The Wait For The Green

It's as if every time I come here to write I have recently had some sort of life-changing experience or epiphany. In fact, that is exactly what is happening now. However, this time, things are a bit different. In contrast to my past posts on life-changing moments which at the time seemed to be of a more major perspective; this current life realization has honestly touched my soul in ways that I had previously only imagined. 

The future is here. 

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As a child growing up certain moments stood out to me that would eventually shape the man I am today. At a younger age I could not understand the meaning behind these moments but deep down inside my mind, certain neurons and other neurological signals were firing that made these moments feel different. 

It all started with the number 24; the only 24 that ever mattered to me was printed on the side of Jeff Gordons race car. 

My first memory of motorsports was during a Sunday broadcast of NASCAR racing. At the time, I knew nothing about racing or cars. In fact, all of this stemmed from an incident that occurred just a week before. 

Prior to that Sundays race in 1994 family was visiting from out of town. Being an only child it was always exciting to have other children visit so that I could have a chance to play and socialize as all kids have the need to. During that weekend, three of my girl cousins who were at least four years older than me came to visit. At first, it was great but things changed in a hurry.

The girls went and grabbed a large blue backpack. I was excited because I knew right away they had brought toys! They reached into that bag and pulled out Barbie after Barbie. It was an endless parade of doll after doll with seemingly dressed in more and more pink. Most boys my age would have shied away from knowing they were “girl toys”. But remember I had been an only child and to me a toy was a toy regardless of the color. I quickly jumped in and grabbed a doll and began playing with it like the rest of the girls were. 

This didn’t sit too well with one of them who immediately took the doll away and scolded me for touching a girl's toy. “Barbies are for girls you shouldn't be playing with them”.  I was crushed...

Not because I was caught playing with a girls toy but rather the anticipation of playing with other children was taken away by the same individuals who I was excited to see regardless of the toys they had.  I remember feeling so alone and wanting to cry. I walked away with my head lowered the same way a punished dog walks with its tail between its legs. I walked looking down at the grey brick floor from the garden and made my way to the porch where I just flopped heart broken and feeling distant and alone. To make matters worse, this was the first year I had been living in the United States recently after my parents divorce. Disappointment and change were just a common occurrence for me.   And then it happened. My life would forever change based on one moment.  Feeling like the only child in the world I remember looking in front of where I had flopped and saw it. This blue transformer robot in the shape of a car toy. Being the type of child I was I had a photographic memory of all of my toys and this toy was in fact not mine which sparked my curiosity even more. I tried my hardest to make the car transform into the robot but for whatever reason it would not. I then decided to just play with the car while the untransformed robots face was positioned underneath the car facing down at the ground almost exactly how I had walked a few moments before. It was at this moment that I stopped feeling alone and happiness took over my body.  However, while I had found this new happiness and freedom from a lonely soul I couldn't help but overhear one of the girls questioning whether they had been mean to me for pushing me away. In response to her, the two other girls shouted that boys shouldn't play with girls and their toys. Anger and spite took over my thoughts as I had found not new playmates but instead new rivals that I had to compete with. Feeling betrayed I decided to ignore them at all costs.  I heard them talking amongst their wretched voices if they should check up on me or not. 

They called my name, “Hector! Hector!”.

I did not give them the satisfaction of  a response.  I continued to play with the only thing that was keeping me happy despite my intentions to ignore the catty girls. As I continued to play I felt a shadow creep up on me. It was one of the girls. She called my name two more times and with the feeling of betrayal, sticking to my metaphoric guns I ignored her drawing a line in the sand and forever shaping my mindset. It was me against the world and no matter what I would win. After the second failed attempt to get my attention she left. Went back to the rest of their gang and told them that I was fine; she explained I had found a toy and was playing by myself.

She was wrong.

