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š¹ Ā š ā” Ā ą£Ŗ × Ā š„» Ā Ā cupidrealm Ā ą±æ š Ā a Ā private Ā and Ā selective Ā writing Ā blog Ā featuring Ā original Ā characters Ā facing Ā the Ā loneliness Ā of Ā early Ā adulthood, the Ā silver Ā linings Ā of Ā life Ā & Ā love Ā that Ā consumes. Ā handcrafted Ā by Ā eve, Ā she/fae, Ā 21+. Ā this Ā blog Ā is Ā beta Ā locked.
guidelines. Ā ą© Ā plotlines. Ā ą© Ā muses. Ā ą©
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really behind on ims and discord so im just gonna post my url instead of individually following whoever i havent yet</3 my new blog is @berrycure !!!!! <3
moved blogs! let me know if you want the link <3 please only follow if you intend on actually writing with me.. my free time has waned </3 and i need to limit the amount of writing partners i have atm !!!
š¹ Ā š ā” Ā ą£Ŗ × Ā š„» Ā Ā theĀ Ā space Ā silas Ā bridgesĀ Ā between Ā them Ā doesn't Ā bring Ā her Ā the Ā comfort Ā it Ā normally Ā would. Ā acidity Ā pools Ā in Ā her Ā chest Ā and Ā prompts Ā bile Ā to Ā her Ā throat Ā ; Ā she Ā can't Ā remember Ā a Ā time Ā he Ā made Ā her Ā feel Ā so Ā worthless. Ā when Ā the Ā mention Ā of Ā girl Ā being Ā too Ā good Ā for Ā him Ā is Ā made, Ā it Ā only Ā elicits Ā a Ā reaction Ā of Ā disgust. Ā her Ā heart Ā is Ā in Ā the Ā middle Ā of Ā the Ā road, Ā open-faced Ā and Ā ready Ā to Ā be Ā run Ā over, Ā with Ā silas Ā as Ā the Ā driving Ā force. Ā fingertips Ā move Ā to Ā shove Ā at Ā his Ā chest, Ā no Ā longer Ā wanting Ā to Ā be Ā in Ā such Ā proximity. Ā Ā ā Ā Ā that's Ā the Ā most Ā bullshit Ā i've Ā ever Ā heard Ā from Ā you. Ā Ā ā Ā Ā eyelids Ā are Ā forced Ā shut Ā in Ā an Ā attempt Ā to Ā halt Ā the Ā tears Ā from Ā forming. Ā it Ā doesn't Ā work. Ā when Ā she Ā closes Ā her Ā eyes, Ā all Ā she Ā sees Ā is Ā him. Ā she Ā sees Ā them. Ā sees Ā him Ā and Ā her Ā ā Ā the Ā distinction Ā is Ā a Ā tribute Ā to Ā the Ā fact Ā that Ā there Ā was Ā no Ā them Ā outsideĀ Ā ofĀ Ā her Ā illusions. Ā Ā ā Ā Ā i'm Ā not Ā a Ā fucking Ā child, Ā silas. Ā stop Ā talking Ā to Ā me Ā like Ā one Ā and Ā stop Ā trying Ā toĀ Ā convince Ā yourself Ā that Ā i'm Ā just Ā too Ā innocent Ā as Ā an Ā excuseĀ Ā forĀ Ā being Ā a Ā shit Ā friend Ā to Ā me. Ā Ā ā Ā Ā the Ā words Ā that Ā follow Ā feel Ā nothing Ā short Ā of Ā a Ā slap Ā to Ā the Ā face Ā ; Ā it's Ā both Ā a Ā confirmation Ā and Ā reminder Ā that Ā the Ā importance Ā she Ā placed Ā in Ā him Ā had Ā never Ā really Ā been Ā reciprocated. Ā Ā ā Ā Ā how Ā could Ā you Ā say Ā that Ā to Ā me Ā ? Ā how Ā could Ā you Ā look Ā at Ā me Ā and Ā genuinely Ā say Ā that Ā ? Ā Ā ā Ā Ā isn't Ā really Ā sure Ā what Ā or Ā why Ā she's Ā even Ā asking Ā anymore. Ā Ā ā Ā Ā making Ā it Ā sound Ā like Ā i'm Ā obsessed Ā with Ā you. Ā that's Ā just Ā what Ā caring Ā about Ā someone Ā is Ā like Ā ā Ā you Ā wouldn't Ā know, Ā since Ā you Ā aren't Ā capable Ā of Ā giving Ā or Ā receiving Ā it. Ā Ā ā
