defense mechanism

𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐘𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐒 𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐍 𝐁𝐄𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐄 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐑𝐄𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐃. 𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐔𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐁𝐋𝐄 𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐌 𝐇𝐔𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐒. 𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐅𝐀𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐈𝐒 𝐀 𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘 𝐆𝐈𝐅𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐈𝐒𝐓.  𝐘𝐄𝐒, 𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑. 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐈 𝐒𝐀𝐈𝐃…𝐈 𝐖𝐀𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄.

❛ my friends, this is now the united states of zombieland. ❜ 

❛ of course the first hot girl in a thousand miles shows up, makes me feel like an idiot, steals my double-barrel, and then says i’m the one that can’t be trusted. ❜

❛ you wanna feel how hard i can punch? ❜

❛ it’s just there’s zombies everywhere ━ i think the least of my worries is seat belts. ❜

❛ i mean, do what you want to a man, but do not fuck with his cadillac. ❜

❛ oh my god, i can’t believe i shot bill murray ! ❜

❛ i avoided people like they were zombies even before they were zombies. ❜

❛ i may seem like an unlikely survivor, with all my phobias and irritable-bowl syndrome,  but i had the advantage of never having any friends or any close family. ❜

❛ who’s gandhi? ❜

❛ rule number one for surviving zombieland: cardio. ❜ 

❛ you are like a giant cock-blocking robot, like developed in a secret fucking government lab ! ❜

❛ gotta’ enjoy the little things. ❜

❛ remember mad cow disease? well mad cow, became mad person, became mad zombie. ❜

❛ better you make the mistake of trusting us, than us make the mistake of trusting you. ❜

❛ it’s amazing how quickly things can go from bad to total shitstorm. ❜ 

❛ one more clean shot to the head and this lady could have avoided becoming a human happy meal. ❜

❛ you’re a peppy little spit-fuck, aren’t ‘ya? ❜

❛ my mama always told me someday i’d be good at something, who woulda’ guessed that something would be zombie-killing. ❜

❛ she’s only famous when she’s hannah montana ━  when she’s wearing the wig ! ❜

❛ i can tell already you are gonna get on my nerves. ❜  

❛ if it makes him happy and keeps him from using that crowbar on me, then i say ‘ hey, go ape shit ’.❜

❛ i survive because i play it safe and follow the rules ━ my rules. ❜

❛ is that how you say hello where you come from? ❜   

❛ if the girls in your neighborhood are now fucked-up little monsters, well maybe it’s time to stop driving carpool. ❜

❛ he sets the standard for not-to-be-fucked-with. ❜

❛ stop ━ no names ━ keeps us from getting too familiar. ❜

❛ you know they say ‘ he who seeks revenge should remember to dig two graves ’. ❜

❛ it would be nice to see a familiar face, or any face that doesn’t have blood dripping from its lips and flesh between its teeth. ❜   

❛ you got taken hostage by a twelve year old? ❜   

❛ the thing i fear more than anything, yes, even more than zombies ━ fucking clowns. ❜

❛ see, you just can’t trust anyone ━ the first time i let a girl into my life and she tries to eat me. ❜

❛ what can i say? i have a case of, uh, chronic anxiety. ❜

❛ another rule to surviving zombieland: travel light, and i don’t mean just luggage. ❜

❛ thank god for rednecks ! ❜

❛ in those moments when you’re not sure the undead are really ‘dead’ dead, don’t get all stingy with your bullets. ❜

❛ oh, which reminds me, i never had headaches like this till your ass came on board. ❜

❛ it’s amazing how far you can get with some costume jewelry and a cutthroat attitude. ❜

❛ someones ear is in danger of having hair brushed over it. ❜

❛ i don’t usually unlock my door to the sounds of panic, but my neighbor is insanely hot. ❜

❛ i’m not great at farewells so ━ that’ll do pig. ❜

❛ you know, i may not shoot you, but you still have royally pissed me off. ❜

❛ you should be scared, a homeless man just tried to eat you. ❜

❛ see, i told you we should have gone to russell crowe’s ━ nobody listens to me !  ❜

❛ that’s the worst goodbye I’ve ever heard, and you stole it from a movie. ❜

❛ pride ━ no where. dignity ━ long gone. virginity ━ totally justifiable to speculate on. ❜

❛ when you’re afraid of everything that is out there, you quit going out there. ❜

❛ all i could think of was ‘ what are the odds? another marriageable woman to bring home to the folks.’ ❜

❛ i’m not easy to get along with, and i’m sensing you’re a bit of a bitch. ❜

❛ we were all orphans in zombieland. ❜

You are a really nice person, Hope Mikaelson. This is the part where you run.

Send “UGH” to pin my muse against the wall from FURY

Send “DONT” to pin my muse against the wall to prevent them from LEAVING

Send “OOF” to pin my muse against the wall by ACCIDENT

Send “HA” to pin my muse against the wall as a JOKE

Send “NO” to pin my muse against the wall to PROTECT THEM

Send “LISTEN” to hug my muse against the wall to let them know they LOVE THEM

                                    {   I  SURVIVED.   }

                                    {   I  SURVIVED.   }