everything's comming up hummel

Oh. Thank you for your concern, Rachel. However, and I can’t emphasize this enough, I would rather walk around school in fake designer Gucci like one of those Arminian mallrats before you ever catch me in one of those carousel horse sweaters. Even if we do happen to weirdly wear the same size.

Right, next time Azimio and Karofsky corner me in the bathroom, I’ll be sure to hit them with some moves from when I took a stage combat class so they can get a good laugh before they dunk my head in the toilet. Seriously, you sound like the administration at this school. 

Well, there’s nothing like a fresh cup of slushie to shock the senses awake on this fine Monday morning - for those of you missing half your brain cells from smoking pot under the bleachers, that was sarcasm. Next time, you think about throwing one of the those devil drinks my way, rest assured that you will be receiving the invoice for my dry cleaning.

I knew I smelled a Swiftie around these parts. While I may have hitched my allegiance to another pop girl, I can’t deny the genius of 1989. But tell me, is this statement a teaser for your audition number?