Write as a hobby, yeet

Madara Uchiha

•It definitely depends whether or not his s/o could share his mind set and aspirations with the Infinite Tsukuyomi (assuming this is the period of time we’re talking about) or if they were against the plan. In the case of the latter, it’s unlikely he’d show them complete mercy. He’d probably hesitate a little, but it wouldn’t deter him from his true goal

•He’s not too concerned about hurting them, since they are reanimations. It’s likely that he’d first try to reason with them, show them why he was doing this in hopes that they would understand, before resorting to anything violent and defensive

•If that didn’t work, then yeah he’d probably turn against them and fight in full. Though he wouldn’t antagonize them so much. He’d focus on just getting them out of the way so he wouldn’t have to deal with them, rather than going out of his way to fight or torment them. At the most, he’d get rid of them from the start so he could put it out of his mind, even if it is a little harrowing

@xxaqua-marinexx and I have been stanning this founders Gods!AU (plus Izuna and Mito, my kween) so here are some headcanons:

Hashirama

•Probably God of… Forests. Or Life. Growth. Something like that. He’s got the whole ‘Supreme God’ thing going on of course. Top dog in the Pantheon 

•He spends lots of time in the forest just chilling tbh. He’s not the type of god who enjoys staying up in… wherever the gods are in this AU? Idk? And Tobirama always gets mad at him. He tells Hashi that he has no business meddling in the human world when he’s a god. King of the Gods, in fact. But Hashi is like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I like the human world

•That means lots of humans probably come across him? If he’s made himself visible I mean. I don’t know how that whole visibility thing works with gods. But Hashi is the god who parades around villages like a regular human, just fitting in with everyone. He loves it

•Then again, sometimes you’ll find him just taking a nap on a high tree branch somewhere. Some kid will be walking through the forest and be like… “Mommy… why is there a man up there in the tree?”. It’s just Hashi taking a damn nap. Some villages know him as the weird creepy dude who lives in the woods

•Ok but Hashi is so cute akshdfkjahfjksd like occasionally, he’ll come across some little curious kid and show them cool stuff? Like show them how he can make trees and flowers grow on command, introduce the kid to the animals in the forest, maybe even gift them some godly gifty thing. Idk what but yeah. Just to make the kid happy. Hashirama likes human kids okay. They’re just so innocent and fun, they’re his favorite

•Speaking of kids, you know I gotta include this even if this AU probably isn’t as R18 as Greek Mythology buttttt Hashirama is pretty free with his sexual encounters, so dude would have some demi-gods running around. Most likely. Even if it’s just from one human? Poly Hashirama is a big mood, but he’s loyal to one human if he happens to fall in love with them

•Sometimes he visits his own shrines to see what people come and leave him. The people he becomes particularly fond of are the ones whose prayers he usually answers first

•Some little kid left a rather rough looking twig crown on one of his altars one day. It wasn’t pretty but he definitely loved it. Took it and wore if from that point on. His most prized possession

Tobirama

•Easily God of Seas and Storms. It’s always storming when he’s in a bad mood. Which is like, constantly

•He spends lots of time loitering around sea shores and sea caves, especially when he’s tired of hanging around all the other gods (aka his brother and the Uchiha bros) 

•Okay so btw, because Tobirama and Hashirama kind of have dominion over their own respective realms—sea and land—neither of them really go into each other’s territory. Not because it’s unlawful, but it’s just custom? Tobirama doesn’t like going on land anyway. He’s a water boy

•Hashirama is always trying to get Tobirama to come on land though. And he’s like. No. 

•A true Chaotic Neutral. He’s not as benevolent as Hashirama, but nowhere near as inhumane as the Uchiha brothers can be. Still though, Tobirama is a god. He finds humans rather annoying and will punish them when he sees fit. He’s not above sinking some sailors if they’ve managed to piss him off enough

•Throwing a little potential romance in here and saying he always wears a seashell necklace, one his favorite human left for him at one of his altars

•When he’s bored, he swims as far as he can to the seafloor and just kinda sits there, enjoying the flora and fauna. Being the sea god, of course all the animals like him. Fish think his hair is an anemone

•He hates it when people starting acting dumb near his shores. Pissing into the ocean, littering, couples fooling around and having beach sex—he always sends huge waves at them to scare them away

•Tobirama is surprisingly… unclad as a god? He’s a god. He doesn’t need clothes. Why should he wear clothes? He practically lives in the ocean for goodness’ sake. He wears such scandalous clothing. So free. So out there. If people catch glimpses of him, it just looks like some crazy albino dude sitting on some rock in the middle of the sea, tiddies out, ass barely covered by his short robe. He’s just sitting there. It’s his ocean he can do what he wants

•Speaking of which, no Uchiha allowed near his seas. It is law. 

