☭

Need a girl with a hole so big I can find shelter inside from the elements

at planned parenthood and they're playing regular show

"dude if you don't get this abortion benson is gonna fire us"

Walk Like No One Is Driving

i need to come up with a way to say “i mean like, movies for grownups” that doesn’t make me feel like a villain

*peeks in the replies* *gets really nervous and locks my house up and leaves*

i must not get takeout. takeout is the wallet-killer. takeout is the little-death that brings total obliteration. i will face the kitchen, fridge, and pantry. i will make choices about what to cook and then execute them. when hunger is gone there will be nothing. only i will remain.

legit excited to see this come around again

my checking account is called my Lamborghini account and my savings is called my Hollywood hills account. when I have to go to the bank they see that shit. if they knew if was from this dumb fucking video I think they would execute me