Always late to the party

So a friend of mine (Duncan) got dumped by his girlfriend (Lara) last year. There was a plethora of things that he did wrong but bottom line she didn’t like how controlling he was to her. It honestly seemed like one of those relationships where she wasn’t able to do anything; drink, spend time with her guy friends even though they were all interested in other guys unless he personally vetted them, he needed to know where location constantly and hell he even had a problem with me helping her with engineering studies. So in summary I think the breakup was meant to be, a lot of our friends wouldn’t say this but when they heard the news I could tell from their faces that it wasn’t a real big surprise. In fact I’m pretty sure they were more surprised it hadn’t already happened.

My reaction was quite the same but I also want to make sure he’s ok. He may have deserved the breakup but everyone needs emotional support to get through what comes after and I am his friend after all. Being the dumpee, is never good and it can get quite messy, but like all bad things it can really teach you a lesson and help you become a better person. So that was generally my message towards him whenever he came to me. “Everything happens for a reason mate, there’s something to learn here. What do you think it is?” His epiphanies resulting from that question generally ended somewhere decent but they didn’t seem to stick, like all humans we reject what we don’t like and accept what we do like. You can lead a horse to the water but can’t make it drink I guess.

Anyways he ends up driving away a friend during the breakup (Isabelle), she quite justifiably just stops talking to him. He called me to try and fix it but after you send a message like that? Good luck to you on trying to fix that. Anyways Isabelle and I end up staying friends because we realize that just because she doesn’t like one of my friends doesn’t mean we can’t be friends. One night after seeing a movie with my friends (Duncan was invited but declined), Isabelle and I meet up for a chat. I’m genuinely worried for her as the message that she received from him like I said was really bad. We had a good chat for a while when all of the sudden at 10:30 at night Duncan shows up at the cafe that Isabelle and I are sitting at. Needless to say it was messy him talking to her and her clearly not wanting to be there. I give her an out and Duncan and I chat for a bit and say good night.

Anyways following that night I meet up with Isabelle and Lara for dinner and Duncan yet again turns up. It was messy but I calmed him down. Couple of weeks later Lara comes to me with a project that I could work on. I’m keen but need details before I say yes. We meet for dinner and discuss. Whilst eating dessert I receive an message from Duncan telling me he knows that I’m having dinner with her. Feeling uncomfortable I explain why and leave it at that.

Finally tonight Isabelle, Lara and I go out for dinner. Halfway through dinner I then get interogatted by Duncan over the phone asking who I’m out on a date with. I tell him I’m at home on a date with a bottle of rum and video games, but I wish it was this cute girl that I’m seeing. We dance about it for a bit until he cracks and tells me friends told him that they saw me having dinner with Lara. He then asks my intentions with her. He says that if I intend on dating her then we can no longer be friends. I haven’t replied to him just yet as I really don’t feel like it.