finally done revamping my blog but quite honestly am in the mood to headcanon does anyone wanna discuss our ships... perhaps plan some future threads/ideas.. some musings </3
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š¹ Ā š ā” Ā ą£Ŗ × Ā š„» Ā Ā the Ā prospect Ā of Ā moving Ā somewhere Ā sunnier Ā was Ā daunting Ā for Ā someone Ā who Ā took Ā sanctuary Ā in Ā much Ā gloomier Ā climates. Ā spring Ā is Ā the Ā season Ā he Ā wants Ā to Ā avoid Ā the Ā most Ā ā Ā the Ā season Ā that Ā reminds Ā him Ā of Ā loss. Ā this Ā time Ā around, Ā he Ā supposes Ā it'll Ā be Ā a Ā little Ā different,Ā becauseĀ Ā this Ā time Ā around, Ā he Ā has Ā someone Ā to Ā share Ā it Ā with. Ā still, Ā the Ā reminder Ā of Ā a Ā brief Ā pause Ā in Ā their Ā companionship Ā is Ā enough Ā to Ā leave Ā august Ā anxious. Ā it's Ā what Ā leads Ā him Ā to Ā minji Ā now, Ā hands Ā full Ā in Ā what Ā appears Ā to Ā be Ā a Ā poor Ā attempt Ā at Ā a Ā wrapped Ā present. Ā Ā ā Ā Ā it's Ā just Ā something Ā stupid, Ā for Ā our Ā new Ā place. Ā so Ā you Ā can Ā see Ā it Ā and Ā think Ā of Ā me Ā when Ā we're Ā not Ā together. Ā Ā ā Ā Ā he Ā overexplains, Ā bringing Ā up Ā theirĀ Ā separation Ā in Ā a Ā nonchalant Ā manner. Ā she'll Ā have Ā no Ā idea Ā it Ā eats Ā away Ā at Ā him. Ā Ā ā Ā Ā you Ā getting Ā excited Ā to Ā leave Ā ? Ā there's Ā not Ā long Ā left Ā now. Ā Ā ā Ā
šæĀ Ā ā Ā āĀ ĖĀ źĀ Ā somehow, Ā in Ā depths Ā of Ā plastered Ā cerebrum, Ā does Ā he Ā believe Ā being Ā passed Ā out Ā on Ā the Ā side Ā of Ā a Ā curb Ā somewhere Ā to Ā be Ā superior Ā than Ā dealing Ā with Ā whatever Ā this Ā was Ā ā Ā someone, Ā the Ā personification Ā of Ā aphrodite's Ā daughter Ā he Ā had Ā measured Ā not Ā too Ā long Ā ago, Ā worrying Ā about Ā him Ā for Ā once Ā in Ā livelihood Ā ... Ā what Ā a Ā rare Ā occurrence Ā it Ā was. Ā an Ā uncertainty Ā brewing Ā in Ā abdomen Ā and Ā mixing Ā with Ā the Ā liquor Ā that Ā pools Ā there Ā a Ā cauldron Ā for Ā mixed Ā feelings Ā that Ā consume Ā fuzzy Ā cranium Ā entirely. Ā ā Ā i Ā was Ā with Ā someone Ā ā Ā i Ā was Ā with Ā multiple Ā someones. Ā ā Ā temple Ā is Ā pressing Ā into Ā raised Ā limb Ā thats Ā pressed Ā against Ā wall, Ā whole Ā room Ā spinning Ā around Ā him Ā as Ā he Ā unearths Ā his Ā only Ā strength Ā in Ā leaning Ā against Ā ivory Ā paint. Ā ā Ā it's Ā like Ā four Ā in Ā the Ā morning, Ā ash. Ā you Ā shouldn't Ā be Ā here Ā ... Ā i Ā told Ā you Ā i Ā don't Ā need Ā someone Ā checking Ā up Ā on Ā me. Ā i Ā hate Ā when Ā you Ā see Ā me Ā like Ā this. Ā ā Ā it Ā was Ā more Ā for Ā his Ā sake, Ā lack Ā of Ā knowledge Ā on Ā his Ā late Ā night Ā activities Ā meaning Ā less Ā of Ā this Ā ā Ā less Ā worrying, Ā less Ā sadness Ā he Ā can Ā practically Ā feel Ā radiating Ā off Ā silky Ā dermis. Ā little Ā desire Ā for Ā him Ā to Ā be Ā remembered Ā as Ā some Ā drunk Ā in Ā her Ā mind, Ā wanting Ā to Ā hold Ā on Ā to Ā what Ā little Ā dignity Ā he Ā had Ā left Ā in Ā how Ā she Ā envisioned Ā him.Ā Ā Ā
