One More Time

Maybe you didn't know that in 3rd grade she told me I couldn't dress up as a princess for the elementary school's Halloween party. Simply put, they already had three princesses, and four was just too many. Not to worry though, they would allow me to accompany them as their maid. She insisted I wasn't allowed to wear my tiara because everyone else might think I was a princess too. I cried in the bathroom for so long that one of the volunteer parents had to come find me. Maybe you didn't know that in sixth grade I got invited to her birthday party. What I didn't know at the time was her mom sent an invite out to all of the girls in our class, but I thought this was a sign! The popular girls want to be friends! So of course I went. And they ignored me as much as possible the entire time. Maybe you didn't know that I heard her talking to a friend a few days later about how she just had to invite me, and she couldn't believe I dared to show up! Maybe you didn't know that we didn't really interact in high school, but you better believe she made some off-handed comments about my cheap clothes or my love of anime and gaming whenever it was convenient for her. But Zeph, you say, that was like 15 years ago! And this is some really petty shit! Well it still fucking hurts. What did I do to this girl for her to be that mean to me? Was it something I said, something I did that made this person decide that I wasn't good enough for her and her friends? What did I do to deserve being bullied my entire childhood, and how could these people have not seen her doing it? Let me say that I'm not glad she's gone. I don't wish an early grave for anyone, and I sincerely hope her spirit can be at peace, and her family find comfort in her memory. It's just so fucking painful to see someone who caused me so much pain, be regarded with such high praise. I only ever wanted to be your friend and you brushed me aside, like I was a speck of dirt that had the audacity to touch your shoulder. I don't know the point I'm trying to make here. I guess just be the nice person all of your friends and family think you are. Teach your kids to be nice. It's that simple. Just be kind.

I miss the days when I felt like my parents cared about me.

So I started drawing again. Honestly, it feels good. It's been 8 or 9 years since I really picked up a pencil and here I am splurging on copics. I hope I have more time for this in the future.

Patch progress! This vest is starting to look better than the old one! Just gotta do a touch more shading and they'll be ready to be sewn on. . . . #wip #patches #paint #painting #promptoargentum #prompto #ffxv #finalfantasy15 #cosplay #cosplayer https://www.instagram.com/p/BtzWTkgHVEL/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1p01pozt4x7nh

Finally getting around to making my new and improved Prompto vest. I absolutely love my original, but it's just way too big and looks awkward in photos.First thing on the list - the patches. Time to start painting! . . . #cosplay #wip #prompto #promptoargentum #finalfantasy #finalfantasyxv #ffxv #patches #painting https://www.instagram.com/p/BsjtY1UHuuw/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=g2xlkph7f7z2

Look at all these new dragons that got made while watching AGDQ. Even got to use the ultra shiny gold mirror scales! They'll all be up in the store soon. . . . #chainmaille #chainmaillejewelry #dragon #scales #mirrorscales #bracelets #madebyme https://www.instagram.com/p/BshexBtnfJi/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=ghjaldybgj2z

So glad you got rid of nsfw material. Now I can't follow some of my favorite artists, but at least I can still get propositioned by the porn bots. Thanks!

Now that she's seen it, I can show off my sister's Christmas present! It's not quite finished yet (still needs another shoulder) but it will be soon. . . . #chainmaille #scales #scaillemaille #splitrings #helmsweave #dragon #diamond #larping #larpgirl #archery #archer #dagorhir #handmade #madebyme #present #christmas https://www.instagram.com/p/Br85wQNHnSq/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=o8rrntztjyd9

Oh boy, I haven’t been here in literally forever. But anyway, I finally opened my etsy store for plushies and chainmail jewelry! Give it a look if you’re interested.

Me: You say that like it's a bad thing...