Madara

•He could be so many things but we decided God of War above all, probably of Fire, too. Just for the hell of it

•So of course you have to pay respect to Madara or else he gets pretty pissed. However, he doesn’t always base his blessings on who has prayed to him the most or left the most offerings. Often, during human wars, whichever side seems interesting will usually receive his blessings

•He doesn’t like war in spite of his title. It’s just too vicious, too chaotic. He can be a reasonable god most of the time. Just because he prospers off of human conflict doesn’t mean he encourages it. There’s some pre-Konoha sentiment for Madara in this AU. He sees how the humans slaughter themselves and how innocents are put in harm’s way, and Madara thinks it’s distasteful

•He’d sooner give an assassin the advantage to kill one side’s leader so that the war could end right then and there. Madara wants wars done quickly. Whatever way he can make that happen, he’ll do it

•Madara isn’t easily provoked to punish humans, but when they do annoy/insult him, he usually just opts to set their fields on fire. Hashirama is always in the background like ))): but Madara ))): the crops )): plants have feelings too

•It’s doubtful that he would participate in human wars, but if there is an occasion when a war just needs to be stopped, Madara doesn’t mind going in and stopping it himself. He’s got his big scythe and his gunbai as weapons. Very badass

•He doesn’t spend much time in the human world. Since he’s more of a god of intangible things, like war and the strategies used in war, he doesn’t see the point in meddling with humans directly. He doesn’t have land to watch over, though Hashirama lets him come down onto his land whenever he wants, shows him around and all that

•His favorite offering is just simple incense tbh. He’s not picky. No sacrifices or anything pls and thank you

•As for some romance in this AU, some human is probably always praying to him, begging for their family’s protection from the devastation of war, something like that. Madara takes pity on them. He pays more attention to them, answers some of their prayers along the way, and pretty much just catches feelings? It’s always nice to encounter a human who hates war as much as he does. So he respects that, and wants to keep them safe from any and all harm

Izuna

•Fucking Izuna. Always causing trouble. God of Discord/Chaos. But also of Fire, like his bro. He and Madara are on the darker end of the balance beam than Mito and Hashi. With Tobirama in the middle of course. Izuna is probably the more merciless one though

•He’s such a dick sometimes. Will give a whole village the plague if they don’t leave enough rice at his altar

•He’s just adopted this way of thinking over the years(centuries) that as a god, he has dominion over humans and can control their very lives. Which is true, of course. But he kind of takes it to the next level. He’s the god who comes down to the human world just to antagonize people and cause strife between families, villages, countries, etc

•Probably a promiscuous god though, at least every once in a while. As much as he hates humans, he’s not gonna not fool around with them. Probably has some demi-god kids running around 

•Madara has to remind him not to be such a dick all the time. They’re both gods who deal with the savagery of humans, intangible things, so they pretty much control almost every aspect of human life. Madara can tell when Izuna is going overboard, and is always there to reel him in by the leash. It annoys Izuna but he always listens to his older brother 

•Izuna would initially swear he’d rather die than be with a human, but he could end up catching feelings for one. It would probably be a human he started watching often

•Maybe they’re in a really shitty situation. And at first Izuna takes pleasure in that, but there’s something different about this human? He doesn’t actually like seeing them suffering? And at first he’s like Ew. Gross. Compassion??? Wtf is wrong with me. But then he catches feelings. He’s such a mess

•Wears really exposing clothing just because he can. He knows he’s the shit

•If Hashirama lets him walk around on his domain, Izuna frequents human markets and festivals. He’s pretty interested in all the foods and games and what not, but particularly likes finding a gambling spot and fooling all the humans there by playing and making himself win every time. Steals all their money all the time. Doesn’t even have use for money but he doesn’t care. Nothing like the distraught expression on a greedy human’s face when Izuna takes all their money in gambling. Fucking with humans is his life force tbh

Mito

•Absolute kween. So she’s definitely Goddess of like… Fertility maybe. Good Fortune? Protection? Art? Wisdom? No idea. So many possibilities

•Such a generous and benevolent goddess. She’s always giving where she sees people in need. Helping out the couples who can’t get pregnant, the sick children and elderly, etc

•Not to be shippy, I wanna keep it general, but if Mito and Hashi are a nice power couple, they often help each other out answering people’s prayers and what not. A family is asking for good fortune through a long, cold winter? Mito asks Hashirama to make sure their crops stay plentiful. Hashi’s fav human child caught the plague?(thanks Izuna) Hashi asks Mito if she can send some health their way

•Spends her free time working on calligraphy tbh. It’s so beautiful. She’s an expert

•If she ever shape shifts into an animal, she of course shifts into a fox. She’s a beautiful fox ok

•Tobirama lets Mito come near/into his oceans if she wants because he likes and respects her. Hashirama doesn’t  think it’s fair

•Always giving Izuna the judging eyes™ when he fucks shit up in the human world. Izuna pretends like it doesn’t bother him but on the other hand… an angry Mito is not a Mito he wants to mess with. Do not fuck with her

Hashirama

•Oh god everything gets Hashirama in his little affectionate moods. There’s very little his s/o can do that doesn’t draw him in

•If they’re a relatively exuberant, harmonious person, Hashirama just appreciates that. He works best with someone with a similair personality and perspective on life. He just like… he loves it!!! He wants to show them affection and hopefully convey how grateful he is because of that

