// * falling star

He wished it could just be like the old days. He wished he didn’t give a fuck, that he could forget whatever passed between them, eat the hot dog, and find someone else to play mean spirited tricks on. Particularly when Leigh apologises; that should be enough, shouldn’t it? That’s what best friends did. Forgave each other.

It just wasn’t enough. Salem didn’t care about much, but he’d cared about Leigh, and he couldn’t help but view her disappearing act as a betrayal. He focused on the hot dog stand, and their lunch being prepared in it, because it was easier than looking Leigh in her uncommonly bright eyes. Salem swiped a hand across his face; because it was hot, he told himself. Hot enough that he’d forgone his usual leather jacket in favour of just a beaten up old band tshirt. He was at an uncharacteristic loss for words.

“Yeah. It doesn’t do a lot of good,” he said, jaw clenched. This was what he’d wanted: to talk to Leigh. But now, after so many years, they were talking, and he just didn’t know what to say. It was the first time in his life Salem hadn’t known exactly what to say. “I was fucking worried about you Leigh. Would it have killed you to just… just text me saying you didn’t feel up for talking, or something? Anything? You made me feel like an idiot, like I was some loser hanging onto his high school glory days trying desperately to get in touch with someone that just decided he wasn’t worth her time any more.”

It all just spilled out, just like that - the words came faster than his mind could process them, too fast for him to stop himself.

leigh had never tried crying in public. if she did, it was probably during ceremonies where tears were acceptable -- but never whilst she was standing in front of a goddamn hotdog stall with her eyes trained on the hot pan where the snack was being fried. god, she must look ridiculous -- all teary-eyed and red-nosed whilst watching a couple of hotdogs fry. why was she there again?

swallowing thickly, she looked away and wiped her tears as subtly as she could to avoid garnering more attention than they were already attracting. the hotdog dude was probably confused as hell -- here he was, just trying to make a living, and then a pair of strangers came by to have a fucking drama in front of him. life probably had grudges on him, and leigh wished she had the capacity to feel sorry for him -- not when she was already feeling too sorry for herself. did she even have the right to feel sorry for herself? when all of this was her fault in the first place?

“you were in paris when i called,” she said quietly, knowing it wasn’t really good enough. she knew. she really did. she was aware of her faults and she wished she could go back in time and handle her embarrassment better than she did, but it was too late for that. “i just thought --- i don’t know. i don’t know what i was thinking, salem.” she pursed her lips tightly and tried her hardest to smile when the man quickly wrapped up their order and awkwardly stated how much she had to pay. she made quick work of handing over the payment, with just enough for a tip, before turning to salem with a reluctant smile.

“maybe we can go somewhere else where we can talk,” she sighed wearily, lower lip trapped between her teeth. “actually talk.”

                a small laugh leaves her,   nodding at leigh’s question.   “  it is what they say,  ”   she affirms,   though there’s no bitterness in her voice.    jenny understands wanting to leave things behind.   she doesn’t know why leigh was so quick to do it,   she hasn’t asked,   but she assumes there are valid reasons.   jenny herself didn’t make an attempt to stay in touch,   but things were different for her.   she had a lot of reasons for creating the distance after the group fell through and she left feeling like it was her fault.

         “   college kind of does that,   though.   it’s just a brand new world,   nobody gives a shit there.   once you shed the dramatic teenager you were it makes things so much easier.   ” 

leigh merely sighs in agreement to everything jenny had said because -- well, what else is there to say? that is exactly what she had in mind, her reason for not turning back again on things she was very eager to leave in the past.  it was better to live in the present, to live so far away from the place where she wasn’t exactly needed by her family. for once, during college, she really felt needed by everyone around her -- not just a handful of students, some of which she wasn’t even close with.

“listen,” she starts quietly, lips pressing tightly for a brief second as she laces her fingers together on top of the railing. “i... about that night, at samuel’s. i do remember getting a little tipsy over a little bit of beer and, uh, i can’t quite remember what exactly i did after, you know, holding your hands. if i made you uncomfortable or anything...” she pauses, tongue poking against her lower lip. “i’m sorry.”

TJ was minding her business, trying to stay hydrated despite sweating like a pig, and only managed a grunt as she inhaled some of her water at the sudden pace increase. Leave it to Leigh to nearly start a fight on their first day at Coney. “What–” she had to pause to cough up the water. “What did you even do?” TJ looked back over her shoulder but they’d put some fair distance between themselves and Leigh’s unsuspecting victim. “Can’t take you anywhere, can we?”

“it wasn’t intentional!” leigh hissed as she pulled tj farther away from their previous spot. if she hadn’t been way too conscious about not acting like her high school self, she would have laughed. such scenario reminded her so much of when she and salem would pull pranks on people at school, whilst tj was just at the side, watching it all unfold. “i didn’t know he was there, okay? i was innocently skipping stones. now, let’s grab something to eat. i’m freaking starving, tee.”