I was not fine; I was great! I felt like a winner for I had set out to ignore them and that is what I did. It was the first moment I had experienced the pleasure that came with winning and being independent. I no longer needed other people or children to not feel lonely or isolated. I could find that happiness from within and it was not only genuine but it was so much better than the feeling I had ever gotten while playing with other children. Because of this feeling I became attached to not just that car but all cars. These were the objects that used to be objects but were now representations of my soul and independence. They were no longer inanimate objects but instead had feelings and souls of their own. With this backstory fresh in your mind, we fast forward to the following week on that legendary Sunday. Being a Sunday I clearly knew there were no cartoons on TV yet I aimlessly flipped from channel to channel looking for something to watch. Then it happened; I found NASCAR. Or maybe it found me. With this attachment to cars freshly engraved in my heart, it was an experience to see them with all these colors and paint schemes. Each one was loud and brash with the perfect amount of eff you bestowed in their character which is something I had experience the week before as well.  Being a child of a divorce, without a father to guide me through the overwhelming world of automotive racing, I made one of the most important decisions of my life. Somehow knowing there had to be winner, I decided to become a supporter of whatever car ended up winning that race. Fate heard my cries and she felt my pain as a child. And for all the suffering and overcoming of challenges as a lonely only child; she rewarded me with the number 24 race car. 

This love affair would tie me for the rest of my life! The driver of that race car was a young Jeff Gordon whose career was about to take off just as my passion would.

With so many people turning their backs on me at such a young age I had to grow up faster than other children. I decided to undo the pain I had experience the only way I knew how at that young age. I decided to not do the things that caused me pain and since that fateful day in 94′ I became a devoted supporter to that #24 Dupont Chevy. It was more than just another racecar but instead the key to my heart.  Every Sunday I religiously watched that Dupont Chevy make left turns at 180mph. Being raised a Catholic and living with older grandparents we went to church once in a while on Sundays. However, Sundays were taken over by NASCAR racing almost as if my religion had given me a pass to seek the lord in another light.  For the next twenty, that's right TWENTY years, I was a Jeff Gordon fan first and foremost. A man who raised me solely on Sundays, I watched his enthusiasm as well as his anger. I emulated the man that drove my passion and continued that devotion for all those years.

As I grew older and became more aware about life I knew that his career would not go on forever. As a kid, it had never crossed my mind but as a teenager I knew it could end in an instant. This moment became much more of a reality when I watched The Intimidator, Dale Earnhardt Senior die during a race. It was at that moment that I appreciated not only the sport and every other driver in a much grander light; but also appreciated the time I had spiritually spent with the 24 watching him race on Sundays.  While growing up I had responsibilities that included being a full-time student and well being alive. This meant I had other priorities than just watching Jeff Gordon race on Sundays and though I admit I missed many of his races, the times I did watch I was glued to the screen while screaming obscenities at the other drivers that got in his way. I knew the day would come when he would retire but never put a timetable to it. *************************************************************************** The above sentence is the premise to this rather lengthy blog post.  I knew the day would come but imagined it to be many years away. Then it happened. Two years ago, the legendary Jeff Gordon announced his retirement. Watching the man race for 20 years I always wanted to see him race in real life but always thought I had more time considering I was young and did not have a job. When he announced his retirement I admittedly panicked. How could I not see my idol race before he retired? And so I bought tickets for his next race in California and crossed off his name off the bucket list I did not know I had. Last year I saw him race and I could not be more excited to see him lead in a race. Though he did not win, seeing him in front was symbolic of our challenges that life had given us.  With all of the above in mind, understand Jeff Gordon was not my only idol growing up. With my mom being a UCLA student I began to follow UCLA football and though they were not very good, my devotion to that organization was impacted by my promise to be a devoted Jeff Gordon fan. You see, when I idolize a person or an organization I take it to heart to forever be in their debt for all the memories they gave me.  This leads me to my next point. Around the early 2000′s for a similar reason to that of Jeff Gordon winning, I became a fan of the New England Patriots football team. I gambled on a young team both metaphorically and literally. In middle school, I began to gamble and my team of choice was the Patriots. Why you ask? Because they won me money and never let me down. The reason for my love of the Patriots goes way past that but I will not get into the backstory of that in this post; just trust me on my passion for that team. Watching the Patriots play also on Sundays, a rivalry for the ages had begun. Brady vs Manning. For some strange reason, Peyton Manning had become a thorn in Tom Brady and the Patriots side from day 1. Yet I could not hate that man as I hated other rival quarterbacks of the time.  The way Peyton Manning presented himself to the media and showed mutual respect for my team I began to show admiration for that man. Not as much as Tom Brady of course but it was enough to become a fan of Peyton. Peyton Manning vs Tom Brady games never disappointed me. The intense rivalry and passion for the game was evident in the death stares the two shared post games. These men loved their sport as much as Jeff Gordon loved his and I respected that. Recently, in fact just today 3/6/2016 Peyton Manning announced his retirement. Hating the fact that he won with the hated Denver Donkeys, I mean Broncos; everyone saw his retirement coming. However, even though we all saw it and most of us (besides me) wanted him to retire, it's a strange feeling knowing its done. The game of football will no longer be the same. Even though the Patriots, Tom Brady, and Bill Bellichick are still intact, there will forever be a hole in the Patriots vs Peyton rivalry. **********************************************************************

