lachlan is stoked.

Welcome. If this is the first time you’ve visited Lachlan is Stoked, literally everything will be confusing and new and strange to you, least of all this post.

If you’re well acquainted with this site, then I have some terrific news if you are unfaithful to tumblr like the harlot we all know you are - but first, the backstory.

This website was created back in June of 2014 as a way for me to get some semblance of a writing portfolio off the ground. I knew I could write, or at least could debate that point, but had no proper collection of words written by me to show to potential employers, partners or psychiatrists. There were a couple of articles written just for this website in order to aid that process, but then in August I started writing for Happy, which is a music site covering all kinds of independent music from Australia and beyond. Over time, Lachlan is Stoked soon became just a feed of external links to my articles on Happy with increasingly esoteric introductions that served few people but myself. Like a terrible boyfriend, I became lazy and neglectful, leaving this website to look like an utter hodgepodge. I had failed my initial mission statement / blog description ‘A Music and Comedy About Blog’. Feeling like the king of a turd, and not a particularly good one either, I took a mental holiday to Fiji and prayed with a wise sage. During a 15-hour long meditation session, I could have sworn I saw the face of Jesus look down upon me and gently whisper ‘Why not start a wordpress just for the music stuff, without the Happy articles?’ Now I ain’t much of a deist, but when a bearded Jew from 2000 years ago offers incredibly specific blogging advice, you take it for all it’s worth, and in my case, that worth was a sum total of $18 for domain registration.

So welcome to the world Chiefly Sounds, it’s something I made with a clearer idea of what the hell to do with it, and it’s going to be a body of work that I intend to continue building upon independent of my articles for other publications. Chiefly Sounds has it all! 5 year extended warranty, Bluetooth audio system, rear parking cameras and even an in-house sauna. It is hosted on Wordpress, it’s worth noting, but with the amount of facebooking and twittering that goes on, you’ll hardly even notice that I changed platforms.

Now the upside is that this site, Lachlan is Stoked, is still here, and rather than mix comedy and music and poetry like all the colours of the rainbow to produce a shitty, lackluster brown, this site is now my home for all non-music content. Hell, I might even muster up the confidence to post a poem or two.

In any case, it’s taken me two domains, three rosary beads, four nights in France and a week on the turps to realize what I needed to do with my digital scribbles, and now that I know what to do, I look forward to sharing them with you on both platforms.

It goes without saying that this site will likely be updated a little less frequently due to the change in subject matter and, y’know… platforms, but I want to only be sharing stuff that I think is actually quality. This post? Not quality, but that doesn’t count because screw you I make the rules here, ya bish.

Hope you’re doing well, and that these 600+ words of narcissistic self-analysis was a little more than readable, but a little less than entertaining.

Onwords. Into 2015 and probably the year after that.

Ayyyyy yo,

I wrote some new words.

It's on a band called Silver Statues, and their debut single Crystal is one that I loved so much that I wrote something like 350+ words on them. Now some may pull out their hair and say 'THAT'S TOO MANY WORDS LACHLAN! YOU'VE GONE MAD WITH POWER', but they don't appreciate that I've got a large collection of canned food for when the apocalypse happens and they aren't getting any of it.

ANYWAY here's that article. I hope you read it. I hope you memorise it. I hope it becomes one with your soul. You will be quizzed on this article preceding the end of days.

Your friend and colleague (but mostly colleague - I mean, I like to keep my work life and my personal life separate, y'know?),

It's the first of December.

Time to whip out your advent calendars.

Whip them out, god damn it.

To celebrate the silly season, I wrote a review of a Turkish Shoegaze band's single from their forthcoming 2nd EP. They're called The Away Days, and they're pretty nice.

The whole Turkish-review thing is basically a tradition here in the Wyllie household.

Happy Chris

HERE'S THE ARTICLE PLZ ENJOY THANK YOU I LOVE YOU ALL

I'm also a prolific insomniac.

After a period of writing none I've been writing some and I'll be writing lots more and I'm excited to share some of my words with you in the next week.

Happy Sunday.

