A girl's aide-mémoire

Got too lazy to write in my journal so perhaps, I might transition doing Tumblr again. I think. (Idk if I can commit but here we are).

I thought today was just another ordinary workday. When I took a bath, I already accounted all of the things that I have to accomplish for the day. My anxiety is always at its peak on Mondays. I don't know. Because it's the first day of the week and I'm actually worried that I'd start my week ugly because of my workmates (which they always do).

So, I got ready quickly since I told my father that we'd leave the house early since we will be conducting our Flag Raising ceremony. I just did my usual make-up (which is only composed of moisturizer, sunscreen, a little blush, lipstick and finishing it off with a pressed powder). Then, we went off.

We even filled up our motorcycle with gas along the way and I was a little bit frustrated because it took 5 minutes of our time. But, there was something in me that said, "Lol, you will be fine. Just get along with it." So, I did and took our time. We kind of speeded off when we reached along Veterans Avenue but thankfully, the traffic was not that heavy.

When we reached near ZCMC, I could see a lot of people on standby outside the hospital. Me and my dad just ignored them maybe because they were just hanging outside before starting their duty. A little further, we also saw a bunch of employees outside their office premises. We too ignored them since we assumed that it is a Monday, they were just conducting their flag raising ceremony (since it was around 7:30-ish AM when we passed by). But it already sparked my curiosity. But, other people seemed to be relaxed or perhaps clueless on what is going on so, we just went along.

When we are around the corner of our office and saw a huge group of people...and even saw familiar faces...I saw one of my co-workers wearing a yellow hard hat. In my mind, "What is going on?" I thought, they were just wearing that because there is a drill or maybe a fire nearby. But my co-worker suddenly lit up upon seeing me and asked, "Hey, did you feel that?" I was like, "Uh, what?" "EARTHQUAKE!" she exclaimed. I was dumbfounded. I suddenly looked for my father who just dropped me off from his motorcycle and signed, "There was an earthquake. It moved." I nodded in agreement and waved him good bye, telling him to take care upon going home. I then contacted my boyfriend, Med. My eyes widened upon seeing an all-caps, "EARTHQUAKE! GAGI THAT WAS LONG. IT WAS SCARY" chat message. I really had ZERO IDEA!

We were all there outside our office building and just focused on our screens waiting for updates regarding aftershocks. It turned out that the epicenter was in General Santos City with a magnitude of 7.2. In our city, a 6.8 magnitude was felt. Honestly, I did not feel anything. Maybe because we were on the road by the time it shook. I was really shocked that I was not able to recognize that it was already an earthquake. Until now, while I am typing this. My co-workers felt it when they were already in the building. Same as me, there were also those who did not feel it because they were in a moving vehicle. They were just as surprised as I am.

A few minutes later, we went inside. There were still no advisory for Work Suspension. So, we decided to go about our day. But the emergency alert rang noisily that contributed to our worry. There was a Tsunami Advisory that was released by PHIVOLCS. Our city was included. I slightly panicked at that thought since we were situated near a coastal area. I called my mother quickly and asked how they were. She said she felt it and it was strong. She narrated how quickly she ran upstairs and woke up my younger sister who was still sleeping. She quickly got her bag. My sister was slightly woken up and decided to lie down again to sleep but upon hearing the word, "Earthquake", she suddenly stood and ran off hastily towards the ground floor of our house. Thank God they were okay, I said to myself.

So, I went to our office and tried to finish off some work. The Office of the City Mayor has already announced Class suspension on all levels. Since there was still no work suspension that was announced, might as well do something productive. A few minutes later, the City Mayor has modified his announcement and included suspension of WORK. I was about to get ready to call my father to fetch me and get home. However, I got irritated by our Chief. I was not allowed to go home until I finish printing the appointment documents of the newly-promoted personnel. I was like, "Huh? During these times, this is your priority?" But she was too nonchalant to be bothered by the situation. She was more concerned that the documents will not be signed by our Boss since he will be out-of-office for two weeks. BUT IT WAS NOT MY FAULT that they were not able to prepare them beforehand. Technically, I am not supposed to prepare them since I was not part of the recruitment process. I was one of the applicants of one of the positions being applied for. By doing so is a conflict of interest on my part. But, why am I the one being squeezed into their mess? I am so confused. But, I have no choice. Thankfully, I was fast enough and focused to finishing everything on short notice.