š¹ Ā š ā” Ā ą£Ŗ × Ā š„» Ā Ā it's Ā almost Ā pathetic Ā how Ā she Ā manages Ā to Ā neglect Ā her Ā own Ā needs Ā in Ā favor Ā of Ā his. Ā she Ā wears Ā her Ā heart Ā on Ā her Ā sleeve Ā and Ā wears Ā the Ā hurt Ā there Ā too. Ā the Ā cycle Ā the Ā pair Ā finds Ā themselves Ā in Ā is Ā a Ā dead Ā end Ā and Ā for Ā once Ā does Ā ash Ā hope Ā to Ā prioritize Ā own Ā selfishness. Ā she Ā never Ā does. Ā Ā ā Ā Ā what Ā is Ā multiple Ā persons Ā supposed Ā to Ā mean Ā ? Ā are Ā you Ā hinting Ā at Ā a Ā party Ā or Ā a Ā threesome Ā ? Ā i Ā don't Ā get Ā why Ā you Ā need Ā to Ā be Ā so Ā vague Ā all Ā the Ā time Ā ! Ā i'm Ā your Ā best Ā friend. Ā Ā ā Ā Ā the Ā reminder Ā she Ā manages Ā to Ā slip Ā is Ā nothing Ā but Ā casual, Ā although Ā she's Ā certain Ā the Ā implication Ā behind Ā syllables Ā won't Ā go Ā noticed. Ā the Ā term Ā best Ā friend Ā settles Ā uncomfortably Ā on Ā her Ā tongue, Ā clawing Ā at Ā the Ā margins Ā of Ā her Ā throat Ā with Ā the Ā weight Ā of Ā wanting Ā to Ā develop Ā into Ā something Ā further. Ā something Ā real. Ā only Ā for Ā a Ā moment Ā does Ā she Ā allow Ā herself Ā to Ā muse Ā a Ā reality Ā that Ā wasn'tĀ her Ā own. Ā Ā ā Ā Ā whether Ā or Ā not Ā i Ā see Ā you Ā like Ā this Ā doesn't Ā change Ā the Ā fact Ā that Ā you'll Ā drink Ā yourself Ā stupid Ā and Ā i'll Ā be Ā aware Ā of Ā it. Ā Ā ā Ā Ā a Ā harsh Ā truth Ā spoken Ā from Ā little Ā patience Ā in Ā preserving Ā his Ā own Ā wishes. Ā she Ā licks Ā her Ā lips Ā and Ā tastes Ā tears. Ā Ā ā Ā Ā can't Ā you Ā see Ā how Ā dangerous Ā this Ā is Ā for Ā you, Ā or Ā how Ā much Ā it Ā worries Ā me Ā ? Ā Ā ā Ā Ā does Ā he Ā even Ā care Ā ?
Ā Ā Ā Ā thank you so much. for what? for being my friend. friend? yes, iāve never had a friend before. i had no one at all, actually. to be honestā¦ can you do me a favor? can you not disappear on me? what makes you think that i will disappear? iā¦ i donāt know. i just have a feeling that you will disappear once youāve had your fun, or once you are satisfied. i really like being with you.
šæĀ Ā ā Ā āĀ ĖĀ źĀ Ā she Ā hated Ā train Ā rides. Ā having Ā seen Ā one Ā too Ā many Ā movies; Ā train Ā to Ā busan, Ā bullet Ā train, Ā murder Ā on Ā the Ā orient Ā express Ā ā Ā you Ā name Ā it, Ā there Ā was Ā no Ā possible Ā way Ā of Ā stopping Ā her Ā mind Ā from Ā imagining Ā the Ā absolute Ā worst. Ā incessant Ā tapping Ā of Ā leg Ā to Ā subdue Ā her Ā blossoming Ā anxiety Ā as Ā train Ā prepares Ā to Ā depart Ā station Ā is Ā doing Ā little Ā to Ā nothing Ā for Ā increasing Ā heartbeat, Ā doe Ā - Ā like Ā orbs Ā glued Ā to Ā scenery Ā just Ā outside Ā window Ā partially Ā blocked Ā by Ā frame Ā beside Ā her. Ā it Ā was Ā a Ā view Ā that Ā caused Ā breath Ā to Ā even Ā out Ā ... Ā a Ā lightbulb Ā that Ā brightens Ā in Ā cerebrum Ā when Ā inquiry Ā posed Ā for Ā opposite Ā is Ā thought Ā of. Ā ā Ā excuse Ā me, Ā ā Ā manicured Ā tips Ā tap Ā at Ā limb Ā ever Ā so Ā lightly, Ā gentle Ā beam Ā decorating Ā cherubic Ā countenance. Ā ā Ā do Ā you Ā mind Ā switching Ā seats Ā ? Ā i Ā just Ā ... Ā i'm Ā terrible Ā with Ā these Ā kinds Ā of Ā things Ā ā Ā one Ā too Ā many Ā movies, Ā you Ā know Ā ? Ā the Ā view Ā is Ā like Ā ... Ā the Ā only Ā thing Ā helping Ā right Ā now. Ā ā