It's 1am.

I've just finished cleaning up everything while dancivating to some pop music. It's been a while since I listened to a top-20 chart, and now that I know that 2Chainz and Guy Sebastian did a song together, it'll probably be quite a bit more time 'til I do again.

I've also been watching a lot of Lost. Hopefully this fully illustrates my state of mind. On the plus side, I've been seeing that black smoke monster a lot less since I started watching the show.

HEY here's a new review. It's for Fazerdaze, a solo singer-songwriter from NZ. It's some bedroom indie pop that's really lovely. Enjoy both the music, and the review. http://hhhhappy.com/2014/11/17/fazerdaze-fazerdaze-ep/

It's now 1:20am.

Brevity is the soul of wit.

So I'll make this short.

There.

D.D Dumbo - Fri 10th October, Oxford Art Factory The music of D.D Dumbo is as passionate and eccentric as the mind behind it; this one-man-band consisting of looping guitar, percussion and vocal takes makes for a very dynamic and visceral performance.

Spookyland - Sat 16th August, Oxford Art Factory The fragility of Spookyland's music is established by frontman Marcus Gordon's splintered voice, recalling stories of heartbreak, weakness and indecision, driven by a sturdy backing of contemporary Americana folk rock.

The Ruminaters - Sat 25th October, Mona Vale Hotel Combining a reckless punk persona with some the very best greasy-haired, Centrelink-funded punk rock Sydney can offer, The Ruminaters pull off a boisterous night packed with loud guitars and howling vocals.

Ta.

HEY GRUYS

Happy Hallows Ween Eve.

Here is a review of King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard's new record I'm In Your Mind Fuzz.

How 'bout that for a treat, huh?!

Yeah.

Christmas.

This week I had the pleasure of reviewing a new track by Sydney three piece Mansionair, the track is called Second Night.

In spite of what may have been posted on twitter, the band doesn't quite sound like this:

But hey, if that description drives some alt rock dudes to check out some dreamy electronica, then maybe misleading marketing is all it's cracked up to be.

Anyway, have a gander at the article here or here or maybe even here.

More articles to come next week

For the uninitiated, much like an Exit Mould commercial, this article could change your life (though not necessarily in terms of mould). Tim Fitz, the slightly elusive figure, who always seems to be either performing, recording, mixing or engineering, has just dropped his 5th EP. It’s called Goodhearts, and it’s really, really good(hearts).

My suspicions that a new EP might drop today were first aroused when I saw this post.

And from there, the narrative tension only grew, with my keen detective eye for spontaneous music releases being drawn towards an email from Bandcamp informing me that Mr Fitz had indeed just popped up some new tunes. ‘The game’s afoot!’, I exclaimed, raising a solitary index finger in the air. I may have been in the bath at the time - it doesn’t matter.

While Goodhearts is just as much of a DIY effort as Fitz's 2013 Unscene EP, his songwriting has improved significantly in the 14 months between the two releases. Take Goodhearts, for example, the title track from the new EP; it’s a punchy slice of bedroom pop that bears more than a passing resemblance to Philadelphia Grand Jury, with it’s dry piano, scuzzy guitars and wonderfully witty lyrics. I kind of want to buy sepia-tinted glasses after hearing this track.

Or there’s the re-worked No Rooms Tonight ft. Hannah Joy, a track that originally appeared on a Feral Media Compilation back in February. It’s a brooding piece of suburban melancholy, driven by some gorgeous piano work and dreamy biblical imagery. Gimme Some Love features Valar frontman James Blackwood, and that familiar falsetto propels this off-beat, R&B-esque slow jam into Miguel-level sensuality. There’s also Sour, a track that I’ve written about at length here, it's the unapologetically poppy lead single from the EP, and has received it's fair share of well-deserved radio airplay.

Finally, there’s the closer, Just Pleased To Be There. A delicate organ riff bookends the beginning and end of this track. The composition oscillates between the delicate and quiet to moments that are more intense, more puncturing. It’s a dynamic song that feels like an appropriate way to end Goodhearts, with Fitz asking himself big questions over a contemplative instrumental; Is this thing on? Is it kinetic? Is it a game-changer?

