takes an angel to fly with a free bird

bourgeois is a slur against rich people and it is wealth shaming

And my man's last name 😂

Saints win ⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️ Who Dat!

whenever a young kid joins our staff at work im just like huh. guess im a father now.

these kids will be like “can you drive me home? i don’t have gas money but-” and im already pullin out my keys and am like. sweetheart, you are a child. i am not charging a child gas money.

i literally almost lunged across the counter to throw hands with some old hag who yelled at and insulted one of our 16 y/o girls but instead i threw her sandwich at her and told her to never fucking come back

old dudes will flirt with our young girls too and i’ll be like ay man this is a truck stop, normal customer service rules dont apply here. i can and will call the cops on you.

im the only manager that actively tells them to steal food because these are teenagers and they are HUNGRY

You are the only valid manager

DAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMN.

What the fuck do you mean “was”???

Wet baby

I’ll punch the next person that says pitbulls are dangerous

Look at that smile

They are like furry hippos

Hippos are one of the most violent and dangerous animals on earth.

Please don’t let the Oxford comma die. If you were apathetic about it before, I think this will help you understand why it is necessary.

On the other hand, these sentences are pure gold.

Oxford comma for the win

Oh, he’s good.

I don’t know whether he deserves an Oscar or a restraining order.

I die laughing at this every god damn time. The prayer hands are so fucking funny

The tongue thing is apparently universal to all eras.

I still need to know what dog this is

Holy shit.

I NEED THIS IN MY LIFE NOW

MOUSE

THE REAL LIFE CLIFFORD!

N O. Oh my God that is so cute

This is perfection