Latenight Panic

Fanfiction is cool because you get to learn what other people's parents taught them the hymen is like

I know that I had somewhat unusually comprehensive sex ed but it still surprises me every time I'm reminded that some people genuinely think that losing your virginity is a capri sun kind of situation.

so what you're gonna do is you're gonna trim the top off a bulb of garlic, using the knife's edge to take off the tip of every individual clove, that's important. you're gonna place the garlic face-up in a square of tinfoil, drizzle with olive oil, wrap completely in foil, place in baking tray, repeat with a copious amount of garlic bulbs. you're gonna put that baking tray in an oven set to 375-400°F, for 30-50 minutes, until soft and browned. you're gonna toast some good bread, slather generously with butter and honey, maybe a tiny lil bit o' salt. and then. you're gonna SQUEEZE. OUT. THAT. ROASTED GARLIC. onto the butter honey toast. and you're gonna eat it. food stolen directly from the plate of the gods. that's what you're gonna do.

As a principled feminist I'm often tempted to say shit like "are men capable of higher thought" but then I have to remember not to perpetuate gender essentialism and change it to "why do men choose not to think about anything"

Ich warte auf den Tag, an dem alle einsehen, dass Oliven eklig sind und es schon immer waren.

I hope you get your favorite food this week and your favorite drink and your favorite 2k dollars

I'm sorry there's no magic in this post I'm just talking. I hope good stuff happens to people online I hope good things happen to all of us

taylor swift would release a 30th special edition of the tortured poets department to block the vampire lestats spot on the billboard chart and within 24 hrs travis kelce would go missing

The Moutain Goats' entire discography lives in the second between wanting to say "I'm going to kill myself" and pausing to think "I should stop saying that"

any tips for developing discipline? ive been going through life on a lackadaisical hedonist build but ive got a bunch of mysterious problems that i may or may not be at fault for

september was practice… in october I’m getting my shit together

in november I'm getting my shit together

in december I’m getting my shit together

in february I’m getting my shit together

in march I’m getting my shit together

in april I’m getting my shit together

in may I’m getting my shit together

in june I’m getting my shit together

And we will.

If I could directly implant this understanding into the brain of every TLT fan, by jod I would

Reblog to bonk your mutuals on the head every time they start thinking negatively about themselves

Reblonk

Rebonk