Gideon Graves is a bitch.

as part of their ongoing boycott, Canada will no longer provide the US with totally real long-distance girlfriends who definitely exist

If you saw me recreationally vaccinating homeschooled children with blow darts then you should be thanking me, no? Relax a little. Blow darts are cool

You are just jealous of my ethical human safari

I think some of y'all would really benefit from learning the scope of power of various political offices.

Are you trying to tell me my local schoolboard doesn't have the ability to declare a unilateral ceasefire with iran?

If they try hard enough and are pure of heart... still no.

if you're not playing mermaids with me then i have to assume you're playing mermaids against me

me when i fucking GET you

can I get a job as an editor but the only thing I do is correct when someone uses the word "prone" when they mean "supine"

she supine on my pronis til i fowler

She took the pages.

hi I’m the computer. You’re not getting that.

complimented a womans clear raincoat this morning and she said Well i feel like a sandwich

I would have said clit if I was her

you keep your clitoris in a plastic bag?