zana 🕷

Hate Me I

Lo’ak was happy, he was sure he was. Life was convenient for him, he had little no responsibilities to carry for and had a girlfriend.

He had a woman men would fight him for, he’s fought over it already. He was having fun and living how he wanted to.

At least how he expected to, anyone in his position would be happy to have it.

Oh, but the arguments were so vile. It felt as if venom was fit between the two of you and wounds were split open that other words couldn’t fix.

Only sex could

And it was never something he’d complain of, in all honesty he enjoyed the sex more than anything. His friends called him toxic for it and Spider called you a vixen.

Some sort of human terms he still has yet to wrap his head around. It was easier to bury everything aside and leave than to force himself to look in your eyes.

Your eyes grew more and more of distaste after every argument, and even more after every hookup.

Being a carefree spirit had its responsibilities and privileges, unfortunately it never seemed like he’d learn from any of them.

Or maybe he knew the truth and just hated to confront it, it was easier to lie to himself and to you. So of course, that’s the option he’ll choose every time.

It could’ve been a competition like he always made things with others. Competing for a higher ranking or praise, the finest gifts and drinks.

His father had sat and spoke with him before, saying it was a conversation between men. He spoke of it not being friendly competition, but envy or greed.

He could see it in his son’s eyes every time something was mentioned within the clan. When he was sidelined or second for anything, even at times when he was awarded of given blessings in certain scenarios it was never enough for him.

Nothing was ever enough to technically satisfy the youngest sully boy and it drove him mad. It was easier for him to take than sit and loathe about giving.

His mother told him he was similar to his grandfather in that sense, he never pried into it as he never wanted to learn. He had the issue and it wouldn’t be easy to brush past or leave aside.

Maybe it explained how he was with you, or why he chose to do the things he did. It was wrong to objectify and claim, yet that was what he was best at. It hadn’t felt entirely fair for him for his friends around to brag over and over for the same things.

The class they were born in, the women who adorned them, and the freedom they had. Lo’ak was sure to have all of those and yet it wasn’t satisfactory, he wanted more, wanted you.

And when he got close enough to reach at you he finally found a goal for himself as before, something to occupy him for the time being to lead him away from wrongdoings.

Day by day he did his best, showered you and gave you what he could only believe was what you wanted as well. He watched you change, grow into something of his choosing.

Almost like a fruit in his garden that amused him somehow. The two of you grew together, moved together, understood one another in a way that was enough to satisfy him for the time being.

Yet even as he had you, it hadn’t stopped others from feeling the same for either of you. Some men and women fancied those who were already in relations and could bend to the orders of temptation.

He hadn’t fell to the knees of temptation ever, but the idea of it gave him a sort of rush and excitement he’d get when cliff diving. As much as he promised himself to not break at the eyes of temptation he had certainly bent for it.

Not by much, just a bit. Allowing a woman to get herself close enough to grind upon him as they were both intoxicated, his anger for you spilling from his lips at an argument the two of you had prior.

No need to remind him of the men who still found favoritism in you after it all, especially his brother. Lo’ak may have been many things but he was no fool, his grandmother spoke of the eyes kissing long before the lips do, and his jaw would tighten when he saw the way his brother looked at you.

Maybe it was in complete jealousy, as he never seemed to see himself in the same situation, or having more love than Neteyam had. Now he carried himself as if in any other competition, greed entirely taking over when it came to you.

It seemed easier that way, he would be more focused and still enjoy himself enough to pursue outside of you. He felt no solid obligation or entitlement for someone he was sure wouldn’t feel the same.

It felt as if he was drowning in all of the responsibility and work put against him. If there was anything he feared it most likely would’ve been permanent commitment.

It could’ve been a factor as to why the two of you hadn’t mated, and honestly he should’ve seen the arguments and fights coming. He still lied to himself and pretended things would solve themselves until it couldn’t.

“Lo’ak.” He turned slightly, his head swiveling towards the voice he heard call out to him before glancing over your figure.

Silence sat between the two of you for a moment, his brows furrowed, then he turned around towards his two older siblings who sat beside him.

“Yeah?” He responded, his grip on the rock he held grew tighter as he heard you huff. He glanced over to his sister who waved at you, he could already feel you waving back.

“I.. I need to speak with you.” You said slowly, your gaze never faltering his figure, not daring to look at Neteyam. “Alone.” You finished, he stood up and threw the rock in his hand before turning to you.

Silence fell upon the both of you as you led him towards a small secluded part deeper into the forest. From afar, the eldest of the two sully siblings only exchanged confused looks towards one another..

“What is this about?” He asked, earning nothing in response from you, not a cheery giggle or smirk, maybe even a sly comment. You hadn’t even turned to look back at him, your expression remaining the same as before.

Lo’ak was never a man to feel fear easily, his adrenaline would rush and fear would gnaw at his brain if he knew he’d get caught for something he shouldn’t have done initially. Like luring his siblings into trouble, or going out after curfew, but never for situations with you.

But for some reason as of right now he couldn’t help but feel the same thing gnawing at his stomach, maybe if he was weak he would feel sick, he hadn’t.

The eerie silence of nothing but your feet hitting the mossy floor beneath you made him shudder in concern. The tension wasn’t in his favor at the slightest and he felt helpless for the first time.

He thinks back to the last time he had felt shock and helplessness before, back in the Metkayina when his brother had nearly died, he hangs his head low at the memory.

Now, things were better, healthier. There’s no grieve to live with, let alone blame to be placed upon him, and no one was certain to die as of now.

He just needed to calm his nerves, yes. If this turned into another argument he’s sure the two of you would makeup and confess your affection towards each other before he lays you upon the forest and shows his love to you.

“I want a break from us.” Was all you said, as if just answering the question he posed you minutes ago as you stopped walking. He opened his mouth to say something, but you only held your hand up. “It’ll be good for us both, find where our priorities lie.” You added, he rolled his eyes.

“And it should be something that’s a mutual decision, which it isn’t. You can’t just come here and drop this on me, and say it’l be ‘good for me’.” He said, now grabbing at your hand to force your fingers to interlock with each other. His fifth finger laid ghosting in the space between you.

“I don’t want to keep doing this, it hurts me to do so. This isn’t just about you Lo’ak, it’s not fair.” You said, he glared at you in response before scowling.

“Well that’s something we can both agree on. We’ve come so far with each other and you’re giving up on us now? We’ve been fine all month after Neteyam visited. What have I done now that still can’t be enough to satisfy you.” He pushed, now letting go of your hand and throwing his out in defeat.

“This isn’t right, or healthy. You only pull me in and hold me when you want to, or when you feel the need to. You come home whenever you want to, you mate with me whenever you feel, you lie to me whenever you want to. It’s always about you Lo’ak, always! You make all the decisions and you call the shots, yet you can’t even explain or help me understand why we haven’t mated before Ey-“

“I don’t want to be mated for life!” He shouted, cutting you off entirely with a breath. You gasped as you took in his expression, his shoulders flared and the two braids that usually hang at his cheek had been pulled behind his ear. His brows were furrowed and teeth gritted.

No matter how he looked, his stance was as firm as ever, not like you’d seen entirely for a while.

His stance was firm..

Firm because he was finally telling the truth to you, he wasn’t lying.

Maybe he shouted it loud enough for all of the forest and its people to hear, but you hadn’t cared. He wasn’t shouting it for you to know, he was shouting it as if he was saying it to himself, reminding himself of the man he was. It wouldn’t change the fact he loved you, and you carried love for him.

You wondered for a moment why the heartbeat in your head continued to burn in your eyes and nose. Your mouth tasted metallic in a way you couldn’t quite understand and yet you stood still.

If this was how he truly felt all along what would it mean for the future between you two. Does it mean he was lying to you for the entirety of your relationship? Was it something of his advantage or a charade that would easily blow over once this ended?

He hadn’t wanted to be mated for life and yet made love like it was a sport? Or the fact he had no intention of leaving you alone to be unclaimed yet again within the clan?

Fingers brushing against your cheek snapped you from your inner conscious before looking at him. Your cheeks wet and chest hot as he wiped your tears.

“I didn’t mean to yell, I didn’t mean any of it, I’m sor-“

“Oh.” You said quickly, taking a step back to release yourself of his energy entirely. You wiped at your face profusely, eyes and nose, yet they still continued to leak. The further he walked towards you the further and quicker you moved back before he eventually caught up to you.

You only shoved him away taking in his expression as you leapt past and ran off into the woods, sobs now filling the eerie silence of the forests from before.

He had caused this on himself of course, something’s aren’t meant to be permanent, and the longer they drag on, the more miserable it becomes for everyone else.

And for the first time since he had gone public with you, he cried, he cried because now he had finally lost in a game he had created.

.ೃ

He laid awake as he watched your sleeping frame on his place of rest, his eyes continuously flickering between you and the ceiling before he sighed. You hadn’t moved, you’d been in his hut for weeks and yet never left.

You ate less than he liked, but he was grateful it wasn’t entirely nothing. He would leave you occasionally only to see his younger brother in the same sort of situation, finding shattered glass and liters empty of alcohol around the place.

A frown never left his face as he watched his brother, although the smell ranched him he had grown to smell worse, and his body ignored it. His parents and other siblings weren’t far behind when watching over the two old lovers.

A part of him wondered if things would be easier if the two of you had gotten together again, he wanted nothing more than to see you happy, let alone his own brother.

He feels insanely foolish at times, letting the love he has for a woman grow between his relation with his brother at times, the bond between them unbreakable. But as of now it had grown more apparent that as much as you two depended on one another and shared love, it was growing unhealthy by the times.

Concern spewed between your own family, you had gone to see your mother and siblings once and collapsed into her, crying. As of then you spent your times between home and Neteyam’s, as it was closer to where you worked with children.

You hadn’t smiled as much as before, which the children teased for. You’d only shake your head and change the subject before moving on or leaving. The tsahik had requested to see you soon, as something wasn’t ‘right’ with you.

Two months longed on, longed on too far. Two months without your body functioning as it should, not enough hydration and proper care or nutrition. Two months without you once falling into your heat as you should’ve each month, which ironically enough you were happy for.

You no longer had someone to fill the position to help you in your greatest time of need if it had ever come, you would’ve been sent away like you were before matching with Lo’ak with objects to satisfy you.

“My child.” Mo’at spoke, frowning upon seeing your figure as you stood inside and placed your belongings down. You only nodded and smiled slightly.

“Tsahik.” You spoke with a bow, she took your hands into hers and shook her head as she examined you with only her eyes, placing a hand on your forehead as you closed your own.

“Your body is fighting. Your eyes have lost their color and as has your skin. Eywa ngahu fpomron-il.” [Eywa be with your wellbeing]. Your body shivered as you opened your eyes and followed as she began to drag you along.

She ushered you to sit and you did so, silence falling between the room as she steps out to the outside. You wait patiently, your eyes flickering across the room as memories seeped in from your life of before.

