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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

if i look back, i am lost
Sweet Seals For You, Always

Kiana Khansmith
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Xuebing Du
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Love Begins
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Bea put her hand in her hand as she looked up at Joel, a light smile on her face. Everything froze as he dropped down beside her and she realized what exactly was happening. A few heartbeats went by before she shook herself out of the shock. “I’m not taking your last name though.” She extended her hand out to grab his wrist and pull Joel into a kiss.
Rom watched his friend carefully lay out his proposal. Each word made his chest swell with pride. He released the breath he had been holding, once Bea gave her answer. He threw his hands up and clapped loudly. “Congratulations,” he cheered.
Joel kissed her back happily before pulling away to put the ring on her finger, his hands shaking slightly. “Bea Ryan? Don’t worry, I wouldn’t force that on you.” He chuckled as he pressed in to kiss her again. “I’m not sure I could pull off Joel Barks either. And Barks-Ryan or Ryan-Barks… I think it would be safest to not change our names.”
“Congrats!” Tori cheered as well. She linked her arm with Rom’s and pat his chest.
“Congratulations. I take this means you and Tori won’t be running away after all.” Seth said with a chuckle. Tori was quick to shake her head.
“Oh no, it’s still going to happen, It’ll just be on her wedding day so she’ll run away in her dress and I’ll be waiting for her like a god damn rom com.” Tori giggled happily and Joel rolled his eyes.
“They’re going to be as bad as us, aren’t they?” Joel nodded his head towards Rom. He could see the pride in his friend’s eyes and it made him grin wider. He moved back to his chair, keeping a hold of her hand as he did.
“I’m holding you to that.” She pointed at the other woman with the hand that wasn’t preoccupied. “I want a full stop to the wedding and a full blown confession. I’ll be sure to get a dress that has a good amount of drape so it’ll look spectacular trailing behind me.” Bea laughed before she rounded on Joel. “This was supposed to be your night! You’re a scoundrel, you planned this didn’t you?”
“If any training montage in a movie has taught me anything, I suspect they might end up worse than us. The students will soon surpass the teachers,” he chuckled. “And we will only have ourselves to blame.” Rom placed his hand over Tori’s trapping it against his chest. He turned to Tori now. “We’ll have to make sure it’s an outdoor wedding and you must roll up on a loud ass motorcycle so everyone’s attention is on you before you confess your undying love. Plus when you drive away with your lady love on the back her train can whip in the wind.”
makingupformistakes:
“Oh yes, please give us a speech, Joel. Make sure you give thanks to the coolest person you know.” Tori mouthed ‘me’ as she pointed at herself with her thumbs. “And that’s all you really need to say to make it a great speech.”
“I just want to say thank you to Tori, who is amazingly cool.” Seth attempted to mimic Joel’s voice a little. “Yeah that speech would be right up there with four score and seven years ago.” He rolled his eyes at the woman.
“I do actually have a few things that I want to say.” Joel’s heart rammed into his throat as he looked around the table. He pushed away from the table to stand. “I guess I will start by saying thank you, Tori for being the coolest person I know.” He winked at her and chuckled softly to try to calm himself. And I have to say thank you to all of you for helping me get to this point. To Rom for being my brother and for all you have done. To Bea….” He paused as he looked at her. “You are the strongest person I know. The most amazing. After leaving… that place, I never thought I would find someone who could understand me and who I just felt so right with and then… I ran into you. Beatrice Barks, I don’t need the world when I have you. You are more than enough and all I ever have is just you… I’ll be the happiest man alive.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a box as he moved to kneel by her chair. “So I guess the question is… are you satisfied with just me? Will you marry me?”
Bea put her hand in her hand as she looked up at Joel, a light smile on her face. Everything froze as he dropped down beside her and she realized what exactly was happening. A few heartbeats went by before she shook herself out of the shock. “I’m not taking your last name though.” She extended her hand out to grab his wrist and pull Joel into a kiss.
Rom watched his friend carefully lay out his proposal. Each word made his chest swell with pride. He released the breath he had been holding, once Bea gave her answer. He threw his hands up and clapped loudly. “Congratulations,” he cheered.
lambinwolvesclothing:
Rom shifted give Tori’s arm a gentle pat as he pretended to glower at Joel. “How very dare you, sir. Bitch indeed,” he chuckled. “But I have to say having no taste is a bit more fun than working hard to have taste.”