•He’s the type who gets all depressed if he’s away from his s/o for an extended period of time. Which to him, might just be a few hours. He loves it when they come to visit him at his office when he’s been working all day. He’ll probably forget he’s supposed to be “formal” while conducting business and will get up to hug or kiss them, even if someone else is in the room. And if by some chance he actually suppresses his urges until his guest leaves, he pulls his s/o into a tight hug as soon as the person is out the door

•Seeing his s/o laugh just puts him in a ridiculously happy mood too, and he’s likely to kiss them on the cheek whenever he gets the chance

Tobirama

•It’s quite difficult to incite Tobirama into affection, but it’s not impossible. A lottt of it is when he knows he’s upset them in some way. But it doesn’t come immediately. He’s still incredibly stubborn and tries to keep his pride intact, but after a while, he’ll come around and want to make it up to his s/o. It’s kind of because he knows his s/o is vulnerable? And maybe innocent? And he just wants to remind them that he knows he can be a dick, but he still cares about them

•If his s/o were understanding and could empathize with him, it would mean so much to him. Like if he was working late and couldn’t spend time with them, and they didn’t reprimand him for it, he’d appreciate it. He’d give them a deep kiss at the end of the day to show his appreciation

•He’s likely to be affectionate when he returns from a long mission too. At first he obviously needs time to relax. Maybe shower and eat something and get cleaned up if he was injured, also file some mission reports. But when he’s settled in at home, he just wants to lie in bed with his s/o and sleep

Madara

•He likes it when his s/o looks peaceful? Like say they’re sitting around the house quietly reading a book or something. That concentrated, but content look on their face is what draws Madara in. He’ll come by and move their hair aside to give them a small kiss on the temple

•A little cliche, but he’s also drawn to them when they’re sleeping. He just likes it when they’re relaxed and serene. Sometimes he stays up longer than he intends just so he can watch them and listen to them breathe. It’s comforting to him

I can’t believe I wrote this sin

Tobirama

•How intense Tobirama gets with dirty talk is circumstantial, and he’s probably only likely to do it on a few occasions. For example, wanting to really fluster his s/o, specifically if she’s been acting up and having a go at him as of late. He doesn’t enjoy it when she gets snippy with him. It riles him up and he can’t help it

•Also, if his s/o is somehow trying to refuse him? That’s weird to say but like… I mean, if Tobirama knows she wants sex, but is being stubborn about it for whatever reason. Maybe she’s mad at him or something, and thinks giving him the cold shoulder will punish him. He gets tired of that shit real fast

•When he can’t take it anymore, he’ll press her against a wall and murmur low and deep against her ear: “How long until you drop this ruse and admit you want me to fuck you, _____?“ 

•And hearing Tobirama use that language is HOOOOO MY GOODNESS it’s so hot. Examples of random shit he might say if he’s in one of those wild moods:

“Tell me you want it and I might just give it to you.”

“Stop fighting it and come. I know you want to. I can feel it.”

Orrrrr

“I can feel you tightening around me. I know you want to come. Go ahead. Come.”

“I want you to come while I’m inside you”

“You’re this wet already?”

“You like that, don’t you?”

If you get snippy and cocky when he tries to top you again (because he always does. You gotta be persistent if you want to top for a change): 

“Fine. Then show me what you can do. Get on top and ride me. But I’m not easily impressed, _______.”

“Shit… you’re tight”

“If you behave, I might give you what you want”

“I didn’t realize you wanted it that bad, _______”

He’ll try to goad her into dirty talking him, like… it makes him feel less lewd if she does it first: “Tell me what you want. Go ahead. Tell me—You want me inside you, hm? What do you want inside you—my cock? Is that what you want? So vulgar, ______.”

He’ll pull out right when he feels that she’s about to come and wait, just until she glares/pouts up at him. He says, “Ask nicely”

“Go faster”

“Do you need to come?”

“Don’t get cocky, ______. I know you want it”

Madara

•I may or may not have mentioned before how little fucks Madara gives when it comes to tact, so he’ll throw the word pussy around like it’s nothing and sometimes the dreaded C word. But I’ll leave the latter out for now. Just know it’s interchangeable with the word pussy. Madara is that guy. He’s vulgar as shit. He likes vulgar filthy dirty talk 

“Open your legs and spread your pussy for me”

“I can feel your pussy tightening around my cock. Go ahead, come. Now.”

“Look at me, woman”

“Get on your knees. Wrap those pretty lips around my cock”

Alternatively

“Get on your knees so I can fuck that pretty mouth of yours”

“My cum looks nice on your skin, _______.”

“Finger your pussy for me, and tell me how tight you are”

“You want me to come inside you, don’t you? I know you do. Tell me how much you want it. Tell me how much you want my cum, _______”

“You don’t get to come until I say you can, ______”

“Look at me while you’re sucking me off”

“Swallow it all the way down, I know you can”

“Don’t bother cleaning up. I want my cum dripping out of you”

“That’s it… good girl”

“More spit. Get it nice and wet”

“Keep misbehaving and I’ll have to set you straight, ______. Don’t test me.”