Tim Fitz doesn’t show any sign of slowing down. The spontaneously released Goodhearts showcases some of his strongest songwriting yet, and works to further solidify Fitz as a necessary and important fixture of the Sydney music scene. 

<a href="http://timfitz.bandcamp.com/album/goodhearts-ep" data-mce-href="http://timfitz.bandcamp.com/album/goodhearts-ep">GOODHEARTS EP by Tim Fitz</a>

Download the EP in full over at Bandcamp.

Here's a new article up on Happy, it's an artist introduction to LVUO, an anonymous producer that creates frantic neo-invigorated electro pop and legitimately samples Mary J Blige. It's amazing. Enjoy.

http://hhhhappy.com/2014/10/01/introducing-lvuo

Enjoy. Also, don't blast your Sarah Silverman CD too loud in a car park. Families can hear, and they think you're awful. They're probably right.

HAPPY SUNDAY (or should I say FUNday?)

                                         Good...

*checks watch*

WEDNESDAY

How are you? Have you lost weight? That's a smashing blouse you've got on! I feel like we haven't spoken for yonks. Not that I'd ever speak for yonks, I'm just not that kind of guy. Anyway how the hell are you?

Seriously though, it feels like an age. Maybe that age is 20. I'll be that age come Sunday. I could totally write a poem about getting older (don't even think I'm not qualified to write a coming-of-age poem, cause I totally am), but from a man who is - biologically speaking - in the prime of his life, it'd just come off as whiny and annoying.

I feel as though 20 is a more significant age-transition than 21. I lose a digit. An entire digit that I've had for 11 out of my 19 years so far (counting the tender age of 1). I'm going to miss that 1. When it leaves in 4 days, it'll be gone for a whole 369 days until it reappears, only to visit me every 10 years like a resentful Grandmother. So yeah, 1, I wish you all the best. You've been a defining feature of me since I decided that 9 was too vogue and I wanted to go into the doubles, and you were there throughout my formative years, always being the rock to my more experimental digits, including 4, 8, 3, 7 and 6. Each one denotes a different age in my life in which you were the capstone, and each passing year was just a different fashion trend on top. Goodbye 1, you duplicitous bastard. I shan't miss you too much, for much like Moses (a Raven) in Animal Farm (a book) by George Orwell (a man), you'll come back at just the right moments to remind me of how far I've come, whether that be in the negative or the positive sense. Or just the neutral sense. As in 'oh, you're 10 years older. So that's what that looks like.' While this may be a pre-emptive goodbye, I know after the next time I'll be the spurned lover I've always said I can play so effectively in my acting profile.

So goodbye, 1. From dust we came and to dust we shall return.

A morbid outpouring of emotions. I apologise. I've just finished re-watching all 4 seasons of Arrested Development. It's become apparent even the pros on the odd occasion need to produce something practically unwatchable (or in my case, unreadable). If you've read this far, congratulations.

ALSO, I've got a new article up. It's Seekae - The Worry.

NOT A LINK NOT A LINK NOT A LINK NOT A LINK NOT A LINK NOT A LINK NOT A LINK NOT A LINK NOT A LINK NOT A LINK NOT A LINK 

So yeah, good getting to know you again, dear reader / listener (if you're listening to this one one of those text-to-talk programs)

Given the amount of tab switching going on as I write this, it's pretty clear that I too have given up on this... whatever this is. Good chat. Let's get a latte sometime.

Thanks for reading. Here's a picture that will make it all worth it.

LOVE YOU xoxo

Here's my latest article up on Happy. It's a review of Richard in Your Mind's latest album, Ponderosa.

It's a product of my uni student stress writing (or USSW for short), as is most everything I'm writing at the moment; so I am, for the most part, content with the finished article.

http://hhhhappy.com/2014/09/08/richard-in-your-mind-ponderosa/

By the way, you should totally follow me on twittah. Where else do you get to read gems like this?

Have a week that's above the x-axis, and to the right of the y-axis.

