contact with you for the first time.

she shifted so she was sat beside you now, looping an arm around your shoulder and easing you into her side gently.

you frowned to yourself, looking up at her through blurry eyes. “but, no. you’re- you’re leah williamson. you’re the captain, one of the biggest players in our game. you’re meant to be here - you are a huge part of what ‘here’ is.”

she chuckled in response, shaking her head lightly as she rubbed your shoulder reassuringly. “you think i’ve never felt like this? trust me, i have had my fair share of ‘i don’t belong here, i shouldn’t be playing football, my world is ending’ moments” she said - tilting her head, and reading your expression like a book.

“but let me ask you something - something i always ask myself when i feel like this - who here, today told you that you weren’t good enough?”

you swallowed harshly, choking back a splutter in response as you register the fact that she’s right.

“um- nobody, i-i guess. not really.”

“right. so, that little, nagging voice in your head? it’s lying to you.” leah shifted again, leaning forward slightly, holding eye contact as to really get the message across. “you’ve not only been called up, which is a huge thing in itself, you’ve been admired by each and every person here - we’ve been watching and waiting for your moment, and are overjoyed that it’s finally here. you’re incredibly talented - and you do belong here. nobody hands out lionesses call ups for nothing. you’ve earned this, kid. give yourself that credit.”

you wipe your eyes, her words beginning to sink in, although still tangled with a cloud of doubt. “i just don’t want to disappoint anyone.”

your words trail off at the end of your sentence, but the captain, your captain - hears them clear as day, and she softens even more. “listen to me, okay - and you can trust that i’m being honest, ask anyone hear and they’ll take the mick about how serious i am with everything. you’re new, yeah. but that doesn’t , and will never mean that you’re alone. we’re a team, and that means we’ve got you. no matter what - you could score five own goals and get a red card tomorrow and we’d still back you. i promise you.”

your lip trembled, more tears slipping down your cheeks as you nod. leah, without hesitation pulls you into her arms, sensing that you could really do with a hug - and not being able to bear seeing you so upset without comforting you any more.

“you’re safe here, promise.” she said firmly, stroking your back gently, and almost rocking the pair of you. “i’ve got you - always.”

she remains like that for what feels like forever, grounding you and whispering words of reassurance until a shaky breath slipped your lips as you nodded, finally starting to believe her words. “thank you. i, um. i needed that.”

“come on then superstar - let’s show the world what you’ve got.” she helps you up and links your arm in hers, giving you a reassuring nod and smile as you both make your way back out to the training field.

“and please don’t actually score five own goals and get a red card - sarina would kill me.”

-

feeling incredibly rusty with writing currently but i have revamped my page + am getting back to it!

and what better way to chuck myself in the deep end other than starting up a new series :’) i hope you love it as much as i do

miss your fics,hope you’re doing well!

hi my love!

i’m good thank you for asking! been a tad all over the place and doubting my writing a little hence the break, but i am hopefully back now!

Would you ever extend it or make it a part II where it’s just Caitlin comforting Katie? Maybe little monster wakes up in the middle of the night if your uncomfortable writing just a player x player version.

thank you <3

i definitely would be up for writing that if it’s something you want to see!

i honestly don’t know how i didn’t think of this after literally having caitlin refer to her as pudding multiple times 😭sleep deprivation i fear

i need to think of a short nickname for her 🥲