But perhaps the yanderes witness her true smile, which in actuality is soo dorky and makes her look so silly.

:) normal smiling face she shows everyone.

:> her real smile.

What would you think their reaction would be with like yandere tobirama and Madara? Or whatever yandere comes to your mind!

Tobirama too is a hardcore perfectionist so the two of you just kind of add fuel to each other's tendencies. It's most likely Hashirama who has to interfere and tell the two of you to rest as overworking is quite common for the Tobirama and you. Now, Tobirama actually wouldn't tell you to stop. Public appearances are important and whilst he may win people over with his logical approach, you do it with your smile. It's your own tactic of appeasing people and winning their support and so he will not interfere with that. Now, in private he doesn't mind your actual smile. Sure, it may have taken him by surprise the first time he saw it but he doesn't mind it. For public sake though, keep that practiced smile. It's way more efficient when he needs to negotiate.

I imagine they share in turns, but they would not doubt drop in on each other with the excuse that it was a mere coincidence.

That's a lot of characters and some Uchiha I write for by now I didn't even include back then (Izuna) but I'll share my brief thoughts.

Like imagine: S/o managed to get pregnant with great difficulty and gives birth to a child but due to severe complications and the difficult birth itself, s/o can't have anymore kids. S/o is okay with that cause she no longer has to get viciously railed in the sheets night after night by Indra plus she never wanted much kids in the first place so good for her.

Indra, however isn't happy cause he wanted his descendants to be born from his s/o especially if him and his s/o had a girl and not a boy. He is slumped but he's approach by one of his loyal followers who offers him his daughter as a second wife and the daughter, (let's call her D) is happy to be his second wife. (Let's imagine that there was a group of people from the village that was dissatisfied with Asura being chosen and wanted Indra as their leader so they left the village and caught up to him. By then Indra has been with his s/o for a while)

D is strong and possess a strong jutsu so Indra agrees. The marriage ceremony happens a while later and s/o is in a silent but cheerful mode cause she finally has some alone time and no Indra to ruin it.

The wedding night happens and s/o is happily asleep in her and Indra's room. She past by D's chambers earlier and could hear that she and Indra are getting busy so she can have some well deserved time for herself. However, in about and hour or so Indra is back in s/o room to her surprise and proceeds to railed her viciously for hours on end and cuddle her for the rest of the night.

Imagine D walking around telling everyone how passionate Lord Indra was with her and that he kept her up all night while s/o is just limping around, all covered up, with deep eye bags with a deep frown as she glares at Indra's back for putting her in such condition.

D's neck is covered in a few hickeys while s/o entire body is heavily mark. The whole situation is like Aegon the conqueror and his sister where they say that for every night he spent with visenya, he spent 10 with Rheanys

(Remember to drink water and take good care of yourself especially now. Merry Christmas 🎄😘)

Honestly, I think it would be very hard for anyone to keep up the illusion that Indra would hold any kind of affection for his second wife to begin with. She's a mean's to an end and as soon as she has given him another heir or two, he would just drop her entirely.

Maybe it wouldn't affect Madara too much since in Canon, he never had kids, probably piss that he couldn't get the reader pregnant but what about Indra and Sasuke? They both need the reader to start/rebuild the clan? Would they dare find another woman to replace the reader or love her less cause of it?

I am not a fan of the concept of a Yandere abandoning the reader, at least not in the fanfics that I write. Obsession is eternal in my stories so no, none of them would replace their darling.

Indra absolutely needs children and it is canon that he had had them too. He needs to continue his own bloodline out of spite and hatred after he has been kicked out and humiliated by his father and his own brother. He'd probably get himself another woman to function as a broodmare for him but he is going to drop her as soon as she has birthed him an heir or two.

Madara did have no children in canon but it kind of depends on whether you go with the concept of him still being part of the Leaf Village and head of his clan or with him already being cast out. As the head of the clan expectations are there for him to have an heir and people would definitely oppose the marriage the moment it is confirmed that his darling is infertile. He doesn't really do what the elders tell him to do but he too would probably be forced to at least find another woman who carries him an heir. If he is already a missing-nin then it honestly doesn't matter. His focus isn't on having children then anyways.

Madara probably tbh. It takes a while to get him worked up enough to actually let loose, but when he does, it’s wild. Outwardly you might not notice, you’d just see the annoyance in his expression. He’d be a vindictive little shit on the road too, cutting people off, getting in front of them then breaking, not letting people change lanes, honking for like 30 seconds straight. But he’d do it all with a straight face so you won’t know if he’s seething with anger or if he’s amused

