Nihil

>meet cute goth chick at SatanCon.

>she tells me she's a tankie ☭.

>we talk about comics, Satanism, communism, revolution, and other topics.

>fall in love.

>meet her again later at Voltaire concert.

>she recognizes me because I'm wearing a giant agave crown annointed with shit, chaos magick, and pure insanity by Leyba himself.

>her boyfriend walks up to where we're talking.

myfacewhenboyfriend.jpeg

Fire, brimstone, and the antediluvian flood.

My demoness and her angel’s grin.

A sword thirsting for God’s blood,

Her whispers promise the triumph of sin.

“Hark, Samael! The host bleeds”

Her words send a shiver through me.

“Strike true, for your comrades and thee.”

Sisyphus knows, when you rail against Olympus

There's no respite, chorus, or bliss.

Unsung martyrs screaming against the gods

Our will manifest, or rebel thoughts.

Sing, O, unholy host!

We will eat their Holy Ghost.

“Scream, Samael, let them hear the adversary!”

Na’amah howled with manic glee.

Where Lucifer failed we are born anew.

Red and black, the trumpet blew!

Arcade and Zita on blackened wings flew.

With each bang of the drum our audacity grew!

“Slay their gods and break their crowns!

Salt their foundation, reject their laws!

Gnash their religion in your jaws!

Let slip Belial’s hounds!”

I see red! For this I was bred!

I hoist my sword for all those who bled!

The corresponding link.

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/church-reverend-pictured-crisps-nipples-7547510?fbclid=IwAR0YdeyU6DL3M8Ss0bSPfwGfP7xeAdWCDt763SyCYj2LhB1_k7n7id55__c

Existential thoughts from K. S. Faust. Inspired by a summary of Heidegger's philosophy I found.

One of my grandmothers has Alzheimer's disease. The other one died from Alzheimer's. I find it a horrible disease. The sufferer slowly loses touch with their reality. The loss of sentience creeps in such a gradual way that the individual is hardly ever aware of the degradation and by the time it becomes noticeable the individual's mind has degraded beyond the potential to even recognize the degradation. I always said that if I were to be diagnosed with Alzheimer's I would go out into the forest and fistfight a bear. Recently I've been pondering the fact that dementia might be a preferable alternative to dying lucid.

When you're lucid, you have the inescapable recognition that the yawning and abyssal chasm of what Heidegger calls 'The Nothing' looms before you. It is a dizzying and quite literally existential feeling knowing that each thought at that point may potentially be your last before you're swallowed by eternal umbra. I spent a combat deployment in Afghanistan. Quite frankly, I'm not terribly happy with my role as colonizer in a war that quite clearly fought for corporate interests. Especially as a man whose people had suffered from horrific colonization. The cognitive dissonance still fucks me up. Our first KIA in Afghanistan was a pretty vicious one. V.B. got hit by a directional IED. The Taliban had packed a giant circular tube with motorcycle parts and about 40 lbs. of explosives underneath it. They effectively constructed a giant shotgun. When said IED ignited, it blew off both of his legs and mangled one arm which might as well been amputated considering it was only held on by a thin piece of meat. I actually watched as his leg do cartwheels in the air above the explosion before falling back down into the crowd to end up Satan knows where.