I speak badly not only in English, but also in Russian, which is my native language
Especially irl
Well, I feel much more insecure in real life because of which im stuttering and without exaggerations I usually say maximum 4 words in a day
Also no matter what I would say, my family reacts badly. My grandmother calls me a dead swan for not showing emotions irl.
And today I thought why I'm like this. I think I can connect my lack of showing emotions irl with my feeling of "watching".
By "watching" I mean that the whole life I can't just realize it's all actually happens. I feel like "it's not my body", "it's not real", "nothing is real, im just watching it". Like, separated or something. Idk, maybe everybody feel like that? I didn't see people talking about this feeling
