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how to have realizations like yours, new modes of thought ?

A poem often asks us to dwell there, and it's unbearable, especially if you have no practice, if you don't read or if you don't go off by yourself and sit alone for a while. Even those of us who write, we're often rushing around. So this dwelling, not fully comprehending something instantly, is very difficult. Anything that pushes us into the depths of our being is very hard to bear. I find it hard to bear. Sometimes I open a book that's so beautiful I have to shut it because it hurts me. I can't stand it. It's like, Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! This is going to drive me into my own heart. A day or two days later I'm saying, All right, and I just surrender to it: Do it to me. Go ahead. I want it. I don't want it. I want it. I don't want it.