[tweet reading: Everything I say is a joke Unless you agree And in that case Speak to me privately I have even crazier ideas /end ID]

Younger people, one thing I want you to understand about Millenials is that, overall, our parents taught their daughters to aim for careers and employment, but they didn't teach their sons to keep house. This causes a whole lot of Situations.

I love picking up self published novels, sometimes I'll get a few pages in and immediately recognize the prose structure and be like. 🫵 reddit user or 🫵 tumblr user or 🫵 ao3 user. but never twitter. not once twitter. I don't think those people write

Why do horror game protagonists always buy the worst flashlights? A flashlight that can kill a Dracula is like 20 bucks. Why are you grabbing grandma's old flashlight with a dying bulb from 1992 and going into the woods at night?

Putting the term "Catholic guilt" on a high shelf where fandom can't reach it until everyone learns how to identify characters who are very very clearly coded as Protestant.

Chat, is it considered “abusive roommate behavior” to release a raccoon into the living space after you have asked your roommate for months to please clean up their messes (they do not pay any of the mortgage)

If u could bring dead ppl back 2 life with magic like in video games the hollywood stunt scene would be out of control. There'd be professional snuff actors winning awards for dying the best. Producers would be like "If u need somebody to get killed in a film call up Resurrection Eddie, nobody gets killed as good as Eddie"

ok every time this post comes by i resist geeking out on it but NO LONGER so these women are probably the same woman and that woman is monet’s wife camille doncieux. he painted her a LOT. but fun fact: monet had this asshole friend named ernest hochede, and ernest racked up some debts, and like an asshole he basically just fled the country, leaving his wife alice and their six kiddos behind. monet immediately got alice and kids to move in with him, camille, and their two kids. at this point, monet, alice, and camille became my favorite probably historic poly threesome. they lived together, taking care of the kids. they were so poor that alice and camille took turns wearing the nice dress so they could go out with monet. when camille got uterine cancer and began dying, alice helped monet cope and took care of things while he painted camille over and over. when camille died, alice is the reason monet was able to survive. when ernest finally died, monet and alice married, and remained married until alice died. at that point, blanche, the oldest daughter, took care of monet until he died. anyway, the point is, the umbrella ladies are probably the same ladies, but as far as i’m concerned, there WAS a historically queer poly family in that household and they were wonderful.

this is a fucking joy

My name is The Vampire Lestat. I have a snatched waist and a babe-a-licious body. I have perfectly conditioned blond hair and eyes that change like a Forever 21 mood ring from the mid 2000s. I have full lips with no lip filler.

My tits are huge my pussy is wet and my bills are all paid. I am also a famous rockstar.