š¹ Ā š ā” Ā ą£Ŗ × Ā š„» Ā Ā the Ā midnight Ā train Ā and Ā all Ā of Ā it's Ā dim Ā lighting Ā and Ā worn Ā seats Ā provide Ā a Ā comfort Ā that Ā the Ā limousines Ā she Ā spent Ā her Ā upbringing Ā ushered Ā between Ā never Ā offered. Ā it's Ā her Ā first Ā loss Ā in Ā the Ā last Ā eighteen Ā months. Ā what Ā was Ā deemed Ā a Ā night Ā to Ā remember Ā had Ā quickly Ā transformed Ā into Ā a Ā night Ā she'd Ā never Ā be Ā able Ā to Ā forget. Ā the Ā bile Ā stored Ā in Ā her Ā throat Ā is Ā a Ā testament Ā to Ā the Ā disappointment Ā she Ā feels Ā and Ā only Ā leaves behind Ā a Ā greater Ā wound. Ā feverish Ā warmth Ā of Ā her Ā forehead Ā lessening Ā as Ā skin Ā makes Ā contact Ā with Ā the Ā window Ā only Ā lasts Ā so Ā long Ā until Ā a Ā timid Ā voice Ā cuts Ā through Ā her Ā reverie. Ā Ā ā Ā Ā sure. Ā Ā ā Ā Ā the Ā response Ā is Ā involuntary Ā and Ā for a moment, she Ā almost Ā doubts Ā it Ā even Ā came Ā from Ā her Ā ; Ā brunette Ā never Ā really had Ā a Ā reputation Ā of Ā forfeiting Ā what Ā was Ā hers, Ā anyway. Ā she's Ā quick Ā to Ā collect Ā minimal Ā belongings Ā and Ā allow Ā the Ā other Ā to Ā settle Ā into Ā the Ā seat. Ā doesn't Ā go Ā without Ā noticing Ā the Ā evident Ā unease Ā on Ā otherwise Ā delicate Ā features. Ā pretty Ā features. Ā Ā ā Ā Ā terrible Ā with Ā what, Ā trains Ā ? Ā i Ā don't Ā think Ā i've Ā heard Ā of Ā train Ā phobia Ā before. Ā why Ā take Ā the Ā night Ā train Ā if Ā you're Ā scared Ā ? Ā want Ā me Ā to Ā stay Ā awake Ā and Ā protect Ā you Ā ? Ā Ā ā Ā Ā teasing, Ā of Ā course.
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Ā Ā Ā canātĀ helpĀ theĀ sozzledĀ giggleĀ thatĀ willĀ escapeĀ throughĀ herĀ mouthĀ ,Ā followedĀ byĀ aĀ hiccupĀ asĀ handsĀ willĀ claspĀ overĀ herĀ mouthĀ inĀ completeĀ frightĀ .Ā Ā āĀ Ā whateverĀ makesĀ youĀ feelĀ betterĀ .Ā Ā āĀ Ā hadĀ aĀ tendencyĀ toĀ teeterĀ aroundĀ hisĀ feelingsĀ ,Ā evenĀ thoughĀ sheāsĀ entirelyĀ positiveĀ aĀ nightĀ outĀ onĀ theĀ townĀ withĀ bestĀ friendĀ wouldĀ resultĀ inĀ theĀ mostĀ humdrumĀ nightĀ sheĀ couldĀ putĀ herselfĀ throughĀ .Ā Ā āĀ Ā yesĀ .Ā youĀ willĀ absolutelyĀ cockĀ blockĀ meĀ ,Ā becauseĀ whoĀ isĀ goingĀ toĀ flirtĀ withĀ meĀ whenĀ youāreĀ rightĀ thereĀ breathingĀ downĀ myĀ neckĀ ?Ā iĀ wonātĀ evenĀ getĀ aĀ freeĀ drinkĀ .Ā āĀ besidesĀ ,Ā iĀ donātĀ thinkĀ theĀ placesĀ iĀ likeĀ areĀ reallyĀ yourĀ styleĀ .Ā Ā āĀ Ā digitsĀ willĀ moveĀ againstĀ theĀ padĀ ofĀ hisĀ phoneĀ ,Ā differentĀ numberĀ equationsĀ beingĀ putĀ inĀ toĀ unlockĀ theĀ deviceĀ .Ā Ā āĀ Ā donātĀ worryĀ .Ā iāllĀ figureĀ itĀ outĀ .Ā Ā āĀ Ā willĀ glanceĀ upĀ atĀ themĀ withĀ aĀ sparkleĀ inĀ huesĀ ,Ā shruggingĀ ofĀ shouldersĀ toĀ followĀ alongĀ withĀ anotherĀ hiccupĀ inĀ diaphragmĀ .Ā Ā āĀ Ā iĀ donātĀ knowĀ .Ā youĀ haveĀ threeĀ headsĀ rightĀ nowĀ andĀ itāsĀ reallyĀ funnyĀ .Ā Ā āĀ Ā shouldĀ signalĀ justĀ howĀ drunkĀ sheĀ hadĀ beenĀ atĀ theĀ momentĀ ,Ā indexĀ fingerĀ extendingĀ outĀ toĀ placeĀ aĀ softĀ touchĀ onĀ theĀ edgeĀ ofĀ hisĀ noseĀ .Ā