“Excuse me. I teach at Columbia University. Obviously I faked taste well enough to get hired.” Seth laughed happily. He was quick to give his order and hand his menu back to the waitress. Tori ordered as well, caving now and ordering a glass of wine to go with the food.
“Oh please, Rom. You aren’t fooling me. Call me a bitch all you want, I know you love me.” Joel winked at his friend and Seth groaned.
“Alright, alright before you two start that again, shouldn’t we do a toast or something? Isn’t that what is called for during celebrations like this?” Seth asked. “I barely know this guy.” He pointed at Joel with a laugh. “So it should be up to one of you.”
“Columbia does not have any taste.” Bea shot back at her friend, a twinkle in her eye at the thought of a good natured fight.
She reached over to her water glass to raise it. “I suppose I will start the embarrassment train.” She took a deep breath and looked over at Joel. “You constantly surprise me with the things you can do, the things you know, and the things you show me. The one thing that does not surprise me is that you accomplished this. Was it a little touch and go for a minute there?” She paused to quietly chuckle. “Maybe, but I didn’t doubt you would get to a year once you set your mind to it. And for that, you deserve the world. I hope you’re satisfied with just me. To Joel.” She looked around the table at that moment at their friends gathered.
“To Joel and all his tireless work that got him here.” Rom raised his glass with the others. “Couldn’t be more proud to be your family.” A softness creeped into his grin as he met his friend’s eyes. “I think a good toast deserves a good speech too,” he chuckled.
lambinwolvesclothing:
Rom cleared his throat and placed a hand over his chest. “I would like to argue that I in fact have taste by proxy, as I deeply love the only person here with taste,” he chuckled. “Some of it has bound to have rubbed off on me at some point.” He leaned forward to inspect the chip in Tori’s hand. “That is a fine set you’ve earned, Joel.”
“Fuck yes I’m the only one here who has any taste.” Tori pumped her fist in celebration. She then reached over to pat Rom’s hand on his chest. “We’ll say you have good taste, but only because you love me.” She reached back across to set the coin back down.
Joel set a hand briefly on Bea’s before grabbing the coins to return them to his pocket. “I think it is safe to say that none of us have taste.” He chuckled before twisting to press a kiss to her hair. “Especially not Tori.”
“Bitch.” Tori stuck her tongue out at him.
“Hey if not having any taste means being friends with Bea and all of you guys… I guess I don’t mind having no taste.” Seth laughed as the waitress came over to take their orders.
Bea leaned into Joel as she tried to finish looking at the menu to order. “I like to think that I can fake having taste super well. Part of my job, really.” She looked over the group gathered before landing on Seth. “Seth though, I don’t even know if you can fake it.” She stuck her tongue out at him.
Rom shifted give Tori’s arm a gentle pat as he pretended to glower at Joel. “How very dare you, sir. Bitch indeed,” he chuckled. “But I have to say having no taste is a bit more fun than working hard to have taste.”

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“I’ll second that sentiment. This is an occasion that deserves ample recognition.” Rom turned his smile on Joel. “We are all very proud and it needed to be said loudly and with loads of joy.”
“Then let’s get a round of drinks to celebrate!” Joel said loudly with a laugh. He looked among the group and chuckled again. “I’m kidding, obviously. Sorry if that was in poor taste.”
“I thought it was funny personally.” Seth laughed softly. “But then again, what do I know about taste?”
“Did you get one of those little coins? Do they actually hand those out?” Tori asked. She grinned when Joel nodded his head. “C’mon, you’ve got to show us the bling, Joel.”
“I’ve actually got two.” Joel shifted so he could reach into his pocket to pull out the two chips. “One from AA.” He set it on the table and Tori instantly grabbed it to examine it. “And one from NA.” He set that one down on the table as well.
“None of us know what taste is. Except maybe Tori, I don’t know what they teach across the ocean.” Bea laughed, covering her mouth with her hand to stop the noise from leaving their table. Her other hand went to Joel’s thigh, resting there. “We are a very tasteless group.”