Finally, I have reached the conclusion and the real reason for this post. It was important to set up my backstory to understand how much all of these changes have affected me. Growing up watching three of my legendary idols: Jeff Gordon, Tom Brady( and Bellichick as the coach), and Peyton Manning, I always knew that one day the magic of their careers would end. I knew eventually I would have to come to grips with that reality but I never knew how I would feel. After Jeff Gordon retired, it still hadn't dawned on me the real significance of his announcement. It wasn't until today when Peyton announced his retirement that it hit me.  The future I once wished wouldn’t come had arrived. I am now living in a different world. Completely different from the last 20 years of my life where two of the men I looked up to are or have already retired. I am now down to Tom Brady and Bill Bellichick. Even though they are two people I consider them joined at the hip since they have played and coached together all these years. None the less, the first chapter of my life is closing. It saddens me to know it will completely close in a minimum of three years considering when Brady and Bill walk away as well. The moment when you realize that your old life is ending and a new one is upon you is a damn scary feeling. I am not the same person I was growing up but that doesn't mean the essence of what I learned has vanished.  Essentially I am currently feeling what it's like to not only grow older but to actively grow up and understand how it is I arrived at this point.  I have learned so much growing up. So much so that one blog post can't even begin to touch on my life experiences. But the scary part is actively knowing what is going on and having a hard time grasping the concept.  I not only fear this change but also welcome it with open arms as a new chapter of my life is set to begin. *****************************************************************************

Author Notes

As some of you may know I am a rather shy individual. I don't like to bring too much attention to myself and prefer to keep to myself. Sometimes people may confuse me with being distant but instead, I prefer to keep close thoughts and emotions to myself. Though this is true, I have sometimes publically rant on certain subjects while on social media. Most of the time its because whatever my rant was about it was some passionate issue that I took a heavy stance on.  For the most part, I keep to myself. However, I recently took a personality test and found out I am an introverted feeling individual. All this means is I have strong feelings about life and tend to keep to myself while I reflect on my thoughts heavily. As I researched more about my personality type I was amazed how much of this personality explains a lot of my behaviors growing up and my attachment and devotion to certain figures as described above.  One downside to my personality is how I come off to other individuals. Though I could honestly care less about what other individuals think about me (and believe me there isn't that much room to care less) I have figured out that to be a healthy introvert I need to learn how to balance myself out with extroverted qualities. One quality that stuck out to me the most was to begin to be more publically open about my thoughts and feelings. I am very comfortable with these thoughts and feelings in my mind but learning how to express them is just as important.  However, if I am to be completely honest this post was much more about my tribute to the individuals I respected as their careers have or are ending, but also to begin to write again.  I like writing, I’m just lazy. But once again to be quite frank and honest, a part of me also knows how important it is to provide a clearer window into who I really am. This strategy will not only help my self-growth but help others see me in a different light. 

Wow it seems as if every couple months I am on here talking about how I am going to get my life out of neutral and progress with my lifes plan. And well, here I am again. This time my inspiration came after reading the book, "Who moved my cheese" by Doctor Spencer Johnson. The story was a reminder to me that I can not be stuck in a cheese less room and I need to be out there looking for my cheese. In other words I can not sit around and be bummed about how life sucks but rather do something productive with my time. Even if I cant find a job right now that doesnt mean I have to wake up late and be a bum. I should be working out and getting in shape because being a race car driver is a demanding career and I can not be unfit to drive a car at 200mph. Tomorrow morning I am going to wake up early and do some garden work and then work out. I need to stop letting myself get to this place of nothingness and I need to remind myself that there are still small things I can do to achieve my goals. I dont always have to wait for big things but just make the little stuff count. I always say this but I plan to begin blogging again but this time I plan on at least doing 1 post a week and increasing posts as I build a new routine for myself. 