Skylar nods in understanding to Leigh’s response, then looks back over the edge of their ferris wheel car for a moment before returning her gaze. “So what you’re saying is we should ride one of those next?” Skylar smiles, then, once she hears the last part of what Leigh has to say, it fades away a little and the girl sighs, tucking some hair behind her ear. “Sorry, it’s just a habit.” Saying sorry was something Skylar was so used to doing that she hadn’t even realized she’d done it just then as well. “Anyway though, this is nice.” Skylar looks up at the night sky. “The stars are bright tonight I see.” It was moments like these where Skylar’s hopeless romantic side could come out, but she’d never really hung out with Leigh alone like this, so it felt more like a… calming feeling. “I’ve never really been a morning person, it’s times like these that make me like night more.”

leigh arches an eyebrow as she settles back into her seat, arms crossing over her chest as one leg does the same over the other. “you don’t hear me saying no,” she replies with a knowing grin, feeling just a tad bit of excitement starting to run through her veins -- which quickly calms down as she looks outside the car again, taking in the dark sky and what little stars are visible no thanks to artificial light and pollution. still, it amazes leigh that skylar still finds beauty in what humans have obviously tainted. says a lot about the kind of person leigh is. “i prefer nights in provinces -- far away from the city. there, you can see more stars, it’s quiet, and you might even see the milky way if you’re lucky. just find the perfect spot where it’s so dark -- just make sure you’re safe, of course.”

though leigh was certainly teasing, jules did feel guilty that it had been so long - he liked leigh and he knew she deserved better. he noted her body language and shrugged off his denim jacket, silently offering it to her as they weaved their way down onto the boardwalk. his chest squeezed a little at the old nickname, catching the hesitation in her voice. “it feels like so long ago,” he deflected a little, “i keep remembering things that i said or did and i can’t imagine why i ever did them. we’ve all grown up so much.” quiet for a couple of steps. “i’ve been okay,” he shrugged, sending leigh an apologetic glance. he was aware it was a rather pathetic answer. “have you been okay? are things… alright?” 

leigh murmured soft gratitude when julian handed over his jacket for her comfort -- seemed like chivalry wasn’t dead yet, after all. whilst wrapping the jacket around her body, leigh sighed quietly and tried not to get too paranoid about the questions he was throwing her. he was just concerned, right? just like her, he’d probably been so out of the loop since high school, and she honestly couldn’t blame him. he’d done the same. she got caught in the colorful world of college and never looked back again -- and now, they’re there. again. “things have been fine,” she replied curtly, eyes briefly lifting up to his. “are you... did your parents--- i mean,” she sighed again. “please tell me my parents didn’t tell everybody about it. honestly, that would be so out of character of them. reputation is what they’re all about, jules.”

kelley blinked, tossing a glance over her shoulder and then at the guy who appeared to be glaring at her, even though she’d been minding her own business trying to figure out how to wakeboard on a slightly bum knee. she nearly broke an ankle at the quick change of direction, but steadied herself, and found herself following along at the promise of food. “i don’t know what just happened,” she said, adjusting her sunglasses and pausing only to dump the wakeboard near the mess of the group’s things on the beach. “but if you wanna buy me lunch, i don’t really care.”

“you don’t have to know what happened, buddy,” she patted kelley’s shoulder a few times as she continued dragging her to the nearest snack stall, letting out a huge sigh of relief once they’re well out of the man’s sight. leigh hoped they were, anyway. “right, well, i think it’s a long time coming, yeah? last time we talked, we were playing beer pong and you told me to get laid. you’ll be disappointed to know that i haven’t done that at all.” she made a face, the corners of her mouth pulling down a bit. “anyway, what would you like? footlong? just a regular one? a huge one? jumbo? place your order. like i said, my treat.”

“Do seagulls make nests? I genuinely can’t picture it. Don’t they just sleep on the water, like ducks?” The thought struck him. “Wait, do ducks make nests? Do I know nothing about birds, at all? Maybe I just fear what I don’t understand…” He glanced at her. “You like my hair—don’t even pretend. And we’d be lost if I cut it, you’d never find me in the crowds. Just another unremarkable white dude, forever adrift in a sea of bland tourists, lost on Coney freaking Island.”

“yes, they do make nests. i think. i don’t know, but whatever version of the nest they have, they make it -- and i’m sure it looks like your hair. if they sleep on the water, they’ll most probably get eaten by seals or sharks or whatever predators lurk in the water.” she took a moment to think about ducks -- ducks of all things -- then shook her head. “i’m not sure if they make a nest... maybe they dig... i don’t know.” she shrugged, and then smiled as she reached up and combed her fingers through his hair, effectively messing it up so most of his hair was covering his forehead. “i agree. don’t want you getting lost though. i don’t want to have to deal with a crying man on my shoulder, but i’d be open to trying some of the rides. you wanna come with?”