š¹ Ā š ā” Ā ą£Ŗ × Ā š„» Ā Ā like Ā a Ā deer Ā caught Ā in Ā headlights, Ā the Ā ridicule Ā he Ā feels Ā is Ā written Ā all Ā over Ā his Ā features. Ā a Ā theatrical Ā sigh Ā as Ā he Ā exclaims, Ā Ā ā Ā Ā you Ā think Ā i'm Ā boring Ā as Ā fuck. Ā Ā ā Ā Ā the Ā statement Ā is Ā made Ā so Ā easily Ā and Ā while Ā he's Ā certainĀ Ā ( Ā read Ā : Ā he's Ā hopeful Ā ) Ā it Ā isn't Ā entirely Ā accurate, Ā he Ā can't Ā help Ā but Ā feel Ā that Ā the Ā declaration Ā holds Ā some Ā truth. Ā he Ā hasn't Ā been Ā the Ā most Ā fun Ā to Ā be Ā around Ā these Ā days. Ā grief Ā was Ā a Ā funny Ā thing, Ā pouring Ā guilt Ā throughout Ā his Ā chest Ā and Ā filling Ā him Ā with Ā the Ā need Ā to Ā prove Ā her Ā wrong. Ā Ā ā Ā Ā i'm Ā your Ā best Ā friend Ā and Ā you Ā would Ā hate Ā to Ā be Ā seen Ā with Ā me. Ā i Ā don't Ā know Ā how Ā to Ā process. Ā Ā ā Ā seizing Ā the Ā opportunity, Ā he Ā sinks Ā into Ā couch Ā cushions Ā as Ā his Ā cellphone Ā is Ā surrendered Ā to Ā her Ā grasp. Ā Ā ā Ā Ā i'll Ā prove Ā you Ā wrong. Ā we'll Ā go Ā to Ā any Ā club Ā in Ā the Ā city Ā with Ā the Ā strictest Ā guest Ā list Ā and Ā i Ā promise Ā you'll Ā have Ā the Ā time Ā of Ā your Ā life. Ā Ā you Ā won't Ā need Ā to Ā flirt Ā for Ā free Ā drinks Ā when Ā i'm Ā there, Ā anyway. Ā Ā ā Ā Ā as Ā if Ā she Ā would Ā flirt Ā with Ā him Ā for Ā any Ā reason, Ā but Ā it Ā was Ā fun Ā to Ā muse. Ā Ā ā Ā Ā do Ā you Ā poke Ā the Ā noses Ā of Ā every Ā guy Ā you Ā flirt Ā with Ā ? Ā cause Ā if Ā so, Ā it's Ā a Ā shitty Ā attempt. Ā Ā ā
š¹ Ā š Ā ā” Ā ą£Ŗ × Ā š„» Ā Ā ā Ā Ā when Ā are Ā you Ā going Ā to Ā just Ā be Ā honest Ā with Ā me Ā and Ā admit Ā Ā she Ā doesn't Ā like Ā me Ā very Ā much Ā ? Ā Ā ā Ā Ā their Ā words Ā take Ā the Ā form Ā of Ā a Ā question, Ā and Ā while Ā it Ā sounds Ā accusatory Ā in Ā nature, Ā her Ā tone Ā is Ā something Ā a Ā little Ā more Ā desolate. Ā Ā they Ā don't Ā want Ā to Ā give Ā up Ā ā Ā not Ā like Ā the Ā choice Ā is Ā entirely Ā their Ā own, Ā anyway. Ā Ā āĀ Ā justĀ Ā be Ā honest, Ā is Ā she Ā the Ā reason Ā you Ā just Ā woke Ā up Ā one Ā day Ā and Ā decided Ā we Ā should Ā stop Ā being Ā friends Ā ? Ā Ā āĀ
starter Ā for Ā @onlineloverĀ ļ¹ ź±
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā okayĀ .Ā Ā āĀ Ā simplyĀ putĀ beforeĀ femaleĀ isĀ liftingĀ herselfĀ fromĀ theĀ mattressĀ ,Ā messĀ ofĀ hairĀ beingĀ placedĀ behindĀ herĀ shouldersĀ asĀ opticsĀ areĀ glancingĀ aroundĀ flooringĀ toĀ catchĀ sightĀ ofĀ anyĀ garmentsĀ ofĀ clothingĀ sheĀ seemedĀ toĀ beĀ wearingĀ lastĀ nightĀ .Ā Ā āĀ Ā ewĀ .Ā weĀ definitelyĀ didĀ notĀ cuddleĀ ..Ā iĀ wouldnātĀ doĀ thatĀ .Ā āĀ nowĀ ..Ā canĀ youĀ pleaseĀ helpĀ meĀ findĀ myĀ clothesĀ ?Ā youĀ couldnātĀ ofĀ thrownĀ themĀ thatĀ farĀ .