Tobirama is definitely the second worst, but that’s because you’ll hear the road rage. Calling everyone a jackass or a moron, constantly cussing, getting impatient when someone’s not going fast enough (Tobirama can be a speed demon at times) honking when someone doesn’t move .2 seconds after the light turns green. He’ll deadass pull up to someone who’s pissing him off and just glare at them until they notice. Has no problem sticking his hand out the window and flicking someone off. He doesn’t care if they get all mad about it either, he hopes someone tries to start shit with him on the road, he’s ready to throw down at any second

oh shit this is cute

Hashirama

•Too many emojis. His favorites are 😌 😃 ❤️ and 🌝 . He always sends the moon one to Tobirama and Tobirama gets pissed off because it looks like such a smug emoji. Its smug aura MOCKS him

•And you already know he has a million emojis next to his s/o’s name 

•Will double text with no hesitation whatsoever. He doesn’t care. He just wants to talk to his s/o. He’s so cute

•Good morning and good night texts are to be expected. Even if his s/o doesn’t answer him right away. And he remembers important events too so they should expect texts like “good luck on your test today!!!” or “let me know how the interview goes” like FUCK what a considerate boy

•Meme lord. Sends tooooo many memes. Has a meme for everything. Even if it’s not common memes, he has memes that are mostly inside jokes with his s/o and he knows exactly what to send them to get them cracking up. It’s just fun texting Hashirama. Text him if you’re having a bad day, he’ll cheer you up

•If we’re talking high school, Hashirama texts in class. Like constantly (if he can get away with it) He knows better than to text during an important lecture though

•Sends his s/o a lot of selfies, specifically if they ask “What are you doing?”. Hashirama figures a visual is much more fun than explaining it through boring text (he definitely prefers calls to text messages btw)

•Hashirama has his read receipts on, hence why he’s bound to answer asap. He doesn’t want his s/o to think he’s ignoring them. Now if his s/o has read receipts on, Hashirama gets anxious. Especially before the relationship where he’s just crushing on them a little. If he sees they read his message and they don’t answer him, he’s kinda like…. oh. ok. He’s pretty good about staying rational and not jumping to conclusions, so he won’t automatically get paranoid about “omg they don’t want to talk to me omg omg”. It’s just that he really likes talking to them so he gets a little bummed out when they leave him on read

Tobirama

•Absolutely awful at texting. He’s just not the the texting type. Before he and his s/o start dating, he’ll probably be more of an avid texter, simply because he’s keeping up with them and they’re in that shaky phase where he’s trying to make an effort because he really likes them. So he wants to talk to them as often as possible and wants them to know that he cares

•He’ll be so anxious waiting for their texts though lmao. He’ll be lying in bed at night just waiting for his crush to text something, and once he gets the text he’s like FUCK finally. But then he doesn’t reply for an hour because he doesn’t know that the hell to say. What a dork

•But once they’re actually a couple, he goes back to being a shitty texter. Poor s/o

•He has read receipts on. Will read a text and not answer. Even if it’s his s/o. But if his s/o does the same to him, he gets all pissed. But he refuses to double text unless it’s something really important. So he just sits there all pissed off waiting for them to answer him

•He’d prefer calls over text, though he’s not likely to answer calls either. He’s pretty much the type who just doesn’t have his phone on him. It’s not so much that he’s ignoring you, he’ll just forget (also his phone is probably on silent all the time. Let’s just say he’s in this groupchat with Hashirama and he can’t handle all the notifications because Hashirama texts SO MUCH)

•Doesn’t use emojis. Doesn’t even use :) or :( his texts are so bland

•He’ll text his s/o “text me when you get home” just to know when they’re safe. But that’s the most they’ll get out of him. They could say “I’m home” and he’ll reply “okay” but if they try to continue the conversation after that, it’s not worth. He’s already put his phone down and won’t pick it up again for a few hours. For someone who wants to keep tabs on literally everything and everyone, he’s awful at keeping up with his phone

Madara

•He’ll definitely hit his s/o with that read and no reply. It’s not always on purpose, he just forgets to reply if something else distracts him. And when he finally texts them back, there’s no “Sorry, I was busy”. He just continues the conversation. Which is a little frustrating? 

•He’ll also be the type not to reply to his s/o for a few hours, then text them something random and start a completely different conversation. You could say that most of the texting will be on Madara’s terms. And he’s sort of a mysterious texter? He’ll have you thinking he’s not going to reply, but then he does. It would make his s/o a little anxious, but they’d just have to understand Madara just doesn’t keep up with texting 

•Also don’t even think about pulling that “Oh, Madara’s going to take ten minutes to reply to me? I’ll take twenty to reply to him” shit. Because he will know. And it will annoy him. He will 100% leave his s/o on read for a full day if they try that with him

•But yeah he does get a little pissy if his s/o leaves him on read. At first he’s just like okay… whatever. But an hour passes and he’s looking at his phone like… I know you didn’t just read and not reply to my text. Honestly, he’ll tell them that. He’ll send them “I know you read that. Answer me, right now.” So demanding even over text, wow Madara

•He’s more of a late night texter. During the day, he’s doing other things. But he’ll reply more often to his s/o at night. Lots of long conversations with Madara will be at like 2 am. It’s like he never sleeps? Yet he’ll scold his s/o for being up so late and tell them “Go to bed right now. It’s past your bedtime”

