ephemeral

Once again, Jinhwan was correct. If the two could’ve helped it, they wouldn’t have fallen in love. Not in a million years, did the fallen angel think he would yearn for a demon. Yet there he was, in the same room as the Godforsaken entity he loved. There was no answer that the former angel could give him. It happened so fast it felt unforgiving. Minki had been so weak to the idea of love and perhaps this was his punishment for it. If Jinhwan was here to mock him for it, he deserved it.

Minki had expected the demon to leave him there, a part of him wanting him to stay. But there he was on the floor next to him, tinkering with pieces of broken pottery. Biting back a smile, he placed a repaired vase to the other side of himself and began working on another. There was a comfortable silence that the male appreciated, but the company of Jinhwan was what made the angel warm inside. For a moment, the possibility that his love was unrequited was forgotten. He could forgive himself this time.

Hearing Jinhwan’s question caught him completely off-guard, his hands freezing over the nearly repaired piece of pottery. Because I was convinced that you didn’t love me was what Minki wanted to say. No one in their right mind would stay with a person who didn’t love them back. Truth be told, Asariel was all in. The idea of losing his wings to be with Jinhwan, at the time, was what he would’ve asked for himself. When his angelic self confirmed that his love for the demon exceeded the moon, he was ready. And then it happened. His wish came true. The wings were ripped off his back and it was one of the most excruciatingly painful experiences the blonde has ever had. The trauma shook him to the core. It felt like a part of him was ripped off along with the wings. Cursed to be without the only entity that was worth getting kicked out of heaven.

Why did Minki leave? There were multiple reasons that the angel left, some that would fail to make sense to Jinhwan. It didn’t even make sense to himself. All he knew was that being around Jin, even just thinking about wanting to be around him physically pained him. A lot of it was tied to the marks on his back and rather than make sense of it now, he had other ideas. It hurt right now, but it was bearable. How much more could it hurt if he allowed himself to indulge in the other male? Would they still burn? There was only one way to find out, he reasoned.

Silently, the fallen angel moved forward to straddle Jinhwan’s lap, his hands reaching to cradle the other’s face lovingly between them. Without missing another beat, as if it hasn’t been 500 years since then, he leaned to close the distance between their lips. It was familiar, yet indescribable in the way it made his head dizzy and chest explode. Though it was hard to ignore the agonizing burn that grew worse with every second, Minki simply decided he didn’t fucking care at the moment. After depriving himself of Jin for so long, it was nothing. “Ti amo. Sei il mio tutto. Ti amo tanto.” he whispered every once in a while, when they pulled away for a mere second. God, it fucking hurt so much, the burning ripped across his back like a wildfire, but it had to be worth it. For Jinhwan, it had to be.

Jin could practically see the reaction his question caused as the comfortable silence slipped into oblivion and was quickly replaced with a deafening silence. Minki froze but he could see the gears turning in his head. Before Jin had enough time to ponder the inner workings of the angel’s mind, the other moved. The angel’s action was so unexpected in nature it snatched Jin’s breath right from his lungs. In one swift motion, Minki situated himself into his lap while his hands gingerly caressed the demon’s cheek, claiming it as his. Which it was. Everything he had to his name was Minki’s. All he had to do was ask, Jin wouldn’t hesitate to give him the world.

Although initially the surprise inhibited him, it took no more than a few seconds for Jinhwan’s body to fall back into place and respond accordingly. It was as if time slowed. The hands on the clock dragged as his lips crashed into Jin’s. Sweet and supple, he tasted him on his tongue, just like remembered. Nothing outside this space mattered anymore, as long as he had Asariel in his arms there was nothing else that deserved his attention. So enamoured by his presence, he failed to hear the words leaving the other’s mouth, only catching the last few syllables. Italian was not his strong suit, languages never were, however he did have a few words in his small arsenal.  