Tears pricked your eyes which you quickly wiped as voices made their way outside, ushering into the large shared space of medicine. The Sully family made their way inside, all except Lo’ak and Kiri.

You stood to greet them all formally, smiling as Tuk made her way to hug you, which you surprisingly hadn’t declined after so long.

Neytiri stood before you, a soft sad smile on her face as she embraced you, her hands brushing through your hair. Emotion bloomed within your throat yet again, you only swallowed and bit down on your tongue to stop it from escaping.

“Ngari peu Y/n?” [What is the matter y/n?] She asked.

“The others in the childcare presume me to be ill, and the tsahik has asked for me.” Was all you said lightly, nodding your head as if you agreed with your own statement. She only hung her head low before embracing you yet again as the others left towards the other side of the hut.

All except Neteyam.

“I apologize for the damage my son has caused onto you.” She spoke softly, you only nodded as she did so. The mention of asking her which son sat on your tongue but never escaped far enough to reach her ears.

Soon she left you as Mo’at returned, Neteyam sitting in the far corner by shelves of treatments as you made small talk with his grandmother. As much as you tried you couldn’t ignore or shake the feeling of his piercing gaze.

You weren’t sure what exactly he was thinking, and honestly some part of you was glad you couldn’t. It was as if things had started all over again, he must’ve hated you for the way you left his brother.

You’d always listen to your friends share with the children of the village that pain is shared through family, and though you’ve had loses of your own you’d never experienced it from another.

Maybe that’s what was happening as of now, he only took you in because you cried at the entrance of his home so many days ago, rainfall drowning your face in just as much as your tears had.

It must have been out of pity, even when you laid awake throughout the night with a dry throat and dry lips your thoughts drowned you.

If things were reversed you would’ve been the same sort of support for Neteyam as he had been for you, as much as your mind yearned for Lo’ak and his stupidity, humor, recklessness, and love.

A part of you wishes you could’ve went back to when things began, stopping this all from happening and just living through the discomfort. Sometimes discomfort is a smaller pill to swallow then heartbreak.

You even wondered if you were to return to Lo’ak at a time like this if he was even willing to take you back. Ironically enough as much as the two of you began to go back to your normal lives months later, it seemed as if Eywa herself was quick to pull you apart.

If it wasn’t her then it would be both sides of either family doing so, holding you late nights or for longer days to keep you from the city for longer. Ending work earlier than usual as soon as hunting parties were ordered to be gathered near where you rested.

And no matter what or where, Neteyam was always present. Almost as if he was purposely placed to be your aid and help you from time to time.

The two of you never spoke for long or detailed periods, especially when alone. You’d only steal glances from one another you’d regret later after being caught.

You had always asked him of Lo’ak, to which he only spoke of his healing and well being or future plans and nothing else, nothing of his emotions or romance. He would always ignore your protests either, and you knew better to show yourself in a place you weren’t invited.

It’s almost ridiculous, as you were the one to leave him and yet you can’t seem to let him go. As much as it pained you and all he’s done you can’t speak to say you hate him when your heart still carries love for him.

Neteyam hadn’t made things easier, a break for your conscious was needed and he seemed to only want to force the process. You think back to the time of you two in Lo’ak’s hut earlier in the year.

His words of explaining his desire and need for you echoed in your mind, it made you bite at your nails when he spoke to you for too long now, or looked at you in a certain way.

Even others around you seemed to realize the intensity the tension between the two of you had grown to be. Which made it logical to take as much time and distance away as you could from him.

Distance became acquainted towards the two of you, Neteyam was Oloeyktan and Jake had stepped down, he was rewarded and a ceremony was held. All eyes had rested on him and yet his rested on your face, your hair, your skin that felt aflame as you had felt cold earlier from wearing hardly anything at all in attempts for the ceremony.

Lo’ak was present, he had grown taller you assumed, or you’d gotten shorter. His hair grew longer and his face more chiseled, he looked exactly like his father. You smiled and laughed softly to yourself as you remember previous thoughts of calling Neytiri a lucky woman with a vision for mating with Jake.

Even through the crowd you felt more eyes on you as you pushed yourself farther away, no longer wanting to participate in the long nights activities. A small headache wormed at the sides of your head around your ears, you ignored it and walked further away from the crowd.

Men, both older and younger had exchanged glances at one another before looking over to you with a smile. Immediately you turned on your heel, as if lunging away as you darted as far as possible.

Now running through the forest with all your might and your head throbbing you thought to yourself of the day, the week had ended, giving the possibility you thought of a highlight.

You couldn’t go home, that would draw more problems and unwanted attention. If this was to happen again you’d need to take things upon yourself and take your ikran to leave and go far towards the sole island you hadn’t seen in years.

You hadn’t planned this through, nor expected it this early after so long. The small pain in your head and irregular beating of your heart, breathe shorter than usual and drawing unruly attention from only un-mated men within the ceremony.

Your heat was approaching much quicker than usual. With short time and unfamiliar circumstances you quickly made your way towards the nests of ikran, silent as most of them moved around before gently waking yours.

It purred in response, happy to see you and be at your service, in one fellow swoop you mounted it and flew in the skies. As you watched below with a frown on your lips, the music of the celebration and screams were heard from below.

You turned your head to focus on what was at hand, a week long period of agony and sexual frustration.

taglist: @bakugouswaif @confusedexisting @nicki-lovesolderfictionalmen

♡/♛- It's Been A While [IV]

♡/♛- It's Been A While Masterlist

It’s been a full week, tossing, turning, driving, and working. There was no stop to what you were doing and exhausted wasn’t even the word you’d use to explain what you’ve gone through.

It’s also been a full week since you had a full conversation with Shouta, especially about what happened between the two of you.

You had acted like it hadn’t bothered you, which wasn’t the case, but you were too busy to genuinely sit and think of it, or think of ways to apologizing and speak to him again.

Hopping back and forth between therapy, the agency, and UA was a headache, there would be days were you’d go all day without eating just to end up being too tired to eat once you get back to your new ‘home’.

Either that or you’d stay up late at night looking at new places to move into, wanting to leave everything behind you as soon as possible.

It was saddening to look back on honestly, no matter who in the agency or at school would invite you into their group out to go drinking or partying you’d decline.

Your answer was always along the lines of “I’m too busy and have no time”, and before someone could push or pry into your business you had already turned around with the click of your heels and skipped off.

Thankfully the only relief you had received was that your time within the working of UA was nearly over, as more pro-hero’s and teachers were soon to be added to the upcoming semester. Just one more month and half the weight of your shoulders would be deduced.

Therapy was a major help also, you didn’t have to worry yourself entirely of attacks and trauma haunting you daily, the visits of them becoming less and less until you expected them all to be gone. It wouldn’t be the best idea to be taking the medication you’ve been prescribed anyways with your now bad eating habits.

Things weren’t perfect but they were smooth, nothing terrible had happened and no major attacks had occurred or come into light, you were okay. As long as you could keep things stable and pushing for now everything would be fine.

You couldn’t deny the uneasiness in your chest whenever you were driving back to the house, especially studying the hours of when Shouta would be home.

By the time you’d finish working for the day and head back he wouldn’t be there, and by the time you prepped yourself to head out to the agency he’d return.

Embarrassing enough it seemed the tension between the two of you was visible, especially within the halls or the teacher lounge.

It hadn’t helped that your classes were just down the hall from one another, so no matter if your door was open you would constantly see him at his.

It was awkward, and that’s just an easy way of putting it. You weren’t sure why but you felt like a wave of anxiety wash over you whenever his name or something that reminded you of him was around.

At first you’d let it get to you, but eventually you realized how badly it was effecting your work, so you swallowed it.

Just because you ignore something doesn’t mean it’ll go away forever, it’ll just come back twice as strong. You wanted to focus on the issue, figure out the right words to come forth and apologize the right way, but you didn’t know what to do.

Was it better to say what you think he’d like to hear or what’s actually on your mind. Regardless of what you say or how things end up you’d be eaten by anxiety regardless.

Maybe the best solution was to just find another place to live in and leave his life for good.

And that’s exactly what you planned on doing, like right now when you had come home way later than expected, going over to your old apartment and packing whatever else was left in there in your trunk.

You took a deep breath and shook off all nerves that were gnawing at you before putting the key into the door and turning the knob.

As you had done several times before, you hadn’t raised your head, keeping it hung low and paying attention to the small scuffs of dirt on your shoes as you closed and locked the door.

Your music was louder than usual, hopefully not too loud to catch onto others attention, but yet again they’re playing in your earphones for your entertainment, so you try not to care entirely.

You make a sharp right turn, walking down into the hallway and opening the door to your room, placing your work bag down on your bed before removing your coat with a sigh.

You sat on your bed and debated what you should do, talk to him tonight and let him know what was in store for the week, or wait until the last day.

It would be easier to talk to him today and get everything over with, so it was decided. It wasn’t easy, because as soon as you stepped out of your room it seemed as it all of the vessels in your body were attempting to pull you back.

The walk towards the dining room was agonizingly long, you had even paused your music and removed your headphones, making things worse in your case.

It felt as if you were walking across a dessert of silence, the faint sounds of muffled laughter from what you assumed was the TV grew louder as your steps became quicker.

It didn’t seem like the silence was hurting now, and you didn’t even have to think of an alternative of Shouta not being home, because you knew by this time he was, especially because the lights of the room were on and he was obviously watching TV.

The floor felt so cold, even through your thick socks, making your pace even quicker to get to your desired destination.

No matter how much you tried to ignore the bursting feeling in your stomach and chest it was obvious how bad your anxiety was.

If anything the entire look was probably plastered all over your face. It was definitely something no one could prepare you for, not even wiki how.

It would probably taint your search history with something so stupid. ‘How to tell your ex you’re moving out after making out with each other last week?’ yeah it sounded even dumber reciting it in your head, but it made you chuckle a bit, relieving some nerves.

Unfortunately those nerves went right back into action once your chuckle alarmed Shouta, making him whip his head over in your direction before turning his attention back to the television.

You frowned a bit, keeping your head down and fists clenched before making your way over to his side, sitting on the opposite side of the couch.

“I wanted to talk to you..” you longed, looking at the TV then back to him, watching as he used the remote to mute the TV and turning his head to you. He only looked at you, his eyes longing for your response with a look off sorrow in his eyes.

It was almost the same look he wore on his face years ago when you had planned to break up with him, crazily enough he had already knew before you told him, but it still didn’t help the pain he felt. Now he had to relive the entire thing over and over again.

“I know we haven’t been on the best terms all week, and I really am sorry for it all, but I didn’t want to make things awkward or anything without thanking you for letting me stay here for the time being, it-“

“You’re leaving.” He spoke, cutting you off, his tone was flat, hardly making his question actually sound like one, more of a statement or command. Thankfully you knew him well enough to know that’s not how it was meant to come out, you only nodded in response.

“I’ve found a new apartment to move into, and it’s more secure than my last. It’s also closer to the agency so I have a little more time on my hands.