Recently for my Masters LIBR 203 class I had to take an assessment test that gives me an idea if I am ready to take online courses. As it turns out I am ready to be an online student based on my results. However the assessment test was just a paper test and we really wont be able to have a definitive answer until I get deeper into the program. The main reason is because some questions were simply seeking to see the connectivity and power of the computers I was using. However some questions referred to study habits and time management. I had to admit I tend to procrastinate a bit but I always get my work done. Though this time I need to improve my time management because there is no lecture to attend to catch up. This is basically a test to see if I can keep up with school work on my own terms. Some of the personal skills that are needed to succeed in an online course are in fact having the ability to manage your time in a way that allows a student to manage coursework while being able to live a life that may include work or a family. Another important skill is knowing how to pace yourself when it comes to the massive amounts of reading a person will do. The main reason for this is because a book reflects light to your eyes which is far less irritating than a computer that emits light and can strain your eyes if you work too many long hours.

 After the assessment test was completed I then had to watch two videos by Dr. Haycock and Enid Irwin who discussed some key components to online classes and the importance of online teams. The videos themselves were quite long for the info that was given. The reason I say this is because they basically explained the obvious keys to a successful online team which were basically how teams help individuals collaborate to refine their projects and assignments for better results. Even though the information was repetitive it in fact was correct. The most important advice that both the presenters gave was the need for the teams to set precise goals and deadlines. This bit of advice could have helped me in past projects because in the past my teams have never set clear goals to meet since we kinda just made them up as we went along. The creation of clear goals in the beginning of the project may have led to much smoother group work which could have helped us finish earlier giving us more time to edit our work more. This could have been useful for catching small mistakes such as grammar issues or just to make the presentation look nicer. There is no one example of this in my past work with group projects just because they have all gone the same way, that was working and rushing to meet a deadline rather than finishing the project early. For some reason team members of groups dont like working with others and therefor leave important work for a leader to do or waiting to the last minute to complete the work. I myself have always been on time with completing my work but more often than not others late work have caused me to be backed up because I needed to have their completed work handed to me in order for me to complete my part of the group project. Like Dr. haycock states in his video, most of the problems arise during the forming stage where team members are hesitant to get started working. The solution to this is to have a strong team leader that can control the team and create realistic goals for the team but this strong leader isnt always in every team which is why the forming stage tends to prolong work in most groups. I myself have tried to take control of teams in the past but the problem isnt with my skills as being a leader but more so the difficulty of motivating those team members who dont really care about the work early on. This is more of a lack of motivation with other members.

Enid Irwin in the power point presentation also suggests that most students lack motivation and that it is important to motivate others. My only concern with this is that it may be somewhat difficult to motivate those who are hundreds of miles away and the willingness of the individual to be motivated is just as important as other members motivating him or her. This however may just be the most crucial element of group work in the Masters program since our group members may actually be hundreds of miles away. The ability to motivate others who are far away may come along way in this Masters program. For example by motivating a team member who is in a different time zone to get up a little earlier in the day so that we can have collaborate meetings before the rest of the group has to go to work can serve as the tipping point between sharing information more efficiently and rarely sharing any information due to complicated schedules. According to Irwin a potential problem that could arise from a lack of motivation is a distrust in teamwork. When there isnt trust among teammates there is a lack of enthusiasm and students will not grasp the concepts of the project. I have seen this in the past where the lack of motivation of some group members had forced me and two other group members to pick up the slack of the fourth team member in order to complete our work. The only good thing about this was that our teacher noticed that we were constantly presenting to the class our updates of our project and the fourth member used to miss these events which led the teacher to believe we were doing more work. The teacher ended up giving us more points and failing the other student. This wasnt our intention at all but it was difficult to motivate the member who used to brag about partying every night and always skipped class. This created a distrust which forced the remaining members to work harder just to meet minimum goals.

This post is because as apart of my online masters in library science class I had to either create a new blog or use and old blog in order to show my ability to be apart of the blog world. The purpose is to show how the world of library and information sciences is changing along with the new more digital world we all live in today. In fact this class with its digital emphasis points out some of the collective points I have already made on my blog including the post about technology and how its ever changing. I now sit here writing this post while listening to movie score music on Pandora internet radio which is ever so resembles my 4 years at the UCR. I had some of my best moments late at night listening to this type of music and hammering out 20pg papers on the night they were due. I have to say I am a bit scared coming back to school while being off for two years but I feel a bit more at ease knowing that the rhythm in which I do things hasn't been all that lost.

