romanticizing my melancholic solitude

a severe thunderstorm warning that doesnt follow through is worse than orgasm denial

@zooophagous

wound dressings and bandages are lingerie for the enlightened pervert

It’s the same in Irish! bóín Dé!

in hebrew it’s “our rabbi moses’s cow”

Oh I love this news!!!!

Multiple cultures upon seeing a ladybug for the first time: “Who’s cow is this????”

in German they’re Marienkäfer which also pretty much means “Mary’s Beetle”

This is stupid! Were you born yesterday? (the mayfly’s big limpid eyes fill with tears as it looks at me) oh god I’m so sorry oh no oh god

remembering that time i got drunk and told a guy he looked like a wrought iron gate

he didnt respond to my observation. just sorta stood there

... much like something else i know of

I also think that the strength gap is at least partially manufactured women would in fact be stronger overall if little girls were encouraged to do physically taxing games and activities and eat their fill while they’re growing vs having to constantly diet and be sedentary indoors (or god forbid do intense cardio while under-eating). The amount of adult women honestly afraid to lift weights bc they think they’ll get bulky as though bulking isn’t a full time job that athletes have to spend all their time on and anyone on earth gets shredded from just using their adult muscles for their intended purpose, girl your bone density 🥀

if you say women are intentionally nerfed from birth in 2026 people look at you like you’re insane and start condescendingly telling you about how women are just better at different things (but not during their periods haha) but this was a completely basic feminist talking point I grew up with like “girls can do it too! [shot of little girls climbing and running with boys]” nickelodeon commercial tier base level I hate it how is everyone suddenly dumber than the average 7 year old

Sex is great but have you considered hitting me as hard as you can

yknow kinda something special about the fact that i got a cut on my left hand ring finger while working on someone’s christmas present. that’s gonna leave a scar. every time i look at my ringfinger i’ll be reminded of it. the “wedding band” finger… kinda more intimate than marriage…

but also OUUUUUCCCCCHHHHHHHIIIIEEEEE

cut myself on the same finger while trying to cut a bagel…. idk how to romanticize this one guys

you have to fuck the bagel now

i have to fuck the bagel.

I should probably have a good scream. I feel like I’m a little overdue a blood curdling throat ripping yell