It’s not a secured deal yet, but I’ve completely moved out of my last apartment and I can’t bombard your home so..” You spoke, nodding your head to yourself as you spoke as a way to agree with your choice in words.

There was a deafening silence for a moment, you stole several glances at Shouta, who only sat up now, adjusting himself onto the couch before turning to you fully.

You only looked away, placing your hands flat out onto your lap and patting them softly as if playing hand drums to soothe yourself.

“And you have to leave in order to find a better place for work.” He said, folding his arms as he thought to himself, earning an approving hum from you.

“Yes, it might be easier for me that way, I think the only downside is that it’s farther from the school and my therapy appointments, but it’s nothing but extra gas money.” You said, your eyes not leaving your lap as you now began to pick at the skin around your thumb.

“But do you want to leave here?” He asked subtly, now moving closer to you on the couch. You only blinked a couple of times before glancing over to the side slightly before turning back to your lap, swallowing harshly.

You made sure to take in his question, at least to a certain extent before daring to answer. It was a good question to be fair, you weren’t sure what you wanted.

You knew you couldn’t stay here forever, that much was true, but maybe a part of you fantasized about it after living here for a while.

You enjoyed your time with Shouta and everyone else from your childhood prior, you didn’t want to just move far away to see everyone less and focus more on the agency. Although you enjoy helping and working for those in need of it, it didn’t necessarily mean you enjoyed doing all of it.

“I don’t have a choice and it really doesn’t matter whether I’d like too or not. The agency needs me and after what I’ve made you go through i’d be surprised if you’d want me around still..” You spoke, now straightening yourself out.

An odd silence was shared between the two of you again, this time shorter than last before you cut it down. It seemed strange to you to say the least, he hadn’t seemed angry at you, more upset or confused.

Honestly if the roles were reversed you might’ve hated him with a burning passion, but when he looks at you with that face it’s hard to keep the contact.

It makes you weak mostly, not with confusion or love but guilt, guilty for how you ended things and guilty for leaving things on edge last week.

“I’m really sorry, about… last week, I didn’t mean to hurt you.” You confessed, now placing your hands down at your sides onto the cushions, turning to look at Shouta.

“Is that why you’re too afraid to look at me?” He asked, now leaning his head closer to you in attempt to get you to make eye contact with him. You jolted slightly at the movement as you watched him, your eyes flickering away and back to the TV.

“It’s not fear, It’s…. guilt” you paused before turning to him again. His eyes never left your face before locking onto your own. He opened his mouth to say something, but no words came out, so he shut it and just stared.

You weren’t sure when or how it happened but the two of you were now closer, no longer hovering on either corner of the couch but now side by side in the center of it. Your eyes never left his and his never left yours.

“If I tell you I forgive you, will it be enough to make you stay?” He spoke softly, his voice dripping with sincerity and curiosity. If you had to push it you’d think maybe it was laced with vulnerability instead.

You sat and thought to yourself for a bit, turning your head to look away from him as his head still faced you. His breathing a little heavier before as you felt it tickle your shoulder.

Before you were able to conjure a response for his question he brought his hands up to your hair, brushing it off of your shoulder behind your ear to your back.

“I need you to stay with me..” he breathed and he watched as you shuddered at his words. You made reference to repeat the word ‘need’ in your mind over and over again, Shouta had rarely used that word even during your time together when you dated as teenagers.

He purposely hadn’t used the word want or like, he used need. He needed you and you weren’t sure how to even respond to it. Immediately you shot up from where you were sitting, furrowing your brows as you frowned.

“I can’t, we can’t do this. You have work at UA and I won’t be there for much longer, and I have to return back to the agency full time.” You said, looking off to the side so you wouldn’t have to see his hurt look.

“Why are you pushing me away.” Was all he said as he stood up beside you, tossing the remote back to the couch. You only hung your head low before eyeing him, your eyes burning as they threatened to let tears slip.

You only stood in silence, contemplating what to do or what to say to him. However or whatever you would’ve said wouldn’t have been as easy as your therapist had told you, that much was evident.

He only studied your expression with a frown, wondering why and how things had gotten as bad as they had now. "You've been pushing me away and shutting me out since after we graduated as teenagers. Whatever the reason was it was enough to make you breakup with me." He said, attempting to earn a reaction out of you, which failed.

"This was a bad idea, I'm sorry for bothering you." You protested, folding your arms as you made your way out of the living room and towards your bedroom.

It wasn't a second later you heard Shouta's footsteps follow soon behind you, as if moving faster than usual.

As soon as you made way towards your door to step into your room he was behind you, his energy seeming to blend into yours.

You turned swiftly, only to be caught off guard by his lips smashing into yours, your body immediately responding as you kissed him back, your arms wrapping around the back of his neck.

He nearly immediately slammed shut your bedroom door from behind him before focusing his full attention on you.

You were quick to wrap your legs around his waist as he deepened the kiss, your tongues entwining with one another.

“Shouta” you said to him, watching his every move. He only hummed in response and kissed your palm as you made your way on top of him, straddling him now.

His other hand made its way to your lower back, now keeping you in place as his kisses traveled higher, from your palm to your arm and now your shoulder, not removing his eyes from yours.

You looked away nervously, feeling a familiar tingle in your lower belly, you knew exactly what he was doing.

He soon placed his hand from your lower back onto the back of your neck, slowly bringing your head down to kiss him passionately. It felt nice, he felt nice, you couldn’t complain, nor could you just turn or look away from him, you were captivated by him.

You were the first to pull away, your breathing heavy as you looked at him, he still kept his hand on the back of your head.

He only pushed your head back for your lips to connect yet again, but not kissing the same as before. It was wet and sloppy, your tongues practically fighting-

no,

Dancing with one another, and it only made the weak feeling within your lower belly stronger as he moved his hands, now gripping both sides of your hips as he kissed you eagerly.

You quickly pulled away, covering your mouth and wiping out of embarrassment as a small line of saliva dripped from it and down to your chin.

The two of you began to work together frantically, removing any bit of clothing that separated the two of you from being skin to skin. Clothes became friends with the floor for the time being as he unclipped your bra from behind.

Now seated in the middle of the bed you two shared he began to kiss your skin above your collarbone while you grinded on him, both of you partially clothed and breathing heavily.

He had gone to bed with nothing but his boxers on, but now he was threatening to take them off in one quick move, unable to bear the teasing anymore.

His hands roamed your body, teasing your nipples through your top as you mewled softly, grabbing his wrist softly as you guided his hand lower to your now wet spot on your underwear.

Throughout the time of your twos dirty work not a word was spoken to one another, well, barely. 

You had known each other’s bodies well enough and exactly what you craved, Shouta knew this and quickly got to work, unbuttoning the one small button that was practically ready to burst out from his erection, letting it spring out free.

When you moved back a little to look at it, it looked like he was in pain. Like painfully hard, honestly this wasn’t the first time, but it was sweet seeing how you had him this intense every time, he never seized to amaze you.

He began to tug at your underwear, to which you got off the bed, standing up as he watched your every move.

You bent over, hooking your thumbs into the hems of your underwear where they sat nice and pretty on your hips, shimmying a little as you pulled them all the way down to your ankles and stepped out of them.

You slowly made your way back onto the bed and on top of Shouta once again, who only looked at you in awe, and maybe hunger.

You only cupped your hands on both of his cheeks before kissing him again, this time he kept a hand on your hip as another one found its way to your core.

He cupped it softly as you jolted slightly, feeling his middle finger brush against your clit. He smiled into the kiss, placing his thumb over your clit and rubbing it gently, feeling the vibrations of you grunting and moaning in his mouth.

You pulled away, keeping a hand over your mouth yet again and his own mouth as you felt him insert a finger inside you.

Immediately pushing up into you as far as he could, watching as your shivered slightly, and removed your hand from his mouth, moaning into your hand.

He soon removed his hand from your hip and grabbed your wrist, removing your hand from your mouth and kissed your palm yet again.

Within a short period of time, you felt an immense amount of pressure build up inside of you, making you immediately want to shut your legs. It was surprisingly keen how well the two of you moved with one another when you'd been away for so long.

 He chuckled to himself slightly as he stuck his tongue out, teasing you and watching as your back arched before sucking on your nipples and inserting another finger.

You quickly grabbed onto his shoulders, now riding his fingers as you were trying your best to reach your high and quickly, knowing he wouldn’t let you cherish this bliss moment for long.

He soon began to lick your upper torso, the sweat beads that rolled off your body were his to consume, as if your entire body was a drug he was high on.

It was as if you had jinxed it because just seconds before you were ready to cum, he quickly removed his fingers from within you, keeping his thumb on your clit and coming to a full stop in movement. Before you were even able to stop your moans and begin your whining and protests, he aligned his cock with your entrance.

Without warning or count, he quickly thrust himself inside, halting and burying himself within your chest as he moaned along with you, your nails now digging deeper into his shoulders.

You had completely forgotten how vocal Shouta was, damn near as vocal as you, and you loved every moment of it.

“No condom?” You gasped, now playing with his hair as he kept his head between year breasts, slowly moving inside you. He only shook his head slightly, bringing his head back up and looking you in the eyes and kissing you.

"You don't know how long, I've waited for this." He groaned, dipping his head down before moaning into your flesh, making you shiver.

You attempted to bounce back on him while he thrusted into you, just for him to wrap both of his arms tightly around your bottom and thrust into you even harder.

Now repeating his earlier actions and sucking on your nipples, watching as you unraveled within his arms, only getting more turned on by the sight. His mouth now moved to your neck, giving you several hickeys and wet sloppy kisses.

As he quickened his pace you tapped his chest lightly, feeling the same blissful feeling as before coming back.

Your lower abdomen feeling as if it was floating while the rest of your body was hot and shaking. He only smiled, taking this as the most perfect time to tease you.

Your eyes rolled to the back of your head for only a moment, soon after you came down, your breathing ragged. His thrusts had now slowed down, becoming sloppier than before as he began to breath heavier, his orgasm not far behind from yours.

As verbal as he was before he wasn’t that way now, focused on reaching his orgasm as he screwed his eyes shut, taking deep breaths.

As your head rested on his shoulder you too began to moan aloud and grunt softly, his thrusts overstimulating you as you had just come down from your orgasm.

You quickly began to clench around his cock, attempting to make him reach his high sooner, which worked.

He buried his face alongside your side as he huffed, muttering a series of words, words of praise if you will, before completely reaching his orgasm.

His last thrust sent shivers down your spine as he came inside of you, not leaving a single drop to waste, staying inside of you for a moment before pulling out and kissing your shoulder.

“Are you alright?” He asked, as you pulled away, looking at him and smiling, nodding to him as you brushed his hair away from his face, that had to stuck to his temple from his sweat.

He smiled softly at you, seeing your tired expression and actions before sitting upright in the mess of sheets between the two of you.

