i used to tell myself, just get through the night and youβll be okay. a lot of time has passed since and the mounting rot has been pleasurable for a reason unknown to me. the numbness in my fingers and toes has let me explore a rationally attractive man, it has let me look into his eyes, gouge it out with my pale, dark fingers without an ounce of disturbance in my fabric, let me wet it with moments of peace and put it back into his lonely sockets. perhaps this is what they meant - distance yourself from the emotional responses and you will experience love for what it truly is.












