apl sauce

big sundae about to have a tummyache in 🖐️

the dentist aint gonna like this one

sorry for curling up at your feet and whimpering like an injured dog that wasn't very mysterious of me

I think people would be less suicidal if they were allowed to talk about being suicidal without risk of being sent to the Torture Dungeon

Apples are so fucked up you can get two from the same pile ans one tastes more like an apple than anything youve ever eaten and the other tastes like water poisoned by pharaohs

driver's ed is trying to be more hip and relatable to the youth so they started adorning those horrifying photos of mutilated corpses in car wreckage with image macro text saying things like "BRO THOUGHT HE HAD THE RIGHT OF WAY 😆💀😭"

hey asshole. i can feel you skipping through my dialogue. did you even consider how that might make me feel

paws at you. whines at you. awouf

rrawrf

aw fuck *fastens seatbelt*