Firenzefied

The things I do for lint, man.

Then, I introduced the toothbrush! It's one of the soft bristle spares I keep packaged in my guest room-- I opened it up, swirled it through the treat jar to cover it in crumbs, and held it out for investigation. Mmmm tastes like treats

And then I used the toothbrush to brush over his face and head, which he enjoyed quite a bit! This is a good face, trust me. Gradually I focused on petting and brushing near his mouth, eventually bringing a second hand in to stabilize his head. Lots of treats at this stage. And then...a little bit of brushing and still more treats.

When you're talking about the design of the boat, you say "it".

When the boat is still being built, your say "it".

When the boat is nearing completion, you can say "it" or "she".

When the boat is floating in the water you probably say "she", unless there is still a lot of work to be done (e.g. no engine yet) then you say "it".

When the boat is officially launched and operating, you say "she". If you continue to say "it" at this point you are not incorrect but suspiciously untraditional. You are not playing the game.

If you are referring to a boat you don't really know anything about you may say "it" ("there's a big boat, it's coming this way"). But if you know its name, it's probably "she" ("there's the Waverley, she's on her way to Greenock").

If you are talking about boats in general, you say "it" ("when a boat is hit by a wave it heels over")

If you speak about a boat in complimentary terms, it's "she" ("she's a grand boat"). If you are being disparaging it may be it, but not necessarily ("it's as ugly as sin", "she's a grotty old tub").

If she has a boy's name, she's still she. "Boy James", "King Edward", "Sir David Attenborough"? The pronoun is she.

If it's a dumb barge (no engine), you say it. But if it's a rowing boat (no engine), you say she.

no. I mean romanticize whatever you want. my stance has always been “write whatever you want, however you want.”

not to mention that you can’t always tell if something romanticizes bad things. two people can read the same fic, one can say “this romanticizes non-con”, the other can say, “no, this doesn’t romanticize anything.” it’s all about each person’s interpretation. it’s all subjective.

that said, if someone wants to romanticize bad things in fiction, then go ahead. it’s their rights and their freedom to create whatever they want, however they want. no censorship means nothing is censored, doesn’t matter how it was written/created.

and if these taboo fantasies are someone’s fetish, then as long as they’re not harming anyone in real life, what turns them on is literally none of your business.

incest and cnc kinks have always been one of the most popular kinks, and most people who are into them can separate fiction from reality.

(and if some of them can’t, their inability to separate fiction, kinks and fantasies from reality is not other people’s problem or responsibility.)

fanfiction is not an act of activism. someone’s kink and what they do in bed with their consenting partner is not an act of activism. kill the moral cop in your head. fanfiction and kinks don’t have to be “morally correct”. it can be whatever turns a person on, however turns a person on, and as long as no one in real life is harmed, what they do and how they do it is no one’s business.

This is why I don’t feel at home on the left or the right anymore. I don’t want to own the libs or own the right. I want people to come to the negotiating table with open hearts and offer help to their neighbors.

There is a fundamental — and fundamentally difficult — viewpoint shift involved in growing up American and deciding to stop defaulting to punishment for wrongdoing and start thinking about how society failed, and what happened to create the circumstances for that wrongdoing. You have to stop seeing Bad Guys. You have to stomp your amygdala flat whenever the fear-mongering comes for you.

Hurting people is bad actually. It’s bad for your soul. Even if you’re just hurting “bad people.” You become brittle and mean. You become strict. You stop listening and understanding. You’ll carry yourself with tension and fear and look away from strangers.

When you become kind, especially kind to “bad people,” you will notice the opposite. That inner voice that calls for violence will go quiet, and people in the world will sense that you are warm and safe and they will be drawn to you. You will find, around yourself, what one interpreter I spoke with last year beautifully called “a fortress of kind people.”

And dogs will like you more. This is 100% factual. The longer I consciously choose to be the second kind of person, the more dogs trot up to me and ask for pets, even nervous little dogs.

There are two ways you can start. Choose whichever feels easier.

One, decide to be kind to someone else when normally you wouldn’t.

Two, start being kind to yourself.

And I mean really kind. Forgiving of faults and encouraging of efforts. Loving. Caretaking. It is kindness to yourself to make that dental appointment you’ve been putting off. It is kindness to yourself to close the door on the friend who isn’t a friend anymore and who is only causing you harm. Don’t just take a bubble bath and call it a day.

Kindness to others is meeting them where they are and not demanding that they change to suit you. It’s listening and asking and keeping appropriate boundaries and clear communication.

I started with #1. Because, if I could stand up and argue for the humanity of the “worst” people I’d ever met, people who had done things much more terrible than anything I’d done, that meant that I was worthy of defending, too. This is a truly ass backwards way of confronting my own internal demons, but, for all that, it was deeply successful.