Rom cleared his throat and placed a hand over his chest. “I would like to argue that I in fact have taste by proxy, as I deeply love the only person here with taste,” he chuckled. “Some of it has bound to have rubbed off on me at some point.” He leaned forward to inspect the chip in Tori’s hand. “That is a fine set you’ve earned, Joel.”
lambinwolvesclothing:
“It’s just a number. I’m not old yet,” he chuckled. Rom beamed at Tori and fought through the urge to kiss her. He leaned in close to her and whispered. “Have I told you I love you today?” He turned to greet Seth with a wave. “You’re just in time to get in on plans to runaway for love. If you want in you’ll have make your move before we hit 40th anniversary, though.”
Tori grinned at him and gently caressed his cheek now. “I love you too.” She whispered in return before focusing on the rest of the group again. “You’re welcome to join us when we run away, Seth. I assume you agree, Bea?”
Seth laughed as he took a seat at the table. “I appreciate the offer, but how do you know I won’t have my own person to run away with by then?” He shook his head with another laugh. “Either way it is good to see all of you.”
“It’s good to see you too and all of you for coming. And thank you Bea for suggesting we do this.” Joel said as he reached over to hold her hand.
“Well the offer stands if you don’t, so I guess it’s just you and me Tori.” She sighed sadly, batting her eyelashes like she was upset over it. Bea brought Joel’s hand up to her lips, pressing a kiss to the back. “It’s something that we should absolutely celebrate.”
“I’ll second that sentiment. This is an occasion that deserves ample recognition.” Rom turned his smile on Joel. “We are all very proud and it needed to be said loudly and with loads of joy.”
lambinwolvesclothing:
“I’m pretty sure there’s some line like wild horse couldn’t keep me away.” Rom stood now and pulled Joel into a tight embrace. Just to play up the girls’s commentary, he placed a noisy kiss to Joel’s cheek. He turned to grin at Bea and Tori. “You guys don’t have to worry yet. The romantic runaway scheme is for our 50th anniversary. You’ve got time.”
Joel grinned at his friend, gripping Rom’s arm tightly for a moment before finally moving to take a seat. “He’s right. We’ve already got it all planned out. Though Rom might be too old by then for some of our plans.”
“He may be old, but he’ll still be sexy as hell. You will very lucky to have him, Joel.” Tori reached up to lightly pat Rom’s ass. “I’ll just have to convince Bea to run away with me before you two break our hearts.” She winked at Bea with a laugh.
“I don’t know what you guys are talking about but I hope you all aren’t planning on running away right now. I just got here.” Seth said as he approached the table.
“There will be little convincing. Little do they know that I have a plan to get you to run away with me around their 40th anniversary.” Bea returned the wink before looking up at Seth. “You made it! I don’t know why I’m always surprised but with these two,” she waved at Rom and Joel, “I would never blame you if you decided you couldn’t make it.”
“It’s just a number. I’m not old yet,” he chuckled. Rom beamed at Tori and fought through the urge to kiss her. He leaned in close to her and whispered. “Have I told you I love you today?” He turned to greet Seth with a wave. “You’re just in time to get in on plans to runaway for love. If you want in you’ll have make your move before we hit 40th anniversary, though.”
makingupformistakes:
lambinwolvesclothing:
“What? You mean you don’t enjoy being hunted every hour of the day? It certainly keeps me more active,” he chuckled softly. “You’re very right though.” He turned to see the door. A wide grin spread across his face and he waved emphatically at his friends. “It’s been quite a nice reprieve lately. Although, I feel like I should find some real wood to knock on.”
“Excellent.” Joel said with a laugh before they reached the table. “Hey guys! Thanks for coming tonight.” Joel clapped a hand on Rom’s shoulder before leaning down to carefully hug Tori.
“Oh please, as if I could keep him away from you.” Tori laughed before getting up to hug Bea as well. “I’m just here for Bea anyway.” She grinned before taking her seat again.
“One day we’re going to wake up and find the two of you gone, off on some romantic runaway scheme. We need to create a support group for that, might as well start now.” Bea laughed as she hugged Tori. She sat down at one of the free seats.
