theLifestyle Of A

For the first time in YEARS, I no longer have no underlying love interest. All emotional ties have been conquered.

I decided to check out several resources concerning fetish and kinks, but mostly kinks, to get a grip on my sexuality. My fantasies seemed to be going all over the place when I would perform self-care in my down time.

Actirasty

Agoraphilia

Intoxication

Nyctophilo

Odaxelagnia

Sadism

Vampire

Barebacking

Body Painting

Internal Cum Shots

Pictophila

Revvin/Car Cranking/Peal Pumping

Sensation Play

Blindfold/sensory Deprivation

Amaurophilia

Bondage

Breath Play

Choking

Gag

Orgasm Control

Orgasm Denial

Face Slapping

Triolism

Begging

Collaring

Queening

Agrexophilia

Exhibitionism

Mixophilia (watching others having sex in a mirror)

You know...

I realized it’s alright to miss you.

Missing the way you laughed smiled, and talked to no end.

Missing the fact that you felt like sharing your thoughts with me and encouraging me in your tough love way.

It takes a lot of love to motivate someone you care about. Friends or not.

I’m just glad you wanted what you couldn’t have.

My POV & motivational pull

So for the last 3 months, I have done nothing but bite my wounds and bit as hard as I could until I couldn’t breath. My tension is giving me the exact feeling I felt when I realized that maybe I am without a paddle. I’m overthinking what could come next now because of all of the time I’ve lost.

With that being said, my detox has been an utter failure. My thoughts have gone to shit. My dreams were anything but a comfort seeing as the thoughts I faced while i was awake decided to give me an idea of what I needed to understand in the long run. I just kept avoiding it with childish play to steer clear of any false pretenses. Why should I let anyone just know who I am and get away with acting like I was the one to initiate trouble? Have I lost my touch?

Then I realized my crown was slipping a bit.

Someone caught it and placed it back where it belonged with their silence. 

So now, I am just about skilled in my eyebrows having a more filled in look when I go to put on my makeup. You can check it out on my IG: @yahoneypie for the moments I’m feeling hella saucy and cute. 

Now I’m going to start off with jumping jacks instead of jumping rope for now. I bought the damn thing a while back and used it only a few times. My mind keeps trailing off to getting bull whips all at the same time. 

I can also say that keeping up with my face routine is a bit of a battle for me at times but I’ve been managing to snap myself out of my misery spells to some degree. This month I’ve been concerned my emotional and mental needs to truly capture my art in a new way of reaching others as a world I wish to share in words that I’d rather not dare. I’ve taken into account of obtaining therapy as a reasonable way of loving myself through chatting with a professional and also it is a court ordered part of getting my license back.

I’ll explain how it came to be in the next post. No excuses but I truly want to make a real chance to overcome what overwhelms me. Personal relationships have come to frighten me and I feel like I’m suffocating when I attempt to connect. I’m in need of a happy medium of having chaos surround me in some aspect. So I choose to let my art display the longing for the peace of escaping a trapped reality of what can be created in solitude. What madness lies here in the silence as cicadas chirp and wild life wanders by your window with light steps, the imagination runs wild with sensing intentions or guessing what creatures are thriving around you. These moments are captured through experiences that bring me peace. This center is where I continue to find what keeps me detached from encounters beyond the friendship within myself. 

In the end, building myself up enough to be with someone I can let my guard down to without having to ask. I’ve searched in too many for the wrong impression of thinking it was different each time. My mind wandered down the line of being more of a pretty face, the physical attribute that led many statements to a new absurdity the more I grew. 

I really don’t know how to just say something to people now that I’m in my mid-20s. It’s not like I expect everyone to hate, at eventually, yeah I can see it happening.

I can just manage to slow the clock down quick enough to just show some love when I’m digging someone’s style, integrity, passions, and beliefs. It’s just a fixation of a giant buffet I’ve taken into account of paying attention to.

Maybe I don’t want to admit all of my feelings in one go to people who want to love me. Even when the moments were available to become something extraordinary, I became fed up on being the last on everything.

I don’t really think about anything too life changing these days. I’m always caught up in a thought storm about how I actually maintain my relationships and communication. No luck so far. My opinion anyway.

Having this sense of detachment and sometimes, second guessing, is putting a toll on me. Why do it? To find the meaning of caring in an act of kindness. Granted I tend to bite more than I can chew, but nonetheless marching thru the mud is what comes with experience. Again, I pay attention to the breeze for a sign of life.

Finally making this into my official sanctuary of all that is lewd and crude to photo and video dump my personal made photos, clips and video creations. I hope you enjoy the items I have in store for you as I’ve been curious about how to approach displaying them.

Message me for custom requests for a video clip or picture set you would love to see me post. With that being said, you will be helping me expand my portfolio because I want to start a creative business to tribute to the organizations that are truly giving back to my local community. 

Follow my journey on my social media pages to watch as I turn my vision into reality. 

~KQ13~ the gemini nymph

//Lewd, Crude & Filled With Attitude//

You left a little scar and I wonder where you are

I’m coming to my car and I’m headed to the bar

I listen to lonely boy in a lonely world

And yes I know it’s true

I close my eyes and I find you”

This is the week of November 15th, I’m feeling pretty confident about the effort I’ve been placing into my work. Truthfully, as far as the efforts of distributing all of my content in an appropriate place based on prospects has been the biggest hassle I have ever had the pleasure of getting into.

I thought it was all about getting sponsorships and an agent was the only way to making it in this world. It was long forgotten, that branding one’s work, was an effective way to not only display a portfolio but potentially reach companies looking for that specific service that is being offered.

Now I’ve redefined a website that is long overdue thanks to a lot of mental restrictions created by myself. I surely hope to launch the website that will display opportunities to hire me as a freelancer.

So if you’re looking for a freelancer in the field of Voice Over work, specific Administrative Duties or a content writer/blogger then I’m your person to get the job done. There is even going to be a section for free consultation for your business needs and directing to reliable resources that won’t ghost you after you make a business proposition. 

Sad but true.

Anyways, I’ve been tossing the idea of sexual expression and racism as a core part of the talk. Well that, along with trying to muster up the energy to start on sexworker interviews to really make a voice for the issues that concern me most.

There’s always too much to type or too much to research.