INSIDE OUTSIDE

What if when we were born we were each assigned a Wikipedia page like a social security number would that be fucked up or what

do you mean a wikipedia page about us? or do you mean some baby is arbitrarily given the rights and responsibilities to update the paramecium article?

ok I did mean a Wikipedia page about us. But keep talking I like where you’re headed

What's your government-assigned Wikipedia page? (No rerolls. I am in charge of "1929 in Wales" now. Not a great year, some bad floods in November.)

you can pry happy endings from my cold-dead hands. It can be the most heart stopping, gut wrenching fic that has every existed and I will read every drop of it if I get my happy ending. I have had enough painful endings in real life, give me happy in my fantasy world. It can be at the last second, it can be a single sentence, even a single word. Give me all the angst and hurt in the world for 500,000 words, but please give me the comfort I need in the ending. please and thank you.

mustelids are the best animal because they are fucking brutally efficient predators but they're also just absurdly cute

redd animal crossing doesnt even know if the art hes selling you is fake he literally just gets it from god knows where and is like “this looks sick” and then puts it on his boat

he doesn’t know what it’s called either. he’ll be like “check out this Proper Painting. This Fat Nuts Statue” and Blathers takes one look at it to tell you “that’s Michelangelo’s David. where did you get this” 

if you’re offline or away and i message you something (like a link to a meme or a picture or w/e) honestly just assume that i’m just leaving it there for when you get back and not expecting you to answer straight away. i don’t need you to respond with “hey, sorry, i wasn’t at the computer!” or anything. i was leaving u a gift for later.

This also applies if you’re online and just don’t want to or have the energy to deal with humans in the moment. Just because we have the ability to reply in real time does not mean we have the obligation.

im like a cat i drag the posts to ur doorstep and if ur not there it’s ok, the post will be on ur porch for later

You always got strange looks whenever you fed the neighborhood ravens. “I give them food, they give me company,” you’d say. One day, a raven excitedly comes up to you and whispers, “A neighbor plots against you, my lord.”

This had me laughing harder than it should have.