hopedrunk everasking

lmao my emotional regulation is so fucked today, i keep so easily having highs and then being really furious at nothing at all

rewatching TNG and it's insane rewatching humanity's first encounter with the Borg. i'd forgotten it was Q who introduced the two species, on a whim, and set them on a collision course. anyway the Borg are SO scary when you know what they're capable of

it sucks that if you want to get eloquent you have to talk to people or write, why cant i be eloquent inside my own head for free

i'm too sensitive lol

went from feeling mentally dead and not in control of my faculties → feeling annoyed and antisocial and not in control of my mental faculties after drinking this cup of coffee

watching the TNG episode When the Bough Breaks (s01e17) and trying not to cry

wondering if it's time for another partial reread of the Cradle books to restore my sanity...

day #99 of thinking about Cyclops opening portals to the Punch Dimension....

something about the crisp winter coldness makes me recklessly masochistic and it feels like a gift of the season

ohhhh i'm too melancholic to catastrophize

i need to start journaling again tbh. i think that's why i'm going insane lately

perhaps it's not entirely mentally healthy that my reaction to thinking someone is mad at me is for me to immediately start making sure i feel bad until the situation is resolved somehow, even if it takes days

i don't feel like a person today

finally started Stormlight Archive 5: Wind and Truth, and now i'm even MORE pissed off at Sanderson for the fuckass title. not only is "Wind and Truth" shit compared to previous ones (The Way of Kings, Words of Radiance, Oathbringer, Rhythm of War), but the internal book it references is called Knights of Wind and Truth, which is a WAY better title!!! what the fuck is wrong with you!! why didn't you use that one!!!