Only The Finest 🍫

I hope your shady choices were worth it…

           I’d been with my girlfriend Demetria since high school but we’d only been serious for about three years. Now that she was pregnant with my son, I was ready to take it to the next step and ask her to marry me. However, there was something I’d never told her about myself and had no plans of telling her about. Although I hadn’t acted on it in years, I’m into dudes just as much as I’m into women. In high school, I fucked around with five of my basketball teammates and a few other dudes from our school on the low. I continued messing with dudes and other women until me and Demetria moved in together. That was when I decided to become faithful to her. I never thought someone so close to both of us would test my faithfulness.

           “Baby, I’m horny,” I said over the phone to Demetria. “You know I get morning wood like crazy. Can we have some phone sex or something?”

           She laughed and replied, “You know I’m not in the mood. I know it’s been tough but I’m not one of those women who get horny while pregnant. Once I hit three months, I just lost that feeling. My sister says it’ll come back though after I have the baby.”

           “Why you still at your sister’s anyway? Are you coming home or are you gonna stay there until you have the baby?”

           “I don’t know, Horace. These last few weeks have been miserable and my sister and my mama have been making me feel so much better.”

           I sighed and told her, “I love you and I wish you’d let me comfort you. You’re carrying my little boy.”

           “I know, baby. I’m sorry if it feels like I’m punishing you for something. Well, I actually am punishing your ass for getting me pregnant!” She laughed and I laughed, too. “But for real, I love you and I can’t wait to have this baby.”

           “I still wanna name him Tyler or Tyree.”

           “And I said one of those could be his middle name. His first name is gonna be Jabari.”

           “Yeah, we’ll see.”

           “So, what’s my brother been up to? He acts like he can’t call no damn body or respond to my text messages.”

           “He’s good.”

           “Are you sure he hasn’t been giving you any trouble? He hasn’t been smoking weed in the house, has he?”

           “Dante is cool, baby. I keep telling you that boy has changed. He got a job and stopped escorting. He’s helping pay the bills. Your brother is staying out of trouble this time.”

           “He better. Because I’m the last family member that’s willing to help him.” She yawned before saying, “I’m gonna go back to sleep. I’ll talk to you later, baby. I love you.”

           “I love you, too.” I ended the call and then climbed out of bed to go make myself a bowl of cereal in the kitchen. When I got in there and saw all of the Honey Nut Cheerios were gone, I called out, “Dante, can I have some of your Apple Jacks?”

           “Yeah, man,” he replied from his room.

           “Thanks.”

                                                    Me (Horace)

           I made myself a bowl and after adding milk, I went into the living room to watch TV while eating. Not long after I finished, I heard Dante talking on the phone with somebody. I could’ve sworn I heard him say something about weed so after taking my bowl back into the kitchen and putting in the sink, I went up the hall and stood outside his open door. I peeked in to see he was playing a videogame in his underwear while his phone was on the bed on speakerphone.

I’m hungry for your Nutt

I swear I have a boring life when I’m off work on Saturdays my Saturdays consist of me doing either.

Waking Up

Then I beat my dick

Then I eat me some breakfast

Then I wash my ass

Then I probably lay in bed and watch either Cartoon Network or Netflix

 Then get on Social Media 

Then I cook me some dinner 

Eat dinner

Then I beat my dick again.

Then I sleep