For the past what has seem ages to me I have been in what Dr. Seus calls, the waiting place". This is a place in which an individual is simply waiting for something whether it be for a fish to bite your hook to waiting for time to slowly pass you by. In my personal experience I have been in the waiting place simply because I have been searching to find my niche in life. However I should rephrase my previous statement by stating that I have found my niche and it is in the realm of car racing. The other niche I was speaking of refers to the one that helps me get to my ultimate goal. Essentially I have come to realize that car racing will not happen for me until I have an established life first with a sort of temporary career. I once believed I would attain that career by getting a Masters in Public policy but shortly after my rejection from both UCLA and Pepperdine universities I realized that it was for the better that I did not commit to a degree that I would not be happy with. The problem with receiving those degrees was that it would cost me over 60 thousand dollars to achieve and I would then have to focus a good 10 years of my life to resort to paying it off by working in public policy. Now why would I go into a degree that I would not devote my entire life to? I asked myself that same question and I then decided to take time off from school and get a job just to do something with my life. Well as it turns out there are no jobs on the market right now. I was swept into a mild depression. Not fully because I always knew employers would not risk hiring a recent college graduate without any work experience but I was still saddened that the degree I worked so hard to obtain the last 4 years meant absolutely nothing to employers. 

Later that year I found a couple job openings for library assistants at UCR, UCI, and other local libraries. I was excited to apply and so I did but sadly couldn't land any of those jobs. In my frantic search for more library jobs I found a couple at UCI but they were only for students enrolled in Masters of Library Science programs at the University level. It then hit me! I could go back to school and get a degree in Library Science which would use my previous degree being in U.S History, incorporate my love for information and research, and best of all not be a demanding career path that would distract me from my ultimate goal of racing cars on the worlds grandest stages.

Now a lot of people may think well why didnt you just go race out of college? The simple answer to that is I am not stupid. Becoming a racing driver will take years and years to master let alone acquire the funds to be able to attend racing school which costs 5,000 dollars for only 3 days! I need to have a stable career path now that can give me a stable income to allow me to race my own personal cars and attend prestige racing schools. I have thought about this long and hard and its simply not just about the money but having an education is the best sort of backup career in case I do make it into racing and one day break a leg and lose it. In that scenario I will still have two degrees to fall back on and be able to continue to work. 

After figuring everything out I looked into Masters programs for Library science and to my surprise there were only two in California, UCLA, and San Jose State. The other closest school was at the University of Arizona. Originally i planned to go out of state but by doing so I would have to pay more and be wasting my time by not having a job and being a full time student. I then decided to go to San Jose State because they offered an online only program which allowed me to do work at my own pace here at home in Southern California and it would cost a fraction of the cost than going out of state. 

Since I missed the deadline for Fall I had to wait an extra 4 months until august just so I can apply. I am now happy to say after months of waiting I have applied to the San Jose State as of today and hope an acceptance letter may come soon in the mail in order to get my life moving and follow my true dream of becoming a famous race car driver.

-HYLA

IDK.....

(I Don't Know!)

That's honestly the case. I really don't know how to act or react to social media. In one corner i LOVE it because it relays information in the most efficient way but on the other hand I HATE it because of how people abuse it!

That's honestly how I feel about social media.  I really don't know how to react to it because I am torn in both directions. I suppose the only curse I have in this life is my ability to be fair. 

Well how does that work?  If you are questioning the way i am able to love and hate, well you are not alone because  I feel the same way. I believe I have a rare ability to be able to put myself in two places at once. In other words I can always see two sides of clashing matters even though I may favor one side over the other. 

Some people may say that I am clearly bias to one side over the other which is completely true! The defining difference however is that I am willing to give the opposing side a chance to effectively change my mind. With that I am able to say that I clearly see both sides to a problem. 

The main reason is because if I am able to lean to one side over another yet still be able to give that opposing side a chance to win me over, then I am not as bias as I think I am.

What I have stated before is 100% true and it lays the foundation for my next argument about social media. Although I am still torn, my heart still leads me in one direction over another. 

I absolutely HATE (yes in caps) social media! In every way my "friends" along with the rest of the world abuse the powers of social media.  These people abuse social media in ways that just annoy me. These people like to use social media as an outlet to seek attention and gain popularity. How you say? Well I am sure you know. I am certain you know many friends on Facebook ( which is where I re-post my blog)  that like to hash tag their posts  many times so that everyone can see what they would like the world to know. Well to a certain degree that is fine but my problem lies with those who abuse the power of social media in order to reach a means of popularity. Many may argue that, that is in  fact the reason why social media was created but I argue against that. I believe social media and such web sites such as facebook, twitter, tumbler and etc, were created in order for the responsible user to relay important information to the rest of the world. 