Ā Ā āĀ Ā capriciousĀ grumbleĀ fromĀ herĀ vocalĀ chordsĀ beforeĀ catchingĀ windĀ ofĀ theĀ suggestionsĀ onĀ whatĀ theĀ twosomeĀ couldĀ doĀ forĀ breakfastĀ ;Ā andĀ thoughĀ ,Ā stomachĀ isĀ growlingĀ dueĀ toĀ theĀ growingĀ hungerĀ sheĀ wasĀ feelingĀ ,Ā obstinateĀ traitsĀ wouldĀ swiftlyĀ overrideĀ thatĀ .Ā Ā āĀ Ā donātĀ beĀ grossĀ .Ā iāmĀ notĀ evenĀ hungryĀ ,Ā andĀ iāmĀ notĀ interestedĀ inĀ theĀ weekĀ oldĀ pizzaĀ inĀ theĀ backĀ ofĀ yourĀ fridgeĀ .Ā Ā āĀ Ā willĀ bringĀ herĀ statureĀ overĀ toĀ settleĀ inĀ frontĀ ofĀ himĀ ,Ā promptlyĀ endingĀ theĀ searchĀ andĀ findĀ forĀ herĀ belongingsĀ .Ā Ā āĀ Ā iĀ didnātĀ meanĀ toĀ spendĀ theĀ nightĀ .Ā iĀ justĀ gotĀ tooĀ tiredĀ ..Ā andĀ itĀ happenedĀ .Ā donātĀ getĀ yourĀ hopesĀ upĀ thinkingĀ itāsĀ goingĀ toĀ happenĀ againĀ .Ā Ā āĀ Ā butĀ ,Ā sheĀ didĀ wantĀ itĀ toĀ happenĀ againĀ .Ā andĀ againĀ afterĀ thatĀ .Ā
š„ Ā ā¦ Ā ā” Ā Ź¾ Ā ą±æ š Ā Ā shoulders Ā perch Ā against Ā the Ā open Ā doorframe Ā to Ā his Ā bedroom Ā while Ā he Ā watches Ā aria Ā collect Ā her Ā belongings Ā within Ā no Ā particular Ā feeling Ā stirring Ā within Ā him. Ā at Ā least, Ā not Ā any Ā he's Ā able Ā to Ā identify Ā with Ā the Ā better Ā half Ā of Ā his Ā senses. Ā still, Ā a Ā small, Ā hopeful Ā part Ā of Ā him Ā takes Ā the Ā lead Ā in Ā his Ā speech, Ā Ā ā Ā Ā it Ā sucks Ā you're Ā not Ā hungry Ā because Ā i Ā definitely Ā did Ā wake Ā up Ā earlier Ā to Ā cook Ā for Ā you Ā and Ā i Ā did Ā get Ā your Ā coffee Ā order. Ā i'm Ā offended Ā you Ā don't Ā think Ā i'd Ā pay Ā attention Ā to Ā things Ā like Ā that. Ā Ā ā Ā Ā displays Ā of Ā affection Ā had Ā always Ā been Ā foreign Ā to Ā the Ā pair Ā and Ā he's Ā unsure Ā why Ā this Ā time Ā is Ā any Ā different. Ā he Ā won't Ā dare Ā pause Ā to Ā question Ā his Ā own Ā sudden Ā change Ā of Ā heart. Ā Ā ā Ā Ā i Ā won't Ā get Ā my Ā hopes Ā up Ā if Ā you're Ā so Ā adamant Ā about Ā it. Ā i'll Ā just Ā get Ā creative Ā in Ā finding Ā ways Ā to Ā have Ā you Ā change Ā your Ā mind. Ā Ā ā Ā Ā if Ā his Ā uncharacteristic Ā good Ā mood Ā hadn't Ā been Ā evident Ā already, Ā there's Ā no Ā denying Ā it Ā now. Ā Ā ā Ā Ā it's Ā getting Ā hard Ā to Ā believe Ā that Ā you Ā hate Ā me Ā though Ā ā Ā what Ā do Ā i Ā need Ā to Ā do Ā to Ā get Ā you Ā to Ā admit Ā your Ā crush Ā on Ā me Ā ? Ā Ā ā
šæĀ Ā ā Ā āĀ ĖĀ źĀ Ā rock Ā glass Ā ghosts Ā petals, Ā frame Ā crowding Ā bar Ā for Ā a Ā duration Ā of Ā time Ā becoming Ā his Ā own Ā domain. Ā his Ā secondary Ā gig Ā to Ā day Ā job Ā ā Ā patronage Ā bustling Ā towards Ā illuminated Ā countertop Ā for Ā their Ā fix Ā of Ā the Ā night Ā before Ā vanishing Ā into Ā crowd Ā of Ā bumbling Ā bodies Ā leaving Ā dealer Ā in Ā his Ā lonesome Ā to Ā sip Ā at Ā concoction Ā brewing Ā in Ā chalice. Ā being Ā life Ā of Ā the Ā party Ā his Ā least Ā of Ā concerns Ā ... Ā irises Ā littered Ā with Ā dollar Ā signs Ā as Ā business Ā is Ā ever Ā so Ā hustling. Ā at Ā resonance Ā of Ā other Ā does Ā straight Ā posture Ā falter, Ā neck Ā