Winds of wander

The safe choice was Gale. Period. They had shared interests, shared backgrounds. Their families knew each other. She’d been hunting with him for 5 years. He was predictable. A marriage to him, at least before she became a victor, would have been a logical, obvious choice. But to read these books and still come away with the feeling that she wasn’t attracted to Peeta makes no sense. Who keeps tabs on someone you don’t talk to? Who takes notice of how someone’s hair falls in waves over his forehead, and the details of his eyelashes? I met my ex-husband in 2005 and I couldn’t tell you a thing about his lashes to this day. She calls him shiny. She calls him beautiful. She dreams about him. She keeps momentos from him. She describes the time in the cave as a happy time even as they were on the verge of death. She tells him she needs him and MAKES HIM STOP TALKING SO SHE CAN KEEP KISSING HIM. She is devastated when she believes he no longer loves her. Like, what?

MAVIS NICHOLSON: "Do you think it is possible, then, for someone to forgive themselves even when they've done something absolutely terrible?"

TONI MORRISON: "Yes. It's called grace. At some point you do. If you don't, you're in a cul-de-sac. But you have to go through the fire first. You have to experience the full fall, and the complete self-loathing, in order to come around to something like the forgiving of oneself. It's when you skip responsibility, when you use a subsititute emotion like guilt--which is of no use to anyone--but if you feel the real thing which is shame, hatred, humiliation, and self-loathing: that is the door. And if you get through that, then you can forgive yourself."

Some of my old work from 2015–2017.

These too will be featured in my new art book Faraway Dreaming. The book will launch 01 June on Kickstarter! Click "Notify me on launch" to be first to see. ♥

Some of my old work from 2015–2017.

These too will be featured in my new art book Faraway Dreaming. The book will launch 01 June on Kickstarter! Click "Notify me on launch" to be first to see. ♥

Katniss: He hates hates hates her for being the same as him. He can communicate with her because she is the same as him. He's her mentor, of course he cares about her. He should be a father figure to her but he's too stunted by his own trauma so they exist like teenage allies in the never-ending arena which is a victor's life. He wants to keep her safe but she must also be a pawn in the rebellion. She makes him make promises he cannot keep. She is all that he could have been and he is all that she might be.

Peeta unexpectedly laughs. “He was drunk,” says Peeta. “He’s drunk every year.”

“That’s very funny,” says Peeta. Suddenly he lashes out at the glass in Haymitch’s hand. It shatters on the floor, sending the bloodred liquid running toward the back of the train. “Only not to us.”

“Don’t be so superior. You can never tell what you’ll find in the arena. Say it’s actually a gigantic cake —” begins Peeta.

“Doesn’t matter,” he shrugs. “Although it’s technically illegal.”

Peeta smiles at me, sad and mocking. “Okay. Thanks for the tip, sweetheart.”

“Wouldn’t surprise me if you do,” says Peeta. “Give my mother my best when you make it back, will you?”

“For what? Nothing’s going on here,” he says. “Besides I like watching you sleep. You don’t scowl. Improves your looks a lot.”

“Yes, of course I was referring to that, not the lasting joy you gave the sister you love so much you took her place in the reaping,” says Peeta drily.

“And don’t try. Obviously I’m too dim to get it,” he says.