hi friends. after someone reblogged a photo of me and G, and numerous porn blogs following me, I’m feeling like this space is no longer safe. I’d love to stay in touch via Instagram, if we’re mutuals. Message me and I can send you my Instagram handle lol.

I watched a thirty minute documentary called the first year. It’s about a woman’s experience in her first year postpartum and having postpartum depression. and it was really moving because I’ve had such bad postpartum anxiety so it was nice to just see someone talk about how becoming a parent can really impact your mental health. but it also kinda made me sad because she talked about how finding a community of mothers, via support groups, was so critical to her recovery and like...become a mom during a pandemic meant I had none of that available to me and it’s just another reminder of how different it was to experience postpartum in the midst of a global pandemic versus not.

I bought some $7 Hanes jersey shorts off Amazon and they are fuckin clutch.

I want to get pregnant in the fall because having a baby/sixteen weeks maternity leave during the summer would be A+ but I also am ovulating over Memorial Day weekend, which is exactly the weekend I got pregnant with Graham so part of me is like “wouldn’t it be cute if it happened again then!!”. realistically I can’t plan to get pregnant because it took us so long the first time but I think we’re better equipped with MAYBE knowing why we conceived - Alex stopped smoking weed for 90 days and I got medicated for a thyroid problem I didn’t even know I had.....so Alex is going to do a weed detox over the summer and 🤞🏻 for a fall pregnancy.

amazing what warm weather, sunny skies and eight hours of sleep will do for my mental health.

my anxiety is so bad it’s making me feel depressed. I’m on medication but not in talk therapy. I feel like the medication isn’t working and I’m just ruminating on everything, feeling so much guilt and shame, hating myself and feeling undeserving of everything good I have but deserving of all the bad.