‘dad bod’ is just ‘bear’ in Straight
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@larrysshowersthatarebritish
‘dad bod’ is just ‘bear’ in Straight

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I'm wet
WHERE IS THE AU
Come Live With Me by pygmypuffle [?, 5k]
Harry is a first year university student in need of a new place to live, Louis’ the one who puts out an advert for a room for let, but with one exception: heterosexuals need not apply. Luckily for Harry, he’s far from straight.
Woman can be emotionally abusive
Women can be physically abusive
Women can be verbally abusive
Women can be this way to people of any gender.
Women can be intentionally abusive
please don’t pretend this isn’t true. Especially if you call yourself a feminist.

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people: omg how are you single????
me *internally*: because i have deeply rooted emotional issues and a debilitating fear that im not good enough for anything
me: guess I just haven’t caught my fiSH yet! haha reel one in for me if you find one, sharon!!
do you think ‘here comes the sun’ by the beatles plays in harry’s head when he sees louis walking towards him cause i do
I think you should shut up and let me live
not to be dramatic but @22hry & @harrysdebutsingle are both going to hell
selin i can’t believe we’re finally gonna meet :’)
hell is going to be a blast w us there 😏🔥
Please let yourself be proud of small things. Please do that. Please allow yourself to get really excited about playing a video game well or sending an ask you were nervous about or letting a bug outside or peeling the whole orange in one try. Please get so excited about that. Please. That’s so cool I’m so glad you did it.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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“can you stop being such a ho even for just one second?”
me:
me while riding that glorious dick
PSA: Please teach your partner how to choke properly if you’re into that kind of thing.
The point of choking is not to crush the oesophagus, but rather to put light pressure on the carotid arteries to stop oxygen circulation to the brain. So tops, please create a V shape with your hands, which allows the fleshy part of the palm to rest against the oesophagus without causing any obstruction to the windpipe, and press down on the arteries. It’s not about stopping your bottom from breathing completely, but making them lightheaded.
This is very, very important!
Also, please don’t attempt any choking whilst under the influence because your better judgement may be impaired and you can cause some serious damage.
Choking is serious business, if you’re going to engage in it, please be sure to practise it properly and in a safe manner!
I’m so done with sexist opinions and double standards

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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favourite person: *is happy*
me: good for you
favourite person: *is happy bc of someone else*
me, lighting myself on fire: good.. For. You