Too distracted to care, Jin paid no mind to what he missed and focused his attention on his long lost lover. His hands lovingly explored the canvas of Minki’s body, settling on the small of his back to hold the angel against him. Honestly scared that if he let go, it might be another century before he saw him again. The loneliness that filled every crevice of Jin’s being since his absence ached and longed to be filled with the angel’s love once more. This all felt too right to stop but more importantly, he didn’t want to stop. The demon didn’t want this moment to end, not now and not ever.

Minki started to feel the adrenaline of his anger wear off, not putting up a fight when the other pushed him away. Not typically a heated entity in general, once able to release all of his troubles, it was quick to fade away. The fallen angel’s personality didn’t allow him to stay angry when there was no reason to be. Screaming in Jinhwan’s face all of the reasons he had to hate him, it arguably dissipated some of it. Nonetheless, his guard was kept up. Minki didn’t hate him. He doubted that he ever could. Quite the opposite. If only it weren’t for the physical reminder embedded in his back, it would be easy to forgive Jin. In the past 500 years, every time he thought about going to find his former lover, they burnt like fire. A reminder.

Because I loved you. Hearing those words come out of the demon’s mouth made the blonde’s psuedo-human heart clench and he would be lying if he said he didn’t love Jinhwan. Minki loved Jinhwan with every fiber of his being, dare he say even more than he loved the moon, something he was created to guard. His love surpassed that. Yet he was used. It was something the fallen angel would never forget. The worst part of it was, he was absolutely right. Jinhwan didn’t throw him away; God did. Unconsciously, a hand reached to his own shoulder, around where the scars remained. Aside from, the validity of the demon’s feelings was laughable.

“Jinnie, don’t pretend like you care about me. Why would you ever love an angel you couldn’t be with for long when you could’ve had another demon with you for forever?” Minki chuckled bitterly, recounting the words of God right before ripping the wings off of his creation’s back. You were tricked. A fool. You fell to temptation and now you will be punished for it.

”And I loved you, Jin. I don’t think I ever stopped.”The angel, now exhausted from the emotional draining that was the past 20 minutes, plopped down onto the floor next to all of the broken pottery. Seemingly to forget his last couple of words, he glanced up at the demon in disapproval. “People worked on these, you know.” With whatever magic the fallen angel had left, his hands hovered over a couple pieces, trying to reconnect the pieces that fit together. “And hey! For the record,” his lips formed into a pout, attention staying on the art, “I was pretty damn strong, okay? I just… didn’t show it.”

Jinhwan watched the angel fall back as a result of his aggressive action. It was clear to him now that Minki wasn’t lying when he listed his lack of strength as one of his decreased abilities. “Do you think I consciously decided to put myself in such a torturous situation?” Jin retorted, baffled. He was in disbelief at the ludicrous ideas the ex-angel seemed to have convinced himself of in their time apart. “No,” he continued, “I wouldn’t choose this for myself but more important than that, I wouldn’t choose this for you. Not in a million fucking years, but I suppose I can’t help what my soulless body wants now can I?”

How could Minki proclaim his unwavering hatred for the demon one minute and the next confess that he never stopped loving him in the first place? Beyond confused, Jin could do nothing but just stand and observe, trying to make some sense of the other’s thought process. It was interesting, to say the least, to watch the angel fall to the floor in exhaustion and proceed to lament over shattered pottery of all things. As if he hadn’t just went berserk on the demon a mere a moment ago. At some point, Jin had become accustom to the angel’s affinity to virtue although that didn’t stop him from being perplexed by his action. How could one be so good-willed even after being discarded by their almighty creator?

“I’m sure you were,” Jin stifled a smile at the other’s defensiveness as he descended to the floor to accompany him and the shattered artwork. He almost felt bad seeing him like this, so powerless and out of his element. The Asariel Jin once knew, his energy knew no bounds. That was something he learned through experience. Even seeing him in this state only brought back fond memories for Jin. All he wanted to do was forget their conflict and sit by his side for as long as time allowed.