leafydinosaur

bios are important because they express who you are in a few words.

the quote in my bio is something original that i wrote, but it's inspired by something i read back in middle school. journey by joyce carol oates is a short story, and while it has various different meanings and interpretations, this is what it means to me:

taking a different route, even if it's harder or if you're completely alone, is sometimes more rewarding than taking the standardized direction.

pave your own path along the way instead of following in someone else's footsteps.

i hope my words explain what kind of person i am.

like i know autism is a spectrum, but he doesn't exactly exhibit anything "special" except his really interesting fascination with serial killers. bill says this himself that holden not being affected by all this (the gore and violence) and these people makes him the same as them. im thinking that holden is kinda like dexter in the same sense that they're both psychotic. one part of the show that really stood out to me is during the finale when holden and debbie break up, he literally just walks away. it's not exactly his character to make this whole huge thing about it but if you look back to the beginning of their relationship, i'd imagine he'd have some kind of deeper, more emotional response than just "ok lmk when i can get my stuff." also, the hug scene with ed and holden? now im assuming that his panic attack was caused by 1. the interview (the tape) 2. bill "betraying" him and 3. debbie, but could it also be that he's realizing that maybe he's not too different from ed? if you look back to the very first episode, it shows his apartment. the apartment is genuinely empty like only the bare necessities. bare spaces and simplicity are usually connected to someone who loves control, which we see in holden. he wears the same suit, he does things his way, and even the later conversations with debbie show us his personality. i haven't seen s2 yet, but i wouldn't be surprised if it was revealed that holden is one of them. could totally be that he's on the spectrum, but i think i'd be cool that he's one of the guys that the BSU is trying to study.

ps: why is holden the only one with extreme character development? bill remains bill, and we only see wendy after ep3 but she remains the same as well.

technically you can't really say "oh i'll love you up until we break up" (i mean you could but i doubt you'd last very long), but what happens after? i mean you promised your forever to someone, but now it's over, what's next?

you keep moving forward with this fake promise of "forever," reusing the same phrase over and over. the sacred words lose meaning the more you spread your "love," and what was once a phrase of adoration and devotion to one turns into a bland string of words.

haymitch's quote is drastically different from katniss's and peeta's games. haymitch stood by the idea that he will not preform for the capitol, will not give them a show - which is what they wanted.

although, over the years of mentoring kids, he realized the truth. the only way to "win" was to play by the game. it's not about survival, it's about preforming. haymitch sees this and encourages katniss to continue the whole star-crossed lovers act because he knows the truth. survival will only go so far, but providing a show is the only way back home.