This does not include photos on instagram about what you made for lunch today, or what random restaurant made you a common meal today. I personally ( and believe most people agree) believe that most people DO NOT CARE what you ate for lunch today at 11:45 am and DO NOT WISH to see a picture of your bowl of cereal! 

My main point is to argue that social media was created with a purpose to spread relevant information and not about what you had for lunch today or how the person sitting next to you in class smells like. 

Then again who am I to say what social media may or may not be used like if after all I did not create it. But I believe everyone in social media has a responsibility to spread valuable information and not stupid information that causes drama. In which case you are just using up valuable memory space in the virtual world (unless your job entitles you to seek the vulnerability in people which includes the vast world of advertisement). 

However, as I embark in a new journey in which I seek an educational Masters in Library and Information Science I have come across a bridge which questions my belief about how evil social media is. This new degree tells me that no matter what the source is, information is information and I have to use it in order to help the community which I serve.

Yet in some ways I wan to believe in social media because as my aunt says it, " 95% of the world abuses social media, but if you can find 5% who use it properly and give you something you would have not been exposed to, well is that not the point of social media?" She is in fact right and even though I had a bias to get into such accounts as twitter I now believe humanity is worth giving a shot with social media as it has give me a chance to live.

@# Living. # Social Media, # Time for a change

( I may still be using them wrong but I promise you (humanity) I will learn social media and use it responsibly, and I hope you do as well.

I could say I don't know where to begin when giving my thoughts about Microsofts new Xbox product but that would be a lie. There were many great new aspects about the device itself but what I believe was Microsofts best move was in how they will sell the product. Now some of you may be thinking, well its a gaming system right so how hard can it be to list specs? Well thats just the thing. Microsoft isnt selling you a gaming console, no, they are selling you an all in one media center. This includes music, movies/video, and games. Now I will say I am bias to Microsoft just because I have had their products since the Xbox 360 Elite, however prior to that I had the playstation 1 and 2. Even with my bias I do not have to work so hard to defend the Xbox as the unveiling video presented by Xbox this morning is more than enough to prove a strong case for its product. However, I will make one defense for the company, earlier this morning on a couple forums many Playstation fan boys stated that the PS4 started its presentation with gaming first and foremost. That is true but if you think about it closely the Xbox and Playstation products have always been close enough to each other to be able to compete in the gaming department which makes gamers very happy. However hard core gamers are the minority in a world population that cares more about entertainment as a whole. With that being said I believe the move to make entertainment the first new aspect of the Xbox One was a brilliant move by the sales department of Microsoft because now they are targeting the majority of the world while still being able to keep up with Playstations focus on gaming. And with more money in their pockets comes better innovation.

Take for example the brand new features of Kinect. It allows you to syncronize all devices including tablets, phones and your xbox and it is responsible for maintaining such a quick sync that commands can asked in split second. No more waiting for a new program to work. Along with kinect the numerous partnerships with companies such as EA games, the NFL, CBS, the list goes on and on. This expansion into entertainment allows the Xbox one to take a clear advantage over its competitor and yet can still perform at the same level as the PS4. This is indeed an all in one media center complete with kinect, blue ray, gaming, and now live TV! Now clearly there will be those who say PS4 for life and they have a right to but my main point in this article is to show how Xbox didnt win in just the gaming compartment but they took the world by storm leading the way for new innovation in technology.

A quick criticism of the Xbox One is from every camera angle (which were substantially zoomed out) it appeared that the Xbox One is in kind words, HUGE! I really hope you can place it in a vertical mode because my desk space is limited as it is and having a large horizontal bulky machine may add to the clutter of real life. Xbox is clearly working on making their product clutter free but only in the virtual world with the incorporation of the Cloud. But lets face it it still takes up a rather LARGE space in REAL life.

Many people believe that art is in the eye of the beholder. This is indeed fact as art is an abstract concept that varies from person to person. Today I am going to talk about how I see art in the automotive world. Now this form of art that I am speaking of goes far beyond what people would first assume which would be how cool, hot, or sexy cars look. Now i do acknowledge that many cars do have this appeal which make them artsy but I am talking about the art of what makes the car run.