"I'll run a bath for us." He said, standing now as he caressed your back softly as you laid nude on your belly. His touch was tender, soft, no matter how warm or hot he felt against you from the intimate moment you just shared.

"Okay" you replied tiredly, not feeling the will to move as you kept your body still. As you watched him leave shivers ran down your spine, glancing at his nude body and previous injury that seemed to have healed well as it left a scar.

You heard slight movement and clicking, then water flowing from the bathroom beside your bedroom. Soon enough Shouta arrived back at your bedroom and came over to your side, coddling you.

Soon the two of you made your way towards the bath and entered after one another and relaxed for a while.

As you two laughed and bathed one another in short comings. Enjoying one another’s company felt pleasing, it felt like home.

A satisfied sigh escaped your lips as you smiled. The two of you were embracing one another before he spoke.

“So, now are you going to tell me what’s going on with you?”

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Taglist: @getoisinnocent @shibataimu @geniejunn @hierophantmeme @kriscr0ss @r0wz4nn

➸ WARNINGS; - wc.6.1k, sexual tension, arguing, frustration, mentions of alcohol, drinking, drunk kissing, drunk sex, under the influence mention, partying, teasing, obsession and possesive mention, slight infidelity, mentions of cheating, masturbation, kissing, fluff, smut, etc.

➸a.i; - 🌸my main navigation, so sorry it's been like MONTHS since my last update on this story im so embarrassed. I just realized my last post to this was around christmas? bye its summer break, im working on the aizawa fic as well and posted last night. I've also made an AO3 account this week, so I'll be active on both accounts and take requests on either. thank you! (also not proof read)

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[Patience II , Patience I]

“I don’t need saving, I had it handled.” You groaned, busting open the doors to your main shared office with Katsuki before walking over to your space and placing your things down.

“A thank you’d suffice. Why do you have to be all upset over it, press was eating you alive.” He responded, beginning to remove his gauntlets before closing the doors and locking them. Your jaw tightened at his words before you turned to him.

“Thank you Dynamite. My hero.” You said through gritted teeth before rolling your eyes and going back to unpacking your belongings. You heard him scoff from behind you.

“You’re bein annoyin’. Can you stop doin that and stop treatin me like it’s all my fault?” He said in an agitated tone, tossing his gauntlets onto his desk as they cluttered together with his other items loudly, making you jump a bit. “Yea the press got too into your relationship with your stupid little boyfriend, so-“

“Respectfully sir. Whatever I do with my time and who I do it with when I leave this damn building is none of your concern. Nor is it any of your business who I bring into my apartment or my bed for the night. The press is shameful for causing a stir, but you’re even more immature and selfish for making it worse.” You spat, now turning around to face him as you pointed.

This entire situation was insufferable especially so early in the morning. Even when you both expected the situation to die down months ago after he came towards you with the news of your business nearly being outed it still managed to follow you and bite you back in the ass.

Now the pictures of you and your friend had flooded the streets, being caught at a restaurant and an apartment complex similar to yours, but it was actually his. The two of you hadn’t been officially together but you weren’t open to anyone else either, still working through the labels.

Now, this morning the press had been anchoring down on your future and your plans and if you new ‘relationship’ would pry into your work. As shoving others aside and shutting down reporters Katsuki had the nerve to repeat the question back to you, asking how serious the two of you were.

Now here you were, bickering back at one another, arguing like high schoolers. Yes you owed him the truth and clarity as he was now your superior, but after over a year of being with one another almost everyday you’d think things wouldn’t have to be so hostile.

After of what felt like hours, which were only minutes of frustration and build up lashing out at one another, you sat at your desk in silence. Your back faced to the outside world and Katsuki as you took a deep breath attempting to focus on your computer work for the day.

You started with clearing calendars and schedules, doing whatever didn’t require you to speak to Katsuki as of right now. You could hear some noises and clinking from behind you but you only ignored it, putting in one earbud as you worked.

Hours passed as you neared the end of your shift and work online. Whatever you had to confirm with him verbally or in person you made sure to write it down to ask another time if you weren’t able to email him a link of things. Police reports, hero reports and even council meetings with the agency or board.

Your brows furrowed as you looked at the time on your laptop, reading a soft glow of 8:12pm. You only exhaled softly before resting your chin in your hand before scrolling some more on tomorrow’s schedule.

The thick tension in the room was undeniably intoxicating enough to make you want to scream. Things hadn’t felt fair today and for the first time in what seemed to be a lifetime you had your first genuine fight with Katsuki.

So much could’ve been on the line at the moment, your reputation, your paycheck, your respect and even your job. You felt something twist at your gut as you sat in silence, biting at your bottom lip.

Usually when something upsets you, you’d run it by him and he’d just say alright or blow it off to not raise any issues. Now this time was different, because you had blown up at him and refused to take either of those actions as an answer, and here you were.

Even your relationship with Katsuki was on the line as of now, at least that’s what you were convinced. You had gotten so close with the man and he became everything you hadn’t expected, you were able to make him smile and even laugh, each time blooming a warmth within you that you hadn’t understood.

It certainly wasn’t one you had with your friend Ren, if you could even call him a friend. The things you’ve done or said to one another certainly weren’t friendly actions. Maybe you were at fault for the first half, taking out your frustrations and anger from unhappiness on everyone but the actual reason.

You felt your eyes begin to sting for a moment before swallowing. Hoping to flush whatever nerves and heat that rose to your face at the moment. Work might be one of the worst places to cry, and it certainly wasn’t something you’d begin to do today.

In one fellow swoop you clicked your laptop to sleep and closed it, standing up from your seat and pushing in your chair. Slowly you gathered your belongings, your mind racing as to think of what to say, or how to start it.

Soon you gathered all of your things on your side and got a hold of your coat, holding it in your hands as you made your way over to Katsuki, who was seated at his desk in different clothing on his two screened desktop.

“I wanted to apologize for today sir, it was never my intention to cause such a large issue or ruckus between us.” You said apologetically, bowing as you did so, a small frown falling upon your lips.

He only looked up at you, not responding. No reaction was plastered on his face, not one of surprise or shock, maybe even anger or sadness, nothing. He stared at you as if looking at a wall, clicking his tongue before moving off to the empty side of his desk before gesturing you to sit down.

“Do you drink?” He asked you, already grabbing two glasses and placing them down on the table as you watched him. You raised a brow at the question before answering truthfully, making him walk over to the large fridge/freezer from behind him as he opened it to reveal neat whiskey.

He sat down, pouring an ample amount of whiskey into each cup, pouring more into his before placing the cap on the bottle. He could feel your eyes on his, feeling the confusion in your gaze, but he hadn’t faltered any of his movement. He only placed the bottle to the side and slid your cup over to you before speaking.

“You have nothin to apologize for. I was wrong for buggin you with it anyways, you were stressed enough.” He started, picking up his chilled glass and taking two gulps before starting again. “Whatever you do, or whoever you do is none of my business.” He finished, taking another swig of his drink before placing his cup down, raising a brow as he watched you.

You sat there with your cup, resting in your hands but untouched. You only looked into it with an even wider frown now, brows furrowing slightly as you took in his words, eyes flicking over to him and back to the cup.

“Is that your way of an apology?” You asked, earning a soft chuckle from him, if you hadn’t been so focused on him you would’ve missed it for sure. “I was sure you’d hate me” you ended, before taking a large mouthful of your drink, nearly finishing it.

“I could never hate you” was all he said as he watched you, before finishing his own short glass. He only turned to open the bottle of whiskey again before pouring himself more and pushing the bottle closer over your now empty cup, filling it to the top as he did for his own.

His words echoed in your head, you smiled softly. Never was a strong word to use, especially given the circumstances of this morning. You only looked down into your glass again, feeling the back of your neck and ears heat up intensely as your stomach felt light.

“If I didn’t know any better I’d say you’ve grown very fond of me.” You said in a joking manner, earning a hum in response from Katsuki. “You might even like me sir.” You said on edge, boring your eyes into his face to rile a reaction out of him, he only took a mouthful of whiskey before parting his lips to answer.

“Take it however you want to” he responded, watching as you enjoyed yourself as you drank. The warm in your chest from the alcohol felt so relaxing once it settled, immediately feeling the effects seep into your head and spread all over your body.

You placed your coat in your lap now, making yourself more comfortable as you let your down from the ponytail it was in. You took a sigh of relief as you did so, immediately feeling better.

Katsuki watched you, his eyes training over your face and body like a predator watching its prey before making its move. He was thankful for having alcohol here, hoping it would hide whatever blush that would appear if things came to worse.

He’d rather flush out the feeling of anxiety and jealousy in his chest with the warmth of the alcohol, wanting to forget all of this morning. He had expected you two were close, closer than he anticipated, than he hoped for. His slight subtle touches and sayings never went by you, and yet you ended up with another man.

When he found out that this morning it dug into his skin harsher than anything he had felt for years. Like the feeling when Izuku had grown a quirk at random, or when he was beaten over and over again in competition of his other classmates and superiors in challenges, exams, and even missions.

Because now he was in competition all over again, and the challenge was you, to grasp at your attention and become a priority of yours. Maybe if he had kissed you back all of those months ago before walking you to your car, things would be different.

As strong as Katsuki was, as powerful as he was and as wealthy as he was, he wasn’t anything short of a coward. All he could do was sit and watch you slip away from his fingertips no matter how hard he tried to grasp at you.

It wasn’t fair, none of this was fair to him. Whoever you were with now surely didn’t deserve you, they surely didn’t make you as happy as he could. Like how he’d watch you grin from ear to ear when you’d try new food you’d enjoy, or when someone makes a mistake you’d point out in meetings with the agency only to be rewarded of your sharp eye afterwards.

It felt like now things had started to move backwards. The time and energy that you’d built off of one another was now being flushed down a toilet right before his eyes. He wasn’t sure what idea had hurt him more, you being out of touch with him to be with another man, or the fact you just simply wanted nothing to do with him in the first place.

He only frowned at the thought before turning his gaze elsewhere, the bittersweet taste of the whiskey now seeming to get to him. He only pushed the bottle further aside before getting up and walking towards the opposite side of his desk, grabbing his phone.

“I can call you a ride to talk you home.” Was all he said, listening as you hummed to him in agreement. His eyes flickered over to your tipsy eyes, you grinned widely at him, your teeth showing. He only looked back over to his phone and shut his eyes tightly, removing the mental image he placed of you in his head.

Maybe drinking with you alone was a horrible idea. He had only wanted to rid of the bad tension of this morning, but he seemed to have made things worse. Your hooded eyes and cheeky grin, hair lowered down to the sides of your face and your glossy lips being less flush as your makeup stained the glass.

He only made his way over to you, one hand holding his phone while the other held his glass, raising a brow at you as you sat up straight. “Do you want me to call them now?” He asked, earning a small shake of the head from you, before slowing your movements and smiling again.

You stood up now, leaning over the desk to reach for the half filled bottle of whiskey before Katsuki reached over stopping your hand, all after putting his phone in his pocket. You stood up straight to look at him, rolling your eyes before taking his glass from his hands and downing the rest, maintaining eye contact with him.

