I want to watch you.

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@lauubb
I want to watch you.

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she asked forgiveness, and i gave it. but the truth is, i'd forgiven everything she'd done, and everything she could do, long before that day. for me, that was no choice. that was falling in love.
JANE EYRE (2006)
dir. susanna white
JANE EYRE (2011) Dir. Cary Joji Fukunaga

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Emily BrontĂŤ - Wuthering Heights
Oh, I'm burning! I wish I were out of doorsâI wish I were a girl again, half-savage, and hardy, and free.
âEmily BrontĂŤ, Wuthering Heights
I love you. Most ardently.
Enneagram 4-Tritypes
451
This tritype may come off reserved to the extreme and seem the most â5ishâ especially if the 4 has a 5 wing as well, due to the two types, 5 and 1 being very reserved types. 1 is reserved because they feel they need self control, whereas 5 is reserved because they donât want to be emotionally involved, and both of these war with the inherent emotional richness of the 4 enneagram type. They may be very staunch at first, but 1, although a very self controlled type, is a passionate type as well, and this will mix with the type 4 in this tritype, giving them a creative, inspirational drive, while also maintaining a somewhat detached lens on life. They will seem to withdraw and spontaneously engage with reality, off in their own little world, quite literally. Though they may seem very serious though, their opinions and reflections on things and interpretations may come off very odd or artistically inclined, possibly metaphor heavy, or just generally laden with emotion though their appearance would be deceiving. Â Fairly realistic perspectives. A more introverted tritype.
458
Blunt type, doubled by the 5â˛s somewhat impartial observational nature and the 8â˛s confrontational one, this 4 can come off âheadstrong.â Intense combo, especially if sx is the primary instinct. May be arrogant in their convictions and unopen to suggestions, âIâve thought about this longer than you and even if you could have a point, I still thought about it longer and Iâm absolutely not going to take the opinion of someone who didnât ruminate on it as long or longer than me! I stand my ground!â Though, they can also quite intelligent and able to lead when necessary because, while arrogant, they can sometimes come to reasonable conclusions. Somewhat dark, prone to emotional turbulence and disturbance. Rich fantasy life. Sometimes may become annoyed with how âinactiveâ someone seems to be in their situation while they themselves, due to 5 and 4 are quite withdrawn and ruminate rather than act to solve a problem in a hypocrisy that flies over their head, though spotting ways to solve someone elseâs problems can be easy for them and they give fairly sound advice. Can be somewhat misanthropic or bitter but to them theyâre being realistic, desires to be understood but withdraws from attempts to understand.
459
Fantasy prone tritype, and while they may seem to be all off in la la land, the 5 in their tritype can jar people with surprising commentary on observations of events that people hadnât even thought the 459 had noticed! Less confrontational or rigid than the 451 or 458, they want emotional harmony in their environment and probably wonât interrupt it, even if they really should. Good mediators due to this quality as well, they wouldnât want to upset people. Though, they can come off a bit chameleon like in adjusting themselves to the situation through 9, the 4 will be sifting through many emotions and things to identify with. It can give this tritype an almost unreal quality, and the 4 can feel lost in the many emotional blends. However, when balanced, they can exude a very harmonic atmosphere, at ease with themselves and others and to stop the 5 will give some sense of reality in their observations and thoughts lest they get lost and buried under the mixture of 4 and 9, this tritype is very introverted and has a very soothing, calm quality to them, compassionate yet realistic in helping others. Though they seem very calm on the outside probably have a very, very active internal world and may sometimes communicate it through various abstract art forms.
461
Tentative but full of convictions. Dreamy, yet sharply focused. Suspicious, and very specific and detail oriented. Yearns to be accepted and fit in among others yet feels they donât fit in, and can be ridiculed. Focuses and hones in on mistakes, even if they donât matter, of their own or others. More of an introverted tritype. Takes pride in being different yet also may feel attacked for it. Tightly wound. Anxious. Somewhat torn between conforming to avoid being singled out, and acting a outrageously as possible to define their individuality. 4 seeks out what they identify with, whereas 6 is confused as to what they do identify with, so there may be a constant internal war of âWho am I?â and âThis is who I am!â only to have âWho am I?â reoccur the very next day. Supportive, though they can seem very nit-picky towards what doesnât seem to matter due to the 1 in the tritype, undue suspicion, âThat statement could be interpreted differentlyâŚare they hiding something from me?â Regardless, they are good at sniffing the truth out, be it imagined or true. Defensive of what they believe in, and have detailed arguments to prove it, aided by 1 and thought out. This tritype is a person of passion and convictions.