Now what could I possibly be talking about? How can an engine be art? Simply you just have to look hard enough and open your mind. Don't look at an engine as a metal piece that is generally loud and propels a car but look inside it see the engine for what it is, a perfectly executed dance among numerous moving parts. The way pistons are propelled up and down, the way valves open and close in a perfectly timed manner to release exhaust fumes and let in clean air. The way an engine block is carefully sculpted to the degree of millimeters the way a sculpture is crafted by his own artist. These are the things I see when i look at an engine. Now i beg of you for a second to look at this subject through my eyes or the eyes of other car enthusiasts and open your mind to the idea of an engine harnessing the power of fire to move your body and your soul. After all cars don't just get you from point A to point B but they get you there all while making a statement about who you are and what kind of car is under you. Now many of you may say well this isnt a topic of art but more of an engineering marvel right? Well yes that is also true. However when you buy a beautiful purse or amazing sunglasses did a person not make that product for you to enjoy and marvel in its own beauty? When you look at a beautiful sunset over looking the pacific ocean or what not do you not call it art and marvel in its endless perfection? Well just like mother nature is an artist the engineers and concept designers of cars are artists in their respective fields and there product is in fact these engine and drive-trains and suspension products that make up a balanced vehicle. Engines alone arent the only art in cars. As I mentioned in the last couple sentences other parts are art forms just as much as how the engine runs. For example, the cars suspension. Power isn't everything in a car because after all your car needs to be able to handle and control the power. Now most of you may never drive your car the way it was meant to be driven but still picture yourself driving on a windy mountain road with a convertible car with the top down. Imagine yourself going around each turn just a little bit faster and faster. Picture on the next corner you car loses a bit of traction, your steering wheel points the opposite direction of where your car is pointed but you are able to feel the suspension talk to you through that steering wheel telling you which part of the suspension is over worked. You then take that steering wheel and correct the steering and point the car straight, you hit the accelerator and you are off on your way to that next corner. Now did that suspension to make you feel something, did it not open your mind to the limits of a car, did it not teach you how to be a better driver? These things, the way that suspension was able to communicate with you even though it is not alive and make you feel it and be one with it, is that not art? Art is supposed to make you feel something right?

To sum up my very long and intimate point, art is something that is special and true to the eye of the beholder, but just because you dont see someone elses point of view that doesnt mean its not art or its ugly. Simply said I wrote this blog to show my readers that something that you may not take to be art is art for me in which case it is still art. I plead to society and to the world to have a more open mind and learn to respect everything equally because your opinion is not final and it is not the word of nature. The world does not revolve around you and therefor we need to learn to live together and respect each others beliefs and opinions even if we may disagree because to that other person something as simple as a car engine may mean something completely different. And just because you may disagree that doesnt make it true to everyone else. Have an open mind to everything and respect others and it will come back to you.

