C is for Contrafibularity

will graham tries to solve the mystery of who’s been smoking all the Weed with the help of Harijuana Lecter 

life would be so different if i was a beaver at a zoo but then again some things would also stay the same

Soup is so crazy its like hot water but its got stuff goin on

cats are like. i am very small and have cute little triangle ears. also locking me out of the bathroom is a hate crime

oh sorry i was thinking about myself did you want something

gomez addams is the dream friend. id kill to have that dude in my corner. like if he found out my company closed cuz of covid he’d just give me 5k a month until “you get back on your feet, old boy”. I’d have to sword fight him like twice a week but then I’d just get better at sword fighting. literally what is the downside

Underrated part of womanhood is realizing you’re just like. allowed to go outside looking like shit

no. you know what? fuck you. *uncaramelizes your onions*