•Also, Madara’s really just the type who would rather spend time with his s/o than text them throughout the day? So that’s another reason he won’t text too often. His s/o will probably be with him during his free time anyway, so there’s no need to text them that often

YEEEEESSSSSS

Madara Uchiha

•So when you get to his house (arriving in a car he sent for you ofc) undoubtedly nervous because hey, it’s the first time you’re meeting your sugar daddy of course you’re going to be nervous—his smooth demeanor might relax you

•He could live in a really nice house/mansion with attendants and servants and all that jazz, but he probably prefers living alone in a nice ass loft. He gives you that suave and sexy impression the minute he answers the door. The entirety of his luxurious lifestyle might intimidate you, but he’ll try to ease you into it. The deluxe loft, the decorations—he probably has paintings or pieces of art that just scream “I cost more than your yearly salary don’t even touch me”—even the suit he’s wearing will look ridiculously posh. He attempts some small talk just to ease you into the atmosphere, being flirtatious only when he sees the opportunity. He’ll show you around his place then offer you a drink, maybe see if you’re hungry

•It’s when you two have been drinking for a while that you’ll relax, and hopefully open up to him. That way you two can actually have a conversation. If you’re his sugar baby, he actually likes you, because he wouldn’t be funding someone he found unpleasant. So he’s curious about you, interested in whatever you have to say. He wants to get to know you and will ask about your life. At least, beyond what he already knows from texting you/messaging you through whatever website or app you found each other on. UchihaSugarDaddy.com or something. Or who knows, maybe you actually met each other at a bar WHO KNOWS. There are so many ways daddy Madara can seek you out

•Also a quick note about sugar daddy Madara: he’s a little shit. He’d tease you with a shit load of money. He’ll show you his bank account, his expensive car, send you a photo of him holding a giant wad of cash. But then he’ll tell you he’s not going to give you one penny until you meet him in person and ‘seal your end of the bargain’. In other words, ‘come get on this dick if you want the money’

•I mean, Madara understands that’s not entirely fair. You can’t be expected to just trust him off the bat. So he’ll give you a couple hundred to start off with, but if you want more, you have to do your part

•So he’ll probably bring that up and tease you about it, which is where the flirtation turns into seduction pretty fast. Something about “What? You don’t want your money first? Perhaps you’re not as greedy as I anticipated. I’m disappointed, _____.” 

•He has no problem approaching you whenever he wants, but he’d take it slow by inching closer to you throughout the evening, until he could snake an arm around your waist and get close enough to whisper sweet nothings into your ear

•The good stuff starts when he invites you to bathe heheh. He’ll draw a bath for you and tell you to get in. If you play coy and tell him not to look as you undress, he’ll entertain you (even if you’ve sent him nudes or something) because hey, he can play games for a while. At least until he gets impatient

•But until that time comes, he’ll make sure there are extra bubbles in there so it “hides” you, if you’re still adamant that he not look. He’ll pour you a bottle of champagne or something fancy like that, maybe play with your hair a little. He’s doing it to relax you, but it’s obvious he’s tryna get a little saucy

•And when he can’t hold back anymore, he offers to wash your body. He’ll roll his sleeves up, slip his hands under the water, and slowly caress you, starting out in relatively innocent places. Maybe your arms and legs, your back. But sooner or later he’s moving closer and closer to your inner thighs until he finds what he’s looking for

•He’ll massage you for a while, finger you if he’s pleased with the moans spilling from your lips. Then he’ll lean down to kiss you, bite at your lips, slip his tongue in your mouth when you let him. At some point, it’s getting a little too heated for him to hold back, and he picks you up out of the bath, wraps you in a robe, and leads you to the bedroom

•Without going into too many saucy specifics, he spends lots of time exploring your body at first, but of course he doesn’t have the patience to keep it up. The moment you get a little bold and try to one-up him, whether that be biting his lip, grabbing at his clothed erection, even looking at him in a salacious way, he’s taking you hard and rough

•And by the way, Madara’s the type to sex you up so good that you think you might forgo on the sugar baby pay and take more dick instead

I'll be brutally honest here and won't sugarcoat things.

TW: toxic relationships, mention of manipulation, stalking and death threats, mention of sex, criminals trying to encourage you to commit theft and murder (y'know, the usual Akatsuki shenanigans)

18+, Minors do not interact!

────────────────────────────────────

Sooooo spicy. I have a lot of ideas for this one

•First of all, they all three likely agreed that they were to use protection (whatever protection they had in the founders era, jutsu condoms herbs idk) so when she ends up pregnant, they’re all thrown for a loop

•Honestly, Madara and the s/o suspect Hashi at first, for literally no reason other than the fact he’s a little careless and might have forgotten to pull out and/or broke the condom. Who knows

•Hashirama pleads not guilty, but then again he doesn’t mind being guilty. He’s excited for a kid to come into the picture. Madara on the other hand, not so much

•Madara isn’t going to rejoice from the first like Hashi will. He’s going to make sure their s/o is feeling alright about it before anything, wants to know if she’s in any distress or panic because of the revelation. She’s the one having the baby, so she takes priority 

•Afterward, Madara’s just angry. Unless he vividly remembers having one passionate, impulsive, unprotected night with her, he’s fairly confident that the baby is Hashirama’s. And that’s just not okay to him

•Hashirama says he doesn’t care who the father is. It’s a “We’re all in this together!” type of thing for him. Yeah he’s going to be sad if he’s not the father, and he knows it’s a little weird to want to be a father to a kid that’s not his, but he wants to at least be there as an important figure, maybe he’ll settle for Uncle Hashirama. As long as he’s involved. He is intimate with the child’s mother, after all. Plus, he thinks it’s going to be great for the kid to have two fathers and a mother. That’s what poly relationships are for, right? 

