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@lastcallluke-blog
Est. 1996
A customer handed me his ID tonight, and something about the face in the picture didn’t quite match up with the person I was looking at, like maybe it was a brother or cousin or something.
I couldn’t put my finger on it at first. Then, I noticed he had a tattoo on his arm that read, “Est. 1996.”
Nice try, kid.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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(To Me) Customer: “Man, not many white guys can pull off that Mexican look you got there.”
About to help Freddy Krueger pick a bourbon.
Meat Medallion
One of my coworkers drove from his parents' basement where he lives at the age of 44, to the liquor store at 10:30 at night, to bring another one of my coworkers a single medallion of meat in a ZipLoc bag the size of the ones used to sell weed.
All The Single Ladies
I don't care who you're spending your Valentine's Day with. Mine just beat yours and everyone you know.
[Poision's "Every Rose Has Its Thorn" begins playing over the PA in the liquor store, and a female customer completely breaks down and starts weeping.]
Last Call Luke: Um, can I help you?
Customer: My boyfriend just broke up with me, and this was our song, and he was my cowboy.
Last Call Luke: Oh shit, do you want me to help you get wasted?
[Customer hugs Last Call Luke]
Customer: Would you please?
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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New Old Fashioned
I readily admit that an Old Fashioned is best made the old proper way (no cherry, no water/soda, lemon peel-- not an orange wedge), however it's fun to experiment. Tonight I made one out of Meyers Lemon and used orange bitters. It's a totally different drink and it's quite good. It's not a replacement but it's definitely not bad. What are your versions of this cocktail?
An Honest Beer Commercial (Random At Best Show)
Follow Random At Best Show (https://www.facebook.com/randomatbest) for more hilarity: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7OaXo5wjSYc
Free Hand Sanitizer
Customer: Y'all happen to have any hand sanitizer? Last Call Luke: Yep, there's a large bottle of it sitting over there on that unused register. Customer: Cool. Is it free? Last Call Luke: What? Have you actually been charged for using hand sanitizer? Customer: Shit yes.
Only at a Liquor Store #2
I constantly see people park their car in front of the door, which is a clearly marked fire lane, and leave it running. They come in and browse, taking their sweet time while their car just sits in front of our door. Once a cop happened to be in the parking lot. I laughed and I made sure they saw me laughing.
Parent of the Year #1
A customer asked me to watch their kid while they shopped. Seriously.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Only at a Liquor Store #1 - Halfway There
I've noticed that certain behaviors happen frequently at my liquor store that you would never see happen at any other place of business, and it makes absolutely no sense.
People coming in knowing exactly what they're going to purchase, and could use the carts or baskets right by the front door. But instead, they bring half their stuff to my register barely able to hold 8 bottles in their arms, dump it on the counter and say, "I'll be right back, I have to go get more stuff."
Would you do that at a grocery store?
Catching up.
I realize that I haven't written much lately. I just had a very rough semester where I had more than usual on my plate. That semester is over. I am now a supervisor at the liquor store. On my first day as a supervisor a woman came in who was literally COVERED, from shoulders to knees, in what I can only imagine by smell, to be human waste. We kicked her out because she was an actual health code violation. One hour later, I sold $80 worth of craft beer to Mr. George Wendt, aka Norm from Cheers. Last Call Luke is back, in full effect.
Hello My Name Is
A customer came in with a "Hello My Name Is" nametag. The name? "Inigo Montoya."
I almost bought his beer for him.
Courtesy of an old partner in crime Todd "Officer, do you ever use those cuffs for extracurricular activities" Sunset.
Bummer High
(Walking into the liquor store on my day off, I see a teenage couple outside the building.)
Boyfriend: Hey man, can you do me a favor?
(You already know where this is going, don't you?)
Last Call Luke: Let me guess. You want me to buy something for you.
Girlfriend: We'll give you extra money!
Last Call Luke: No, I can't do that.
Boyfriend: It'll be like $20.
Last Call Luke: I can't because I work here.
(And also, for the record, it's illegal.)
Girlfriend: (Slugs boyfriend in the arm.) Oooooh, shit.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Kids Say the Darndest Things - DUI
Customer's Young Son: What are you getting today, Dad?
Customer: Just this beer.
Customer's Young Son: But you're not going to drink it in the car, right?
Customer: Of course not. I'll wait till we get home.
Customer's Young Son: Good, because you don't want another DUI.
Kids Say the Darndest Things - Lollipop
Editor's Note: When a customer comes in with a young kid, we give the kid a lollipop, just like at a bank.
Customer's Young Daughter: Can I have a sucker?
Last Call Luke: Sure. (Pulls out box)
Customer's Young Daughter: I get a sucker every time we come here.
Last Call Luke: We're always prepared!
Customer's Young Daughter: We come here a lot.
Last Call Luke: That's nice.
Customer's Young Daughter: Like, every day.
Customer: (Embarrassed) Ok dear, time to go...
Last Call Luke: See you soon!