This is a review of Strangerous Collective's self-titled debut EP.

There's one of those 'I accidentally a word' type errors that was made (not by me) in the finished article. Ignore it.

Oh, also, there's a bit of language in this one. I may have invented a swear word. That's really up to you.

Blessings upon you all and your sons and your cats and your older siblings

Anyway, I was digging through my computer because reasons and found this movie review for I Give It A Year that I wrote sometime last year and completely forgot about. As far as I remember, this is the only movie review I've ever done, so... do with that what you will. Even if it's not particularly good, I feel I should probably archive it anyway, because it's something I wrote that was more than 140 characters (I counted, it's definitely more than 140 characters). So feel free to not read it if you don't particularly want to know why I'm ragging on a rom-com.

LWx

----

I Give It A Year is written by Dan Mazer, a long-time collaborator of Sacha Baron Cohen, in his directorial debut.

Following the story of a newlywed couple going through relationship purgatory only nine months into marriage, the typical set up for a rom-com is absent, and while this may be refreshingly different, it only goes downhill from there.

Newlyweds Nat and Josh are in marriage counselling, and have begun seeing other people behind each other’s back, and while the new lovers, (Guy, a business associate with a chiselled jaw, and Chloe, an old flame with an unfulfilled heart) are introduced as ‘the right people’ for Nat and Josh, this approach just leaves a bad taste in the viewer’s mouth.

Sometimes, humour is clever and genuinely engaging, but more often than not, just resorts to base humour, desperate for cheap laughs intertwined with this flimsy plot.

This film celebrates the deterioration of Nat and Josh’s marriage as they fall in love with Mr and Mrs Right all over again.

There’s something overwhelmingly sad about this film as a result.

The main cast doesn’t succeed in engaging viewers on any sort of human level, with perhaps the exception of Anna Faris as Chloe. They all appear as archetypal human beings with little character and even less depth. Olivia Coleman is a real feature in this film, playing the apathetic relationship counsellor with more relationship issues than her clients.

Whilst there are building blocks of a great film in ‘I Give It A Year’, the overshadowing theme of fatalism and infidelity just repels viewers, even if drenched in syrup and trying to prove that true love comes out of lies and cheating.

Some scenes are genuinely funny, such as Nat and Josh writing their will with a socially oblivious solicitor, but most resort to the lowest common denominator to force cheap laughs. Whilst well directed and flaunting a decent cast, I’ll Give It A Year falls far short of its total potential.

Hey.

Here's my latest article up on the website Happy. It's a kind of artist re-introduction / dual track review of the new singles to come from Mr Twin Sister (formerly known as Twin Sister).

This was written very, very late at night - so if it's grammatically correct-ish and structurally sound, that's a win for me. A big ol' win for the Wyllieman.

HERE IS A HYPERLINK TO THE ARTICLE HERE IS A HYPERLINK TO THE ARTICLE HERE IS A HYPERLINK TO THE ARTICLE HERE IS A HYPERLINK TO THE ARTICLE HERE IS A HYPERLINK TO THE ARTICLE HERE IS A HYPERLINK TO THE ARTICLE HERE IS A HYPERLINK TO THE ARTICLE HERE IS A HYPERLINK TO THE ARTICLE 

My first proper music article is now up on Happy.

Get all up in its grill!

http://hhhhappy.com/2014/08/11/millions-max-relax/

x

Hi mates,

I’m working on an album review at the moment, which will be up on Happy some time in the next week (I’ll post here when it’s up). In the meantime, staying true to my ’A music and comedy about blog.’ tagline, I’ll be focusing a bit more on comedy content on here. This might be original stuff of mine, great stuff by other comics, or unoriginal stuff of mine.

To start, here’s a comedy album by Melbourne dude James McCann. It’s a brilliant mix of absurdism, surrealism and just what-the-actual-heckism. He’s got a great on-stage personality and displays a grandiose confidence in his own material that is in part why it’s so damn funny in the first place.

It’s been a great distraction for me over the last couple of days and I think a bunch of you will really like it.