craning Ā towards Ā stained Ā tabletop Ā studying Ā mixed Ā drink Ā so Ā as Ā to Ā avoid Ā eye Ā contact. Ā ā Ā i Ā thought Ā flirting Ā with Ā patrons Ā was Ā strictly Ā prohibited Ā on Ā the Ā clock Ā ? Ā ā Ā ignores Ā spirit Ā of Ā inquiry, Ā his Ā excuse Ā being Ā her Ā mere Ā existence. Ā had Ā ruled Ā her Ā presence Ā to Ā be Ā a Ā distraction Ā from Ā business Ā to Ā be Ā pursued, Ā succumbing Ā to Ā her Ā was Ā easy Ā ā Ā falling Ā in Ā love Ā the Ā last Ā thing Ā he Ā desired Ā and Ā was Ā she Ā ever Ā so Ā temping. Ā ā Ā i'm Ā almost Ā certain Ā there's Ā other Ā people Ā in Ā here Ā who Ā would Ā appreciate Ā someone Ā pretty Ā breaking Ā the Ā rules Ā for Ā them Ā more Ā than Ā i Ā ever Ā could Ā ... Ā sure Ā you Ā could Ā find Ā one Ā easily. Ā ā
š„ Ā ā¦ Ā ā” Ā Ź¾ Ā ą±æ š Ā Ā she Ā feigns Ā a Ā look Ā of Ā disgust Ā that's Ā accentuated Ā by Ā a Ā grimace Ā that Ā colors Ā her Ā expression. Ā Ā ā Ā Ā please Ā don't Ā insinuate Ā i'd Ā be Ā wasting Ā my Ā time Ā here Ā flirting Ā with Ā you Ā ā Ā we're Ā in Ā public. Ā someone Ā might Ā overthink Ā and Ā get Ā the Ā wrong Ā idea. Ā Ā ā Ā Ā except Ā for Ā the Ā fact Ā that Ā the Ā situation Ā is Ā incriminating Ā ; Ā she's Ā doing Ā exactly Ā that. Ā whether Ā or Ā not Ā she Ā despises Ā self Ā for Ā it Ā is Ā neither Ā here Ā nor Ā there. Ā Ā ā Ā Ā this Ā whole Ā business Ā is Ā standing Ā because Ā of Ā my Ā flirting Ā with Ā patrons, Ā actually. Ā i Ā thought Ā you Ā would Ā know, Ā since Ā you Ā go Ā around Ā handing Ā out Ā your Ā own Ā business Ā cards. Ā Ā āĀ Ā there's Ā no Ā need Ā to Ā elaborate Ā further. Ā a Ā lull Ā settles Ā over Ā them Ā despite Ā the Ā offensive Ā bass Ā reverberating Ā throughout Ā club. Ā the Ā truth Ā is Ā getting Ā more Ā difficult Ā for Ā her Ā to Ā run Ā away Ā from. Ā it's Ā obvious Ā in Ā the Ā way Ā he's Ā the Ā sole Ā person Ā present Ā who's Ā managed Ā to Ā capture Ā her Ā attention. Ā wonders Ā if Ā it Ā has Ā something Ā to Ā do Ā with Ā the Ā way Ā she Ā can Ā never Ā hold Ā his. Ā Ā ā Ā Ā why Ā are Ā you Ā trying Ā to Ā get Ā rid Ā of Ā me Ā so Ā soon Ā ? Ā i'm Ā sure Ā those Ā cokeheadĀ Ā friends Ā of Ā yours Ā can Ā wait Ā a Ā minute Ā or Ā two Ā so Ā you Ā can Ā tell Ā me Ā you Ā missed Ā me. Ā Ā ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā excitementĀ canĀ onlyĀ beĀ containedĀ withinĀ theĀ confinementsĀ ofĀ herĀ chestĀ asĀ sheĀ acknowledgesĀ brunetteĀ saunteringĀ acrossĀ theĀ flooringĀ andĀ overĀ toĀ herĀ personalĀ bubbleĀ ,Ā armsĀ crossedĀ amongstĀ herĀ ownĀ thoraxĀ asĀ eyesĀ willĀ rollĀ intoĀ backĀ ofĀ herĀ craniumĀ hearingĀ theĀ smugĀ remarksĀ comeĀ fromĀ cameronāsĀ lipsĀ ..Ā oneāsĀ thatĀ sheĀ missedĀ pressingĀ herĀ ownĀ ontoĀ .Ā Ā āĀ Ā weāreĀ inĀ aĀ goodĀ placeĀ nowĀ ,Ā andĀ iĀ decidedĀ iĀ wouldĀ bringĀ aĀ plusĀ oneĀ toĀ theĀ partyĀ .Ā youĀ thinkĀ iĀ wouldĀ justĀ lieĀ aboutĀ havingĀ aĀ boyfriendĀ ?Ā Ā āĀ Ā lastĀ wordĀ seemsĀ toĀ beĀ elongatedĀ toĀ furtherĀ driveĀ homeĀ theĀ factĀ ofĀ realityĀ ,Ā Ā āĀ Ā andĀ iāmĀ still ignoringĀ youĀ .Ā whichĀ bringsĀ meĀ toĀ myĀ nextĀ questionĀ ..Ā whatĀ areĀ youĀ doingĀ overĀ hereĀ talkingĀ toĀ meĀ ?Ā Ā āĀ Ā eyebrowsĀ willĀ creaseĀ togetherĀ toĀ indicateĀ herĀ distressĀ ,Ā basketĀ ofĀ emotionsĀ overflowingĀ inĀ theĀ pitĀ ofĀ herĀ stomachĀ thatĀ sheĀ wouldĀ tryĀ herĀ bestĀ toĀ maskĀ consideringĀ theĀ braveĀ faceĀ sheĀ wouldĀ haveĀ toĀ putĀ onĀ forĀ significantĀ otherĀ .Ā