Nette on Sundays

Here goes my attempt in living an ✨aesthetic✨ life. Lol. Today was well-spent. Went to a very nice café. Their food was 10/10. Would most likely visit there again! Here are the food we ordered:

•Spicy Desconstructed Longganisa with Garlic Rice and Egg: 9/10

•Beef Kulma: 10/10 (BK is my comfort food and I'm not usually picky and I eat whatever version there is but THIS. This set the bar.)

•Iced Caramel Popcorn: 9/10 (not a perf score. I like its sweetness but there's just too much ice)

•Iced Caramel Macchiato: 10/10 (because of the experience! You get to mix the coffee caramel with the milk! And it's that good!)

After eating our brunch, we went to the grocery to grab something that my mom asked me to buy. After buying, we fetched my mom and my sister so we can go together for our Sunday Ritual at The Fort Pilar Shrine. We then ate at Jollibee for our early dinner (for my sister but it's only merienda for the 3 of us). We went home to my Boyf's place then we had our dinner at McDo. Their spaghetti was surprisingly good. I might be ordering one partnered with their mushroom pepper steak. These two, I think, might be the perfect combo.

First and foremost, I was not one of the those who will be transferring to the new location. So I thought, "Para saan pa?" but a thought countered this, "Ay, okay lang 'yan. Kasama ka naman sa company." The latter may have won but the former still bugged me.

Second, what would the "Marketing Team" think of me? "Pabida"? Of course, it was supposed to be their job to inform. They have more rights to do it but I came in first. I stole the spotlight. But, "Why would I think that?" I asked. They should be thankful tho. I have given them the favor. Since, they are so busy with the moving procedures, at least someone managed to lessen their cargoes, right?

Third, I am not even a permanent employee. Why would I? Maybe my fellow contractual employees would think what the Marketing did. They would tag me as "pabida."

It's just really incomprehensible that tagging me as pabida when I just took the leap of faith and made the initiative to post it just so. I wanted to announce to my circle of friends on FB of what is about to happen. I intend no harm but pure intentions of PSA.

Later this afternoon, our Area Head came barging in to the office calling my nickname. "Nette!" she shouted. What first came to mind that maybe, she will scold me for posting without advise. I prepared for my doom that time BUT, it wasn't my doom after all. Press releases per protocol should be announced by the Headquarters but, can we afford to wait for them? No. This was reiterated by our Area Head. She said (non-verbatim), "I wanted to post it but my Team told me that someone has already posted one with the complete details. They told me it was 'Nette' but initially, I didn't know who it was but when they said Nette was from the Accounting Department, I knew who it is." It kinda made me feel bad but happy na rin because I am not that known so, I guess keeping it lowkey worked. Anyway, to continue she said, "I will be seeking your permission to share this has because I was about to post but I find your post complete and informative already." I don't how to feel about that, actually. I wanted to be happy but the people around me in my department does not seem that supportive. Even if it was a compliment but all I got was stares as if I did the most wrongful thing. I tried to smile, laugh it all out and said, "Sure, Ma'am. It's for everybody's info naman din." It did not ease my anxiety. It just made it worse.

Someone from work chatted me, "Nette, kamusta? Ano feeling maging famous?" If only this --> ??? would become a face reaction, that will be my face reaction to his message. I mean, I did not intend to become famous. I only intend to inform. I really don't know if that was a tease or a compliment. I don't know anymore. Do I seem like a joke to everybody?

Also, I saw a tweet from one of my co-workers as well. Her tweet went, "Kahit ilang aviso pa yan, bobo pa rin mga tao. Hindi sila nakakaintindi." All I can say, that is why we are here. That is why we will continuously announce until the actual day comes or even days after. Grabe naman. These are the reasons why I don't usually favor to be participative in this kind of stuffs. I am always the one who gets misunderstood. I hate this. So I replied to her tweet, "Check. Hahaha." Though pissed, the sadness felt stronger.

Anyway, charge to experience na lang. Nakakawala ng kumpyansa sa sarili. My confidence, which I have been building lately, crumbled down and here I am, about to pick the pieces up and try to get back up again. I am both discouraged and embarrassed of what I have done. This will be that last. I will no longer get myself involved in this type of things anymore if this is what I get. Sometimes when you do what is right, it will still feel wrong.