He only swallowed before looking off to the side, taking the glass from your hands and placing it down onto the desk. You only looked at him, moving your head slightly to the side to lock eyes with him again.

“You should go home.”

“I want to stay here longer, I just got com-“

“Your shift ended a while ago, I’ll call a car.” He cut you off, reaching into his pocket again grabbing his phone. You stopped him before he was able to pull it out.

“Please… Katsuki.” You pleaded, brushing your hand away from his wrist as you placed it on his chest, his face hovering over yours. That same scent of his familiar, sweet like nectar mixed with cologne and it drove you mad.

You asked yourself if his lashes had always been so long, and brown as well, not blonde like the rest of his hair or eyebrows. Or how he had the smallest freckles this close to his face, you couldn’t see them before from far away even with your glasses on.

You let your fingertips dance across Katsuki’s face for a while, and surprisingly he let you. Not moving or complaining as you did so, making you smile even harder, feeling your cheeks start to strain.

“You’re very pretty for a boy.” You cooed, now tracing out his freckles of his face before kissing the side of his cheek softly, now on your tip toes before pulling back. You only felt both of his strong hands rest on each side of your waist before pulling your body closer to his.

“Don’t do something you’ll regret, you have to go home Y/n.” He stated, holding you in place and lowering his head. You only lifted his face again as you reached on your tip toes, now kissing the bridge of his nose, gasping as his fingers now dug into your skin, lifting you up onto the desk to sit beside the empty glasses.

“You’re drunk.”

“I’m not”

“Prove it.” He gasped, his face flushed as his hands never left your side, watching you as you laughed. He watched the way your throat bobbed and you tossed your head back, your hand coming towards your mouth as if to hide it.

“My name is Y/N L/N, today is Thursday and we’re in year 20XX. I can walk in a straight line too.” You said, counting off your fingers as you named every obvious detail as you looked at the calendar on the wall from afar.

“Don’t do this to me” he said in a whisper, barely loud enough for you to catch onto, but you did. You only raised a brow at him as he wore a frown on his face, letting go of you suddenly before getting his phone and sending out a message, his phone dinging within seconds.

He only grabbed your belongings without warning, taking your glasses and accessories and placing them in your bag. Lifting them off your and his desk before making his way back over to you, grabbing your coat as you stood up off his desk.

He grabbed your hand, pausing for a while as you intertwined your fingers with one another as you made your way to the elevator. He pressed the down button, waiting for it to open silently. He didn’t dare turn around to look at you, his pulse sky rocketing and mind racing in confusion.

Soon the elevator arrived and he only waltzed in with you, your hand soon slipping from his grasp as you stood inside, watching him with a satisfied hum. The tension inside seemed to buzz louder than the dying alcohol in your system had, making you more flustered than you possibly already were.

You weren’t sure how or what lead to the moment, although you were sure you made the first move, but as of right now he had you pressed against the wall of the elevator, just underneath the large camera serving as a blind spot as he kissed your lips roughly.

His tongue tasting the same as the whiskey you’d had with him upstairs earlier as your bag was dropped to the elevator floor. You moaned into his mouth as both of your hands were wrapped around the back of his neck, as his hands seemed to maneuver every way over your body.

Starting from cupping your face to hugging at your hips and waist, crawling down to squeeze at your ass and even hold you up by your thighs as you straddled him. The short, but painfully sinful moment being cut as the elevator dinged, making him practically jump off of you.

He gasped, attempting to slow his breathing as you did the same, your fingers ghosting over your lips as you did so. He was quick to pickup your bag as you fixed your ruffled skirt and wrinkled blouse. As you stood towards the entrance of the elevator as the doors opened Katsuki stopped you, fixing your hair in the way it had looked before it all started before letting you step out first.

The walk through the lobby and out into the lot was absolutely silent, you only snuck glances at one another in secrecy. From what you’d seen on Katsuki he seemed overjoyed, a large smile, genuine at that placed over his face as he walked.

As you made it outside towards his driver he held the door open for you, handing you your bag as you sat. You only nodded and thanked him as he closed the door, your window rolled down.

“Thank you… for today. I’ll let you know once I make it home.” You said cheerfully, he only nodded, his hands resting in his pockets before taking a step back, nodding his head to the driver as a signal for you to go.

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Katsuki Bakugo isn’t in love, and he certainly isn’t in love with you. It would be the only way to explain his crazy attitude and actions recently, but that couldn’t be the case.

He understood love, he had loving and caring people in his life who showed it to him, but none of those people he loved had made him to thibns like these.

He was unable to sleep, eat, bathe without fully engulfing in memories of you. Dreaming of you at night, or even imagining you eating dinner with him in his large house alone.

There have even been times you’ve been in the shower with him, your head tilted back a bit for the water to drip down your body, all for him to watch you, or masturbate as he did so. He’d watch as his imagination of you would roll your nipples underneath your pinching fingers as you teased and played with yourself, moaning his name over and over.

You’d always keep eye contact with him as you did so, and somehow always cumming at the same time. Then after things ended you’d disappear from his shower, from his thoughts, until night would come.

He was sure he was wasting his twenties away, that this was some sort of illness. He had went through all stages of ‘love’ he had deemed impossible and entirely unnecessary.

There was the stage of affection or crushing, that was how it had all started off. Catching glimpses of you longer than he should have, hanging with you longer than usual and listening to your small talk, making mental notes of what you liked.

He was sure that stage ended after the interaction with his parents for the first time, and even after mentioning your name on accident to his friends. He hadn’t seen you as anything then, just sure it was the work atmosphere and liking to let loose with you from time to time.

That’s not what coworkers or employees do, that’s what friends do. Yes, the two of you became a baseline of friends outside of work from that small time period and he was quite fond of it, but it still hadn’t entirely described all he felt.

Like the small chances of jealousy, especially more than usual recently, and lust. The lust was intoxicating beyond a point he could stand. He was honestly so surprised with himself he hadn’t just fucked you rough to have his hips snap into your pelvis repeatedly on his desk after your lips ghosted over his face over and over. You were such a tease and he hated it for himself, he hated more that you hadn’t even seemed to remember anything else you did the next day.

Don’t get him started on the concept of obsession either, seeing things in public or on social media pages and thinking if you’d like it. Than forcing a schedule that revolved around you in it daily, even if you weren’t working that day he had to see you. It wasn’t healthy in the slightest but in all honestly who was Katsuki to give a single fuck about anything he was obligated to not do.

Like how he’d pry and as more about you and your “mystery” man you still had yet to reveal his name and background to him for. Or how he’d have your log in information and password for your laptop and check on things every now and then, emails and webpage history. Taking note of what you’d do and what you had set up for yourself outside of work hours and away from the agency behind his back, smiling to himself when there was hardly anything there.

He never saw himself as those weirdos he’d tease from crime television, or stalkers he’d heard stories of. He was an admirable man, at least he tried to be, being less of a wreck and head over hells in anger issues as he grew older.

He might have not been calm as much as he’d like to be but he had managed the collected half. Now since your intimate moment in his office after having a glass or three in his office he was sure keeping his distance from you would be best.

Maybe you were lying, for your own sake and dignity about not remembering. Shame could be a reason, or fear, fear of how your relationship would continue if you had acted on those feelings before.

And it hadn’t helped that he let it happen, his pride weak and grip even weaker. He was in a mental battle with himself, telling you to leave and stop but grabbing you and pulling you closer to him. Allowing your lips to rest upon his face and your hands rest on his chest, as you spoke of your familiar boyfriend in the morning.

Katsuki wondered if he should’ve felt bad for the man. The press and public getting ahold of his relationship with you and yet you were in his office, pressing soft kisses and giggles onto his face.

But as you mentioned you didn’t remember, so there was no reason to think or act on anything. If he could go back and do things differently he would, but he’s not sure he’d be able to have the balls to do it.

He wondered for a while how your relationship was, whether you were enjoying yourself and happy with the way things worked out. A part of him agreed that couldn’t have been the case since you seemed so ready for him to take you, and even wondered if you two were truly official.

Maybe if he knew the answer to those questions the guilt that gnawed on his heart that night would have no reason to even be there. He was entirely sure he would be able to satisfy whatever need or desire your body craved, or whatever your flaunted boyfriend couldn’t provide.

No matter the reason or cause, Katsuki was sure he wasn’t one of the worst men on the planet, and certainly not the most jealous, which eased his mind. Some men in his situation would’ve either killed the woman they’re infatuated with or kill the 3rd involving party, leaving a gruesome look and record.

He was very far beyond that point and he knew he had nothing to worry about. Except for tonight of all nights that is, being out with his friends at a large bar, to which they practically begged him to invite you.

You had made your familiarities with all of them before, during Katsuki’s birthday, and yours had passed a while back to have a nice dinner with everyone. So seeing them all again and sharing laughs and drinks were evident, especially when Mina gasped at your forwardness.

“I mean, it’s like he hates me or something! Going around and hiding for months and he still has yet to call me his girlfriend! Technically we aren’t dating so I can do whatever the fuck I want!” You shouted, throwing your arms up in frustration as the others laughed, Katsuki stayed quiet, eyeing you.

He had spoke less and less throughout the night, but this had immediately caught his attention. He turned his head to face you, sitting two seats down across from him as you laughed along with Mina, taking another shot before speaking.

"I'd never date a guy like him anyways, it's just something to pass the time, he gets it." Was all you said before earning a couple laughs and 'oh's' from others, and a brow raise from Katsuki.

"Girl you're speaking like you've got another guy on your mind." Mina gasped, you only looked off to the side with a smirk, not bothering to respond. She only squealed in response as you finished your drink, humming softly.

She went on and on with the others, inquiring to know who it was that had you so captivated to the fact you were too embarrassed to share. You only ignored it, waving your arms profusely as you watched your empty cup. You looked over quickly to catch Katsuki's glaze in yours before looking back over to the others, making sure it wasn't detected.

As the night continued on, more and more empty glasses and bottles littered your large, shared table, and eventually, you bid everyone your farewells before standing up. As you turned to leave you bumped into Katsuki's chest accidentally before pausing and looking back, your apology slurring.

He only turned with you, his hand resting on your lower back as he escorted you to the car, he was speaking to you, but you only hummed in response. His words sounded too rapid for you to understand, or maybe it was just the alcohol. You only entered the car, his hands never leaving your body as you entered, you only mumbled as you put your seatbelt on.

He sat beside you, a seat separating the two of you as he leaned forward to talk to the driver. You only kept your eyes trailed on his figure, dressed in casual attire. You never took him as a man to wear jeans so often, he seemed more of a dress pants kind of guy, but it didn't seem to matter too much.

It reminded you of a photoshoot he had scheduled for an upcoming modeling agency that asked him to wear a full denim outfit. Denim jeans and a jean jacket, shirtless as the hem of his underwear hung at his waistline, poking out of his pants. Those photos are still something engraved in your mind, you bit your bottom lip to stifle a giggle that was soon to slip out.