Shit was… complicated. Everything was complicated, particularly with Leigh. Salem was pissed, because she’d reached out and reconnected when she was having a hard time, and then she’d just ghosted him. His first friend, his best friend, had ignored all his texts and emails saying he was worried about her. Was it a mature response to just avoid Leigh, now they were back together? No. But Salem had never claimed to be mature. He’d done a pretty good job of pretending she didn’t exist, but his attention was piqued when they pulled roommates out of a hat. Of course Leigh was going to be sharing with Jenny. That was just god damn typical, just like him getting roomed with Evie was god damn typical. He wasn’t petty enough to ask if anyone wanted to swap with him, but he thought about it.

Still, whatever, none of his business. If Leigh wanted to dive headfirst back into all that drama, that was her call. Salem wasn’t going to get involved. He was going to stand here with his plastic cup of white wine and pretend he hadn’t noticed that Leigh was only feet away from him. It was a great plan, until she just about KOs some innocent swimmer with a marble and grabs Salem to shield her. “Leigh,” Salem said, unsure if he was annoyed or pleased. “You never learn. If you’d have played it cool he wouldn’t have known it was you, you know. Grabbing a human shield, on the other hand, makes you look incredibly suspicious. Cops are gonna be knocking on our doors tonight asking about an attempted murder, and you’re going to take me down with you. I won’t be your accomplice.”

leigh didn’t hide her shame as soon as she realized that it had been salem whom she grabbed among the crowd to hide her from her unintended crime. if she was looking, she would have grabbed someone else --- someone who didn’t have good reasons to not want her around, but it was too late and she’d already offered lunch, so. leigh could only sigh as she loosened her hold around salem’s arm, sheepishly gathering her hands behind her back as she stopped them both by the nearest hotdog stand. “i’ve never been that great at pretending, okay?” and it was true. whatever facade people probably thought she wore back in high school once they found out about whatever happened six years ago wasn’t there. she’d truly been an oblivious idiot. “besides, there are so many people around here. i’m sure he’s not gonna press charges or whatever. i wasn’t that obvious, trust me.”

she placed an order once the line was clear, lips still pursed as she pondered over the appropriate words to say to salem. it’d been six years since the night she called him in distress, not knowing that he was far away from home -- so far away that it just wasn’t possible for him to go wherever she was to comfort her -- and truly, that’d been the root cause of her embarrassment. “salem,” she began, swallowing tightly as she shifted a little closer to him, just to make sure he won’t make a run for it once their order was done. “i’m sorry for dismissing your calls after... after that night. whatever reasons i had weren’t good enough as excuses so... yeah, i’m sorry. i know it doesn’t do a lot.”

             the way her body lends itself to leigh’s touch can only be chalked up to friendship’s enduring nature.   she didn’t stay in contact with leigh after graduation,   but the other girl hugged her so often during their high school years that it almost feels like her body is saying hey,  it’s good to see you again,   when leigh has her arms around her.

     “   i know,   time sure moves in a funny way,  ”    jenny smiles,   taking one last drag of her cigarette before she puts it out against the railing.   “  and here i was,  ”   she sighs,   “  thinking that i’d never see you again.   ” 

the cigarette wedged between jenny’s fingers is another indication of just how long it’s been since she last had contact with her. she hadn’t even seen it coming -- jenny, the sweet girl from high school, smoking. leigh holds no judgment, of course, but it’s just... surreal, almost. 

“yeah, well,” leigh shrugs nonchalantly -- or tries to, at least -- as she leans on the railings beside jenny, reciprocating the smile despite how little it is. “never thought i’d end up seeing all of you again. college happened and i just...” she trails off, unsure which word to use to describe her disappearing act. in the last attempt at humor, she chuckles and mutters softly, “... ghosted you all. isn’t that what kids say these days?”

“oh, shit!” leigh grabs the nearest person to her and pulls them in front of her, using them as her human shield. “cover me. fuck! is he looking at our direction?” probably yes, probably no -- whatever the answer is, leigh doesn’t risk staying any longer. she tugs on their arm and rushes away from the spot. “come on. let’s grab some hotdogs. my treat.”

“so, roommates.” it is all she can really think of saying as she approaches jenny from behind whilst they’re outside the balcony of their shared room -- such a common move from her, very high school of her, really, but old habits die hard, don’t they? there’s an overwhelming itch to wrap her arms around jenny’s waist, but she isn’t entirely sure if they’re back to that level of friendship, so she wrapped her arms around her own torso instead, lips pursed slightly in a smile. “who would have thought? seems like it was just yesterday when we were having sleepovers at your not-so-humble abode.”