LaLaQuinn

I feel my life is ending. Was this it? Born to suffer since a kid. Suffered when being a teenager in my 20’s in my 30’s. Is this ever gonna end? Is it ending now? Am I, gone? Am I actually already dead and this are just my bones covered in skin walking around? Can you do something? Can you save me? Can you finish killing me? Just bury the body you already pulled the trigger. You already killed me in life, just finish it.

There’s an important vein there, she says. What if I tell you I already know? I’ve been drinking so much I’ve been drinking since 7am today. I feel like I’m getting destroyed. Is so much pain. My body physically hurts. I’m nauseous I vomit my head is killing me I feel an emptiness in the mouth of my stomach, I’m sweating I’m shaking. I have rage attacks with myself. I am so tired, I need help. I can’t ask for help. I have to smile at work I have to smile everyday. I’m falling apart in a hole full of of thorns. I am so drunk right now. How I did not learn of not attaching to a person ? My life is very shitty my life is horrible. She was my shield my angel. O thought I was that for her. I do everything wrong. Everything’s how to not feel like dying. I sit in the dark I lay under my blankets. I want to physically die. So much pain so much agony so many tears I’ve been feeling for four days in a constant stage of splitting. My vision is blurry I feel ants in the tip of my fingers. I can’t write I can’t speak to you. When this agony is going to end? I’ve been in this stage so many times are you my person ? Did you gave up on me like everyone else? Is this ice treatment a punishment before you leave me? Is this the end?