In recent years I have had a strong opinion about how music is more than just a means of entertainment but more so about the power that it holds over each individual listener. To some my opinion my be fairly obvious because its is not so far fetched to believe music as being so powerful. In fact many know how music in films during World War II was used as a tool to promote propaganda for countries. But aside from music being used as a means to brainwash civilians I am referring to the power and certain feeling music makes listeners feel.      In my case music has transitioned from a form of plain and simple entertainment to an art form. Music for me has become a means of expressing my emotions, thoughts, and passion. In instances when I feel things that I just cannot express on my own due to just being overwhelmed or tired with my situation I have found that channeling those emotions into themed songs has helped me in ways that I never experienced back when music was simply entertainment for me. What I mean by themed is simply matching genres of songs with my emotions, for example if I am angry I would seek out certain songs that feed that anger. Now by choosing to "feed" that emotion some people may find that to be the wrong direction as "feeding" the emotion may cause a backlash (aside from happy music). This could be true to a certain extent for example by listening to angry music one might get angrier. In fact I too have become angrier or sadder by using this method of "therapy" as one could call it. However in my situation I sort of play chicken with my emotions almost as if I am attacking a caged lion. By channeling my emotions into music that fits the tone I then over amplify my emotions causing me after a while to just relax and really pay attention to the music.     By using this form of therapy I have been reborn into the music world. Now music has a higher purpose of allowing me to express my emotions. With music now having more of a significant impact on me I now listen to the lyrical truth that music has. I can now feel the song and relate to the artist if I am able to connect using my emotions. Now I myself have never had to "pop a cap in someones ass" but by connecting to the artist I am able to understand more of his or her position and life. Now this does not mean at all I will 100% be able to relate to the artist but more so it allows me to open my mind and empathize with the artist. Taking for example the song "What Its like" by Everlast of the good ol 1990's. This is usually my go to song when I feel sad, or just stuck in life. By choosing to listen to it when I am sad this allows me to connect with the artist who had poured his heart and emotions into this sad song. By doing so I can view life from a different point of view and allow myself to feel grateful that my life isn't as bad, and with that I would take the first step in a new direction.  In the song by Everlast one of the strongest moments for me comes right after the singer describes a homeless man begging for money outside a liquor store with shame in his eyes and a passer by tells him to get a job at which right after the singer says, " God forbid you ever have to live a mile in his shoes, because then you really might know what its like to sing the blues". This is repeated throughout the song and every time I hear it, it brings a tear to my eye for the reason that I then remember that this is an artist singing a song about the things he has seen in his life which bring me sadness to know that human beings of their own race, species, and own flesh can allow themselves to treat each other which such disrespect without even knowing background stories of those they decide to judge. This song has helped me in so many ways, it not only helped me appreciate my life much more just by knowing I could have it a lot worse, but it also allowed me to view every single person on an equal field. Now I was never racist before or judged people heavily but lets face it we all judge one another naturally. I still do now but before I finish that thought I now stop and ask myself if I really know the whole story of that persons life before a word leaves my lips. This has allowed me to have a much more open mind than I did before. When I was small I used to be afraid of homeless people because they appeared different. And in fact they were different but for not the same reasons I had thought. I had always assumed like everyone else that giving money to the homeless would mean they would just go out and buy alcohol or drugs which as a child put a misunderstood thing ( homeless) with a bad thing (drugs). However now i choose to look at the good in people and assume they will do the right thing. Now this is rarely the case but I cant help those who do not want to be helped but that doesnt mean I will ever stop trying to help.      Now I am not simply stating that this one song caused this massive transition in my life. It could have very well have been my History degree, music, and my family, but in reality it was all of those things that had finally come together and made me see a different side of life that I was once blinded too. With that I leave you with my opinion on how music has such great power and influence over our lives. However that is not to say every song will have this affect, lets face it most music especially in current times is produced and manufactured by machines to make a profit. But I plead to you the way some might tell you to stop and smell the roses, I plead to you to stop and actually listen to the lyrics of a song, it may change the way you look at life and that is a chance no one should ever pass up.

The first blog post is probably the hardest to write. It was for my original blog and it appears to be the same for this one. There is just something daunting about opening your heart, mind, and soul to share with the world waiting to see if it will be accepted or rejected. However if I had a fear of rejection I wouldn't have started a blog to begin with. And with that I begin my new life as a blogger. Like I stated in my description my blogs will stretch across many subjects and sometimes you will be intrigued and others you just wont care about what I write but once again I writing because I have the need to express myself through words and paragraphs and hopefully by doing so find some common ground with my friends and followers and see a window into others lives as well as my own.  I have always considered myself a good writer. I have know it since a young age but of course what makes me a great writer is not my ability to catch spelling errors or grammatical mistakes, I cant even catch ma own, but rather my creativity and passion to write because I want to as opposed to others telling me to. My family has always pushed me to become a writer and to write books because they know of my talents but I cant just do that. Well I can and it would be a rather good story or essay or whatever but for me to write with the most creative and passionate matters I have to be on good terms with myself. Meaning I have to clear my head and focus on writing as if at that time writing is the only reason for living. I cant think about problems in my life, what post I received on Facebook or who knows what else but for that length of time writing is it. 

I haven't written anything in many years mainly because the last 4 years of my life were at school and now I am currently unemployed and not going to school and have a billion thoughts good and bad running through my head and I feel the need to channel all that energy in order be at peace with myself. There are many things I can do instead of writing but most require money and with my tight budget writing essentially kills two birds with one stone, channeling my energy and fulfilling my need to write again.

Now that I am nearing the end of my first post I realized that I forgot the point of what I had written above and yet I feel rather good for having expressed whatever emotions I was feeling ten minutes ago when I started. The blog has already done wonders for my mind. 

In conclusion I would just like to remind my audience that this is my blog and it will always consist of my opinion. However I am not a close minded individual, if you wish to comment on what I write please feel free too and I encourage questions about my postings or questions about my opinions on subjects or current events that I have not yet touched on. On the contrary if you do not like what I post or hate how often I post please block me from your news feed or unfollow me as I would not wish my writing to be a burden on people.

To the start of something great, The Wait For The Green