•But nah it’s a mess. Hashirama is all smiles and positivity and Madara is dreading the whole thing since he’s sure the kid isn’t his. If he was the dad, it would be a different story. He knows Hashirama wouldn’t care, and for him personally, being a father doesn’t sound all that bad. He could even look forward to it

•But he’s confident that the child isn’t his, and despite his affection for the s/o, he has no desire to be involved in the upbringing of offspring that isn’t his. That’s just how he is. It might hurt his s/o’s feelings, but he isn’t going to force himself to be a father figure when he’s not a father. It’s a mixture of jealousy, regret, and frustration that he deals with

•He’ll get over it eventually. But for a long time, especially in the months after Hashi and s/o’s baby is born, Madara stays away. It feels wrong to be with a woman who’s actively the mother of his best friend’s child. It’s a tricky dilemma for him

•Ok but on a positive note (presuming you could tell who was the father based on the baby’s chakra once they were developed enough) if Madara is the father, it’s still kind of a mess lmao. But a fun one. Hashirama tries so hard to be Uncle Hashirama to the kid, but that’s kind of weird when you’re still sleeping with the kid’s mother ya feel

•And Madara doesn’t think ‘Uncle Hashirama’ is funny and tells him to stop calling himself that 

•Hashirama isn’t stupid enough to run around the village showing off the baby as if he’s the father, but he still gets overly excited when people meet the child. Like, he’s so proud. Everyone’s confused??? Why is Hashirama so excited? Isn’t this Madara’s baby???

•Madara is capable of caring for the baby well enough, especially while their s/o is resting postpartum. So it gets annoying when Hashirama pops in like HEY want me to change diapers? Want me to rock the baby to sleep? Want me to take the baby a bath? What can I do??? 

The only way Hashirama is cheating on his s/o is if it’s a complete accident. Maybe after their heated argument, he went out and got a little too drunk while he was already down. So that made it even worse. And maybe the idea of sleeping with somebody else that night didn’t seem so bad to his drunken conscience

When he wakes up and realizes what he’s done, he’s ashamed, and panicking. His s/o probably doesn’t even need to find out, he actually tells them. He can’t hide it from them. And he probably knows it’s not going to make a difference in how heartbroken they are, but he figures honesty is better than anything at that point. Maybe it’ll even ease the blow if he’s open and regretful about the whole thing 

Tobirama isn’t one to spite his s/o by being unfaithful, but if he was going to cheat at all, it might be that exactly. Afterwards, he knows immediately that he fucked up. Bad. And he hates himself for it. He’s disgusted 

He’s not going to come out and tell his s/o the first chance he gets. He’s not going to actively hide it, but he won’t say anything. They may just be able to find out from his demeanor alone. He looks incredibly guilty, and like he’s carrying a heavy weight on his shoulders

When they find out and confront him, he has nothing to say to defend himself. He’s just as angry as they are. And just as heartbroken. It could start another argument all over again too, since he needs to vent out his frustration and disappointment in himself somehow

Madara is more of the type to cheat out of spite. But maybe only if he thinks the relationship with his s/o has no chance of surviving. So he considers the cheating harmless, and just something to throw away all of his heartache

Hashirama

•When he first thinks about it he’s like WHOA… weird thought. But then he’s like?? Sounds kinda fun? So as long as his s/o is okay with it, he’s definitely going to try it in the bedroom

•He would be a really pretty girl js

•He’s honestly really interested in the foreplay. He wants his s/o to pleasure him in whatever ways they like. Fingering, nipple-play, eating out, etc. He wants to feel it all

•If it comes to actual penetration, he’s pretty down for that too. It feels weird though. Really weird. It takes him a while to adjust. He’s probably a little too eager like ok yeah! let’s try it! And then he’s like OH wow don’t know how to feel about it. Maybe he likes it. Maybe he doesn’t 

•In the end it was fun and all, but he’s probably not going to want to do it again. It was really cool, but super weirdddd. He feels comfortable the way he is lol. It for sure gives him a new perspective though if he changed to his s/o’s sex. Now he knows the best places to stimulate them (not that he didn’t know how to do that before… very well, fyi)

Madara

•He’s probablyyyyy not going to want to try it. It’s just not him. It’s not something he really cares to find out? Like… he’s happy with his dick lol. His dick feels good in sex, he doesn’t really need a pussy. He likes pussy yeah but other people’s pussies ok 