“I’m pretty sure there’s some line like wild horse couldn’t keep me away.” Rom stood now and pulled Joel into a tight embrace. Just to play up the girls’s commentary, he placed a noisy kiss to Joel’s cheek. He turned to grin at Bea and Tori. “You guys don’t have to worry yet. The romantic runaway scheme is for our 50th anniversary. You’ve got time.”
lambinwolvesclothing:
Rom pressed in as close as safety would allow and smiled back at her. “I cannot. It kind of flew by when I wasn’t looking,” he chuckled. “I don’t think I could be prouder without exploding. He’s done so well.” He glanced back at the door. “They should be here soon right?”
“Tori and Rom would be so caught up in each other I doubt they would even notice us missing.” Joel pouted for a moment before pulling her in for a quick kiss. “Fine, but only if we get to make out later.” He brought her hand up to his lips to give it a kiss before leading her into the building. “Besides, it wouldn’t be fair to leave Seth alone with them.”
“It helps that it’s been so quiet lately. It’s easier to heal when the Foundation isn’t breathing down your neck every two weeks.” Tori picked up her glass to take a drink of water. She would have preferred alcohol, but tonight didn’t exactly seem like the right night for it. “Look, they’re here.” She lightly elbowed him and gestured toward the couple walking in the restaurant.
“You are not wrong.” She laughed into the kiss before they walked into the restaurant. “I promise to at least make out with you later. There might be more” Bea whispered the last sentence in Joel’s ear before waving at their friends.
“What? You mean you don’t enjoy being hunted every hour of the day? It certainly keeps me more active,” he chuckled softly. “You’re very right though.” He turned to see the door. A wide grin spread across his face and he waved emphatically at his friends. “It’s been quite a nice reprieve lately. Although, I feel like I should find some real wood to knock on.”

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Rom pressed in as close as safety would allow and smiled back at her. “I cannot. It kind of flew by when I wasn’t looking,” he chuckled. “I don’t think I could be prouder without exploding. He’s done so well.” He glanced back at the door. “They should be here soon right?”
“Tori and Rom would be so caught up in each other I doubt they would even notice us missing.” Joel pouted for a moment before pulling her in for a quick kiss. “Fine, but only if we get to make out later.” He brought her hand up to his lips to give it a kiss before leading her into the building. “Besides, it wouldn’t be fair to leave Seth alone with them.”
“It helps that it’s been so quiet lately. It’s easier to heal when the Foundation isn’t breathing down your neck every two weeks.” Tori picked up her glass to take a drink of water. She would have preferred alcohol, but tonight didn’t exactly seem like the right night for it. “Look, they’re here.” She lightly elbowed him and gestured toward the couple walking in the restaurant.
“You are not wrong.” She laughed into the kiss before they walked into the restaurant. “I promise to at least make out with you later. There might be more” Bea whispered the last sentence in Joel’s ear before waving at their friends.
letme-rearrangethatforyou:
“If we’re home, does it matter how distracting we are to each other?” She worked his belt free and kissed him deeply as she concentrated on that for a moment. Bea’s hands left Joel’s belt to frame his face.
—
“I think Rom and Tori are already inside.” Joel said as he lightly took her hand. He was trying to hide his nerves, it would be weird to be so nervous over a celebration like this and he didn’t want her to be suspicious. “Ready to go in or do you want to sneak off and make out instead? I’m good either way.”
Tori was leaning happily, and carefully, against Rom as they waited at the table. “It’s hard to believe its been a year, isn’t it?” She looked up at him with a smile. “I’m really proud of him, I can’t even imagine how proud you are.”
Bea gave his hand a squeeze before laughing. “You know I am always down for a good make out session, but we do have other people coming to this too, you know.” She tucked some hair behind her ear. “And we’d never hear the end of it if we stood up Tori and Rom.”
Rom pressed in as close as safety would allow and smiled back at her. “I cannot. It kind of flew by when I wasn’t looking,” he chuckled. “I don’t think I could be prouder without exploding. He’s done so well.” He glanced back at the door. “They should be here soon right?”
