Suicide is feeling less and less like a back up plan and more and more like an inevitability with every day that passes
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@lambsearandlavender
Suicide is feeling less and less like a back up plan and more and more like an inevitability with every day that passes

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whenever i finally successfully kill myself, deep down, im sure everyone who knows me will feel a sense of relief.
i must've done awful things in my previous life to deserve this hell of an existence
Dear diary...
I really feel like just my presence is a burden to everyone around me.
I'm not okay. I don't know if I will ever be okay.

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Dear diary...
Nobody would miss me. Nobody would lose anything. I'd be quickly forgotten.
Some would even be better off...
Nothing makes you feel more worthless than being left behind without a word, without a second chance, just like that after you gave them your all.
I can’t live with myself all I do is hurt people. I used to try not to but they always ended up hurt anyway. Maybe I’m covered in thorns . I can’t stop exploding everywhere and hurting everyone. Isolation is the only thing left for me. I hate being lonely but I hate being around people too. I just wish I could disappear and not be conscious anymore
Dear diary...
I guess I had potential at some point, but I lost it all to my demons.
I have nothing now...
Well, here I am, thinking about killing myself again. Great.

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I’m Unworthy.
I’m unworthy..
I’m unworthy of having a home.
I’m unworthy of having a safe place.
I’m unworthy of having food.
I’m unworthy of having an apartment.
I’m unworthy to live a decent life.
I’m unworthy to live a normal life.
I’m unworthy to keep or be kept.
I’m unworthy to money.
I’m too unworthy to be important to anyone.
I’m unworthy of having stability.
I’m unworthy of love.
I’m unworthy of family.
I’m unworthy of friends.
I’m unworthy of peace.
I’m unworthy of a car.
I’m unworthy of a good job.
I’m unworthy of comfort.
I’m unworthy of clothes.
I’m unworthy to society.
I’m unworthy of life.
I’m unworthy of a healthy mental.
I’m unworthy to God.
I’m unworthy to the Devil.
I’m unworthy to everyone and everything I come across.
So why am I still alive?
I have nothing and I’m unworthy of everything.
The worst way to exist.
Dear diary...
I will never be enough. Not for myself, not for anyone else.
And this is becoming so much clearer as days go by...
how come everyone else is worthy of your love, your time, your effort.. your little acts of love.. your attention.. and i am not? why am i always the excluded one?
why does rarely anyone want to be my friend or ends up leaving or avoiding me eventually? why am i never anyone's favourite friend?
am i really that difficult to be around?
It doesn't matter because you don't matter
note to self: stop putting effort into people who don't even return half of it
..like i'm not even worth anything

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
I should just do everyone a favour and kill myself. What's the point anymore. I can't do anything right. I hope I die in my sleep tonight that will be what's best for everyone.
My days pass as I am waiting for my demise.
I was never meant to be anything. The universe didn't have a plan for me.
I was simply a parasite meant to be eradicated.
My existence was a terrible mistake. I am only a villain that got lucky.