astronomy in reverse

“Kezia, are you truly giving me permission to end your fiancé’s life?” Merrick asked, surprised that she was so willing. “I truly have no issue with it, but I do not want this to be a we situation. Any punishment should fall directly on me.”

Her nerves were burning underneath her skin, a warning signal from her host that she forced herself to ignore. What are you thinking? A familiar voice hissed inside her head, louder than it normally was. “I’m giving you permission to help me end his life,” she said, stubbornly exaggerating ‘me’ in the sentence.

“It does bother me, Kezia.”

"Then... Then I'll let you do what you want to him," she said, her gaze flitting as she had began thinking of a plan. "We could do whatever we wanted to him. We could... We could get rid of him, even."

“I’m not sure what you’re getting at, Kezia. You truly don’t have to defend me to anyone, what they say about me does not bother me,” Merrick said, leaning in closer to make it easier for her. “I’m about as lifeless as they come. But thank you.”

"I do have to defend you, because I..." Her voice grew smaller as her throat tightened suddenly, a vengeful act from her host. "What Nolan did to me bothers you, doesn't it?"

“I’m not emotionally intelligent, Kezia. I’m not compassionate. I’m not clever. I’m intelligent and I do my job as needed,” the droid said, not acknowledging her stroking his cheek. He was too heated to truly care about anything else but that emotion.

"Yes, you are. Stars, you're frustrating, too," she let out a small huff as a result and brought his face closer. "Why do you think I defended you to him? Not because you're some lifeless security droid. Do you really believe I'm that easily persuaded?"

“I’m very far from one of a kind. I’m MH model, former security droid. I don’t have anything that makes me different, apart from my reassignment. You’d be content to find a very similar model otherwise.”

"That's a lie," she said softly, stroking his cheek despite the smaller voice inside her head pleading with her not to. "I know it is. You're... You're compassionate and clever... You're emotionally intelligent, Mer. The rest aren't."

“I cannot be physically hurt, no matter what happens to me,” the droid said, shaking his head. “I believe you are too worried over nothing. If I am wiped or destroyed, I am not the only MH model. You could get another droid almost exactly the same as me.”

"I don't want another droid, I want you," Kezia insisted, frowning deeply at the idea of replacing Merrick as if he were expendable. "There aren't any other MH models like you. You're... You're one of a kind, too, you know."

“Then I will have done my job properly. I — My job… that isn’t my job anymore, is it?” Merrick realized, the heat of new emotions overriding his sense of reason. He was just a receptionist. That was all. “I don’t care. I’ll take care of the situation.”

Kezia’s eyebrows knitted together as she studied his expression, wondering if all her hard work to ignite passion within him had made a turn for the worst. “Merrick, I don’t want you hurt,” she said. “I care too much about you for me to allow that to happen, whether or not it’s your job.”

“That is unacceptable, Kezia,” Merrick snapped at the sight of her wrist. “I will take care of this. He will not bother you emotionally or physically again. I promise you that.”

“You can’t,” Kezia said, reaching out and grasping his shoulders gently. “He’ll have you wiped or decommissioned if you do. It’s fine, really, I shouldn’t have raised my voice.”

“… Kezia,” he said, resorting to her preferred name. “What was the fight about? Are you certain that you do not wish for me to go and confront him?”

Her eyes flickered up so they could meet his gaze. “It... It was about you,” she admitted sheepishly. “It was ridiculous. I said something — something about how helpful you were and he was being rude, saying I’d be better off with a mannequin droid for protection and I... I raised my voice at him and...” she retracted her hand and displayed her wrist, bruises purpling around the skin.

The ship hangar had always been what humans called a bucket list item — it represented something of an escapism even her vast hardware couldn’t obtain. Emerald kept her hands to herself despite the need to feel the cool metal under her fingertips, a reminder that something so freeing could be real. At the sound of a voice she stops in her tracks, eyes surveying the man with curiosity. “Free?” she repeats, flickering her attention back to the ship at large. “I was under the impression that no one does anything for free.”

~~~

Viktor had questions for the memory maker, specifically whether or not memories from a complete system wipe could be restored. Still, standing in front of her, Viktor wondered if it was dangerous visiting her now. If anyone found out his owner had passed, he’d be taken and restored like he feared.

“I’m Viktor de Clemonte. I made an appointment?” He wasn’t sure how to ask now that he was here. He smiled, sheepish, and shrugged, “Hi, I just had a couple questions about memories. Uh…”

Merrick frowned heavily when he heard that his owner had been kicked out. How dare he? “What — that is not right,” he said, trying to figure out what this feeling really was. “I’ll go and speak with him. Resolve the matter.”

Kezia gave a small shrug, having experienced this before and thinking it was simply a part of her life she’d have to adapt to. “You shouldn’t, it’s fine,” she protested and placed a hand atop his. “He’ll calm down soon, but I should stay here until he calls and tells me I can come home.”

“I appreciate that you would like for me to call you by your name, but that has clearly caused some…unwanted feelings between him and me,” the droid said honestly, placing a hand on her cheek gently. “I would rather not cause any potential problems if I am to be employed by you in the long-term future. Please go home, it’ll be better for you and your wellbeing.”

“He isn’t here,” Kezia responded, her face heating up as a result of the close contact. Her gaze was pleading as she looked on at her droid. “It wouldn’t be. We... We got into an argument. That’s why I came here, he... Kicked me out. I don’t know if he wants to see me right now.”

Merrick was starting to explore much more in his world than he initially anticipated. He was also lucky to receive days off in the week  ——  although exploration farther than Pandora Heights was very rare. The droid didn’t want to encounter another nightmare such as the droid in Sevian, who he hoped had met a terrible fate by now.

Wait. Hope?

He shook it away, walking into his job as his shift was finally starting. It was a pleasant surprise to see his owner already there, but upon closer approach she was clearly barely awake.  "I do not need any assistance,“ he said, entering the projection area. The pixels of the meadow were surprisingly comforting. Maybe she chose to fall asleep in it. The droid’s hand was placed gently on her shoulder as he kneeled beside her, trying to maintain as close to eye level as he could. "You seem like you are in need of a day off, Miss Kezia. The shop can handle one day off. A personal holiday.”

Kezia’s bleary vision focused lazily on Merrick and her once half-hearted smile melted away, a relieved expression painting her face as she looked up at the droid. Birds chirped merrily around her, an imaginary breeze threading through the tree branches, sunshine casting down upon her and soaking her olive skin. 

“Oh, no, I couldn’t,” she immediately protested, her words strained from a throat steeped in drowsiness. “I stayed up all night and I still have this memory to complete... And I told you, it’s just Kezia.”

At some point, however, the enervation seeped through her bones and once she blinked, her eyelids remained shut as she sunk into a deep slumber square in the middle of the studio floor, the projection of a peaceful meadow still running seamlessly around her.

It wasn’t until the chime of someone entering did she reawaken with a start. “W-Welcome to Jade Enterprises,” she said on instinct, sunken eyes opening up and a tired smile stretching across her face. “How may I help you today?”