He only sat back as he heard you, turning to face you as you smiled widely, batting your lashes at him. He looked out your window for a minute, watching as the middle window separating the backseat and the driver rolled up. You lifted your fingers up, tracing the corners of his face and cheeks, brushing his hair away from his sides.

He leaned down in front of you, faces only centimeters away from one another. You made the first move, leaning in closer to him as your lips brushed against one another, testing the waters with a large grin. Before you could even pull away he leaned down and kissed you eagerly, his hands gripping at your face and throat, angling your face upwards at him.

He hesitated a little before licking at your lips before you invited him into your mouth without a second thought. If it wasn't for the fogginess of your mind and the butterflies in your stomach gnawing at your focus you could've sworn, he was smiling into the kiss as he did so.

In the small moment of shared gasps and moans throughout your make-out with Katsuki, the vehicle comes to a short stop. You're the first to pull away, looking out your window to see your apartment complex. You gasp into a smile, immediately removing your seatbelt before turning to Katsuki and opening your door, grabbing his hand in a way to pull him out.

He's surprised, but obliges, too drunk to truly care now that you've arrived back at your place without harm. He soon comes out of the car with you and you give the driver a quick thank you and wave before dragging Katsuki along with you through your front door after unlocking it with your keycode combination.

He's drunk now, but he wishes he would somehow be able to remember the code in case of emergency in the future. You only kicked your shoes off and began to attack him with kisses, not making it past the entrance of your home.

He was quick to respond, slamming the door shut behind him as he grabbed you, lifting you up onto his waist as you wrapped your legs around him. Moans and whines were thrown around in the air as he tossed you onto the nearest piece of furniture he could find, your couch.

Kisses turned into bites, grasping turned into grabbing, removing clothing and brushing hair aside until the two of you were completely nude on the couch. You moaned into Katsuki as he continued, the night advancing as you began to sober up, him doing the same.

“Katsuki” you whined, placing your hands on his torso attempting to push him with the little to no strength you had as he thrusted into you with no remorse, grunting at your words.

He was above you, pressing against you to the point you thought you were genuinely melting into the large couch. Your legs were spread for him, as he made himself more than comfortable between them, his upper broad body caging your much smaller one.

He only grunted in your ear, uttering lines between pet names and cursing how good you felt. Honestly you weren’t sure why you were pushing him away, it felt so good, but it was too good. The feeling was making your head spin and your heart pounding through your chest and your body trembling slightly.

“Want me to stop?” He panted, his pace now begging to slow down a little bit as his strokes now became sloppy, looking into your eyes as you shook your head, now digging your nails into his shoulders as you moaned.

My god, it felt as if he was splitting you into two, and you loved every second of it, you whined like a big baby, and he loved it. You felt as if you would’ve burst and couldn’t handle it, and he would just baby you and push you through it.

His positive words would ring through your ears as you babbled, now softly sobbing into his chest as he pressed back down onto you, rutting into you like some kind of animal. You only reached your arms out over his back, hugging him now as you began to do the same with your legs, locking him in place as you felt your high approaching.

He could already tell you were close from how you held him, and your crying getting louder. His grunts and moans became louder, repeating his phrase of 'oh fuck’ over and over again into your neck as he was close as well. You began to squeeze around his length as he dug deeper into you, placing one hand on your lower stomach, repeatedly tickling your cervix with his cock.

You began to grow louder; whoever your neighbors were would’ve definitely heard the sounds of your voices mixing with one another and your skin speaking to one another. Katsuki quickly pulled you into a passionate kiss, your tongues quickly tangled with one another as he pulled his head away, now completely focused on making you cum.

As your vision was clouded in tears you could see the beads of sweat rolling down Katsuki's forehead and neck now, you wrapped your hands around his neck. You quickly began to feel a familiar tightening in your stomach as your heart fluttered softly. You weren't sure if it was the alcohol to blame for the way you felt and how much your body responded back to his, but it was nothing you'd ever felt before.

“I’m gonna- baby, I’m so close,” you babbled, now shutting your eyes tightly, letting the tears streaming down the sides of your face as you mewled. He only huffed and hummed in response, keeping the same pace as he came down to your ear. In a way, you prayed this moment wouldn't end; the blissful enjoyment of making love to one another was so suffocating.

“M'gonna fill you up, keep ya nice n’ full” He whispered, letting out a grunt afterwards as his breath hitched. You had finally reached your breaking point as you had already once tonight beforehand. Your orgasm ripping through you as you shouted out, holding onto your lover for dear life as you began to spasm, your legs shaking slightly while still being wrapped around his large back.

Your own orgasm had sent him over the edge, now coming to a complete stop and placing all of his strength into burying himself deep into you, the head of his cock kissing your cervix as you groaned, feeling him twitch inside of you before quickly cumming inside of you.

You both laid there for a moment, your legs still around him as he was still buried deep in you as you caught your breaths. Cursing 'fuck' in unison as you both began to come down from your high before he pulled out, groaning as he did so. The two of you just laid there, looking into one another's eyes before he leaned down to kiss you, clearly exhausted.

He only moved over to the side, grabbing a large blanket that had been folded behind him from your previous laundry before throwing it over the top of you two. He rested his head between your breasts and kissed the area softly; you only smiled at him sleepily before wrapping your arms around his head.

Without even realizing it, you fell asleep almost immediately, praying things would smooth out in the morning.

They in fact, did not.

✗♡✗♡✗♡✗♡✗♡✗♡

Taglist: @matchat3a @pikachuzhc @froggy-crystal @idiotboys @gojosukuna2268 @dragonscribbles @adherethecomingofage

➸a.i; - 🌸my main navigation, uhhh not proof read.. also i created an account on AO3 and posted my fics from here on there already. the link is here. (kryptznnn)

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He makes a mental reminder to talk some “sense” into his younger brother later on in the day after he’s done with comforting you from yet another day of disappointment. Your head rested against his broad chest as you sob softly and listen to his heartbeat.

It’s wrong, at least that’s what you told yourself before completely collapsing into his arms after your so called “lover” has left you yet again to go off and do whatever he wastes his time doing. Today was meant for celebration and happiness between the two of you.

Of course you hadn’t told that to Neteyam but he already knew that. Today was your year anniversary together, and yet you were here and his brother was wherever on Eywa’s beautiful terrain. It pained him to see you in such an estate but he stayed quiet, just placing a hand on your back in attempts to soothe you quicker.

You were sure he hated you, you always come crying or furious at whatever his brother has done to you and he just stands there to take it all in, the two of you don’t speak much, you speak more with Kiri, but whenever the two of you do it feels so strange. It’s as if there’s something lingering in the air or a hidden message behind his words you can’t decipher and it kills you.

You can see it in his eyes now as you pull away from him, catching a quick glimpse at him before placing your head down and wiping your damp face quickly, placing an image in your head of what you could look like at the moment. He doesn’t say anything, he only watches you, his lips part as if to say something but nothing comes out.

His hand stays at his side, but he wants to reach out. He feels the need to do so, as if it’ll make things easier for him to rest his whirlwind of emotions. He wishes it was as easy to release his emotions on command like you did, cry when things felt unfair to him, lash out and break things or spar until he was bruised and bleeding from head to toe, but it wasn’t that easy.

It wasn’t easy to stay strong either, especially when the woman he’s longed for half of his whole life is standing right in front of him and there’s nothing he can do but stare. You’re not his to claim, he has no right over you, no title, no power, and it hurts.

He was sure nothing could’ve hurt him more than the wounds he suffered from his time with the Metkayina clan, and he was so wrong. When the bullet pierced through his skin it stung for so long, and overtime after he healed and slowed his movements his upper body became rigid and stiff, the wound began to close and the new skin and muscle became tight, leaving a nasty scar.

And regardless of what the scar reminded him of you never failed to compliment it when he came back home, came back home to you. You praised him for his bravery and the kindness you showered him with was unconditional, to him even though he was gone over a year you hadn’t changed at all, and he loved it.

He loved you.

Neteyam decided after so long of pushing things aside and placing his family and others first he’d place himself first, his desires and feelings, and when it all came down to one thing he was sure of it. He was in love with you, he couldn’t deny it or push it away, it was just how he felt.

He kept to himself as he always had, stealing glances at you longer than he should have, holding you longer than he should have been, even wasting time and coming home later than usual just to stumble upon the same path you had before.

It was comedic for him to say the least when he was enjoying dinner during Lo’aks’ birthday for his brother to announce he was interested in someone, and to his surprise that someone was also interested in him, to the point where his confession was accepted on that same day. His parents serenaded him and his siblings all shared giggles and stupid glances.

Even when Lo’ak pronounced your name Neteyam didn’t bat an eye, he didn’t haunt his movements, just continued to eat his food with a smile and a small nod. Your name sounded foreign on his lips, probably because Neteyam could already realize he pronounced it wrong.

He felt the same sting as he did when he was shot, but this time more rapid, more painful, more vulgar. It was larger, practically consuming his entire body and it was all his fault. He could see it in your eyes snd it killed him, as much as it pained him to look at the two of you he just couldn’t look away.

He knew he was a better option for you, you both did. He would’ve held you when he kissed you, not missing a spot on your perfect body. He’d fuck you better than his brother could, he would’ve made love to you, not just call it casual sex. He’d give you what you deserve and more, build a throne from his own hands if you hadn’t even asked for it.

He’d mate with you, start a family with you, whatever you’d want he’d give his life to make it happen. He was so infatuated with the idea of you it made him physically ill, restless nights in which he could only fall asleep by digging underneath his tewng as he moaned your name over and over.

There you were sitting with his brother, bashful smile plastered on your face as you batted your lashes 3 times. You’d only do that when you’re nervous, or how you’d pick at the skin of your thumbs when you’re overwhelmed from your own emotions as you listened to Lo’ak speak. Then you’d break out into laughter and slap his shoulder playfully before pulling him in for a sweet kiss.

It was passionate, so passionate to the point Neteyam believed he would’ve been sick if he continued to stare. Watching the two of you act as if no one else was besides you at the lakeside was draining, and maybe if he thought about it enough he would’ve lashed out, maybe even shed a tear, but his face was unmoved. He only turned his head to the other side after hearing his youngest sister call for his aid within the forest.

Now he was watching you wipe at your face several times, crossing your arms and looking to the side and biting the inside of your cheek. You’d only do that when you were embarrassed or ashamed.

He wondered if his brother knew that, if anything he wondered what exactly Lo’ak knew about you to have been with you for so long. Did his brother see you the same way he did to make him fall for you, and for you to be with him? The thought of the process made him feel sick to his stomach, he dropped his eyes down quickly, scanning the mossy floors beneath the two of you before you spoke.

“I’m sorry about this, it won’t happen again.” You spoke smoothly, your voice cracking slightly as you began. Neteyam’s eyes darted back to you, scanning your face.