•Instead, he might just keep to shadow clone jutsu or occasional genjutsu in the bedroom. Otherwise, he’s not into using jutsu during sex. He prefers the natural hands-on way 

Naruto

•He 100% wants to know what it feels like to have a vagina so he’s definitely into it (he makes his s/o promise not to ever speak of it again though once they’re done)

•He’s pretty obsessed with his boobs. Honestly his nipples have always been sensitive, but he feels a little embarrassed when his s/o licks and bites at them as a guy. But now with girl boobs, he feels like it’s more natural?? And more fun for sure

•Cannot be penetrated though. He feels like that’s a big no. Feels too weird. He can’t do it

•He likes being fingered though??? It’s embarrassing how much he writhes and moans

Madara

•He’s a typical smooth talker and he’s very good at it. He’s confident and charming. It comes naturally to him, when he’s actually trying 

•He never talks about himself, he just asks about you, your hobbies, your work, your lifestyle, etc. He wants to hear all about it. He makes you the center of attention. His eyes are on you the whole time, with his little smile that encourages you to keep going

•Well that smile is more like a smile-smirk mix and that makes it very difficult to focus because he’s just… so nice to look at

•And since he doesn’t talk about himself, he’s a big mystery, which is how he’ll reel you in. The longer you talk, the more you want to know about him. But he won’t tell (: not at first 

•That being said, he doesn’t waste his time if he’s not really interested. You’ll know immediately if he’s flirting to actually meet an end. Like if you walk away for something, he touches your arm and asks you to stay a while longer 

Hashirama

•POOR GUY he’s so confused. He loves his s/o but also… he loved his ex too. He’s not one to completely dismiss a past relationship; even if it wasn’t a great one, it meant something to him, at one point. But it still confuses him

•There must have been a reason he let go of his ex, so shouldn’t that serve as a reminder to not entertain any feelings he still may have? Hashi’s a firm believer of moving on, even if it’s painful, and especially when someone else’s feelings (his curren’t s/o’s) are involved

•On the other hand, Hashirama’s sentiments are out of control and he’s physically unable to ignore his feelings for his ex once they resurface 

•He can tell day by day that his current s/o is getting antsy. Hashirama is distressed over his relationship issues and it’s obvious. He gets this funny, guilty look his face whenever his s/o smiles at him—because all he can think about is how his ex used to smile at him like that. And then the memories start tumbling in again and fuck it sucks 

•At the end of the day, Hashirama comes to a firm realization: the bittersweet feelings for his ex don’t outweigh the true, present, honest feelings for his s/o. It’s unfair of him to even consider revitalizing anything he had with his ex when he has all he needs to now

•Even though he’s made the right choice, he feels guilty about it for the rest of his life tbh. Especially if his s/o is aware of the internal conflict he had. Even if he was never actually going to go back to the ex, the fact he even considered it in the briefest way is what hurts his s/o, and Hashirama has to live with that

Tobirama

•So Tobirama’s bittersweet feelings for his ex are mainly bitter lol. If he broke up with them, then that’s a done deal. It’s over. He dumped them for good reason, so if they’re trying to get back together that’s too bad

•And if they broke it off with him, it’s really not any better. Even if he was heartbroken about it at the time, he’s moved on and likely developed some not-so-kind nostalgia about the whole thing. So even if they come around wanting to rekindle the relationship, and he has some lingering feelings, he won’t do anything about it

•It’s also worth understanding that it takes Tobirama goddamn forever to open up to a relationship. So he’s not going to jeopardize his current relationship for anything after he’s built up so much trust and loyalty 

•Also, it sort of (really) pisses him off that his ex is suddenly coming out of the woodworks to disrupt his life when he’s clearly got a good thing going; how dare they just waltz in and try to ruin it all? Don’t they know he’s got enough relationship problems on his own, being the dumb, rude, stubborn asshole that he is?? Did they really need to complicated it even more??

•Essentially there’s no way that his ex is getting anything out of it. Tobirama will tell them to fuck off if he has to. He doesn’t want to. I mean, he’ll be cordial if possible, but if his s/o’s feelings are involved, he’s not going to lessen the blow of his rejection until he can assure them that all is well

Madara

•Oof this is extra drama. His previous relationship may have ended in the worst way possible but he (probably) invested a lot into it, since Uchiha love deep and hard as we all know

•But that also means he’s investing a lot into his current relationship. So when his ex comes back, his feelings bombard him and he’s conflicted

•Maybe after his ex, he didn’t think he’d ever have those feelings again. But now he does, for his s/o. How is he supposed to take that for granted? How is he supposed to entertain feelings for a past lover when he’s become so enraptured with his current?

•He’s actually angry, somewhat with his ex, possibly with his current s/o for adding to the drama with their jealousy (only if they express it out loud)—but he’s mostly angry with himself

•It should be an easy decision to brush off the ex and focus on what he has now. He’s a pretty merciless guy when he needs to be. But something about the sentiment he and his ex shared remains in his memories and makes him doubt what he wants