single gerhl

Yves Tumor- Limerence

I wrote this last year and it still rings true.

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I am a woman.

I am a woman who has been misdiagnosed 3 times.

I am a woman who has had to endure the humiliation of relaying my trauma to a health care professional, only for them to break confidentiality and enable my abuser to continue the abuse.

I am a woman who has been prescribed Prozac, Lithium, Clonazapem, Zopiclone, Concerta,  Abilify, Lamotrigine, Zyprexa, Depakote, Olanzapine - many after only one consultation and not being made aware that one of these, at the age I began taking it, could render me infertile.

I am a woman who has seriously considered electroconvulsive therapy as a viable option at the height of my depression and mania, as pharmaceuticals that kept me in bed for over a year and contributed to a significant weight gain, were easier to write scrips for than the effort of connecting me to a qualified therapist.

I am a woman who has grown up seeing the women closest to me treated with the same disregard for their mental health and observing this as the norm.

I am a woman who has seen the women in my life survive rape and abuse, only to be cast aside by the health care system when they needed help the most.

I am a woman who has had my illness downplayed by those around me when it was invisible, but during a manic episode, written off and dehumanized with the term “crazy”; not having it recognized as something that may require immediate medical attention.

I am a woman who has had to struggle like so many others, with an ignorant and ableist society that misuses the terms bipolar, psychotic, obsessive compulsive and depressed - appropriating it to their everyday, minimizing the ability of those struggling with mental illness to access language that accurately conveys their inner conflicts.