this is the oddest of tumblrs

Hi again,

So yeah, a few things to mention here:

My lack of knowledge about what an OC was at the time

The TITLE for crying out loud

‘Part. 1’ ? Seriously Lex?

‘My character actually has a name though-‘ yeah, an OC you freaking degenerate.

Probably would have been (at most) 500-1k words at best vs. now with my other account being upwards of 6-8k per chapter

Request: Alright guys this was not a request and I’m honestly still so new to tumblr that I haven’t figured out how to have requests be open and all that jazz. I dreamt this last night and was so happy I woke up crying, so I had to start writing before forgetting it all.

Enjoy.

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You sigh, looking at your reflection in the mirror from head to toe, feeling the butterflies in your stomach. Your wedding day was supposed to be full of happy tears and “I can’t believe its” but it seemed like everything was just the opposite. Your mother stood behind you and looked in your direction through the mirror, thinking the same thing. She felt for you, she knew you were anything but happy but you convinced yourself that you were. “You look absolutely gorgeous” she smiled. A tear escaped your eye, the dress was gorgeous, but it was picked in a hurry, so it wasn’t everything you dreamed of. You dabbed away the other tears to prevent them from escaping your eyes so they wouldn’t ruin your makeup.

“I know honey.. look at it this way, you can always get a divorce” she tried consolidating you, but you knew you’d finally gain the respect you always wanted from your dad once you exchanged “I do’s”.

Your fathers company was going under, and the only way to get back on top was to marry the son of the biggest CEO, then what’s his would be yours, and the money would go straight to the company’s funding and you’d be the best thing to ever happen to your dad. Your parents were divorced, and while you did live on your own, you always saw yourself spending more time with your mother anyway because all your father ever talked about was the money, not your life. He didn’t even show up to your college graduation, and it was then that you thought you’d finally gained his respect.

That wasn’t the case.

Your sister, who was also your maid of honor, made her way over to you with your veil in hand. You told her everything, she knew exactly what you were feeling in this moment, and she cried for you, hating to see you so miserable.

Your dad always preferred her over you, she graduated with a PhD in law and owns her own firm. You went to school and got your bachelors in music technology, you eventually became a music producer and was really happy with your life, that is until your Dad needed help.

“Knock, knock! Hope no one is naked in here!” you followed the sudden voice to the door, followed by your niece’s tiny 5 year old feet running to it and opening the door, revealing your best friend in the entire world, Brendon. The women in the room all giggled at his entrance, he was pretty well known to make jokes at times like these.

He looked so handsome in everything he wore, suits especially. You stared at him talking to your sister and greeting all the othe bridesmaids in the room and you really couldn’t help how fucking good looking he was, he made your cheeks pink. He was wearing this gorgeous black suit with his initials embossed into his cuff links, you had gotten those for him for Christmas one year. He and your fiancé never got along, Brendon was always so sarcastic and loud and your fiancé was so.... not.

You thought it was because he grew up sucking on a silver spoon where as neither you nor Brendon did. Sure, Brendon was successful now, with his Grammy nominations and worldwide tours and number one hits, but he went through a lot of loss and hard work to get here.

You turned around and finally made eye contact with the brown eyed boy, your heart swooned, but you told yourself it was the rockstar fumes getting to you.

“Oh y/n” he said, looking you up and down, he could eat you up right then and there. He knew he loved you the moment you stepped foot into Fueled by Ramen studios. You brought him a shaken up can of red bull on accident as an intern and it exploded all over the both of you, everyone else seemed like they were upset but Brendon laughed.

He then followed you into the break room where there was a small kitchen with a sink, that’s where you instantly clicked. But it’s also where the immediate sexual tension started, he felt it all the time when he was with you, but you suppressed it, thinking you’d get into lots of trouble. It was because of Brendon that you quickly moved from intern to co-producer in a month or so.

Brendon’s love for you was extremely evident, but you never knew it. He did everything he could just to get you to smile, when you’d rant to him over the phone while he was touring it never mattered what time it was or how tired he was, he missed the sound of your voice.

“You look..”

“Pretty-“

“Beautiful. Just- beautiful” he continued. Brendon did make your heart swell up a bit though, especially when he said the most endearing things like this to you. Little did you know though, his heart was shattering since the minute he woke up this morning. He didn’t know why he was even going to your wedding, but the guys had convinced him that you’d be sad he didn’t show up.

They were in the middle of tour, it would’ve been a perfect excuse to not go. He wouldn’t want to miss this opportunity though, he would get to see a glimpse of what his future could look like. Tears slightly rimmed his big brown eyes, he was so happy for you, but it was taken over by his broken heart. Impossible year was written the same night you told him your fiancé proposed and you had accepted.

“Can you guys give us a sec?” You asked everyone in the room, they scurried out of the room and you were finally alone with Brendon. You both sat down on the small couch in the room, smoothing out your dress in the process. “God, y/n. Josh is one lucky guy” he started. You smiled, he knew how unhappy you were, but that you were so determined to get the acceptance from your father. Tears spilled out of your eyes, you never wanted Brendon to see you this way, but the panic inside wouldn’t stop building up.

“I can’t-...I can’t do th-this.” you pant, sobbing, on the verge of wailing out. You were strong, but marrying someone you had no connection with was not on your agenda.

“Darlin’ don’t cry, it’s your wedding day! We want happy tears sweetheart” he smiled. You began to giggle through your tears. Your heart was aching, you felt like life wasn’t real, like the world stopped when you said yes. Brendon stroked his thumb across your cheek, wiping away your tears. He handed you his pocket square and you proceeded to clean up the runny mascara from your face.

“I hate this dress Brendon it’s-“

“What are you talking about? You look gorgeous, you’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen” he wiggled his eyebrows together, trying to understand why such a beautiful specimen like yourself would hate a dress that makes you look like you were sent straight from heaven.

“This isn’t me” you reply, Brendon nodding. Sometimes he knew you better than you knew yourself, and you didn’t need to admit anything to him, because he knew you loved him the same way he did you. He suppressed those feelings though, for fear of complicating the amazing relationship you had together. You didn’t know though.

He dreamt of you almost nightly, marrying him instead of Joshua. He occasionally would find himself writing about you, you were his muse. He wouldn’t have gone on tour most recently had he not written that last song about you.

You were a huge blessing.

——

I’m reading this back a little over a year later in my drafts and yeah, I’m still trash for Brendon Urie. Also, from reading what I posted on the other account, my writing has totally improved! :)

Today is my birthday, and also, it’s the start of my roaring 20’s so that’s kinda crazy. I will be listening to roaring 20’s all day thank you very much. I went to my second ever panic concert in the second leg of the tour on Valentine’s Day ❤️ now I have two tour shirts with first leg dates and now the second leg dates :3

Another update, I’m sorry I haven’t been too active, I have another fan account that I will not let you follow (unless you’d like to dm me for the user if you’re for it). I’ve been writing so much fanfic on it and just haven’t had inspo in this blog but I’m looking to get back on track very soon.

The other account I have now has over 450+ followers which is fucking crazy because I didn’t think people would like my writing that much. I’ve been reblogged hundreds of times and it’s so heartwarming to see that I’m getting a lot of engagement. I haven’t had that one nowhere near as long as I’ve had this user and it has more than three times the amount of followers I have here. For those who DO follow me, hi I love you🖤 thanks for the support.

And yes, expect updates soon :)

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