Your lashes looked so much longer when they’re wet, and the redness in your eyes after so much crying and rubbing gave your face a sort of glow that would always make his stomach bubble. The gnawing and slight swelling of your lips made him to to kiss you and bite at them to mark them even worse, truly bring out the drained color from all over you.

“You said that before, and yet here we are.” He stated simply, both hands at his sides before he turned around to face his back to you. He was sure he was caught staring at you for too long and didn’t want to face you for whatever your response would be.

A pang of guilt was quick to hit your chest, your eyes darted off to the side. You thought to yourself what was best to do in a situation like this, but if anything you couldn’t just remain quiet.

“I apologize again” was all that was able to leave your lips, a slight quiver in your voice as if you were to cry again. Neteyam hadn’t moved, his body never faltered, not even a flick of his tail or twitch of his finger.

He hadn’t accepted the apology, and technically he hadn’t rejected it either. The two of you stood in silence for a while, assuming this short scene was over you only turned around and brought your thumb up to your mouth, biting at your nail silently as the grass crunches beneath you.

“Your relationship with him isn’t getting any better.” Were his words, and they made you completely stop in your tracks, not even walking two steps ahead. You smirked slightly at his words, unfortunately he wasn’t wrong, but it wasn’t that easy. You eventually hid your small smirk with a frown.

Maybe if this was different and maybe if he had understood your position he wouldn’t have prodded at the relationship. It felt too late to break off and start over again now, and Lo’ak had already rejected the idea so many times, even to take a break. It wouldn’t be easy with someone else who’d possibly put you through more than Lo’ak had.

There was a time and place the two of you argued so badly that you questioned whether or not you had ever even loved the man. You were smitten with him, the two of you were happy, you’d go out together eager to have your hands all over each other and make love to each other in the night.

Now you can’t remember the last time you hugged each other and meant it, or kissed his lips and let it linger for a while. You couldn’t even remember the last time he fucked you good enough, or fucked you at all.

Things like these were embarrassing to say aloud but they always floated at the top of your conscience. What’s worse is that you felt as if now you were placing two brothers against one another, and that wasn’t what you had implied to do at all, especially in such a short time period.

Lo’ak loved being in a relationship for its positives, not for all of the responsibility and mental maturity or baggage it came with. Unfortunately with that mindset you’d constantly be the one to pay the price.

Draining arguments, forgetting special days or fancy dinners, setting you aside or belittling you in front of others just to give him some edge off, he could’ve been caught in infidelity, but maybe that wasn’t true.

Maybe you were overdramatizing everything beyond your comprehension because you never had hold of the situation. Truly you never had control of anything with him, even when he had confessed to you and awaited your response, you truly never said “yes” to him, but you hadn’t rejected him either. Being the man he is he made the decision for you and the two of you have been on this adventure since.

“Okay” you responded in a hushed tone, raising your head up in hopes that Neteyam had heard you so you didn’t need to repeat yourself. You could hear as he made his way over to you, which made you turn swiftly only to be inches away from him yet again.

“Okay? That’s all you have to say?” He spoke, his voice raising in octave as he furrowed his brows. For some reason as if you could read him he didn’t seem angry with you or your words, more confused or dissatisfied.

“I already knew that, and I know things won’t change anyway. I’m sorry for bothering you. Again.” You spoke, bowing your head slightly before lifting it again, your head nearly grazing his chest. You heard him suck at his teeth and you swallowed, preparing yourself for his next words.

He hadn’t said a word, just looked off to the side, his previous dissatisfaction had now turned into anger and you took this as the opportunity to leave. Making your way to turn and walk away again he was quick to grab your wrist to sustain your movements and make you stay.

He pulled you in closer to him, your hand resting on his chest for support as you nearly toppled from being off balance. He parted his lips to speak, but paused for a moment before wetting them and locking his eyes with yours.

“Leave him” he said softly, his voice lowering a tone from his usual voice. It made you shudder at the sudden sound and the warmth from his breath fanning your face. His voice was completely different from his eyes, his eyes were pleading with you— begging you to do something you hadn’t dreamed of.

As if he was saying, “leave him to be with me” with just a look. At least that’s what you were telling yourself, and you sounded ridiculous, you looked ridiculous. You were with a man, more importantly his brother, and as many issues as there would have been you would stay loyal to him, at least for now.

If you can’t give him honesty or your true love anymore the least you could do is give him your respect and loyalty, it wasn’t hard to. Considering this man in front of you would have even thought or seen you of anything short of a woman would’ve blown your chance anyway.

He doesn’t like you, and you don’t like him, you lie to yourself. You find company in his resolve as everyone does as he’s the future Oloeyktan of your people, nothing else. He’s only telling you to leave his brother (as he has many times before) because it’s the only suggestion he has to offer.

There is no excess message, there is no tension, there is nothing between the two of you, at least there shouldn’t be. No relationship should be built between the two of you other than what his brother built for you two to use.

So you ignored the way your face and neck seemed to heat up suddenly at the gesture and phrase, and also ignored how your stomach seemed to drop. It hadn’t helped that Neteyam leaned his face in closer, your eyes on his lips and his eyes on yours, biting his own lips in the process.

Let Neteyam show you how a real man should treat a real woman. Ease into his touch and stand on your tippy toes, maybe even tip your head a bit to give him access to your lips, maybe your neck..

His other hand was quick to make way at your waist, and his hand had only been there at least once or twice before. Catching you when you fainted as children when you were ill and previously before when you had cried over Lo’aks’ fight with you over your future together.

You only stumbled back quickly, scowling at yourself for feeling gitty and excited at the sudden gesture. ‘He just wanted to hug me, possibly’ you told yourself to cool your nerves.

In all honesty you wish he would’ve leaned closer, which is a horrible thing to admit or even think about, but nothing could’ve stopped it. You swallowed again before speaking, head down and eyes at your feet.

“Thank you, I must go now.” And without a second you turned around and walked as normally as you could, quickening your pace the deeper you made it into the forest without missing a beat.

Neteyam hates you, at least he should. No man in their right mind would sit around and listen to a woman whine over lover problems, especially if they’re the brother to that ‘bad’ lover. If he did hate you, he had the best poker face to hide it, and his actions seemed even stranger.

Maybe he didn’t hate you, but after all it wasn’t like he was as close to like you either. You were sure of it, he only kept cordial and respectful to you because you’re with his younger brother. He must’ve been riddled with guilt earlier to make him do something so passionate or caring.

But his hands were so rough and large, larger than yours, his fingers longer too, how he cupped at your wrist and tightened his grip on your waist, squeezing slightly as if to test something. The entire thing made your stomach tighten again at the feeling and your ears warmer than usual.

He bit his lip, he looked into your eyes and bit his lip. He was tempting you he had to be, maybe it was all a test, in order to see where your strength or loyalty lies, even though you’ve been challenged and drained emotionally and mentally from the relationship.

Yes that’s all, it was just a test. At least now you know he definitely doesn’t hate you..

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A rough gasp escaped your lips as Lo'ak toppled over on top of you, slowly rolling over onto his side on your shared bed space and pressing a kiss at your shoulder. You smiled softly before turning to face him, wiping the sweat and wet hairs that clung to his forehead, the two of you out of breath.

"Told you I'd make it up to you" he teased, grinning from ear to ear. You only giggled softly, rolling your eyes at him as he chuckled. You pulled him into a passionate kiss, gasping as he wrapped his arms around your back, pulling you onto him. He took this invitation to slide his tongue into your mouth, to which you reciprocated with a moan.

You were quick to straddle him, already understanding what position this would've placed the two of you in. You pulled away first, gasping for air as saliva cut between the two of you, your naked bodies entangled with one another.

"You look so beautiful." Was all he said as he cupped your cheek softly, smiling up at you. The moment between the two of you was interrupted by a sharp knocking at the front of your hut, making you nearly fall off your lover.

You heard a voice call out for Lo'ak, before knocking again, making you quickly lift yourself off of him and collect your things off the floor and put your slim robes on. Your back was faced to Lo'ak the entire time but eventually he shouted out to give him a minute and you heard him rustling with his own things and opening the windows around.

You grabbed a robe you'd constantly wear in your shared cot before you made your way over to the entrance, raking your hair down with your fingers with a smile. You soon opened the flap to the entrance and greeted whoever it was with a smile, unexpectedly your breath was caught in your throat.

"Y/n.." Neteyam spoke in a hushed tone, you only glanced at him before letting him inside, your back colliding with someone's chest from behind you. You jumped slightly, startled that Lo'ak had already finished and was standing right behind you. He took note of your surprise and laughed, placing both of his hands at your sides before greeting his brother.

"Neteyam, how was training the boys of the village?" Lo'ak asked, walking further into the cot, Neteyam only frowned as he caught a quick glimpse of his brother's back, then to your face and collarbone. He only turned his head to the side and scrunched his face before speaking.

"It was alright, promising in most parts." He spoke smoothly, the faint smell of sweat going through his nose as the air from outside entered the mid-sized home. He earned a soft chuckle from his younger brother.

"Hopefully, they're easier to train and deal with than Tikal and I when we were their ages." He said, earning a small scoff from Neteyam, you turned to face him to see a small smile plastered on his face, you exhaled with a smile.

Your nerves seemed to relax as Neteyam answered with a hum as you made your way towards the small kitchen you had, washing your hands before tying your hair back.

"Any students of mine who would've acted like either of you would've had to report to our father." He chuckled, sitting down soundly beside his brother in the open space as you watched them.

You were quick to ask either party if they were hungry as you were preparing a small bowl of fruits to eat, to which they both responded with a soft no. You only nodded and smiled, continuing to prepare food for yourself as their conversation went in one ear and out the other.

You smiled as you looked over to Lo'ak, remembering your somewhat enjoyable and long afternoon with one another once he came back home. He apologized for upsetting you and made love to you to help you forget, and in all honesty, it had worked, somewhat.

You weren't as upset as you were earlier in the morning, and the afternoon was enjoyable enough between the two of you to enjoy an anniversary. Discomfort welled in your chest, but you turned it down deeper and deeper the more you ate, a small frown appearing on your face as you glanced over at Lo'ak.

He'd made love to help you forget; he didn't even have to try in order to cheer your spirits again. His apology didn't have even a quarter of effort in it, or at least not as much effort he placed into the sex he always had with you. It seemed more as if he used you to get over his own guilt than trying to actually help you with yours.

Your frown hadn't gone unnoticed by Neteyam, who glanced over at you tugging a smile at his lips, you hadn't even bothered to look at him before you turned your head entirely and brought your hands up to your face. Lo'aks' attention turned towards his brothers' sight as he heard the flap of his home open then close slightly.

"Moody as always" Lo'ak chuckled, shaking his head and turning back to his brother, who only raised a brow at him. "It'll be over it, she always has her constant mood swings." He added after, earning a hum as a response from his brother.