Tom Hardy as Eddie Brock in Venom (2018)
lambinwolvesclothing:
makingupformistakes:
letme-rearrangethatforyou:
“I need to let Seth know too,” Bea began to chew on her lip. She wanted to pull her hand away to go back into the bar but it felt nice to hold Joel’s hand again. Once more, she felt herself straighten to steel herself to go back into the bar. Head held high, she opened the door they both came from.
“To good ratios.” Tori chuckled, pulling away from him so she could grab her glass and take a drink. “And to new friends?” She asked with a nod towards Seth.
“Um, yeah. New friends.” He smiled, but it faded a little as he noticed Joel coming into the bar. “Hey, they’re back.”
“And then we can go home.” He gave her hand the slightest squeeze before stepping into the bar. Joel looked for his friends, not very surprised to see Bea’s friend sitting with them now. “Looks like we only have to make one stop…”
Rom glanced up in time to catch sight of Joel and Bea entering the bar again just as Seth announced their arrival. He tensed for a brief moment, but forced himself to relax. They weren’t actively fighting so that had to be a good sign. “And they’re not yelling… So that’s good.” He gave a small wave at the pair.”
Bea stuttered in step for a moment at the sight of Seth, Rom and Tori all sitting together. She blew a sigh through her nose and walked with purpose to the trio. Directing her words to Seth, she spoke clearly enough for everyone, “I’m going home. I wanted to let you know before I just disappeared.”
Joel was quiet as she spoke. When she was done he cleared his throat and looked at his friends. “I’m leaving as well. I know you understand.” He said softly as he reached over to lightly grasp Rom’s shoulder. “Thanks for bringing me out though.”
“Hey, yeah. It’s fine.” Seth smiled softly at her. “As long as you’re okay?” He asked her, glancing at Joel.
“Yeah man. Anytime.” He did his best to hide his weariness. “I’m sure you guys have a lot to talk about.” He sat back in his chair. “Just let us know you’re both still alive at some point.”
“I’m fine. I’ll text you.” She bent down to kiss Seth’s cheek before patting Tori on the shoulder. “I’ll meet you outside?” Bea let go of Joel’s hand to walk out of the bar. She needed just one more minute to pull herself fully together before heading home.
“Yeah of course.” Joel said as he watched Bea head out of the bar. “Here’s hoping I don’t… fuck up a second chance.” There was a slight smile on his face, but it was obviously forced. “Have a good night.” He finally followed her out to the street, hesitating before offering his hand to her again.
Tori sighed as she watched her friend’s leave the bar. “This will be good, right?” She squeezed Rom’s hand. “It has to be good. I don’t think I could bear it if they don’t turn out alright.”
Seth finished off his beer as he watched the couple leave. He played with the empty glass for a moment before speaking. “I guess… they both deserve it. The chance to be happy.”
Rom gave a wave and a smile to his friend. Both faded away once Joel was fully focused on Bea and the exit. “I think... Well, it doesn’t matter much what I think really. I just want them to be able to figure this all out and find happiness.”
lambinwolvesclothing:
makingupformistakes:
letme-rearrangethatforyou:
“I need to let Seth know too,” Bea began to chew on her lip. She wanted to pull her hand away to go back into the bar but it felt nice to hold Joel’s hand again. Once more, she felt herself straighten to steel herself to go back into the bar. Head held high, she opened the door they both came from.
“To good ratios.” Tori chuckled, pulling away from him so she could grab her glass and take a drink. “And to new friends?” She asked with a nod towards Seth.
“Um, yeah. New friends.” He smiled, but it faded a little as he noticed Joel coming into the bar. “Hey, they’re back.”
“And then we can go home.” He gave her hand the slightest squeeze before stepping into the bar. Joel looked for his friends, not very surprised to see Bea’s friend sitting with them now. “Looks like we only have to make one stop…”
Rom glanced up in time to catch sight of Joel and Bea entering the bar again just as Seth announced their arrival. He tensed for a brief moment, but forced himself to relax. They weren’t actively fighting so that had to be a good sign. “And they’re not yelling… So that’s good.” He gave a small wave at the pair.”
