(insert clever title here)

I also like it when they're like hey what's up or something personal/natural instead of the welcome to wherever how can I serve you bit.

I also like it when they are sitting down or listening to music they clearly enjoy

There is something so nourishing about walking into a place of business and immediately thinking "huh, I wouldn't have guessed this place would be playing this kind of music" only to see an employee absolutely head-banging along because today is their day to pick the CD and they are living

Despite what capitalists might think, I do not want to roleplay being royalty in the presence of slaves when I seek professional assistance in obtaining my basic human needs.

tumblr should have achievements

obsessed with this post because it forced me to pronounce “meatballs” in a way i never would have before. meæãt balls

You EAT miette balls?!

strand of hair caught in hinge of glasses, 500 injured 300 dead

OBSESSED with the fact that there’s a redditor out there who calls themselves “PISS BOT” but carries themselves with the unflappable politeness of a confused Victorian gentleman. 

video game characters love to say "meet me at these coordinates"

we should start doing this in real life too btw. I think it would be funny if your friend gave you latitude longitude coordinates that just led to your local Tescos

Reblog to headbonk your mutuals like a cat full of love

get headbonked mutuals

chess is improved by picking two pieces to be star-crossed lovers who cannot bring themselves to kill the other

im at your girls house changing their pronouns

Is this that Killers song

We always talk about giving a Victorian child a Cheeto Puff or Gatorade, but what about music? If I traveled back in time and blasted God Race by Metaroom they would absolutely perish.

I swear, the users on this site are like a bunch of garment factory owners, the way they are always obsessing about the what the limits a victorian child can endure before they perish.

why are there so many posts about asexuals being immune to sirens. people. sirens don’t lure you in with sex (necessarily). they sing about whatever it is that you want most. they could sing about mothman or cinnamon toast crunch and guess what then your asexual pirate is fucking dead

this is the only kind of ace discourse i ever want to see on my dash. the only kind. ever again. good job

Do you think the sirens would be grateful that they finally get some variety? 

“Oh my god we can finally just sing about pasta thank the fucking gods.” 

I’m not asexual but I’m fairly certain sirens would do a far better job luring me into the depths with a song about pasta rather than sex…

Them: “We have unlimited wifi at incredible speeds~” Me: *diving headfirst into the water*

This post is a blessing

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Oh my god sirens were literally scam websites

Oh my god they were phishing