"You should treat her better." He said, earning a quick scoff from Lo'ak, who now began to glare at him. "She's not 'moody', she's hurting, if you were her mate you'd know that." He finished, rolling the last bit off to sound harsher than intended.

"You speak strongly as if you know her better than I do bro, lets not forget that she's with me." He laughed, placing his arm down on his knee before speaking again.

'Because I do know her better than you do', he thought. There wasn't a single thing he didn't know about you at this point. He might've known you better than he knew himself and what his priorities and favorite things are.

"Besides, we agreed on taking things slow, I'm not ready for the entire 'soul tie' that comes with mating and making tsaheylu, neither is she." He shrugged, sinking back onto the floor with a sigh. Neteyam only swallowed and looked around, anger and jealousy blossoming in his chest.

He didn't respond, but his thoughts were enough to read off of his face, if someone were to look at him. His brother was afraid of commitment and mating and yet had sex with you whenever he pleased?

You had been crying in his arms this morning complaining of how tired you were with Lo'ak, just to lay down with him hours later? Was sex the only way to solve the issues between the two of you when you fought? Was it even considered a relationship by how out of sync and troubled the two of you were?

A frown quickly appeared on his face, batting his eyes towards the flap entrance of the hut as he watched you step inside, no longer smiling. You walked over to the two men before stopping before Lo'ak, who layed on the floor, his eyes closed.

"Lo'ak." You spoke, your voice hoarse as you nudged at his side with your feet. He shot open his eyes and quickly sat up, looking up at you with a puzzled expression. "Your friends are waiting for you outside." Was all you added on before turning your back to him, your voice laced with anger. He only shot a look towards his brother and back over to you, smiling softly before standing up and bidding farewell to you both before stepping outside with his supplies.

Neteyam kept his eyes on your figure, the way you closed the flap of the hut and bonded it shut, your hands shaking in the process as you lowered your head. Soon you turned and made your way back over, standing in the small kitchen before speaking to him, your eyes everywhere else but in his.

"Do you need anything." You said, your question heavy, leaning more towards as a statement. He hadn't answered immediately, more concerned for your sudden change in attitude, but he soon took on your previous offer, wanting to eat with you to soothe the air.

You only prepared a meal to share between the two of you as you made your way to him, sitting down in front of him without a word. You hadn't bothered to pay any mind to him or look at him as the two of you spoke, until eventually he did.

"Do you want to speak on what's troubling you?" He asked, his eyes boring into your face to fish a reaction out of you, even a slight twitch at the face or a tightening of your jaw, which you did.

"No" you spoke, continuing to eat peacefully, your eyes lowered into your lap as you continued, earning a huff from him. You only rolled your eyes at the action before looking up at him, your hair loose and falling at the sides of your face. "What?" You shot out.

"What did he do this time to make you upset to the point where you won't speak. Even to me? Don't tell me it has to do with his friends that were outsid-"

"Do you know if Lo'ak is being unfaithful to me?" You interrupted, placing your bowl down and watching moves intensely. He nearly choked as he placed his food down, coughing with a shocked look on his face, puzzled before you spoke again. "A woman came here with Tikal, asking for him. She twirled her hair and batted her lashes as she did so at me, like she had known who I was, just didn't care." You added on, chewing another bite as you did so.

Neteyam was shocked beyond belief, he tried to open his mouth, to deny ever knowing or even thinking his brother would do such a thing. His mouth remained agape, thousands of questions spiraling around in his mind.

He had expected you to cry, collapse into his arms and sob loudly, so loudly he'd feel it in his lungs, and possibly cry along with you. He expected you to attack Lo'ak, not let him roam free with the woman who asked for him, but you just sat here, composed and collected.

It hadn't made sense to him at all, he was sure he had just interrupted a moment between the two of you earlier when he arrived, and all you could do was look at him. There it was, what made him gasp before he spoke, you smiled at him. You smiled at him in regards to his surprise and idled look at the situation.

"N-no, I didn't.... L-"

"I knew you didn't know, I was only teasing." You cooed, smiling at him before placing your hand over his. His demeanor was now shifting, from shock to pure confusion. "I've known for a while, I was just figuring out how to tell you without killing you, or for you to lash out at him." You said, placing his bowl of food back in his hands as you ate again. "Eat, it'll help with the shock."

What, no, why. Why was all of this occurring now and why did you wait until now to do it all. Why were you so okay with all of this when you had known for moments before, especially when the relationship between the two of you had been so fresh. Could it be that maybe..

"Do you not love him anymore?" He asked, his voice lowering an octave, he watched as you blinked at him twice. You looked off to the side as if thinking for a moment before you responded.

"I can't not love him, love isn't something that stops." You said with honesty, smiling again before starting again. "Love is just something that transforms, it can grow into hate, sorrow, or stronger. It could start off as friendship or romance and change into something else. The love you have for someone can't just die." You finished, looking up at Neteyam, his lips pressed into a thin line.

"Or it passes onto someone else.” He said, his voice sounding hopeful as he budded in closer to you, taking in your reaction. You only turned to the side hiding your bashful gaze at him. “Leave him” he repeated in the same tone as this morning.

“It’s not as easy as you make it to be.” You replied, shaking your head before standing and taking your bowl aside. Neteyam only followed before speaking again.

“Then I’ll do whatever I have to do to help you enjoy yourself.” He flattened, placing his bowl beside yours from behind you, his fingertips brushing against your skin.

You turned to face him, his face only inches away from yours. Your breath fanning his face as his did yours. It smelled sweet, and it felt warm, inviting, comforting, just like his touch which spread through your body, now grappling onto you.

If there was any word to describe how Neteyam felt now he’d use it, he’d use it and show you how you made him feel. He was so obsessed with you it became intoxicating, he couldn’t sleep without picturing you or dreaming of you, dreaming of a moment like this.

He didn’t need to know whether you loved him or not, quite frankly he didn’t care. If he was able to get any piece of you he could he’d gladly take it. He pried into your relationship with Lo’ak in a way he prayed to Eywa you hadn’t known, emotionally.

He was your support whenever you were too weak or unstable to handle anything else from his brother and in the worst way possible he enjoyed it. He hadn’t enjoyed watching you suffer, if anything it hurt him more than life itself, but knowing your first thought or feeling was to come rushing to him in order to have some sort of peace and relief with yourself made him smile.

It made him smile like he had right now, his eyes glazing over your now wide ones, glossy and curious as if testing him. Luring him in closer and listening to your heartbeat quicken.

“He may have wanted you, and has you… but I need you.” He breathed, his lips ghosting over yours before brushing against them slightly, a small gasp in rest of a moan escaping your lips as you grabbed onto his hands that were wrapped around you.

“And you’ll have me soon Neteyam..”

⋆.ೃ࿔⛈ ݁ ˖*༄

Hate Me II

Taglist: @bakugouswaif @confusedexisting

➸ BACKGROUND; - short drabble of nerd!armin in university at a college party with his friends and others on a sunday.

➸ WARNINGS; - wc. 1k roughly, kissing, make-out mentions, grinding, dancing, teasing, arousal mentions, sexual attraction, romantic attraction, college party, tongue piercing , alcohol/drinking mentions, etc.

➸a.i; - 🌸my main navigation uh i got bored and nerd amin has been on my mind all day okay bye!! im still taking reqs atm and also idk if i should make a part 2...

recc song:

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

Maybe he was ill

No way that was the case, his health is in great shape, if not perfect. It's not like he hadn't been in a situation like this before, but everything felt different, or at least you made it seem that way.

Armin was never really new to anything; he'd never been a slow learner either. He caught onto a lot of things quickly, mainly in classes, or change in attitudes from his friends, even the difference in energy from his parents on some occasions. He had a thing for 'reading' people, and it seemed that his little trick had saved the itch in his body that's been there for nearly an hour.

Maybe it was the growth spurt he had gotten, or his piercing, but he was getting a lot of compliments and attention tonight, especially from you. The way you were dancing on him told him everything he needed to know, and how you dragged his lazy hands onto your hips drove him mad. He was sure even over the blaring and bumping music you could feel his heartbeat racing against your backside, but it didn't seem to bother him.

The tighter the small tent in his pants seemed to push out the harder it was for him to concentrate on anything else. As loud as the music was it seemed almost too quiet to drown out his thoughts. The way your perfume seemed to have a hand wrapped around his throat and how your eyes had that lingering look practically giving him permission to do what he's dreamed of before.

He's never been this eager for anything in his life, he thought. Not to receive a grade for any test or group project, not his diploma after graduation, not even waiting for his degree now. Or a confirmed group hangout at the end of the week after such shit lectures, all of that drained out of his mind while you leaned back into him, tilting your head back slightly to send him a cheeky smile.

He was quick to stop your lower body from grinding against him again, fear completely jumping at him. You still protested against him, the two of you making your way to the wall closest to the speakers on the side in the dark corner, watching others dance and drink as well. This was it, his life is over after this, he thought.

You were going to see his boner and declare him a creep, report him, get the party shut down and he would be sleeping in a cell tonight. His friends would think he's insane and distance themselves from him, maybe the only visitors he'd have would be his parents, if they wouldn't just disown him right after that.

He swallowed harshly, completely turning his attention away from you, letting go of the belt holes on your short jeans that rested at your waist as your backside sunk into him. He shut his eyes and bit his bottom lip, trying to think of anything to stop the tightness in his jeans.

For some reason they felt a size too small, like below his waistline couldn't breathe, or maybe he couldn't breathe. This was so shameful, and if he wasn't clouded in a daze he would've been disappointed in himself, but when you let go of the empty bottle in your hand to it clinking onto the floor as a gasp escaped your lips he almost cursed.

You didn't bat away, or find him gross and pull away, if anything you leaned deeper into him and let out a soft moan. It was quiet underneath all of the noise and music, but he heard it. If he hadn't known any better, he would've just dropped his pants right then and there.

Then he held back onto you, but before he could keep his grip on your hips firm you turned to him, mouth agape. He took in your full expression, flushed face, dazed hue and slightly sweaty face, your shirt seemed tighter, and your lip-gloss was still somehow intact. He exhaled so heavily, swallowing again and feeling his piercing bob around in his mouth before leaning down to kiss you quickly.

The friction between the two of you became hotter, one kiss leading to another, and now tongue being involved as you practically ate at each other whole in the corner, his piercing grazing over your lips and tongue every now and then sending a shiver down your spine. You were the first to pull away, gasping for air as your arms were wrapped around the back of Armin's neck.

It felt so hot in the room all of a sudden, the air feeling thicker than it was on the dancefloor with the two of you. You only smiled cheekily at him, bashing your lashes before looking off to the side to see if you had caught anyone's attention, and thankfully it didn't seem that way. With a quick tap at your side from him you turned back around to face Armin, eyes low and heavy as you looked at him intensely.

And for the first time ever when reading someone he blushed heavily, clearly reading the look in your eyes, practically begging him to have you for the night.

Skipping tomorrow's 9:30 lecture won't hurt him that badly.

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