Bea stuttered in step for a moment at the sight of Seth, Rom and Tori all sitting together. She blew a sigh through her nose and walked with purpose to the trio. Directing her words to Seth, she spoke clearly enough for everyone, “I’m going home. I wanted to let you know before I just disappeared.”
Joel was quiet as she spoke. When she was done he cleared his throat and looked at his friends. “I’m leaving as well. I know you understand.” He said softly as he reached over to lightly grasp Rom’s shoulder. “Thanks for bringing me out though.”
“Hey, yeah. It’s fine.” Seth smiled softly at her. “As long as you’re okay?” He asked her, glancing at Joel.
“Yeah man. Anytime.” He did his best to hide his weariness. “I’m sure you guys have a lot to talk about.” He sat back in his chair. “Just let us know you’re both still alive at some point.”

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letme-rearrangethatforyou:
lambinwolvesclothing:
“Well in the end relationships always have the good and the bad. Opening up to take in the good makes you open for the bad too. You just have to find the right person to create the right ratio.” Rom gave Tori a light squeeze. “We’ve got more good than bad, right?”
She shifted again before huffing at herself. Bea took one more moment to straighten her spine and moved to take Joel’s hand. “I just want to go home and sleep. I haven’t slept in what feels like days. Can we go home?”
“Hm… I don’t know… That’s a tough question.” Tori was grinning as she spoke. She turned to glance back at him before laughing. “Of course we do. We have a lot of good.”
“I can tell.” Seth was laughing as well. “You guys look real happy and good together.” He raised a glass to them. “Maybe someday I’ll find something like what you guys have.”
“Y-yes. Of course we can.” He carefully brought her hand to his lips. “I want… to say goodbye to Rom and Tori first. I don’t… I think it’s a good idea for me to stop making people worry about me.”
“Thank you.” Rom tapped his glass to Seth’s. “To finding someone who makes good ratios with you,” he chuckled. He downed the remainder of his glass and smiled. It felt nice to have a bit of lightness back. He felt a little bad now about fighting the idea of going out.
“I need to let Seth know too,” Bea began to chew on her lip. She wanted to pull her hand away to go back into the bar but it felt nice to hold Joel’s hand again. Once more, she felt herself straighten to steel herself to go back into the bar. Head held high, she opened the door they both came from.
“To good ratios.” Tori chuckled, pulling away from him so she could grab her glass and take a drink. “And to new friends?” She asked with a nod towards Seth.
“Um, yeah. New friends.” He smiled, but it faded a little as he noticed Joel coming into the bar. “Hey, they’re back.”
“And then we can go home.” He gave her hand the slightest squeeze before stepping into the bar. Joel looked for his friends, not very surprised to see Bea’s friend sitting with them now. “Looks like we only have to make one stop…”
Rom glanced up in time to catch sight of Joel and Bea entering the bar again just as Seth announced their arrival. He tensed for a brief moment, but forced himself to relax. They weren’t actively fighting so that had to be a good sign. “And they’re not yelling... So that’s good.” He gave a small wave at the pair.”
letme-rearrangethatforyou:
lambinwolvesclothing:
“Well in the end relationships always have the good and the bad. Opening up to take in the good makes you open for the bad too. You just have to find the right person to create the right ratio.” Rom gave Tori a light squeeze. “We’ve got more good than bad, right?”
She shifted again before huffing at herself. Bea took one more moment to straighten her spine and moved to take Joel’s hand. “I just want to go home and sleep. I haven’t slept in what feels like days. Can we go home?”
“Hm… I don’t know… That’s a tough question.” Tori was grinning as she spoke. She turned to glance back at him before laughing. “Of course we do. We have a lot of good.”
“I can tell.” Seth was laughing as well. “You guys look real happy and good together.” He raised a glass to them. “Maybe someday I’ll find something like what you guys have.”
“Y-yes. Of course we can.” He carefully brought her hand to his lips. “I want… to say goodbye to Rom and Tori first. I don’t… I think it’s a good idea for me to stop making people worry about me.”
“Thank you.” Rom tapped his glass to Seth’s. “To finding someone who makes good ratios with you,” he chuckled. He downed the remainder of his glass and smiled. It felt nice to have a bit of lightness back. He felt a little bad now about fighting the idea of going out.