🌾1. When I was born, I was given a choice - A big dick or a good memory. I don’t remember, what I chose.
🌾2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
🌾3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.
🌾4. Impotence: Nature’s way of saying ‘No hard feelings…’
🌾5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - ‘don’t’ and ‘stop’, unless they are used together.
🌾6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.
🌾7. There are three stages of sex in a man’s life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.
🌾8. Virginity can be cured.
🌾9. Virginity is not dignity, its lack of opportunity.
🌾10. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.
🌾11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too small.
🌾12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.
🌾13. Q: What’s an Australian kiss?
A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.
🌾14. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing……
🌾15. Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans life?
A: Life sucks, job sucks, and the wife doesn’t
🌾16. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don’t have eyes.
🌾17. Despite the old saying, ’ Don ’t take your troubles to bed’, many men still sleep with their wives!!
🌾18. Breasts are proof that men can focus on 2 things at a time
theartofmadeline
kaledo-art
turnnoffyourmind
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