468
More of an introverted tritype than extroverted. Somewhat fearful, so in turn confrontational, justice seeker, somewhat turbulent. Also very blunt as is 458, though likely to be more aggressive and prompting. Inquisitive and very reactive. Sensitive, possibly belligerent. Calls things out as they see them, though outspoken still an introverted type. Â Sees the risk of situations and warns others, though sometimes misses the fact that they can come off a little bit too opinionated and reactive in proportion to the actual situation. Challenging. Very intense blend. Somewhat impulsive. Assertive. May feel that âeveryone is out to get themâ although it may not be true, when more developed, gain trust of others as they know this tritype will look out for them and protect them from what they perceive as something potentially harmful though. Emotionally reactive, rebellious, quite an interesting blend.
469
This tritype is more withdrawn and introverted, due to 9 and 4. Somewhat anxious but fairly friendly though quiet, considering and thoughtful, hesitant. Â Very in their head. Peaceful. Introspective, ruminating. Wants to know how they fit into the world. Deep capability for feeling and thinking about what they are feeling. Self conscious. Less impulsive as theyâre caught up on not making a mistake, thinks thoroughly before acting but sometimes will hesitate too much and be too passive. Torn between inaction and upsetting people by possible actions. Somewhat self conscious. Seeks (credible) advice. More phobic. Though they are introspective, do seek people out. Feel left out because of their differences and would like to âblend inâ lest their differences cause problems sometimes.
471
More of a happy go lucky person due to 7, intense emotions but imbues them with positivity, and even possibly avoids negative ones. Energetic and enthusiastic, inquisitive, curious, ready to take action, somewhat flighty and impulsive while still maintaining a set of convictions and values from 1 and experiencing a deep well of emotion in their activities from 4. Openness to experience, adventurous but still somewhat reserved. Though they enjoy social activities, they may tire after a while and withdraw. Probably come off reserved at first, but reveal a playful nature as you get to know them, while still experiencing deep emotions. Can avoid emotions they donât like though, and nit pick through, seeming oblivious to a very obvious crisis. Self controlled. Willing to teach others, easy team player though they still feel something is different or off about them, wise in a playful yet honest manner.
478
Probably comes off extroverted, what with 7 and 8 both in the mix. Very direct, and assertive. A lot more relaxed than say, 458 or 468, theyâre probably going to the one who tells 458 to loosen up, and 468 to lighten up. High energy. Intense. Bold. Creative. Self expressive. Can be scattered and belligerent as well as highly emotional if underdeveloped, positive and excitable, emotionally honest, friendly when they are. Impulsive, risk takers. Challenge the norm. Take pride in their individuality, not likely to conform. Innovative, enjoys their freedom. Somewhat flamboyant. Eccentric, individualistic. Probably not as emotional in the âmopingâ sense but in a more loss of self control, âangryâ outbursts manner, but at their best, engaging, influential, encouraging, vibrant, bright, and unique to themselves.
479
Positive, more relaxed than 478, less active but still have a âthe cup is half fullâ attitude. Helpful, peaceful. Introspective. May avoid negative feelings, due to both 7 and 9, either running from or minimizing unsavory experiences. Daydreamers. Idealistic. Lighthearted yet still meaningful. Gentle impact rather than overwhelming on others, can affect them and buoy their moods, keep them out of the dumps, but theyâre not too excited. Soothing quality. Introverted type, though amicable. Creative pursuits, be it ideas of thought or expressed through some artistic venue. Dreamy and imaginative, less grounded.
Eventually Iâll get down to the 5 ones
Mr. Rochester âĄ

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the way i cried and i felt like throwing upđ
sing, o muse, of the rage of achilles
I bet you could sometimes find all the mysteries of the universe in someoneâs hand.
Benjamin Alire SĂĄenz, Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe (via rains-of-words)
i dont wanna touch the sky no more

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I wish I could curl up in your arms and stay there for eternity