š„ Ā ā¦ Ā ā” Ā Ź¾ Ā ą±æ š Ā Ā the Ā bitterness Ā aimed Ā his Ā way Ā is Ā so Ā unlike Ā her. Ā it's Ā the Ā first Ā thing Ā he Ā notices Ā and Ā it's Ā a Ā trait Ā he'll Ā never Ā get Ā used Ā to. Ā he Ā isn't Ā doing Ā a Ā good Ā job Ā at Ā hiding Ā his Ā own Ā annoyance, Ā allowing Ā a Ā scoff Ā to Ā exit Ā parted Ā brims. Ā Ā ā Ā Ā so Ā you're Ā in Ā a Ā good Ā place Ā once Ā you Ā go Ā completely Ā silent Ā on Ā me Ā ? Ā i'm Ā happy Ā for Ā you, Ā really. Ā it Ā takes Ā a Ā lot Ā of Ā maturity Ā sacrificingĀ Ā what Ā you Ā really Ā want Ā to Ā try Ā saving Ā a Ā lost Ā cause. Ā Ā ā Ā Ā words Ā are Ā feather Ā light Ā as Ā they're Ā spoken Ā but Ā there's Ā no Ā denying Ā the Ā edge Ā to Ā his Ā timbre. Ā Ā ā Ā Ā sucks Ā you Ā couldn't Ā be Ā mature Ā enough Ā to Ā have Ā a Ā conversation Ā with Ā me Ā before Ā deciding Ā i Ā was Ā an Ā asshole. Ā Ā ā Ā Ā fingertips Ā pinch Ā at Ā the Ā skin Ā of Ā his Ā forearm, Ā a Ā sign Ā of Ā the Ā anxieties Ā he Ā harbors Ā coming Ā to Ā surface. Ā a Ā nervous Ā habit Ā she'd Ā pay Ā mind Ā to, Ā if Ā circumstances Ā were Ā different. Ā Ā ā Ā Ā i Ā should Ā be Ā asking Ā you Ā that. Ā really Ā wanna Ā leave Ā your Ā boyfriend Ā unattended Ā while Ā i'm Ā here Ā ? Ā i Ā think Ā he Ā and Ā i Ā could Ā bond Ā over Ā some Ā secrets. Ā Ā ā Ā
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š„ Ā ā¦ Ā ā” Ā Ź¾ Ā ą±æ š Ā Ā ā Ā Ā do Ā you Ā think Ā i Ā could Ā stay Ā at Ā yours Ā for Ā a Ā few Ā days Ā ? Ā Ā ā Ā Ā the Ā inquiry Ā is Ā paired Ā with Ā a Ā sniffle Ā that Ā serves Ā as Ā a Ā telltale Ā sign Ā that Ā she's Ā been Ā crying. Ā counterpart Ā wouldn't Ā be Ā able Ā to Ā notice Ā otherwise, Ā given Ā her Ā exceptional Ā talent Ā in Ā the Ā art Ā of Ā keeping Ā it Ā together. Ā Ā ā Ā Ā my Ā apartment Ā has Ā a Ā leak Ā and Ā they Ā forced Ā us Ā out Ā for Ā the Ā week Ā ā Ā plus, Ā i Ā missed Ā you. Ā it Ā feels Ā like Ā the Ā perfect Ā excuse Ā ! Ā ā
š„ Ā ā¦ Ā ā” Ā Ź¾ Ā ą±æ š Ā Ā ā Ā Ā i Ā don't Ā have Ā time Ā for Ā any Ā distractions Ā right Ā now. Ā Ā ā Ā Ā plainly Ā stated Ā because Ā they Ā can't Ā seem Ā to Ā muster Ā the Ā will Ā power Ā for Ā any Ā conviction. Ā not Ā with Ā the Ā way Ā his Ā days Ā have Ā been Ā quieter Ā and Ā his Ā life Ā has Ā been Ā lonelier. Ā what Ā they Ā don't Ā know Ā won't Ā hurt Ā them. Ā against Ā better Ā judgement, Ā he'll Ā suggest, Ā Ā ā Ā Ā you Ā know Ā how Ā much Ā i Ā like Ā being Ā around Ā you Ā but Ā i Ā just Ā don't Ā think Ā it's Ā what's Ā best. Ā at Ā least Ā for Ā now. Ā Ā ā
