archived.

♛ LAUSTICZT ━━━━ Laurentius (Laura) Adlyn Alexander , original muse from the Shingeki no Kyojin series written and adored by Gwyn(eth) 25+ (she/her) ; basic etiquette and rules apply. blog contains spoilers, darker themes and nsfw content.

one day she discovered that she was fierce , && strong , && full of fire , && that not even she could hold herself back because her passion BURNED brighter than her fears.

♡ ⋆｡ ᵍᵒᵒᵍˡᵉ ᵈᵒᶜ. ᴵⁿᵗᵉʳᵃᶜᵗᶦᵒⁿ ᶜᵃˡˡ. ʰᵉᵃᵈᶜᵃⁿᵒⁿˢ. ᵇᵒⁿᵈˢ.

Laura doesn't lust and honestly, in her perspective, she doesn't find people attractive. Can't comment on their physical beauty because she doesn't ponder on it. Very demi of her. Unattractive until proven pretty. It takes her awhile, or, in very specific moments where their inner beauty speaks, that she might stand there and think. Oh. They are actually, very beautiful. She may slowly fall for the sound of your heartbeat, and the lightest changes in your eyes when viewing the world, it might be a point of view that challenges hers in a way that inspires her rather than irritates. Then, she will notice physical features she hadn't paid mind to; and it takes her by surprise because, did they always look this way. It's also why she doesn't find herself pretty; she knows she is attractive in looks, that was drilled in her mind since childhood, but she knows she's an ugly person.

So, when she actually does feel attraction, she is a bit of a mess with it. You could stand nose to nose with her before and she'd be ready for a challenge / she may recoil because she's offended, but not flustered. But otherwise, she may be motionless, deer in headlights, before finding an appropriate excuse to storm off, because her face is about to burn up, and she's mad about it.

Even drunk Laura, who doesn't ever drink, and I need to find situations when she WOULD, doesn't really change in that aspect. Unless you've gotten to that stage. Then she is stupid. And touchy. I say that like her version isn't just, hand on your cheek.

@viitlumi continued.

REQUESTS AREN'T MADE LIGHTLY. Laura doesn't ask for help, rarely needs it / refuses the belittlement of needing anyone, for she can make herself an expert instead, surpassing any flaw that might come her way. Years had grown on her, not so much rambunctious as she'd once been. Defeat in knowing she can't rely on her own skills here ... or lack of. She's impatient, can't afford to wait; riding horseback was fine enough. The animals in question, however, were the problem. She manages well enough, the military horses in the inner walls complied without much resistance. But there's rarely a use for them. It's the scouts horses that were her target. Far more reliable, capable, trained as any war horse should. She remembers her THE FIRST, long ago, who seemed out for her especially; refused to bow to her. It had taken awhile, but even then, off-field she'd find no leeway with him. That had been her one and only horse in her time with the survey corp.

Animals weren't her strong suit, nor was she much of an animal person to begin with. Laura didn't need to be. Her issue right now was the new horses.

He's not from here and it makes it easier to approach. From what she can already gather, he's the easy-going sort; but, time will tell. Never completely trusting, she has her eyes set sharply on those across the sea. But it's different. All of them are. It intrigues her in a way she can't describe; eye opening and oddly freeing. She's been suffocating in these walls.

“ ... ”

Laura should be relieved for his help. Happy he had accepted. But at his words, lips shut together, pressing into a hard line. Expression wavers, and there's a light twitch in her brow ... maybe, she clicks her tongue quietly and lets her biting gaze glare at nothing in particular. Admitting it feels like vile in her throat, bitterness when she finally gets the words out; demeaning to hear them out loud. To have someone on full witness to her shame.

“ They don't like me. ” It's almost too quiet at first, her words coming out under a muttered breath. Her face twists with a semblance of disgust. With a moment to recover, she straightens herself up, regaining her domineering manner with a frown and a tilt of her head. “ I'm not exactly an animal person. And they don't listen to me. I don't want to waste time on it. So you don't need to be perfect, good enough works fine. ”

survey corps pre-series is always a brainrot so that gets to be jotted down here.

I really want Laura to talk about Rickard and Norman but it's so hard with her she won't do it. But I need her to finally talk about it. I want her to confide. Have the strong urge for her to voice how she feels. How the stories of mothers protecting their children during the catastrophe is bittersweet. Let her break, for being a terrible would-be mother. And that it haunts her in a way she wouldn't have once imagined.

I am still brainrotted about muses meeting as children. I don't know how, or why, because Laura is locked away in her room most her days, but I crave. I want childhood and even pre-teen, any age setting before fifteen. Because she is so different.

I waaant misunderstood conflict that gets too personal and out of control and they are saying things that end up getting harsh, because Laura can be so vicious. But you say things that manage to get to her and she is beyond offended, pierced through the stomach, and will overstep. And I love that. I love the aftermath of things like that where everything is tense and everyone around them is uncomfortable by the energy they are bringing.

I do want to re-add and go into modern verses, because honestly, she be giving Caitlyn (arcane) energy in one specific verse.

I blame the Farlan obsession for wanting more underground setting, and my love for high-class prissy fucker to be in that setting because she is a danger to herself by opening her mouth at any instance. More so during her survey corps days, that specific age she is /worse/, but any age, any setting. It fuels me.